The Christmas You Crash (Going Rogue #2)

Chapter 53

fifty-three

LEXI

My mom calls me while I’m sitting with the girls in the family room.

“Hey, Mom.”

“Oh, honey. I saw what happened. Are you okay?” She sounds sad and furious.

Not really.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Your father is an ass. I can’t believe he said any of that. I swear, I’m going to use my alimony to take a hit out on that man.” She’s silent for a beat. “I should have divorced him sooner. I should have protected you from his bullshit better. I’m so sorry, honey.”

“Mom.” I love her for everything she’s saying, but my dad’s behavior isn’t her fault. And she did protect me from his negligence as best she could. She always showed up for me. She always cheered me on. Even if they’d divorced when I was a kid, I still would have searched the crowd for him and been disappointed when he didn’t show. “This isn’t on you. You’re a great mom and you always have been. I’m sorry for the times I put his absences on you or took my anger out on you.”

“It’s okay. I always understood.” She pauses, and I hear Jeff say something I can’t make out. My mom hums. “Are you watching the press conference right now?”

“No,” I admit. “I’m in the family room with my friends. Why?”

“Jeff tells me that boy of yours is doing a good job. He’s defending you without giving away any personal information.” The hum of the television grows louder in the background.

It’s strange to hear Ryder’s voice coming through. I can’t make out the words, and I’m tempted to ask what he’s saying, but I’ll wait for him to tell me. I’m emotionally drained, and all I want to do is get off the phone.

“I think I was wrong about that boy. I can tell he really loves you, Alexis. I’m glad you have each other, and I’m looking forward to getting to know him better.”

She can’t know how much I needed to hear those words. I want her to grow to love Ryder. He doesn’t have a mom and hasn’t for a long time. Although mine will never replace the woman Ryder lost at such a young age, it would kill me if she always held herself at arm’s length.

“Yeah, Mom. I think you were.”

“Well, I’m glad for it. Will you two come for dinner soon? Maybe the next weekend Ryder doesn’t have a game? I know you’re with your friends and probably don’t want to talk about things with your father right now. We can talk at dinner?” She sounds so hopeful, my heart does a little squeeze.

“I’m sure we can do that.”

“Good. Are you sure you’re all right? You can talk to me. Cry, scream, call your dad a miserable bastard. I’m always here for you.”

“I know, Mom. I’m just… I think I’m still in shock, you know? Right now, I just need to shut my brain down and be with Ryder.”

“I don’t blame you. I’ll let you go, but call me as soon as you’re up for it, okay, sweetie?”

My eyes pool with tears. This time, they’re happy ones. Mostly. “Yeah, Mom. I will.”

“I love you, Alexis.”

“Love you too, Mom.”

Isla and Mira watch me as I hang up the phone and shove it in my pocket. But not before silencing it. I’m sure it’s about to blow up, and I know Rach will want to talk to me about everything, but I’m not in the mood. I need some time to decompress. For all of this to scab over a bit so I’m not poking at an open wound.

“We’re really sorry this happened,” Mira says, resting her hand on mine. “This didn’t turn out to be the fun game we hoped it would be. I feel like this is our fault for pushing you to come.”

“You didn’t,” I say with a shake of my head. “I wanted to come. And, honestly, this was a long time coming. I knew my dad didn’t really love me, but I was holding on to this stupid hope, you know? Now I can move on.”

I’m done with my dad. I’ve given him so many chances. He’s shown me who he is, and it’s time I believe him. The ache in my chest is intense, but there’s also this underlying relief. I don’t have to put myself out there anymore, only to be rejected again and again and again. My conscience is clear. I doubt my dad can say the same.

Then again, I’m not sure he has one to begin with.

Footsteps sound in the hall outside of the family room, and the door opens to reveal Ryder and the rest of the guys who participated in the post-game press conference. He doesn’t say a word, just strides across the room and pulls me into a crushing hug.

“Baby. Hey. How’re you doing?”

“Better now that you’re here.”

“Fuck. I hated having to leave you.” Ryder presses a kiss to my temple. “What do you want to do now? Are you up for going to Maddox’s house, or do you need to go home? Tell me what you need, Lexi.”

I love that he keeps checking in with me. I love him. “Let’s go. It’ll help distract me.”

“We can definitely be distracting,” Griffin agrees with a waggle of his eyebrows. Mira snorts.

“All right, then. Let’s roll.”

