The Christmas You Crash (Going Rogue #2)

Chapter 11

eleven

LEXI

I’m so tired that not even brutal murders can keep my eyes open. A glance at Ryder tells me he’s in the same boat. His chin is pressed into his chest as his eyes blink slowly at the TV.

“Hey,” I whisper. “I’m going to head to bed. I’m beat. Thanks for watching this with me.”

The lazy grin Ryder offers me makes my heart thud heavy in my chest. “Course, Lex. Thanks again for making dinner. It was a good night.”

It was. After I stopped thinking about Ryder’s conversation with my dad and let myself enjoy it, it was a really nice night. I’m sure Ryder would rather be out doing something more active, but I’m a homebody. This was basically my idea of a perfect evening: books, good food, a crackling fire, and true crime. The company didn’t hurt, either.

“You going to stay up a little later? Otherwise, I’ll put the fire out.”

Ryder runs his hand through his messy, dark hair, and it makes him look adorably rumpled. “I’ll take care of it. I think I’m going to finish this episode. Unless you want me to wait and finish it with you tomorrow?”

Why does he have to be so sweet and thoughtful? It would be a lot easier to keep my distance if Ryder Hanson was a self-important asshole, like so many other hockey players I’ve known. All I can do is remind myself of my no hockey players rule. It’s there for a reason, and not just because of my dad. I can’t forget that. Even though I don’t think Ryder is anything like Garrett Trace.

“That’s okay. You can finish it if you want.” I twist my fingers together, unsure of how to end the night. Somehow, a simple good night doesn’t feel like enough, but what am I going to do? Hug him? I want to. He dragged me out of my funk. But that’s stupid. I’m overthinking this. Tucking my hair behind my ear, I offer him a sleepy smile. “Night, Ryder.”

“Good night, Lexi.”

My mind is a muddled mess as I go through my nighttime routine in the bathroom. Thoughts of my dad and Ryder and all the things I wish I could say to my father swirl around in my head with the same ferocity as the snow whipping around outside. Utilizing my yoga training, I slow my breathing, making it deliberate and deep. My reflection’s tension noticeably ebbs. This is fine. All of this is fine.

The lights flicker as a loud hum surges through the walls, and then I’m plunged into darkness.

“Shit,” I shriek as thick, oppressive black pushes in on me from all sides. I’m not afraid of the dark, per se, but who in the hell feels great about being shut in a small, windowless room without a speck of light? No one, I’d argue.

I need to get out of here. With my hands in front of my face, I make my way to where the door should be. Then I trip on the corner of the fuzzy rug in the middle of the floor and fall sideways, bashing my hip into the corner of the vanity. “Ouch! Oh my god, that hurt.”

Thundering footsteps draw close from outside the door. “Lexi? Lexi, are you okay?”

“Fine,” I lie. My hip is throbbing. No doubt, there’s already a nasty bruise forming. “Just tripped. I can’t see a damned thing in here.”

The knob jiggles. “Are you decent?”

“Yeah.”

The door swings open a moment later, and I’m blinded by the flashlight on Ryder’s phone. Shrinking away from it, like some deep-sea creature who’s never seen the light, I throw my hand in front of my eyes. “Ow.”

“Sorry,” he says with a chuckle. The light dips to the floor as Ryder takes a step into the bathroom. “Are you all right?” His attention drops to where I’m rubbing my hip, and his mouth pulls into a frown as he reaches for me.

I suck in a breath as Ryder’s long fingers trace gently over my hip. The sound seems to break him out of whatever trance-like state he’s in, and he shakes his head as if to clear it and pulls his hand away. Pink floods his cheeks as he meets my gaze.

“I’m okay. Just bumped into the corner of the vanity with my hip.”

“Ouch.” He winces sympathetically.

“Did the power go out in the whole cabin?” It’s a stupid question, and I know it, but I need to get the subject off my minor injury. Plus, I’m trying not to freak out. It’s freezing, we’re in the middle of nowhere, and there’s a full-fledged blizzard happening outside. Losing power isn’t good.

We leave the bathroom and move into the bedroom, so we’re not in total darkness.

Ryder nods. “Yeah. Sounded like a power surge, so my guess is, whatever transformer is feeding power to the cabin blew.”

Well, shit.

“Hopefully, they’ll get it fixed quickly.”

We both turn to stare out the wall of windows. The howling of the wind is even more pronounced now that we’ve been plunged into complete silence, not even the hum of electricity to break up the night. Snow whips through the air outside in a violent dance. It’s heavy and wet, and there’s over a foot of it by now. I know very well it won’t get fixed quickly. Not in this weather.

It’s going to be a long, cold night.

“Are you going to be warm enough in here? It’s already chilly with this many windows, and the heat just turned off.” Ryder’s attention moves from the wintry wonderland outside to my bed, which is piled with blankets.

