The Christmas Catch

Chapter 14

Chapter FOURTEEN

May handed Bebe a cup of hot chocolate. “So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.” Bebe sipped her drink. The whipped cream blended smoothly with May’s homemade cocoa recipe. She looked around at her friend’s cozy cottage, festive with Christmas decorations. She had a small Christmas tree sitting on the coffee table with origami cranes hanging from it. The larger tree in front of the window held glass ornaments May had been collecting since she was a young girl. She and her folks always went to local Christmas markets to find them.

“What do you want to do?” May asked.

“Is it ridiculous that the idea of moving to Texas has been replaying in my head?” The words tore from her lips. She stared, stunned, as the truth hit her.

She didn’t want to part from Jay. She’d been praying for their relationship, for God to be in the details, all the while expecting Jay to move to Peachwood Bay. But every time she had the thought, it was followed by the understanding that this was an unrealistic expectation. Jay had never wanted to remain in Peachwood Bay, and if she were honest, that had never been her dream either.

“Ah, you didn’t know you wanted to, huh?” May smirked.

Bebe pressed a hand to her forward. “I’m crazy, aren’t I?”

“Depends on the reason behind the want.”

Bebe stared into her mug. Her heart pounded as dream after dream flitted through her mind. Despite her prayers to stay present and not jump into the future, she couldn’t discount the very real desire to make a home with Jay and Hope. One filled with flag football Saturdays, football Sundays, and joy the rest of the week.

“Bebe?”

“Just thinking.” She met May’s gaze. “I let him go to college without a backward glance. Okay, not completely true, but I didn’t put up a fight. I don’t want to make the same mistake now. I see a future with us, always have.”

“Then listen to your heart, girlfriend. And, of course, talk to God.”

“I have been. I’m just not sure how much of the response is my own wishes or His leading.”

“Hmm, I know that feeling. Have you talked this over with Jay?”

She grimaced. “Kind of? We’ve said we want to be together, and he’s promised he won’t leave me for good again.”

May grinned. “Those are some big steps. I knew you guys were meant to be!”

Bebe chuckled.

“I’m so happy for you. Have you considered looking at jobs out there?”

Bebe’s stomach roiled at the thought. “No. It’s all just coming together in my mind.”

“My mom always says not to quit a job without having another one.” May wrinkled her nose.

“I ... right. That should be a simple thing to look into.” Yet the thought of leaving Georgia and going to Texas filled her with slight panic. Was she doing the right thing? Was this the next move? Or would Jay think it weird that she was contemplating moving to Texas already?

What was preventing her from jumping at the prospect of moving? She would miss Peachwood Bay, but she didn’t have any real ties here. Her folks let her rent their home—that had been more at Bebe’s insistence than theirs—so they could either rent it out again or sell it. But she and Jahleel hadn’t even said the L -word. How could she just move to Texas without talking to him about it?

She pressed a hand against her stomach. “Does this all seem too fast to you?” Surely May would be honest.

“I might be the wrong person to ask because I’m thinking of moving too.” May took a sip of her hot chocolate as if they were having a normal, mundane conversation.

“Excuse me? What on earth are you taking about?” May couldn’t leave. Who would Bebe do life with?

“Ryan’s based in Nashville. It’s kind of hard to have a relationship if I’m eight hours away.”

We’re all mad here. “How do you know he’s worth it? What do you even know about him?”

“I know he makes me laugh, and you know how much I like to laugh.”

Bebe studied her friend. “You’re going to move to Nashville to laugh? Do you hear yourself?”

“I’m not tying the knot tomorrow, girl, so calm down. The only reason I’ve stayed in Peachwood Bay is because I’m comfortable.” May shrugged. “My parents moved five years ago and love Atlanta. Moving to Nashville doesn’t make the distance to Atlanta any farther. It’s literally the same amount of time. I’m just trying to be closer to Ryan to see if we have what it takes to make it. If not, then at least I tried.”

If not, then at least I tried. Why did that feel like a punch to the gut? “May,” Bebe whispered.

“You’ve stopped living, Bebe. You let Will steal your joy and trap you in a town you’re not committed to.”

“I ... I love Peachwood Bay.”

“You do, but you and I both know you’re merely passing time here. Now it looks like the reason for your waiting has arrived. Jay wants to be with you, and you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

May was right. Bebe was scared to live. Scared to do anything that would put her heart at risk for more heartache. But God never promised this life would be easy or that your heart wouldn’t break.