We’re an hour into our night and lots of food has been eaten, wine has been drunk, and the ice cream is about to come out. I’m still shattered by everything my dad said, but being here with Ryder and our friends soothes that ache. For the first time since moving back from Chicago, I truly feel like I’m not alone. The man who loves me has his arm wrapped around me, the women I can’t wait to get to know better are giggling about something Griffin said, and the guys go out of their way to include me in their conversations and easy banter.

It’s nice. Really nice.

Isla has just taken ice cream orders when Ryder’s phone rings. I can feel it vibrating in his pocket.

“Whoever it is can call back,” he tells me when he catches me looking. The vibrating cuts off, only to start up again immediately. Ryder frowns but ignores it. When the phone rings for the third time, he sighs and digs it out of his pocket. An unfamiliar name flashes across the screen.

“Shit,” he says, a frown marring his forehead. “It’s my agent. I should probably take this.”

The room falls silent as Ryder accepts the call.

“Hey, John.”

Knots twist my stomach so brutally that I worry I may be sick. I watch every expression that flits across Ryder’s face. I’m not the only one. He’s got the full attention of the room.

“Sure. Yes, I understand. No, that won’t be necessary. Right. Yep. Sounds good.” Ryder runs his hand through his hair but flashes me a reassuring smile when he notices me staring at him and chewing on my lower lip so hard I’m probably drawing blood. “Okay. Yeah, I’ll be there. Thanks, John. Talk to you soon.”

The air is so thick with tension, you could almost choke on it. Ryder hangs up the phone, blows out a stuttering breath between closed lips, and looks at the guys.

“The bigwigs want to talk to me about what happened tonight. You guys’ll probably get similar calls from your agents. Sounds like they’re opening up some kind of inquiry into Coach’s behavior. Apparently, public reaction has been swift and almost universal.” Ryder turns to look at me. “Everyone wants him fired. Especially the female fans. The hashtag TeamAlexis is trending. You’ve already got fan sites.”

Shocked, all I can manage is a watery laugh. Fan sites? That’s ridiculous. I didn’t do anything. I’m not some celebrity or hero.

“We also have a ship name, I guess? It’s pretty terrible. Rylexis.” Ryder chuckles.

“Ooooh,” Griffin claps his hands gleefully. “Rylexis. I love it.” He pulls out his phone and begins typing away. Not a minute later, he’s laughing hysterically. “Oh my god, they’re already making AI mashups of your faces to see what your babies would look like. For the record, they’re terrifying. Most of them look like that horrible CGI baby in the Twilight movies.”

My watery laugh turns into a full-blown belly laugh. “No, they are not.” Where would they even find a picture of me? My socials are all set to private. Though, I guess they could have pulled my profile picture and used that.

Griffin holds his phone out for us to see. His eyes crinkle with pent-up laughter.

“Holy shit,” Logan says. “That’s just not right.”

Maddox physically recoils. “I’m not sure you two should procreate. Ow!”

Isla smacks Maddox upside the head. “That’s not how their kids would really look. Don’t be an idiot.”

“That one has six fingers on one hand,” Sebastian remarks.

“Okay, okay. Enough with the AI babies.” Ryder chuckles. “Anyway, they want to meet with us tomorrow.”

“Does that mean your job is safe?” I’m afraid to even ask. If he loses his spot on the team because of me, I’ll never forgive myself.

Strong arms wrap around me and squeeze. “I’m not worried. Not with everything he said being caught on camera. My guess is they’ll fire him to save face. Which isn’t great for the team this far into the season, but then again, maybe we’ll all play better without his toxic bullshit.”

“We’ll be fine no matter what happens,” Sebastian says confidently. “We’re a solid team. And we’ve got Coach Fry. He’s good at what he does. Good enough to take over, I think.” The goalie’s eyes land on me. “And Cross deserves to be fired after what he said and how he acted.”

I accept the words for what they are. Support. These guys could so easily hate me for throwing their season into potential chaos. But they don’t. They don’t blame me at all. They’re in my corner. In Ryder’s corner. It’s reassuring because public opinion might be in my favor right now, but if my dad gets fired and the team struggles because of it? That favor could quickly turn to hate. And the internet is a scary place sometimes. Especially for women involved with a sports star.

“Okay!” Mira claps her hands to get everyone’s attention. “We can worry about what the big shots say tomorrow. Tonight, I say we binge on ice cream and look at all the scary baby monstrosities. We can even make our own. There are websites for that, right?”

I groan. “As long as no one nicknames our imaginary baby after a cryptid.”