The Bratva’s Bounty (Volkov Bratva #3)

20. Lev

Chapter 20

Lev

~3 days later~

"Lev. Why do you have scissors to your neck?" Nikolai's heavy steps stopped with his tired groan.

"You know what? Don't stab yourself until I've had some coffee. I can't deal with your shenanigans this early in the morning without caffeine," he told me tensely with a hand held out in my direction. "Over thirty fucking years, and it never ends," he mumbled.

Scoffing offendedly, I loosely pointed the sheers in his direction. "Debating how much I value my life." I deadpanned, instantly regretting my choice of words because I didn't mean to sound like an ungrateful brat ready to end himself.

"Lev," Nikolai groaned into his hands as he ran it down his face. "We've talked about this. Not in the fucking house or my backyard. Listen, Stepan is just down the road." Okay, now he was fucking with me with how his voice picked up toward the end.

Rolling my eyes, I slammed the kitchen shears down onto the counter. "Kolya," I choked out, struggling for a moment to pace my breathing. "How do you do it? Love someone? How do you become fine with becoming so vulnerable?"

Dumbfounded, my older brother stood there, blinking at me. "Yeah, no, fuck this. I need my coffee first," Nikolai decided, before going about the kitchen, to put a pot of coffee on.

Sighing heavily, he leaned against the fridge and rubbed his temples as he waited for the pot to be done. "Lev, just spit it out because, honestly, you've been acting really strange the past few months." Nikolai's face softened with concern, genuine concern. "What is going on with you? Talk to me, please." It was rare for Nikolai to truly plead to anyone, let alone me.

Taking in a deep breath, I gripped the edge of the counter. "Nicole… I don't know what to do." I saw Nikolai's body twitch and his mouth open out of the corner of my eyes, but I held a hand out to stop him. "As in, I don't know how to process everything I feel for her."

Okay, maybe that didn't come out right either.

Frustrated, I ruffled my messy hair with both my hands. "I just…" Sighing exasperatedly, I pounded my fist against the marble countertop. "I know you and Angel didn't exactly start off normal and all, but how did you come to love her and just accept everything? Like I want to give Nicole my heart, but every time I think about doing it, I feel like an embarrassed clown. It makes me feel so broken and vulnerable." And now I probably sounded like a total wimpy loser.

"Ah, love." Nikolai gave a sympathetic chuckle before stepping up to me and patting my shoulder. "It's not easy."

Turning away for a moment, Nikolai rummaged through his kitchen. I paid him no mind because there was nothing to watch—I've seen him go through his own kitchen numerous times.

A sudden clink , along with the vibrations of thick glass next to my hand, made me give Nikolai my full attention again. "Kolya, even I'm not that stupid to drink at eight in the morning." I deadpanned, flickering my eyes at the bottle of vodka he set out .

Raising his eyebrow, Nikolai breathed out a chuckle. "Oh, you're going to need it. I'm just being nice and giving it to you beforehand," he joked with a dry chuckle. "You've got a long road ahead of you, little brother."

Going back to the coffee machine, he filled his mug. "Love is complicated, even when it is clear. It makes you turn into someone you are not, often for the better, though." Flashing me a sympathetic smile, he leaned back against the counter, sipping at his coffee. "It's going to be a hard one for you to swallow given how you are, but whatever is happening with Nicole, let it."

Reeling back a little, I crossed my arms and scoffed. "Who said it had to do anything with Nicole?" I got a little defensive because I hated how Nikolai pried at the right places.

Letting out a ridiculous scoff, Nikolai looked at me sardonically with a smug smirk and raised brow. "Lev, you've been acting strange ever since Nicole showed up in your life. It's not hard to put one and one together to make two." He mused with a chuckle.

Shaking his laugh off, he looked at me seriously. "Don't fight it, Lev. Yes, opening yourself to someone like that is scary, but trust me, it's worth it. If Nicole is the right one, then she will treasure the fact you made yourself vulnerable to her because you trust her," pausing, he took a few sips of his coffee with a satisfied sigh, "It's okay to let other people in Lev, especially if your gut and heart are pulling you in their direction. I know it's not easy for you to let people in. It's who you are, but don't let that stubborn shield of yours prevent you from having the best life."