“I don’t know how to live anymore,” she admitted. “And how do I know he won’t leave me again?” Or divorce me like Will?

“Because this time he told you he wouldn’t. Plus, you’ve been checking in with God. You didn’t do that before, right?”

Bebe shook her head.

“I’m sure you can figure out the right path before Christmas gets here and that man leaves. You’ll both want answers by that point.”

Bebe nodded. She already wanted answers, but Jay had pointed out that she didn’t need to know the end to start. Maybe going out with him, shopping with him, and watching movies with him and Hope had all been the first steps in learning how to live and trust again. Not just trusting another man but trusting herself and that she was looking toward the Lord as her source.

“Just keep on taking baby steps. Oh, and look for a job.” May grinned.

“I don’t want to live far away from you.” Bebe poked her lip out, wanting to throw an adult-sized tantrum. Why did life have to be so difficult?

“At least we’d both be moving. If I stayed here, you would be farther from me in San Antonio than if I move to Nashville.”

Bebe sighed. “Fine.”

“I have some frequent-flyer miles.” May put an arm around her. “I’ll visit.” She squeezed Bebe’s hand. “We went to different colleges and managed to stay the best of friends. We can handle you moving to Texas.”

“Still. I’ll miss you.” But May was right. Their friendship had stood the test of time, it could handle a move. If that was what Jay wanted as well.

“Here, I’ll get my laptop, and we’ll look for jobs.” May got up and headed for her bedroom.

Bebe closed her eyes. Lord, I need a sign. I’m talking about a loud, lightning-striking type of sign. I know You want my trust, and You have it. I just don’t trust myself. I want to trust I hear Your voice and not my own. Help me to know it’s You. Please, please help me.

She let out a yelp when she opened her eyes. May was staring at her, wearing a headband with reindeer antlers made of felt. “Why didn’t you make some noise coming back in here? And what’s with the antlers?”

“Hello, you were praying.” May grinned mischievously. “The antlers were in case I scared you.”

Bebe chuckled.

“I pulled up the San Antonio school district. Of course, I have no clue where Jay lives. He could live in the suburbs or something. If you want to be near him but not tell him that you’re looking yet, ask Mrs. Walker. She’ll go crazy with excitement.”

His mama had been the first to call out the rift between them. “You’re probably right.”

“That’s because I always am.” May winked.

As they searched through the listings, the butterflies in Bebe’s stomach slowly settled down. There were a few kindergarten openings in the district. One even advertised for a start after the New Year. Could that be a sign from God that moving to Texas was the right move?

With a prayer, she waited for apprehension to fill her, but rightness took its place. Figuring it couldn’t hurt to see what happened, Bebe let May help her fill out the application. At the last page, May paused. “You ready to hit submit?”

Was she? Bebe pictured Jahleel. The way he had made snowman cookies with her and Hope. The laughter they’d all shared while watching Christmas movies. The way he hugged her as if he never wanted to let go.

“Yes, hit submit.”

“Are you sure, Walker?”

“Yes, Marty. I want to retire.”

After talking to Ryan about his recovery progress last night, Jahleel had formally made his decision. He’d have Marty make a statement to announce his retirement after the season was officially over. Being here in Peachwood Bay had made him realize that achieving a dream meant nothing if he had no one to share it with. He’d played for the NFL for eight years, and not once had his mother or father attended a game. Not to mention that he’d missed out on the best relationship he’d ever had.

He’d come to grips with his past mistakes, and now he was looking forward to a future with much promise. He wasn’t yet sure how long he and Bebe would have a long-distance relationship, but he trusted God would put everything in place with His perfect timing.

“You don’t want to try for a broadcasting career?” Marty asked. “I’m sure I could find you a spot on someone’s show or even get you your own.”

The offer wasn’t even tempting. “Nah, Marty. My priorities are different now.”

“Georgia messing with your mind?”

Jay chuckled. “No. It righted my mind.”

His agent sighed. “What are you going to do after retirement?”

“Lead a normal life.”

“Good luck, then, Walker.”

“Thanks, Marty.”

Jahleel hung up and stood. His stomach rumbled, reminding him that it was lunchtime. He headed for the kitchen. Now that he could walk without added pain, cooking had become his stress reliever. If his mom was home, she’d often join him. It had been great reconnecting with her again. This time when he went back to Texas, he wouldn’t be a stranger. And maybe, somehow, he could convince her to fly out and visit.