Will they be enough to keep me warm? I guess they’ll have to be, because what other options are there? “I’ll be fine. We can always steal some blankets off the beds in the unused rooms if we need to. Or I could switch rooms, though I doubt the others will end up being all that much warmer.”

Ryder’s jaw ticks, but he just nods. “All right. I may sleep on the couch tonight and keep the fire going.”

It’s probably the smart thing to do. “Okay. Will you be comfortable?”

He shrugs. “It’s a pretty big couch. It’ll do for one night.” We stand there looking at one another for a few beats before he runs a hand through his dark waves. “Well, I’ll get out of your hair and let you get some sleep.”

“Thanks for coming to my rescue with your flashlight.” I grin, and he returns it.

“Any time, Lex. Night.”

“Night.” I can’t drag my eyes from Ryder’s big form as he retreats from my room. Even in sweats, I can see his body flexing and rippling with each step. When the door closes behind him, I let out a sigh, and a shiver ripples down my spine. Time to get into bed and burrow under the covers before all the heat leaches from the room.

My teeth won’t stop chattering. Glancing at my phone, I groan when it only reads two a.m. This is going to be the longest, coldest night of my life. The power’s been out for three hours. Just three hours. And, already, I’m freezing my tits off. Stupid wall of windows.

A soft knock on my door makes me jump.

“Lex?” Ryder’s raspy voice filters through the wood. “I can hear your teeth knocking together all the way in the living room. Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” I croak. Why not? It’s not like I’m sleeping.

Ryder looks adorably sleep-rumpled as he peeks his head around the door before pushing inside. His lips twitch like he’s fighting a grin when he sees me.

I’m cocooned in blankets. The only part of me that’s visible is the top half of my face. Everything below my nose is covered. I’m sure I look ridiculous, but it’s too cold for me to care.

“Hey. Why don’t you come sleep on the couch? It’s a hell of a lot warmer in front of the fire than it is in here. I feel like I’m getting frostbite just from standing on this floor.”

Sleep on the couch with Ryder? I mean, there’s plenty of room for both of us on the L-shaped sectional, so it’s not like we’d be touching, but still. I barely know him. Sleeping in the same room is…intimate. He watches me roll my bottom lip between my teeth but says nothing. And that’s what allows me to make my decision. Because Ryder’s not pushing me to do anything. He’s waiting for me to choose for myself. It’s the same gentle thoughtfulness he’s shown me since he realized I wasn’t breaking and entering, and I stopped accusing him of being a murderer.

I may not know Ryder Hanson all that well, but I know I’m safe with him.

Blowing out a deep breath, I struggle to untangle myself from my cocoon. He chuckles as he watches me, but when I’m finally free, I climb out of the bed with a shiver. “Okay, yeah. That’s probably a good idea.”

“Come on, then.” Ryder helps me gather up the pile of blankets and my pillow, then we tread silently down the dark hallway. He adds a few more logs to the fireplace while I arrange my blankets on the shorter side of the sectional. The movement, combined with the heat of the fire, finally helps my teeth stop chattering. It’s still way too cold to be called comfortable, but I won’t freeze to death.

“You good?” he asks after I’ve tucked the corners of the last blanket under the couch cushions. I don’t want any cold air sneaking under the edges.

“Yeah. I’m good.”

We both burrow under our blankets. Though the wind still howls outside, the cozy crackling of the fire drowns some of it out. Once we’re settled and my eyes are finally drooping, I let out a sigh.

“I’m glad you’re here,” I admit to Ryder with a whisper. “This would have been scary by myself.” And it would have been.

I’m used to being alone. Even grown to like it. But I miss my friends from college. I miss having people to lean on and confide in who aren’t on the other end of a phone. I told myself that I was looking forward to a quiet Christmas with no one else around, but now, I’m not so sure I wasn’t lying to avoid facing how lonely this week would be.

Ryder’s presence has been more comforting than I’d like to acknowledge. But with the power out and the snow piling up all around us? I can admit that his presence is likely the only thing that’s kept me from absolutely losing my shit.

“I’m glad too,” he answers. “For the company and that you had the foresight to bring groceries when I didn’t.”

I laugh at that. “Yeah. If I hadn’t, we might have had a Donner family Christmas.”

“Jesus,” he chuckles. “You and your murders.”

“You like it,” I tease, a yawn warping the words.

There’s a soft huff of laughter as Ryder shifts on the couch. “Yeah. I really do.”

We lapse into silence after that, and everything grows hazy around the edges. I’m barely clinging to consciousness when I hear Ryder’s soft words.

“Sweet dreams, Lexi.”

And maybe he has some kind of magic because I sleep better than I have in years.