The Christmas You Crash (Going Rogue #2)

Chapter 49

forty-nine

LEXI

I can’t believe any of that happened.

Throwing my stuff into my room, I pace, replaying every single moment of the confrontation with my dad. My chest hasn’t stopped aching. I probably have a red spot over my heart where I keep absently rubbing my skin.

After the I love you bombs were dropped in what may be the most romantic gesture anyone has ever made for me—I’m sure it’s not how either of us would have planned to say those three words for the first time, but hearing them in the face of my father’s scorn and the possibility that Ryder could lose his career? Pretty fucking romantic—Ryder announced that he would fly home on a commercial flight with me. Which set off another round of yelling and threats about breaching his contract and other bullshit, until I pulled Ryder into a hug and told him to go with the team. He’s going to pick me up on his way back from the arena, where he parked during the series.

He loves me .

Holy shit. He loves me. He’s risking his career for me. Which I hate. I don’t want him to lose his ability to play the game he adores. But to be someone’s priority? That’s a heady feeling. It’s surreal.

My phone rings, jolting me out of my thoughts. I brace myself before looking at the screen, because there are only a few people this is likely to be, and my dad is one of them.

Except, it’s not my dad. It’s my mom.

“Hello?” I’m confused about why she’s calling me, but I can’t deny the relief that floods my body when I hear her voice. Especially now that we’ve begun repairing our relationship.

“Lexi? Hey, sweetie. Did something happen with your father?” My mom’s tone is careful. She’s always gone out of her way not to negatively impact my relationship with him. Not that he’s ever deserved her consideration. Still, she knows how tense things are.

Sighing, I give up my pacing and flop down onto my bed. “Hey, Mom. Did he call you?”

“Yes.” The word is saturated with frustration. “He called and started shouting about how you made a scene in front of the team and disrespected him.” My mom huffs out a frustrated sound. “He was being a giant ass. I take it, he found out that you’re dating Ryder?”

“Ugh. Yes. Yes, he did.”

My mom is silent for a beat. “And how did Ryder react to your father’s outburst?” She doesn’t come right out and ask me if my boyfriend rose to the occasion or fell to meet her expectations, but I know that’s what she’s wondering.

“You should have seen him, Mom. He let Dad have it. Dad asked him if I was worth throwing away his career for, and Ryder said yes. Didn’t even hesitate. And a bunch of the guys on the team that I’ve become friends with stuck up for me too. It was horrible, but also kind of healing, you know?”

My mom hums. “Maybe I was too quick to judge that boy of yours. I just don’t want you to live my life, sweetheart.”

Oh, Mom.

“I know, Mom. Ryder told me he loves me. Right there in front of everyone. He’s not like Dad.” I suck in a breath as the true power of my feelings hits me. “I think he’s the one.”

“I’m glad I was wrong, sweetie. And I’m glad he stuck up for you. Don’t listen to your father. He’s a colossal ass.” I hear Jeff shout a Hear, hear in the background and laugh. It’s refreshing to hear her be honest about her feelings for my dad. I hope it means she’s healing.

“I won’t,” I promise as a faint knock echoes through the apartment. “Shoot, Ryder’s here. He’s picking me up so we can talk about everything. Can we do another family dinner soon? I’d like to get to know Jeff better. And I want you guys to get to know Ryder.”

“That would make both of us very happy.” My mom’s voice is thick with emotion.

“Us too,” I say. “I love you, Mom. I’m glad you have Jeff. Give him a hug for me, okay?”

“Of course, sweetie. I love you too. Talk soon?”

I nod until I realize she can’t see it. “Yeah, we’ll talk soon.”

We exchange one last goodbye, and I throw a few necessities into a bag and head for the door. Ryder’s got one arm braced on the frame when I throw it open. His dark hair sticks up at chaotic angles. It looks like he’s been running his hand through it for the entire trip back from Chicago. Those handsome features I’ve grown to love are set in a frown. Until he sees me.

“Lexi.” Faster than I can register, he wraps his arms around me and tangles one hand in the hair at the nape of my neck. I breathe in the scent of him while squeezing him right back. Ryder peppers kisses across my forehead, my nose, and my cheeks before taking my mouth in a kiss that is so full of emotion, it would knock me on my butt, if not for his arm wrapped around me.

“Hi,” I whisper when the kiss ends and I meet his gaze.

Ryder brushes a stray strand of blonde hair behind my ear. “Hi. Ready to go?”

I nod. Ready? I’ve been ready to jump his bones since he said those three little words. I can’t wait to get back to his place, lock ourselves in his room, and kiss every hard inch of his body. Luckily, I don’t have school until later in the afternoon tomorrow, and he doesn’t have practice until the evening, so we have plenty of time to enjoy one another.

