The Christmas Tree Farm

Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

K ira had slept with her face practically on top of her phone so when it started ringing the next morning she nearly jumped out of her skin.

‘No, no, noooo…’ she groaned, fumbling for the phone with her eyes still closed. She knocked over the empty wine bottle and it went careening across the floor.

Ugh, God, every one of last night’s bad decisions came tumbling back into her. Her conversation with Bennett, her conviction that it was better for him to leave. Finishing off the bottle of wine. She opened her eyes, blinking at the tree branches above her. Sleeping under the damn tree.

Her phone was still cheerfully ringing, and she managed to grab it.

‘Chloe,’ she croaked. ‘Six hours ahead!’

Her sister winced. ‘Oops! Sorry! I can’t seem to remember that.’

‘It’s okay.’

‘Kiki, where the hell are you?’

‘Under the Christmas tree.’

‘Uh… Are you okay?’

‘No.’

‘Do you need me to come home?’

Yes . ‘No.’

‘What’s going on? You’re freaking me out.’

‘How long did it take you to fall in love with Erik?’

‘Kiki, what does that have to do with anything?’

She sighed. Everything hurt. Her back from sleeping on the floor. Her face from sleeping on pine needles. Her pride. Her heart.

‘I just need to know.’

‘One day.’

Kira sat up, knocking low-hanging branches and rattling the ornaments. ‘One day?! That’s impossible.’

Her sister shrugged. She looked perfectly put together this morning. Mama would be proud. Kira attempted to flatten her bangs by raking her fingers through them. She was sure they were standing on end.

‘It was possible for us.’

‘Shit.’

‘Kira, what the hell is going on? Why do you look like you slept in a dumpster?’

‘Not a dumpster. I told you. Under the tree.’

Chloe stared at her, waiting for an explanation, but Kira didn’t really have one. She had ping-ponged from one bad decision to the next so many times that now she wasn’t sure which decisions were the wrong ones.

She didn’t know if she was in love with Bennett.

She didn’t know if she should have asked him to stay.

But she was pretty sure about one thing.

‘Hey, Chlo?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Do you want to invest in my business? I’m thinking of opening a garden center to turn things into a more year-round operation but there’s a lot I still need to do and one season of Christmas tree sales can only do so much––’

‘Yes!’ Chloe cut off her rambling explanation, her eyes bright with excitement. ‘Of course I do! Whatever you need, Kiki. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along!’

‘I’m going to pay you back. It would just be a loan.’

‘Of course, of course! This is so exciting!’

‘I’m going to send you a business plan.’

‘Wonderful.’

‘I’m going to do this for real.’

‘Of course you are.’ Chloe held her gaze through the screen, confident in her in ways Kira had never been of herself. She was going to do this. Maybe it wasn’t exactly what she’d imagined when she’d been doom-scrolling after Chloe left, but none of that was real anyway. How off the grid were those people when they were livestreaming everything they did? She would set up her little homestead her own way. And she would support herself. But that didn’t mean she had to do everything alone. Her sister wanted to help her, and Kira was finally ready to accept that help.

‘I wish you were here.’ She tried to swallow the tears gathering in her throat, but it had been a rough twelve hours. Too many epiphanies crammed into too short a time period.

‘Me, too.’ Chloe wiped the tears in her eyes. ‘But that’s why I called. Well, sort of. We were both busy yesterday, but I thought we could watch a movie together today. Just the two of us.’

Kira raked a hand across her face. ‘I love that idea. But I need a shower. Call you back in an hour?’

‘Perfect.’

‘Love you, Chlo.’

‘Love you, too. Now go freshen up! I can smell your breath from here.’

Kira stuck out her tongue before ending the call. She still felt like shit about the way she handled the whole Bennett thing, but at least everything else was looking up.

Or it would be, once she changed out of yesterday’s clothes and ran a brush through her hair.

* * *

‘Are you sure you have to leave early?’ Jeanie was nursing a cup of coffee at Logan’s kitchen table. The remnants of last night’s party were still littering the countertops even though it was late afternoon. No one else was home and it was just the two of them at the table.

‘Yeah, it’s time for me to get back.’

A llama? Alpaca? Wandered by the window. ‘Uh … your uh, animal is escaping.’

Jeanie glanced at the window. ‘Oh, that’s Harry Styles. He won’t go far.’

The creature came closer to the house, pressed its face up to the window and started munching on the screen. Jeanie remained nonplussed by the whole situation.

‘But Dream Harbor has a whole New Year’s Eve celebration,’ she said, ignoring the farm animal destroying the house. ‘There’s fireworks!’

Bennett made eye contact with Harry Styles, and he could have sworn the beast winked at him. He shook his head. He clearly needed to sleep, but first he needed to get the hell out of Dream Harbor. ‘I bet it’s great, but really, I just want to get back home.’

She cocked her head, studying him over her steaming cup. She tapped her engagement ring against the ceramic. Tap, tap, tap. What must it be like to have so much faith in someone, in your relationship, to declare to the entire world that you intend to be together forever?

‘And this rushing back home has nothing to do with a certain Christmas-tree-farm owner?’

‘Nope.’

Her dark brows rose. ‘Because the two of you looked awfully cozy last night.’

They had looked cozy. And felt cozy. So much so that Bennett actually thought that Kira might be cool with him staying in town for a while. So cozy that he actually considered uprooting his life again for another woman, because this one was worth it. This one was everything he wanted, and he knew it wasn’t coming from some misplaced desire for her approval. He just wanted to be with her. All very cozy until the drive home when Kira blew the whole thing apart.

