The Christmas You Crash (Going Rogue #2)

Chapter 20

twenty

LEXI

When I first met Ryder Hanson, I thought he was going to kill me. Now I know he will.

Death by orgasm. Impaled by dick. Croaked from the cock.

What a way to go.

“You’re so big,” I whisper as I draw my fingers up and down his silky, hard shaft. They don’t even touch. He’s too big. I mean, I don’t have super long piano-player fingers or anything, but they’re not tiny little doll hands, either. Ryder’s penis is just...girthy.

Ew .

Why does that word gross me out? It’s accurate , but still. Ew .

Thick. Ryder’s dick is thick. I wonder if it will fit in my mouth. Or my vagina. It might just split me right in half. My tombstone will read Here lies both halves of Lexi Cross. She died doing what she loved. Riding an impressive cock.

Worth it.

“Lexi? Lex?” Ryder’s amused voice pulls me out of my head. I give it a little shake and force my eyes to focus on his smiling face. His lips twitch before flashing straight, white teeth. I wonder if they’re all his? “Lexi, where did you go?”

“Huh?”

Ryder’s laughter vibrates through my body, making my nipples tighten painfully. “I said your name like five times, and you were off in your own little world.”

I give his dick another stroke. “Just imagining what my headstone will say when I die.”

Dark brown eyebrows climb to Ryder’s hairline as his lips continue to twitch. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Don’t worry about it,” I say, rolling my eyes. “Are you going to fuck me sometime tonight?”

The way he stares at me with massive, round eyes that crinkle more and more at the corners makes me grin. Then he buries his face in my neck and laughs. “Eager, baby?”

Hell, yes. “You have condoms, right? Please tell me you have condoms, because it’s not like one of us can run out to the gas station with all this snow on the roads.”

“Yeah, baby.” His crystalline blue eyes sparkle. “I have condoms. Pretty sure Griffin stuffed a box in my bag when Coach said he was banishing me. The guy had like three unopened boxes in his locker.”

I let out a little whine when he climbs off me. It’s impossible not to miss the heat and weight of him. He crosses to his duffel bag and crouches down to paw through it. Damn. Ryder’s ass is a thing of beauty. His thighs are thick and strong, and his butt is round and firm. I want to sink my teeth into it, but I’d be afraid to chip one. I enjoy the view while he finds his toiletry bag and pulls out a strip of condoms. Then my jaw drops.

“Are you planning on using all of those tonight?” I’m trying to sound sexy, but my voice comes out in an undignified squeak.

Ryder chuckles, and my eyes drink in the sight of him as he crosses the room. His long, thick dick bobs as he walks, jutting out proudly. I’m not ashamed to admit that I salivate at the sight of it.

“If all we have is a snow-pass, I’m sure as hell going to take advantage of it, Lexi.”

I swallow hard, my eyes riveted on him as he climbs back onto the bed. The way his muscles ripple is hypnotic. God, I can’t wait to have all that power focused on me. “Oh.”

Ryder’s hooded eyes scan my flushed, naked body. My arousal pools at my thighs. He licks his lips. “Hmm. Maybe I want to taste you again first.”

Squirming, I press my thighs together. “No,” I whine. “Please fuck me, Ryder. Please.”

“Well, when you ask so nicely...” Ryder comes to a halt with his knees beside my hip. With one fluid motion, he rips one of the little foil packets from the strip, tears it open, and sheaths himself in the condom. His strong hand grips his impressive length and gives it a few lazy pumps while he watches me shift on the bed. It doesn’t matter that he just made me come, I’m already aching again. I want him to fill me up and push me over the edge at least once more.

“Are you sure about this?” His voice is rough, but oh so soft. I’m pinned by his stare, flayed open by his blatant desire. Still, I know if I said no—if I changed my mind—he’d stop all of this without hesitation or complaint.

It makes me want him more.

“I’m sure,” I say while I spread my thighs. “So sure.”