Ryder grins, taking my hand and pulling me out of the apartment. He barely gives me time to lock up before he tows me toward the elevator. We share a few frantic kisses until we hit the ground floor, and then he’s dragging me again. Once we’re at his car, he leans over me as soon as I’m sitting to buckle my seat belt. I can’t stop my laughter.

“In a hurry?”

“Hell, yes.” He grins, kisses me on the nose, shuts the door, then runs around the car to his side. As soon as he folds his body inside, I say those three words that have been dancing on the tip of my tongue since he arrived at my apartment.

“I love you, Ryder.”

Those icy-blue eyes flutter closed as a smile overtakes his face. He grabs my hand and squeezes before meeting my gaze. “I love you, Alexis. And when we get to my place, I’m going to show you just how much.”

My lower belly flips and hollows out. I want nothing more.

We’re both quiet as Ryder navigates through the city. There’s so much to say, but where do we start?

“Did my dad say anything else to you?” I finally ask, breaking the silence. “Are you in trouble?”

“He can’t get me in trouble for dating,” Ryder says.

“No,” I say, squeezing his hand. “But he can make your life miserable. Find other reasons to bench you.”

“You don’t need to worry about that. My job is my responsibility. I knew what I was doing this morning. And I don’t regret it. So, you’d better not be worrying I am.”

“I’m not worried about that at all,” I reply. I grin so wide my cheeks hurt. “How could you possibly regret claiming all this?” I motion to my leggings, oversized hoodie, and messy hair, which I’d thrown into a chaotic bun on the top of my head.

“Feeling confident, huh?” He chuckles, squeezing my hand.

“Yep.”

“Good.” He tries to hold back his smile. “You should.”

We’re at his apartment building in no time at all, and the moment we stumble into his place, we make a beeline for his room. As soon as the door closes, we’re a tangle of limbs and lips and tongues.

Ryder wastes no time tugging off my hoodie. I’m only wearing a lace bralette beneath it, and my nipples pebble in the cool air. Or maybe they tighten because he looks at me like I’m dessert. Dessert he’s determined to savor.

“Damn, Alexis. You are so beautiful.” His eyes make a slow sweep of my body, and the heat in them is undeniable. So is the love.

“Thank you,” I murmur. My cheeks grow warm, and I fight the inclination to look away. “Now it’s your turn.”

With a grin, Ryder tugs off his shirt and pants. It’s my turn to ogle.

Ryder’s body will never cease to amaze me. And make me drool. He’s muscular, tall, and I love the way he makes me feel small and protected. My primal brain really enjoys it. Though, I hate seeing bruising on his ribs.

“What happened?” I ask, trailing my fingers gently over his body.

“Took a couple rough hits during the game yesterday. It’s fine, baby. Hazard of the job.” His thumbs drag across my cheek. The look in his eyes makes me wonder when someone last worried about Ryder? I’m sure his friends and the Rogues staff care, but before me, did he have anyone to kiss his bruises or bite their fingernails at games when the play gets rough?

“I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to that. I hate seeing you hurt.” I bend down and kiss each bruise, careful not to hurt him further.

Head falling back with a sigh, Ryder tangles his hands in my hair. “I like that you worry. You don’t need to, though.”

“Yeah, you say that, but you were just out for almost a month with an injury.”

Ryder gently tugs on my hair, silently asking me to stand. As soon as I do, he kisses me again and again, his lips curling into a smile as they meet mine. Then he bends down and sweeps me up into his arms. In three steps, we’re at the bed. He lays me down and crawls over me. “I’m always careful, Lexi. But I’ll be more careful now. I don’t want to worry you.”

“You say the sweetest things.”

“Hmm.” He kisses the column of my throat as his fingers dance and play over my collarbones. “Not nearly as sweet as the way you taste.”

And then he positions himself with his shoulders between my thighs, grins up at me, and licks a slow line through my pussy.

“Oh, god.” One swipe of his tongue, and I’m a goner. “I need you, Ryder.”

“I know, Oscar. I’m going to take care of you.” That talented tongue of his circles my clit, and I nearly fly off the bed. He chuckles against my sex. The vibrations are better than any of my toys at home.

Ryder feasts on me until I’m a writhing, whining mess. My arousal covers his chin, and the sounds of him licking and sucking me are obscene.

“I’m close, Ryder. I’m so close. Please.”

And then the bastard stops.

“No,” I whine. I push my hips up, desperate for more friction. “I need to come. Please, Ryder. Please let me come.”

