The Christmas You Crash (Going Rogue #2)

Chapter 55

fifty-five

LEXI

“You okay, Lexi?” Mira flops down next to me on Maddox’s couch. She hands me a wineglass, which I accept gratefully. Isla takes a seat on my other side. The guys are gathered around the kitchen island, talking, drinking beers, and trying not to stress over the future of their team. Ryder looks over at me every few seconds. Always checking to make sure I’m okay. Just like my new friends.

They’re all concerned about me and Ryder. But mostly me. It’s surreal to have so many people that care after years of it just being me and my mom, then me, Rachel, and Adam.

“I’m okay,” I tell Mira. And I mostly mean it. I’m still stressed as hell and worried about what the fans will say if my dad loses his job today, but Ryder and I are going to look at some apartments next week, and he’s been amazing. So, yeah, I’m okay. Or I will be.

“Whatever happens, we all have your back,” Isla reassures me. “The guys already have a plan for a press conference if needed. They won’t let anyone blame you if your dad gets fired.”

“I hope he does,” Mira mutters. “That bastard deserves to lose his job.”

A grin curls the corners of my lips. Yeah. I’ll be okay.

The low-level hum of sports recaps and speculation gives way to music and the flash of the Rogues’ logo. I freeze in my seat. All the guys move into the living room, abandoning the kitchen and spreading out across the couch and chairs. When Isla moves to perch on Maddox’s lap, Ryder takes her place and wraps his arms around me.

“Whatever happens, I’ve got you.”

I offer him a tremulous smile. “I know.”

Sportscasters fill the screen. Four of them, sitting behind a studio desk. They begin to talk about the press conference that’s about to take place, give a rundown of how we got here, and make their speculations. When footage of my dad’s outburst and my escape flash across the massive screen, I flinch. Ryder’s right there to soothe me.

“I hate that everyone saw that,” I murmur.

“I know. I do too.” Ryder squeezes me in his arms. “I do too.”

“Chuck LeFevre is live in Minneapolis, where the Rogues are holding a press conference to reveal the future of Head Coach, Arthur Cross. Chuck, what’s the mood like there in the Twin Cities?”

The camera cuts to a middle-aged man with dark hair and a navy-blue suit. He taps his ear, then nods once at the camera.

“Yeah, Eddie, the atmosphere here is tense. We all saw the video of Cross blowing up at his defenseman, Ryder Hanson. The footage was shocking enough on its own, but when we learned he was speaking about his own daughter, it took the confrontation to a whole new level.

“We’re unsure how long Hanson has been dating Cross’s daughter, but it seems pretty serious, given Hanson’s replies in the post-game press conference. Public outcry against the coach was swift, with fan pages dedicated to Hanson and Alexis Cross popping up overnight.”

“Oh, god.” I cover my face with my hands when they show a photo of me. “This is so weird.”

“You get used to it,” Sebastian reassures me. “Sort of.”

“And can you tell us what the local fans think about all of this?” one sportscaster asks Chuck.

“Well, David, the vast majority I’ve spoken to believe Cross was completely out of line and have expressed doubts that he’s capable of bringing this team all the way to the Cup. Others are worried that a change in the coaching staff will ruin that chance altogether. It’s hard to say where public opinion will fall when all is said and done.”

“They’re going to hate me,” I groan. “I’ll never be able to leave the house alone again.”

Ryder chuckles. “I thought you liked Tom?”

“Tom’s nice and all,” I say, “but I’d like to go back to my classes in person, and he sticks out like a giant, suited, sore thumb. Especially in my morning yoga class.”

Isla giggles. “He’s not very discreet, is he?”

“Nope.”

“Now, Chuck, can you tell me if—Wait, we’re just getting word that the Rogues’ management has arrived. We’re going live to Minneapolis where a decision has been made about the future of Head Coach Arthur Cross.”

My stomach flips and rolls and my hands shake. Ryder pulls me onto his lap and holds me tightly.

“I’ve got you, baby,” he whispers in my ear. “You and me. No matter what. I’ve got you.”

God, I love him.

The room falls silent. Five massive men lean forward, their eyes glued to the screen. This isn’t just about me. Whatever the outcome of this announcement, it will affect them too.

“Good afternoon,” a representative for the team says into the microphone. “We all know why we’re here, so I won’t drag this out. Last week, Head Coach Cross was in an altercation with one of our players, Ryder Hanson. That altercation expanded to involve several of our first-line players, and a good portion of it was caught on camera. After reviewing that footage, as well as statements from the players and witnesses, we have concluded that Coach Cross was the one who instigated the argument.”

My stomach twists.

“Furthermore, we were appalled by the sentiments expressed by Coach Cross toward his own daughter and Hanson. The language and attitudes used by Cross are not reflections of the values held by the Rogues’ organization. We would like to extend our sincerest apologies to Alexis Cross and Ryder Hanson. We have decided that allowing Arthur Cross to continue in his position as the head coach of the Rogues would create a hostile environment, which would not be conducive to a winning season and a unified team. It is with those considerations in mind that we have decided to sever our relationship with Arthur Cross, effective immediately.”

My heart skips a beat. I gasp, and the rest of the room breaks out in quiet murmurs.

“We know this announcement will worry some of you, as the team has been playing hard and has a real shot at going all the way this year, but we want to assure you we are doing everything in our power to ensure that doesn’t change. Assistant Coach Mike Fry will step into the role of interim Head Coach. Mike has been with us for years and is a vital part of the current team’s success.

“At the end of the season, we will decide on future steps. For now, we ask that you remain respectful of the parties involved. This decision was made entirely by the team’s owners and management, and neither Alexis Cross nor Ryder Hanson were consulted in any way, outside of making witness statements. We have a great team this year, and we are grateful for your continued support. I fully believe these boys will go all the way.”

