The Christmas Crush

Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

“And how does one become president of marketing? You’ve been vice president for, what, two years now? Almost three?” Elena’s father asked. Her mother gave her a sympathetic nod. Mom looked lovely tonight in a black silk dress, her long, dark hair twisted in a chignon. Signature red lipstick, diamond drop earrings. Always perfect.

A waiter arrived at the table with a wine bottle, sparing Elena from responding. After inspecting the label and tasting the sample pour, Dad nodded to indicate his approval. The waiter wrapped the bottle in a white napkin, filled the ladies’ glasses first, then the gentlemen’s. To no one’s surprise, Dad had selected a luxurious, formal restaurant.

The atmosphere made it difficult to relax, and Elena longed for the gift of more informal conversation. About twice a year her family made time to sit down to dinner together, and this was what Dad wanted to discuss?

Elena’s brothers, Alexander and Oliver, stared her down as if they were interviewing her for the job themselves. No wonder Alexander’s wife came up with excuses to avoid these meals. Oliver’s girlfriend, an elegant redhead, looked on the verge of crying from boredom. Elena didn’t blame her. So far, they’d heard about Alexander’s latest trial win and some spectacular contract Oliver had negotiated for an influential client. At one point, Mom had the decency to ask Oliver’s girlfriend, Darcy, about renovations on their house, but then got steamrolled by Dad after a short exchange. Used to following Dad’s lead at the Voss family firm, Mom didn’t initiate another topic.

Elena nibbled on a stuffed mushroom to buy herself more time.

“I’d like to see you in that position in the first quarter of the new year,” Dad said. Her brothers nodded in agreement.

A dinner at a trendy restaurant should have been a great way to pass the evening and put her in a good mood. Instead, irritation pricked at her. She wanted to trade the crystal glassware, gold-rimmed plates, and atmospheric low lights for her bed and a pizza. A night of streaming old Christmas movies. She needed a miracle on 34 th Street to rescue her.

Elena took a long sip of the earthy red wine. She wished she could slug down the whole glass to make this conversation annoy her less. The worst part was how she hated the person she became around her family: a spoiled brat who couldn’t appreciate all her family gave her. She paused, the wine dry on her tongue. She was truly grateful for their generosity, but she’d gladly trade the cash for a deeper emotional connection.

The conflict within her must be plain, because Darcy shot her a compassionate look. “I guess if my boss Derick got run over by a bakery truck, the position would open up,” Elena said.

Darcy giggled; the rest of Elena’s family didn’t react. Unblinking, mouths shut. Like they believed she might be serious.

“That’s statistically unlikely, Elena,” Alexander said. “You need a more obtainable option.”

“Accidents happen all the time,” she said. Hey, if they weren’t going to get the joke, she might as well continue having fun. Not that it was much fun to act like a cranky kid to get her family to back off. A healthy adult would say, I’d like to discuss something else, please , but her family had a knack for draining the healthy adult right out of her. “In fact, that’s how I got the VP spot. The woman who had it before me got flattened. Good for me, too bad for her kids.”

“Very amusing, Elena,” Dad said. He straightened his charcoal-colored tie, then used silver tongs to place another mushroom on everyone’s appetizer plates. Elena folded and unfolded the linen napkin in her lap while she waited for the rest of his verdict. “However, your brother is correct. It doesn’t matter who has the job above you, there is always a legitimate way to get it from them.”

“I did well today at a cookie swap near our new location in New Hope.” The glow from the cookie party, from teasing Lawrence about burning down the inn, felt far away. Lawrence got her jokes, got her references. “The swap represented a crucial step in my sales plan.”

“That’s wonderful,” Mom said. She had the most emotional intelligence of the Vosses. Elena gave her a grateful smile.

“Why would a cookie swap be necessary?” Oliver asked. Darcy elbowed him, a discreet but pointed nudge. “What? It doesn’t sound very high-stakes.”

Elena deflated further, avoiding their gaze by studying her plate.

“Now, Oliver, it matters to your sister,” Dad said. He meant to support her, but he didn’t realize he still undermined her work with his phrasing. Important to her , not to the world.

“Anyway, I’m thinking of giving it all up to go live in this artists’ commune in California I read about in the New York Times . I think the original leader got arrested for running a cult. Maybe that role is available.”

Now no one knew what to do with her, and the table went quiet for a second time. Even Darcy couldn’t guess the right reaction. With a slight shake of her head, Darcy pretended to search for something in her emerald velvet clutch. How did Elena’s brothers still have the talent to make her into a sullen child?

Diners at nearby tables talked animatedly about holiday plans and ski vacations. Mellow jazz played softly on the overhead sound system. Meanwhile, at the Voss table, the light scrape of Alexander’s steak knife on his plate felt too loud.

