The Christmas You Crash (Going Rogue #2)

Chapter 16

sixteen

LEXI

God, this is the best shower I’ve ever taken. It won’t last as long as I’d like, because I have to save some hot water for Ryder, but I’ve never enjoyed anything more. Well, except maybe the way Ryder’s body felt against mine. And his lips.

Gah. I’m so wound up from the last couple of days with him that my fingers flutter down to the apex of my thighs. I could probably come from just remembering the look on his face when he helped me ride his leg. But then I think about Ryder sitting in the living room down the hall, and I can’t do it. What if he hears me?

Maybe he’d barge in and help me finish?

The thought is ridiculous, but it’s enough. Lifting one foot, I balance it on the edge of the tub and drag my fingers through my slick folds. Have I ever been this horny? I hiss when my fingers slide over my clit before I press them to my pussy and begin to fuck myself.

I think about Ryder as the pads of my fingers graze along my inner walls. What would he feel like inside of me? Fingers coated in my arousal, I draw them back out and circle my sensitive bud of nerves. My stomach clenches, and the first hints of that euphoric tightening start in my core. This won’t take long at all.

In my mind, it’s not me circling my clit with ever-faster movements. It’s Ryder’s tongue. I picture him kneeling before me, his fingers digging into my ass as he draws me closer, his face buried between my thighs. My touches become more urgent as I imagine how he’d eat me. He’d be ravenous. Desperate for the taste of me. Feral in the way his tongue would plunge between my folds as he fucked me with his mouth.

A quiet whimper escapes my lips as the muscles in my body tighten and warmth floods my core. I have to press a hand against the shower wall to steady myself as my legs tremble. My fingers move, as if of their own accord. They circle my swollen clit, then plunge as deep into my pussy as I can manage. But it’s not enough. God, what I wouldn’t give to have Ryder’s fingers pushing inside me right now. Or better yet, his dick.

I groan. What is wrong with me? Ryder is off-limits. I silently chant the words as my fingers circle my clit faster and faster. I’m so close to coming. My skin feels tight, my stomach feels hollow. I’m warm and tingly and achy.

Ryder’s off-limits.

Ryder’s off-limits.

My fantasy switches from Ryder’s face between my thighs to his powerful hips. With my eyes closed to block out reality, I picture him pushing into me. That perfect, round ass of his flexing with every thrust. His muscular thighs barely straining to hold me up against the shower wall as he pounds into my core. I’ve woken with his dick pressed against my ass for the last two mornings, so I have a pretty good idea of how big it is. And it feels big. I bet he’d stretch me so good. Make me feel so full.

My whole body tightens as I whimper. I’m so close. I press my shoulder against the cool tile wall to free up my other hand. Desperate for release, I twist and pinch my peaked nipples as I rub my clit. My fingers are slippery with my arousal, and my body nearly crackles with electricity. I replay Ryder’s dirty words from when we were dry humping like teenagers outside.

That’s it, baby. Ride my leg. Make yourself feel good.

That’s my good girl. Take what you need.

Those sinful words rumble through my mind, pushing me over the edge. I gasp as my orgasm washes over me. It’s sharp and intense, and my knees wobble as it overtakes me. As my pussy tightens around nothing, I kick myself for pushing Ryder away last night. He could have been filling me right now. My core could be pulsing around his impressive cock, instead of being empty. Would it be a bad idea? The worst. But I’m starting to not care about any of that. We’re snowed in, for goodness’ sake. Steamy hookups don’t count when you’re snowed in, right?

I sag against the shower wall as I come down from the high of my orgasm.

I need to get my head on straight. I need to remember that I would never be Ryder’s priority. No matter how sweet he seems and how different I want him to be.