Pulling his phone out, he smiles at the screen for a good moment before tucking it away. "I can't tell you how to love someone. That's something that comes naturally to you and your relationship with your partner. What I can tell you is that you really have a rough road, but there's a field of happiness at the end of it. Just… Have a lot of patience, don't punch first before you ask questions, or God forbid, shoot first before questions," Nikolai jabbed at me with a snicker on the last part.

"That, and a nice glass on the rocks helps," Nikolai added with a soft laugh. "Also, what were you doing with the sheers in my kitchen?" he inquired with a somewhat concerned raise of his eyes .

Smiling and chuckling awkwardly, I rubbed the back of my neck, tugging at the collar. "I was hiding from Nicole… While debating whether or not to cut her collar off." I also might have been hiding to avoid another potential case of death by poisonous food.

Yeah, Nicole was still in denial about her food being that bad despite being unable to stomach all the meals she had made for us. Every meal she tried to make us resulted in takeout. I really should ban her from the kitchen before the fumes kill us. Honestly, I adored Nicole from the bottom of my fucked-up heart, but that woman cannot cook and should not be allowed within a ten-foot radius of a kitchen.

The faint patter of footsteps had Nikolai and me looking over to the kitchen's entrance. "Oh, Lev, hey," Angel greeted me with a sleepy smile before going over to Nikolai and snuggling herself into him. Nicole's looking for you. I think she said something about sending you back home for breakfast?"

Instinctively, my stomach churned with a threat to throw up at the thought of putting anything Nicole made into my mouth. "Nope. Tell her I drowned in the pool or that Kolya finally had enough of me and punted me into a volcano." I threw my head back with a groan of complaint. "Listen, Nicole is lovely, but—"

"Yeah, she can't cook for shit." Angel laughed tiredly. "I'm surprised you're not in the hospital getting your stomach pumped or something." Angel's laughter was a little too amused for my liking.

"You just want to see me suffer, you sadist," I grumbled with a roll of my eyes. "God, you and all your friends are batshit crazy, I swear."

"Oh, as if you and the others are saints yourselves," she retorted with a scoff and chuckle.

"Compared to you? Yes," I playfully argued back.

To prove a point, I held my hand up and started counting off with my fingers, "You love to torture people, Hanna's another me, only more psychotic, and Nicole is a bomb obsessed techy who lost a few screws. Oh, and you agreed to marry Kolya knowing fully well who he is. Also, you get along with Alexei way too well, who, by the way, is a fucking psychopath." Holding up my other hand, I continued to list things off, "Hanna chases Stepan through the woods like a psycho-killer, and I'm pretty sure she and Stepan do a bunch of other shit that would be considered a little crazy."

Glancing over at the bottle of whiskey out of the corner of my eyes, I debated cracking it open for a few sips. I quickly shoved the thought aside, though, to continue. "Then we have Nicole, who loves bombs a little too much. I'm not even going to go into the virtual havoc she can cause nor the crazy shit she'll pull." Anyone ballsy enough to attack a gang member outright definitely had a few crazy bones in their body.

Snickering, Angel looked at me with a deviously cruel smirk. "Shit, like tattoo and collar you?"

Nikolai choked and spat out his coffee at his wife's words. "Excuse me, what?" He stared at me with wide eyes, hoping something got lost in translation.

Paying my brother no attention, I darted over to Angel, slapping my hand over her open mouth before she could spew more embarrassing shit. "Nothing, bratok , nothing." I tried to wave him off with a nervous chuckle and grin.

Prying my hand off, Angel digs her fist into my gut, shoving me away. "Oh, come on now, Lev, it's not as bad as high school prom night." I wanted to strangle her grinning face—not to kill or harm her, just playfully!