The way he groans as I open myself to him has goose bumps erupting over my flesh. There’s so much need, so much desire in the sound. I’m not sure anyone has ever made me feel so wanted .

“I’m going to take it slow, at first.” He crawls forward, caging me in with his strong body. His gaze never leaves mine. “Gonna make you feel so good, Lex.”

When his cock drags along my dripping pussy, it’s like heaven. Ryder must agree, because he curses before rocking his hips to do it again. Every roll of his pelvis makes his shaft drag across my clit, and if he doesn’t stop soon, I’m going to come again from that alone.

“God, Ryder,” I moan. “If you don’t push your big cock into my pussy in the next five seconds, I’m going to scream.” I’m desperate. Empty. I need him. I’ve never been so eager to be fucked.

“So bossy, baby.” He smirks and drags his length across my folds again. “But don’t worry. I’ll give you what you need.”

I’m about to tell him I need him to stop talking and start fucking when the head of his dick pushes against my entrance. He’s big. Wider than anyone else I’ve been with. I don’t realize I’m doing it, but my body tenses.

“Relax, Lex,” Ryder croons, kissing my neck and the tops of my breasts. “Just relax. I promise to take it slow. Tell me to stop if it’s too much, okay? This is only enjoyable if you feel good.”

Well, now I’m swooning. Because I can tell he means every word. Realizing that is enough to help my body relax. My muscles loosen, and he pushes in another inch. I feel the ridges of his crown drag along my walls as he rocks back out a bit before slowly surging forward another inch. It’s such a heady sensation that I’m clawing at his back by the time he’s halfway in.

“Holy shit. Holy shit.”

“You okay, baby?” Ryder studies my face, checking in. All I can do is nod. It earns me a deep kiss, and then Ryder’s hips roll, and he thrusts himself all the way in. I gasp when he’s fully seated inside of me. Never have I felt so very full. “God, Lexi. You’re so tight.” He presses his forehead to mine. “You feel like heaven.”

I can’t even manage an intelligent response. All I’m capable of is little gasps and mewls as he moves. He starts with shallow thrusts, so I have a chance to adjust to his size. It’s maddening. When I no longer feel so full I might burst, I squirm beneath him.

“I’ve got you, Lexi,” he murmurs against my lips. Then he destroys my world before piecing it back together in his image.

Deep, powerful rolls of Ryder’s hips replace the torturously slow pace. It’s amazing, but when he slides one of his huge hands beneath my ass and adjusts the angle of my hips, I’m a goner. Not only does it make the thick head of his dick drag across that sensitive spot inside of me, but it allows his pubic bone and the root of his shaft to press against my clit with every thrust. Despite having already orgasmed once, my body tightens again. The deep heat of impending pleasure ignites in my lower belly and spreads through my body.

While Ryder has one hand supporting my ass, his other is braced beside my head. His fingers twist in the sheets as he fills me. Those beautiful blue eyes study my face and catalog every reaction. When I gasp at a particularly deep thrust, Ryder angles my hips a bit more before doing it again. This time, my gasp is accompanied by my eyes rolling back in my head, and a pleased sound rumbles through his chest.

“Yes, Lexi. Look at you. So beautiful when you let yourself go. So pretty filled with my cock.”

Scratches probably line Ryder’s back, but if he minds, he doesn’t let on. No, it seems to spur him on. Each new drag of my fingers over his shoulders and back makes him buck into me even harder, and soon, his grunts and ragged breaths join my gasps and moans.

“Ryder.” I pant his name, my breathing ragged. “Ryder, oh my god. Never stop fucking me.”

Nipping at my lips, he pistons his hips harder, faster. “Never. I’m going to fuck you so good and deep, Lexi. I’m going to ruin you, baby. You’ll dream about taking my cock deep inside you when this week is over and you’re at home in your bed. You’ll feel the phantom ache for me months from now.”

Oh, god. My body tightens as he rolls his hips and drags his pubic bone against my clit again and again, and I worry he’s right. I worry that I will always chase this feeling. In my dreams, in every relationship I have after him.