After I’m done washing my hair, scrubbing my body, and shaving everything just in case , I step out of the shower and shout to Ryder that he can take one now. My mind wanders as I blow dry my hair. I can’t help imagining what it would be like to share every Christmas Eve and Christmas with him. Despite how the week started, the blizzard, and the stupid power outage, being with Ryder has been so nice. More than nice. He makes me feel seen and listened to and…not alone. I wonder what his dad is doing this year that Ryder’s not spending the holiday with him? Maybe he lives out of state and couldn’t travel. From the stories Ryder’s told, they seem close. Not like me and my dad.

The thought of my father brings his conversation with Ryder to mind. Why doesn’t my dad give a crap about me? He hasn’t been that excited to talk or make plans with me since I was a little girl. I know I’m not all that sporty, and my dad and I don’t have much in common, but when has he ever tried to meet me where I’m at, rather than expecting me to love the things he loves?

It’s been that way for as long as I can remember. I’d be excited about a book I was reading, or a new toy Mom got me, and he’d give me one of those smiles that let me know he was humoring me and say something like that’s nice . When I was old enough to pursue hobbies and do extracurriculars, he could barely muster even the smallest level of fake interest. The day I found out I got my first lead role in a high school play, all he said was, Make sure your mother can pick you up from school if you can’t take the bus. I have work.

It’s been like this for so long that none of it surprises me, which means it shouldn’t bother me. But it does. And hearing the way he speaks to his team is somehow so much worse than simply imagining it.

But whatever. Screw my dad. He doesn’t care, and that’s why I’m here at the cabin and not spending the holiday with him and the guys on his team who he loves more than me.

Dressed in clean clothes with my hair dried and smooth, I swipe on a couple coats of mascara, some blush, and tinted lip gloss before heading out into the living room. Now that getting clean is an option and Ryder and I won’t have to hibernate, I want to look cute.

Because I’m a sucker, and I’m totally crushing on the hot hockey player.

Obviously, I’m a glutton for punishment.

I’m scrolling through my now-charged phone when Ryder strolls down the hallway, looking chipper and sexy as hell with his dark hair damp and kissing his forehead. He stops in front of me with his hands propped on his hips and a mischievous smile tugging at his lips.

“On a scale of one to jail time, how pissed would your dad be if there was one less tree on the property the next time he visits?”

My fingers stall on my phone screen, and I look up at him with a pinched brow. “What?”

He flops down next to me on the couch, grinning. “Let’s say we went out in the yard and happened to find a small enough pine tree to fit in the cabin. Then let’s say we took the axe out there and chopped it down so we could bring it inside. How pissed would Coach be?”

My mouth gapes open like a fish, which makes Ryder chuckle. “You want to cut down a tree?”

“Yeah, Lex. I was thinking about our conversation earlier. About our Christmas Eve traditions. And, well, we may not be able to make it to the tree lot because of the snow, but I’m pretty sure I can handle chopping one down for you.” His crystalline eyes sparkle like gems, and it makes my heart flutter wildly.

“You want to decorate a tree with me?”

His smile is soft as he tucks a rogue strand of blonde hair behind my ear. “Yeah, I really do. If you’re up for it.”

Up for it? Now that he’s suggested it, I can’t imagine a better way to spend the afternoon. And as for my dad? Who gives a crap if he’d be mad? Not that I’m going to tell Ryder that.

“I doubt my dad would even notice. Especially if we found one that wasn’t right up against the house.” That’s the truth. The property is big enough that he’ll probably never even come across the stump if we can find a tree small enough for the cabin.

Ryder’s smile grows. It’s contagious. “Then, what do you say, Oscar? Get bundled up and kill a tree with me?”

Rolling my eyes at the stupid nickname that is absolutely not growing on me, I shrug. “Can’t think of anything else I’d rather do.”

Ryder slaps his hands to his knees as he stands, his face boyish and adorable with excitement. “Hell, yeah. Make sure you wear a bunch of layers. This is going to be cold.”

I demand he use my hair dryer so his hair doesn’t freeze, then hurry to do as he says, even though the warmth spreading through my chest is bound to keep the worst of the chill away.