‘We had an agreement. It was just a holiday fling. No one wants to be alone for the holidays.’

‘Hmm. And what about the rest of the year?’

‘Jeanie…’

‘I just want you to be happy! And it was nice having you close by. I liked it.’

He gave her a begrudging smile. ‘I liked it, too.’

‘Well, my apartment is here whenever you need it.’

‘You’re going to have to rent it out eventually.’

She shrugged. ‘I guess. But I’m happy to keep it open for you.’

He hated how tempting that offer was. He didn’t need Kira’s permission to stay in town. He could move here, stay above the café, and eventually get a place of his own. Jeanie would be thrilled. His parents would love it.

But then he’d be stuck here, a few miles from the most recent woman to reject him, in a tiny town that knew everyone’s business. Not great for quietly licking his wounds.

No, he had to get out of here.

He never should have followed Nicole to California, and he sure as hell couldn’t stay here if Kira didn’t want him to.

‘You should rent it out.’ He stood from the table and put his empty mug in the sink. Jeanie stood, too, coming to give him a hug.

‘Well, I am going to miss you,’ she said, giving him one more squeeze before pulling away. ‘Maybe I’ll come visit you sometime soon.’

‘That would be great.’ It would certainly be easier than him coming here ever again.

‘Text me when you get in.’

‘Will do.’

Jeanie walked him to his rental car where the dogs were already loaded into their crates for flying. He hated thinking of them stowed away in the cargo hold, but there weren’t a lot of other options unless he wanted to claim these three miscreants were emotional support animals. Although, at the moment, he could use the support.

‘Love you, Benny.’

‘Love you too, Jean Marie.’

He kissed the top of his sister’s head, got in his car and drove out of Dream Harbor before anything could convince him to stay.

* * *

The Pumpkin Spice Café was relatively empty two days after Christmas but Jeanie was behind the counter. Kira had never been to the apartment above it, so she didn’t know if there was some way to knock on Bennett’s door without coming through the main café area. She didn’t have much of a choice but to talk to Jeanie. Especially since she hadn’t texted him. The element of surprise seemed important.

She sure as hell was surprised she was here, but she’d woken up this morning and God, she’d missed him. So much, already, and it scared the shit out of her, but she had to tell him. In person. She had to tell him in person that she missed him, and he was perfect, too, and maybe … maybe they could figure something out. That maybe they shouldn’t toss this whole thing out just because he was going home soon.

It had all made perfect sense in the hazy light of the winter morning when she’d woken up cold and lonely, but now standing in this welcoming café she was starting to question herself.

‘Hi, Kira!’ Jeanie looked surprised to see her, which she supposed made sense. She hadn’t really made it a habit to come into town all that often during her hermit phase. Something she planned to remedy in the new year.

‘Hi!’ She glanced around at the space as she walked to the counter. It was adorable in here, with good lighting and colorful art on the walls. She could feel the will to make her own coffee every morning weakening. She could come here. She could chat with Jeanie and Annie and Hazel.

It would be nice.

‘What can I get you?’ Jeanie asked, her dark eyes never leaving Kira’s face.

‘Uh … actually, I was wondering if your brother was here?’

Surprise again crossed Jeanie’s features. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, Kira. He left yesterday.’

‘Yesterday?’ Yesterday?! Panic shot through her. No, no, nooo . ‘I… Uh … sorry, I just thought he was staying until the new year.’

Jeanie was still studying her, not unkindly, like she was looking for the answers that Bennett clearly hadn’t given her.

‘He decided to leave early. I guess he needed to get back.’

Kira forced herself to smile. To nod. ‘Right. Of course. That makes sense.’

Did it?! Did it make sense that he was just gone, just like that?!

‘Do you have his number?’ Jeanie asked. ‘You could give him a call.’

‘I…’ Kira was slowly backing away. She needed to get out of here so she could fall apart in private. ‘Yeah, I do. I’ll text him. Thanks.’

She waved, turned, and nearly ran out of the café.

‘You should tell him how you feel!’ Jeanie called after her, only making Kira walk faster.

How could she tell him how she felt now that he’d left? Bennett, I’ve decided you should stay , was a pretty absurd text to send to the man who’d already boarded a plane and hightailed it out of here.

She turned out of the café and strode down Main Street not at all sure of where she was headed. She’d parked directly in front of the café, but she just needed to walk. The air was cold and sharp this morning, but for once she didn’t mind it. It made her thoughts clearer.

He’d left just like she’d told him to. Why the hell was she surprised? This was Bennett, the most considerate man on earth. Of course, he’d done exactly what she told him to do.

And besides, he shouldn’t have to wait around for her to get her shit together. As much as she hated it, as much as it felt like she couldn’t breathe, like someone had carved another chunk out of her heart, she was proud of him.

Proud of him for leaving.

Proud of him for doing what was best for him. And that made her proud of herself. She actually cared about someone other than herself and the person that shared one hundred per cent of her DNA. Surely, that was growth. Unfortunately, no one really advertises that growth hurts like a son of a bitch.

Just say the word and I’ll be there in a heartbeat.

She didn’t know if he meant it, but she wasn’t ready to say the word just yet. She did need to figure her shit out first.

And then … maybe then she’d take Jeanie’s advice.