“I’m going to ruin you, Lexi. Gonna make you come so hard, you scream yourself hoarse. They’ll hear your pleasure all the way in town.” Ryder’s relentless rhythm slips as I gasp and arch into him. His hips pound against mine and he grinds himself against me. My stomach hollows out, my body tightens, and the warmth in my core ignites into an inferno. Wild, desperate sounds drip from my lips, and he drinks them down like wine. “That’s it, baby. You’re so close, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” I choke out. It’s all I can manage to say as my body coils tighter.

“Good. Me too, Lexi. Fuck, I’m so close. I need you to come for me, baby. Come for me right now.”

And, as if my body was made to obey him, I do. My head arches back and my spine bows off the bed as a strangled cry rips from my chest. That tightness of my body pulls taut as a bowstring before releasing and sending the most intense vibrations through me. I scream, and Ryder holds my hip tight as he pounds my pussy again and again before coming with a guttural moan. His cock pulses inside of me as my pussy flutters and squeezes him. We both still, breathing hard. His forehead presses to my chest as he thrusts lazily inside of me a few more times, dragging out our pleasure as long as he can.

“Shit.” Ryder sags, breathless and sweaty, on top of me, wrapping his arms around my body and pulling me tight to his chest. He presses slow, sweet kisses to my lips, my forehead, and my neck. “Lexi, that was...”

I giggle. “Yeah. Yeah, it was.”

We lay like that until he’s soft inside of me and the sweat on our bodies cools. Still, I don’t want to get up. I don’t want to move, afraid that if I do, this spell will break. I know this is a stolen moment. I know this won’t last. I made sure of that.

But right now? I let myself pretend there’s a future for Ryder and me. One with more of the best sex I’ve ever had. Relishing in the contentedness and safety that comes from being held in his strong, capable arms, I let myself pretend that I’m more important to him than hockey. That he chooses me.

I let myself pretend, even though it’s dangerous to my heart.

A soft brush of fingers across my cheekbone pulls me from my reverie. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to get rid of this condom and grab a washcloth to clean you up, okay?” Ryder presses a lingering kiss to my forehead, then, without waiting for my response, lets go of me and climbs out of the bed.

I miss his heat immediately.

When he pads back into the bedroom and gently drags the warm cloth over my skin, I think that’s going to be it. He’s gotten what he wanted, and he’ll tell me he’s tired and hint that I should go back to my room.

Except, he doesn’t. He tosses the washcloth into the bathroom, pulls back the covers, and drags me beneath them before wrapping his naked body around mine. With my head pillowed on his shoulder and my face pressed into his neck, Ryder slips one of his legs between mine. He shifts and adjusts us until we’re both comfortable and pulls the covers over us.

“This okay?” he asks quietly.

I take a moment to answer because my throat is so tight. “Perfect.”

He hums and kisses my forehead. “I agree. Happy Christmas Eve, Lexi. I had the best day.”

“Me too,” I whisper. “Happy Christmas Eve.”

It doesn’t take long for Ryder’s breathing to grow slow and even. But his arms never loosen around me. He holds me tight to his chest like he’s afraid I’ll leave. And despite how heavy my eyes are, despite how exhausted my body is, I stay awake for as long as I can manage. Because I want to commit this moment to memory. To etch it into my heart, in case I’m never lucky enough to be held like this again.

As sleep makes my thoughts grow fuzzy, I find myself wishing this thing with Ryder didn’t have to end. But I know where I stand. I’ll never come before hockey. Never have. Not even with my own dad. Not even when I was a kid. And if I can’t come first with the man who helped create me, I sure as hell won’t come first with a man I just met. No matter how sweet and perfect he seems.

I’m used to coming in second to hockey. But it’s made me ache. It’s hollowed me out more times than I’d like to admit. I can’t do it again. I won’t.

For once in my life, I want to come first. And that’s why this can never work.