Elena’s throat went thick. Stop making this worse , she chided herself. Stop using sarcasm as a cover. Maybe one day she would summon the courage to tell her family she didn’t feel like talking about work and ask them to share something else with her instead.

“All right, ladies and gentlemen,” Dad said in the stern voice he used to address juries, “Elena doesn’t wish to discuss her work. She’s made that clear.”

More silence. Whatever would they talk about if work was off the table? Had anyone read a good book, or was there no time for that? Oliver shifted in his seat; Alexander shamelessly checked his email. Elena wanted to kick them both under the table like they used to do to each other when they were kids. Had either of her brothers done anything besides work since she’d last seen them at a cousin’s wedding five months ago?

“I heard there’s a trip to Barbados in the near future for you two,” Darcy said, catching Mom’s eye. Mom’s face softened, and Dad nodded in encouragement. Elena tried to radiate appreciation to Darcy for daring to bring up something new.

“That’s right,” Oliver said, patting his girlfriend’s slender arm. “Four days of fun in the sun for Mom and Dad. Trusting me and Alexander not to burn the firm down for ninety-six whole hours.”

Here we go, right back to work. Elena fought not to roll her eyes.

“I’m sure I’ll dip my toes in here and there,” Dad said, offering the understatement of a lifetime. On every family vacation Elena could remember, Dad had put in a full day’s work for a normal person. Reduced hours for a lawyer, to be fair. Mom had tended to work in the evenings after playing on the beach with Elena and her brothers. “And don’t worry. We’ll hand out Christmas checks tonight. Better early than late, since we’ll be gone.”

Her brothers gave Dad their biggest smiles. Elena did her best to smile too. Of course, she appreciated the money, which her parents dutifully handed out each Christmas, even if she would’ve preferred a less valuable but heartfelt gift. Thankfully, her job covered her bills, so after buying new art supplies and putting a little in savings, she usually ended up giving the rest away to a women’s art initiative.

“Speaking of beautiful beaches and gifts, that reminds me,” Dad said. Elena perked up, sitting straighter in her chair. “Thank you for the painting, Elena. It’s superb, and I’ve hung it in my office.”

“I’m happy you like it, Dad.” A bit of warmth crept back into Elena. Dad might be aghast at the prospect of painting for a living, but he did admire her art. Nothing confused her about her family more than the fact that they weren’t total ogres. They enjoyed her art, even if they couldn’t recognize the work she put into her paintings.

“Good job, E. You’ll have to make me one.” Alexander held up his wineglass and clinked it against hers.

See, they aren’t actually the worst. The topic soon circled back to trials, contracts, and briefs. No matter how much more she wanted from them, she tried to acknowledge that they did their best. With the possible exception of Oliver, who couldn’t give a compliment if his life depended on it. He didn’t know how lucky he was to have cheerful Darcy by his side.

Over aromatic, flavorful shrimp scampi, Elena observed Darcy and Oliver’s interactions. Darcy tended to look at him with adoration and laugh at the dull stories he told. For his part, he did worry about her comfort, asking if her steak was done correctly and giving her his jacket without her having to ask when he saw her shiver. Darcy must see more good in him than Elena could. She hoped her brother would treat Darcy well.

Now that the conversational heat was off her, loneliness set in. A longing for someone to sit beside her, to share a knowing glance with her when her family drove her nuts. Watching Oliver and Darcy together triggered it. Mom and Dad held hands between courses, their fingers clasped on the tabletop, a sweet gesture that made Elena’s sense of isolation increase. Sure, Alexander was alone tonight too, but not lonely. Her sister-in-law had avoided dinner, but Alexander placed a to-go order for a dessert to bring home to her. Dessert made Elena think of cr è me br ? l é e, of Lawrence’s surprise when she said she’d have to look elsewhere for it. She thought she might prefer to try his, even if it wasn’t perfect.

Perhaps next year there would be someone special beside her at dinner. Not someone with a work conflict—she could picture her father’s horror if she brought a business rival. Such a man had to exist, right? A guy with no baggage, who didn’t give her any reason to question her choices?

Her family failed to notice she didn’t say another word during dinner.

With a quick toss of his credit card, not pausing to look at the charges, Dad paid the bill. Elena joined in the chorus of thank-yous. Then she gave hugs goodbye, the longest one for her mom. Right before leaving the restaurant, Dad passed her a gold envelope to open later in her apartment. Alone.

That’s how she spent the remainder of the night. Alone. Half watching The Grinch in bed while scrolling Amazon for self-help books. She ended up using some of her Christmas money on a workbook about setting boundaries and a journal. Another merry Christmas indeed.