The sound of the Temptations’ Christmas album greeted his ears as he neared the kitchen. He stopped short in the doorway. His mom and dad were dancing, twirling around the room and grinning from ear to ear. His father sang along as he spun his mom out and then wrapped her in his arms.

Jahleel’s cheeks flushed at the intimacy of the moment. Not once had he ever wanted a marriage like his parents’, always assuming his father was too harsh, too unbearable to live with. Only now he was wondering if that was his own view of the man. Because this ... this was something he hadn’t seen before.

Or did I just ignore the good, too focused on the bad?

Bebe had shared with him the moments his father had preached something that lifted her spirits and reminded her God was her source for all things. Other patrons seemed to take his bluster as all bark and no bite. So what was he missing that others were seeing?

The Reverend looked up and paused mid-stride. “Jahleel.”

His mom whirled around. “Hey, son. Hungry?”

“Uh...” Why couldn’t he speak? He was too old to be embarrassed by his parents’ display of affection, except he couldn’t recall seeing it before. Or had he blocked those memories?

He shook his head.

“Didn’t know your dad had some moves, huh?” His mom’s eyes twinkled, glowing underneath her blue eye shadow. “We took dancing classes a couple of years ago.”

After she’d recovered from pneumonia? “That’s neat.” Neat? That’s all you can say? “I just came in to make some lunch.”

“I got Sam’s, if you want some,” his father offered.

Jahleel paused in shock. This was the nicest thing his father had said to him since he’d been back. “What did you get?” Maybe this was the olive branch he’d been praying for.

“Three oyster specials.”

His mouth watered in anticipation. “Thank you. I’d like that.”

His father grabbed a to-go container out of the oven and handed it over. Jahleel dipped his head in thanks and headed for the table. He stood there for a moment. Maybe he should go eat in his room? Leave his parents to their dancing?

He looked up at the sound of a throat clearing.

“Have a seat, son. Maybe we can talk.”

“Good idea,” his mother said. She tapped his father’s shoulder. “I’ll go work in the back.”

Jahleel sat down, unease gathering in the pit of his stomach. What could his father have to say? He wasn’t up for a battle of wits or condemnation. All he wanted to do was eat his food in peace. Lord, please be in the midst of this conversation, and thank You for this food.

He took a bite of the fried oysters. He’d get at least one bite in before the lecture started.

“Need some hot sauce?” his father asked.

“Please.” Jahleel licked his lips. His father wouldn’t make enjoying his food easy. Still, the oysters, hush puppies, and crinkle fries called to him. “Ketchup too, please.”

His father placed the condiments on the table, then sat across from him. “How’s your knee doing?”

“Better.” He ate a fry.

“Will you make a full recovery?”

Did his dad care? Lord, please keep my preconceived notions out of my head and let me hear him out. “I should.”

“Good.”

Silence permeated the air.

“Is the team saving your spot?”

“No. I’m retiring.” He watched his father for a reaction.

Surprise filled the Reverend’s eyes. “But you just said you’ll make a full recovery.” His brow furrowed. “Do you need better physical therapy? A new doctor?”

Maybe his father did care. “The injury was too severe for me to make it back on the field. A full recovery simply means I won’t have a limp. But more than that, I have different priorities now.” Just thinking about Bebe made him want to grin, but he curbed the impulse, lest his father think Jay was making light of their conversation.

His father rubbed his gray chin. “Will you be staying in Texas?”

“Most likely.” He wanted to. It was home to him now, but if Bebe wanted to stay in Peachwood Bay, wouldn’t he move here? He would not leave her again.

“Can’t imagine you staying here, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah, I get it. I’m never around.” Jay’s jaw clenched.

“Do you hear insults all the time?”

Unfair. His father loved insulting him. To insinuate that it was all Jay was a bit ridiculous. A lot ridiculous. He drew in a deep breath to speak.

“You don’t fit here,” his father said quietly. “Never really have.”

Jahleel’s mouth dropped open. “But you’ve always pressured me about staying here. Always .” That wasn’t his imagination. He could bring up hordes of conversations from the past to prove his point.

“I know.” His father rubbed his chin again. “I admit I was a little—”

“Zealous?”

“Demanding.”