My head instantly snapped to Nikolai, and my face paled a little with horror as my eyes widened. "You told her?" There were some secrets between Nikolai and me that were sacred, prom night being one of them.

Angel spoke up for him before any words could fly out of Nikolai's stunned mouth. "Of course, he told me." With a devilish grin, Angel leaned up to my shocked face. "He's my husband , so he tells me everything." As if to further egg me on, she leaned even closer. "We tell each other everything and hide nothing from each other."

Directing everything to Nikolai, I stepped up to him, grabbed the front of his shirt, and jerked him a bit. "You said you wouldn't tell anyone about my dick getting stuck," I spoke in a rushed voice that was barely above a whisper.

"Oh, is that what happened? I thought it was about you being stupid." Angel's nonchalant sigh made me shake my brother again. "Or that time he had to pick you up. "

"You told her all of that?" I freaked out slightly, feeling the world around me sink into my body, weighing me down with dread and embarrassment. "You promised me none of it would ever see the light of day…!" I hissed out in a raspy whisper.

Recovering from his stupor, Nikolai shoved me off. "You need to back off," he curtly told me with a jab to my chest with his finger.

Then, he turned his attention to Angel, who immediately wiped the grin off her face. "Wait, Kol—" Her words choked out with a gasp from Nikolai's sudden neck grab.

Pulling her right up to him, he leaned down until his face was mere inches from her. "You are going to march your bratty ass back to our room, bend it over our bed, and wait for me to come punish it. If you're going to be a brat this early in the fucking morning, then you damn well better be prepared to take it."

Now I couldn't help but be a smug asshole when I saw her get her dues. Lightening my expression, I gave her an 'Oh, you're in trouble' kind of look while flipping her off. As I watched the scene unfold before me, I leaned back against the counter with my arms crossed. Of course, once Nikolai was done with her, he turned his attention to me.

"And you." He jabbed a finger in my direction. "You need to stop jumping ahead of shit before you hear the whole situation." Straightening himself, he looked at me sternly. "I told her nothing about your high school prom night, where you had to call me after getting shit-faced drunk and got your stupid pierced dick stuck in a girl's braces." Then he had the gall to smirk and tilt his chin at me smugly. "Until now, because you were a dick to me."

Angel sputtered a laugh, holding onto her round stomach as she strained to stop. "For the record, Nikolai never told me anything." Breathing deeply, Angel held onto the counter for support. "I was just being a bitch and digging at you for the hell of it."

Motherfucker. I got played.

Growling out of frustration, I threw my hands up in the air and turned to leave. "You two are assholes," I half shouted as I began to walk away. "I'm not saving your asses in the field after this, " I half-joked, grumbling a bit under my breath.

Deciding to take my chances with Nicole rather than stick around with my brother and his wife and risk more embarrassment. At least I could still show my face with food poisoning. No way would Angel let the new ammunition about my high school horror go; it was only a matter of time now before she'd use it to blackmail me into something.

Going back to my place, I decided at the last minute not to enter, opting for my garden for some more moments of peace before I had to face the music of life. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't displeased with Nicole or anything like that. I really wasn't trying to avoid her for the sake of it; I honestly needed some fresh air and time to myself to go over the past few days.

Nothing exciting happened the past three or so days besides adjusting to Nicole being around. Things were fine, but we've been living in some strange honeymoon haze. I'd go to work during the day, occasionally chat with Nicole via text during my time away, grab little treats for her on the way home, come home to either takeout or dinner prepped for me to cook, and we'd cuddle and fuck before bed.

Life was good, ideal even, but there was always a tension between us about the shit we had to address. We haven't poked the situation with Nicole and her parents with a ten-foot pole, nor have we touched my bratva business. Truthfully, I didn't want to involve her with my family's mafia turmoil, but it would seem that she had her hand in the pot already via Angel.

After a little digging, I discovered that Nicole was the other techy genius behind Angel's success besides Bao, who apparently was her younger brother. Strangely, I didn't find anything about Bao and Nicole being siblings. All I dug up about Nicole's familial background was her mother, father, and two younger brothers. I met one of her brothers, the one who was currently CEO of N.Q. Tech. Yet, when I questioned her parents about her other brother, the middle child, I was met with extreme detest before it flipped to a strange denial.