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m going to let you come. But I need to be inside of you when you do.” Wiping the back of his mouth with his hand, Ryder pushes up off the bed.

“Where the hell are you going?”

He smirks. “Just grabbing a condom, my impatient love.”

“Wait.” I suck my bottom lip between my teeth. I’ve never been with a guy without a condom. I have an IUD, so I’m not worried about getting pregnant, but I’ve never trusted any man enough to go without before. But Ryder? I trust Ryder implicitly. I know he’ll do whatever he has to in order to protect me. He proved that this morning. So, I take a deep breath and meet his eyes. “I’m on birth control.”

Still. Ryder’s body is so still as he stares back at me. “What are you saying, Alexis? I need your words.”

“I… You don’t need to wear a condom if you don’t want to. I’m clear.”

“I’m clear too, but it’s not just a question of what I want. What do you want?” His fingers skim the insides of my thighs. It muddles my brain for a moment. But just for a moment.

“I want to feel you inside of me. All of you. No barriers.” An impish grin tugs at my lips. “Fill me with your cum, Ryder.”

“Christ,” he hisses. But that’s all it takes for Ryder’s calm stillness to break. In seconds, I’m pinned beneath his powerful body. Those competent hands of his explore my sides, my ass, my breasts as he claims my mouth with his. There is so much emotion in his kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I say on a gasp as one of his hands finds its way between us and he grinds the heel of his palm against my clit. I’m so wet, his hand glides easily over my sex. In no time at all, I’m right back at the edge. “Need you.”

“Don’t worry, Lexi. I’ll never leave you hanging.” The promise expands between us. It’s about so much more than sex and orgasms.

When Ryder lines the silky head of his cock up to my entrance, we watch each other. His gaze only leaves my eyes to drop to my lips when I open my mouth in a silent cry the moment he pushes inside me. It’s so good. To feel him bare, his cock coated in my arousal as he claims my body, is the most exquisite sensation. And if his pained groan is anything to go by, I’m not the only one who thinks so.

“God, baby. You feel so good.” Ryder presses his forehead into the crook of my neck as his hips undulate and flex. “You feel like home.”

Home . I haven’t felt at home in so long. Maybe because I’ve been thinking of home as this nebulous concept that centered around a house and belongings and all the things I thought made my childhood house feel safe. But home isn’t a place. Home is the person who would risk everything for you. Home is the shoulder you rest your head on when life becomes too much.

Home is Ryder Hanson.

A tear slips down my cheek, and Ryder jerks back, his eyes wide and worried.

“Lexi? What’s wrong? Am I hurting you?” He tries to pull out of me, but I trap him with my legs.

“You’re not hurting me. And nothing’s wrong. These are happy tears, dummy. Because you feel like home to me too.”

The look of worry on Ryder’s face melts into a smile so devastating I forget to breathe. He slants his mouth over mine and presses into me again. His movements grow faster and our kisses become more frantic.

“Ryder.” His name is a plea. A plea for more. A plea for everything.

And he gives it to me.

We both breathe heavily as Ryder snaps his hips into mine harder, faster. Sweat drips down his face and beads across my chest. The sounds of our lovemaking fill his bedroom. It’s a rhythmic, primal song. Our gasps are the chorus. Skin slapping against skin forms the beat. Each I love you we utter makes up the verses.

Every cell in my body lights up. Pressure builds and my stomach hollows out. I’ve never felt this kind of anticipation. It’s like I’m a bomb ready to detonate. “Ryder, I’m so close. Please.”

The man I’m in love with stares at me like I’m everything. Sliding a hand between us, he presses on my swollen clit. “Come for me, Alexis. Come all over my cock as I fill you up.”

His dirty words light the fuse, and I finally combust.

Screaming his name, I cling to Ryder as his movements grow erratic and jerky. His hips slam into me. I feel him grow even harder, and then he comes with a roar. His dick jerks and spills inside of me. My pussy clamps around him in pulsing waves as he slows. But he doesn’t stop moving. Not until he’s drawn every ounce of pleasure out of my body and I’m boneless and panting beneath him.

“That was…” He rests his forehead against mine.

“The best ever?” I supply. My voice is hoarse from all the gasping and crying out.

Ryder kisses me reverently. “Yeah. Exactly that. Best ever. I love you, Alexis Cross.”

“Not as much as I love you, Ryder Hanson.”

We trade kisses and soft murmurs of love until I squirm as his seed drips down my inner thighs. It tickles.

With a chuckle, Ryder slowly pulls out and gives me one more kiss. “Let’s get you cleaned up and fed. You’re going to need your strength tonight.”

I can’t wait.