Jahleel hid a sigh. He wanted to interrupt and argue, but hadn’t he asked God to help give him a new perspective?

“What I want to understand is why.” Jahleel studied his father. “Why was I never good enough?”

His father dropped his head, looking at the dining room table. Jay watched, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Would he yell? Tell Jahleel it was all in his head? Lord, please, help us get the truth out. I’m tired of feeling less- than, and it all started with him.

“Son, I was never holding a measuring stick.”

“Really? Because you’ve told me Walkers are always preachers. Walkers respect the Lord. Walkers wouldn’t sell their soul to play football. If that’s not a measuring stick, I don’t know what is.”

His father’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “You’re right. I said those things.”

“And you believed them?” Jahleel made it a question even though his heart knew the answer. Still, he was trying.

“Yes, I did believe them.”

“Did?” His brows rose. “What changed? And if you changed your mind, then why no word from you?”

“You could have always called us.”

“How was I supposed to know you wanted any communication with me when you’re the one who kicked me out and told me never to return?”

His father sighed. “The moment your mother told me she was pregnant, I was elated.” He looked Jay square in the eye. “There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t dream of plans for you and me. From studying the Word together to going fishing, teaching you how to sail. If a man ever had a moment of hopes and wishes for his future son, I had them too.”

“So what happened? Because all I remember from you was condemnation. Even when I showed up here injured, you were still throwing shade my way, as if it were my own fault I blew out my knee.”

“Your mother sat me down.” His father paused. “Were you aware she had pneumonia?”

Jahleel nodded. “Bebe told me. It would’ve been nice to know at the time of her illness.”

“I refused to call you, and she was too sick to do so.”

The words felt like a blow to the gut. Nevertheless, he motioned for his father to continue.

“I honestly thought it would take her life. I’ve never prayed so hard, and God answered. She turned the corner for the better and was home a week later. When she came home, she sat me down. Told me I’d let stuff in my past harden my heart.”

That Jay could believe one hundred percent. But what stuff in his father’s past had embittered him?

“At first I didn’t want to hear what she had to say. But after that, I started hearing conversations around the church. Not because I was purposely eavesdropping, but I’m a quiet walker.”

That was true. Jahleel could never sneak up on his father, but Obadiah Walker made it his life duty to do so to others.

“There were comments about me being a difficult man to please and that I was a fire-and-brimstone type of preacher.”

“Is that not who you want to be? Or who you thought you were?” Jay asked.

“No. I love the Lord with all my heart, but I grew up with a man who believed in not sparing the rod, and I don’t mean he disciplined me with a right mindset. I was beat.”

Jay’s mouth dried.

“I promised never to lay a hand on my son, but I think not coming to grips with my childhood tainted my mindset anyway. I beat you with my words, and I...” His father swallowed, his eyes looking glassy. “I’m sorry. I’m trying. Your mother has been calling me out on it more and more. She even apologized for being an enabler and not saying something sooner.”

Jahleel blinked. He’d never considered his mother an enabler, but maybe when he was a child, he’d wished she would speak up for him. “I’m sorry you went through that. I didn’t know.”

“I would’ve never been comfortable sharing before now,” his dad admitted.

“So why now?”

“I want to fix the rift I created.”

“I’ve been praying for an olive branch,” Jahleel admitted.

“So have I.” His father’s mouth ticked up a tiny bit at the corner. “I’m sorry, son.”

Jay nodded slowly, releasing a breath. He’d never thought to hear those words come out of Obadiah Walker’s mouth. “Thank you for saying that.”

His father stood. “I should’ve never kicked you out. You’ve done great things in your career, and I hope you’re a first ballot Hall of Famer.”

“Time will tell.”

“I understand you wanting to go back to Texas, but know you’ll always be welcome here.”

A lump formed in his throat. “I appreciate that. And, um.” He stood so he could look his father in the eye. “You’re always welcome to visit me in San Antonio. I have plenty of guest bedrooms ... Dad.”

His father blinked rapidly. Jahleel thought he saw a tear slide down his cheek, but the Reverend turned away before Jay could search any further. Instead, he raised a hand in acknowledgment and trudged down the hall.

What just happened?

Somehow, someway, he and his dad had just had a heart-to-heart that didn’t leave Jahleel feeling bitter but instead feeling like he’d received a Christmas miracle.

He grinned. Thank You, Lord. All praise and glory to You, all day and every day.