Come to find out, Bao was cut out of the family for being gay, and apparently, his name wasn't Bao. He was born Jacob Chau, but after high school, Jacob dropped off the face of the earth from my search. From what Bao and Angel told me, he came out to his parents at eighteen, and that was the last of Jacob Chau. His parents cut him off and out of their lives forever. Then, wanting a new identity for himself, he created new records for Bao Vu and has been living with Greg ever since his parents gave him the boot.

Even though their parents cut Bao out, Nicole still kept in contact and maintained the close relationship they'd always had growing up. Also, Nicole was one of the few who Bao came out to first and fully supported him through everything.

As crazy as Nicole was, after hearing about her softer side, I found a new fondness blooming for her. It would seem that her overly confident front was more or less a shield from what Angel and Bao have told me. Yes, she was a powerful and confident woman deep down, but she piled it on more than needed to make her mark in society.

No matter, she didn't need to do any of that with me. There won't be a second in our relationship where I wouldn't treat her like the queen she was. I'd stand before her out in the world, protect her from everything so she could live her best life. Then, at home, she could rule all she wanted over me.

"Little lion, there you are!" Her sweet voice brought an internal groan to my peaceful thoughts.

Lulling my head back, I watched Nicole come over to me with a bright smile beaming on her face. Just as she was about to sit down on the ground next to me, I threw my arms around her waist to pull her into my lap with a soft smile of my own. "I thought I made it clear that my lap is your seat from now on," I teased with a widening grin, earning a chuckle and a playful smack to the chest from her.

It only took a second for her face to twist into a stern and concerned expression. "What's wrong? And don't you say nothing or give me nothing either." Sighing heavily, Nicole straddled my lap to face me fully. "I know things have been really good between us the past few days, but we're both deluding ourselves into the whole white picket fence dream. There's a lot we have to talk about that we've been kind of actively ignoring."

Well, glad to see I wasn't the only one who thought so .

Smiling rather flatly, I reached out and tucked her hair away from her face. "I don't know where to start," I admitted with a sigh of defeat.

Pursing her lips in thought, Nicole laid her head against my shoulder. "Well, let's see, my parents stole my company from me, tried to ship overseas to marry me off for business connections, I ran away and basically went psycho, and now I got you," she lightly joked with a chuckle. "In all seriousness, though, we'll figure something out with my parents on a later day after I chat with Angel and Bao some more, once I get settled here."

Taking a deep breath, she snakes her arms around my midsection, squeezing me tightly. "Besides that, we need to talk about us." And here came the dreaded topic. "It's been quite a bit for both of us the past few days, and I know you've said you're fine and all every time I checked in on you after sex, I'm still just worried about you because I know this is all new for you." Leaning her head back, she looked up at me with scrunched eyebrows.

Assuring her with a confident smile, I leaned down and kissed her longingly. "Yes, I really am fine, and more. Yes, it's just taking me a little longer to process everything, but it's more of a me thing." Smiling tenderly at her, I stroked her cheek with the back of my finger. "I mean, I shoved my finger in your ass yesterday, and you took a few minutes to fully process it, so imagine it for me." I teased with a soft laugh.

Rolling her eyes, she flicked my nose. "Fair point, but it just worries me a little when you go a little quiet or disappear to go think without really letting me know." Her smile faltered into a lopsided frown. "I'm just afraid of you not coming back to me because I had pushed some limit I shouldn't have or done something wrong, or that I'd wake up to some note saying you can't do this anymore." She voiced her worries to me with a cracking voice.

The tension in my face softened as I cupped her face and shook my head in denial. " Zhizn moya , no, never. I would never be such a coward to slip from you like that without some word or explanation to your face," I assured her firmly.

The words gnawed at my tongue, but I couldn't get them out.

I love you too much to hurt you.