The Rogues’ representative concludes his remarks and opens the floor to questions, but none of us listen. We’re all too busy processing what just happened.

My dad was fired. He’s no longer the Rogues’ head coach.

It’s done.

The guys talk about Coach Fry and speculate about who they’ll call up to replace him as assistant coach. They don’t seem all that worried about losing their head coach in the middle of the season. But I am. I think I’ll delete all my social media for a while. I don’t know if I can handle the potential backlash.

“Breathe, Oscar. Everything is going to be okay. This is a good thing. People will see that.”

Will they?

“He’s right, Hot Cross Buns,” Griffin says. Mira whacks him upside the head. “Ow! That’s her nickname, Jesus. Lay off me, woman.”

Isla giggles.

Griffin rubs the back of his head. “As I was saying before my roomie assaulted me, you don’t need to worry. Fry is good. Really good. Hell, I think he’s a better offensive coach than your dad. We won’t give the fans reason to blame you for anything.”

“That’s right,” Logan assures me. “We’ll be too busy winning for them to be mad.”

“Thanks, guys,” I say. My heart is full.

“We’re here for both of you,” Sebastian adds.

Ryder grins. “Along those lines, how do you guys feel about helping move shit?”

“What do you mean, move shit?” Maddox leans forward, one eyebrow raised.

“I mean, I know a great way you guys can be here for Lexi and me. We’re getting a place together, so we could use some help moving.”

“Oh my god, are you serious?” Isla claps her hands, bouncing on Maddox’s lap. The big guy groans but smiles.

I nod. “We’re looking at places this week.”

“That’s really great, you two,” Sebastian says. His smile is warm, and I know he means it. “Of course, we’ll help.”

Logan nods. “That’s what family does.”

Family .

Yeah. That’s exactly what we are now.

People don’t hate me as much as I feared they would. Some of them do, don’t get me wrong—the internet is a cesspool of trolls and angry men—but overall, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the notes of support I’ve received. The media circus still hasn’t died all the way down, but it’s significantly less intense than it was right after my dad said those horrible things to me at the game.

I even went back to school in person yesterday. Granted, Tom was with me, and I got more than my fair share of curious looks, whispers, and not-so-subtly taken photographs, but it was fine. I made it through. And Tom didn’t even have to beat one person up.

“You almost ready, Oscar?” Ryder sidles up to my back and wraps his arms around my waist as I finish putting on my mascara. “We don’t want to be late.”

I give myself one last look in the mirror. I don’t know why I’m so nervous. It’s just dinner with my mom and Jeff. But Ryder and I found an apartment today. One that we love. And it’s really close to Maddox and Isla’s place. It’s not as big and fancy, but it’s large enough that it will hold all our friends. I’m already planning the first dinner party.

So, tonight, I’m telling my mom that Ryder and I are moving in together. I guess I’m nervous she won’t approve. It won’t change my mind, but I want her to be excited for me. For my sake and for Ryder’s.

“Okay,” I say on an exhalation. “I’m ready. Let’s go.”

He holds my hand the whole drive, and we make plans for our apartment. Neither of us really has much—most of the furniture in my apartment belongs to my roommate, Sarah, and most of the stuff in his belongs to his roommate, Aaron. Of course, I worry about how I’ll pay for all of it, but Ryder won’t hear it. He tells me he makes more than enough money for the both of us, and all he wants me to worry about paying for is my schooling. And the only reason he’s not paying for that is because I refused. I won’t take advantage of him. I don’t love him for his money or his rising fame, and I never want him to think I do.

“We’re here,” Ryder says as he pulls into my mom’s driveway. He doesn’t let go of my hand or make any move to get out of the car. Just stares at the front door like he’s worried it’s going to bite him.

Running my thumb over his, I ignore my own worries and try to assuage his. “I’ve got you.” I echo the words he so often says back to him. “My mom’s a fan of yours now. They’re going to be excited for us.”

Ice-blue eyes swing my way. There’s a furrow between them. “You sure?”

“Completely. And even if they aren’t, it wouldn’t make me change my mind about you. I love you, Handsome. We’re going to live together, and it’s going to be great. We’ll pick out furniture, hang so many photos on the wall, and make messes in the kitchen.

“I’ll make you bougie grilled cheese when it’s cold or homemade chicken noodle soup when you’re sick. You’ll carry me to bed when I’m too tired to drag my ass there myself. You’ll leave the toilet seat up, and we’ll argue about it. I’ll leave too much makeup all over the bathroom vanity, and it’ll drive you nuts.

“We’ll fall asleep in each other’s arms and wake up tangled together in the sheets. It’ll be perfect and hard and wonderful. And I’m going to love every minute of it.”

Emotion pools in Ryder’s eyes. He blinks at me a few times, his mouth opening and closing. But no words come out. Instead, he wraps his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me in for a kiss that melts my panties and sets fire to my heart. His tongue sweeps across my lips and dances with mine. He kisses me like I’m everything.

When he pulls away, I’m panting. “I love you, Alexis Genevieve Cross. So fucking much, I feel like my heart might explode.”

“I love you too, Ryder.” Movement out of the corner of my eye draws my attention. My mom leans in the doorway to her house, a wide smile on her face. Jeff peeks at us from behind her. I giggle. “We have an audience.”

It takes everything Ryder has to drop his hand from the back of my neck and peel himself away from me. “Come on, then. Let’s go have dinner with your family.”

We climb out of the car, and Ryder links his fingers through mine. The contact grounds me. Ryder grounds me.

“Hey, you two.” My mom’s smile is so wide, it makes her eyes crinkle in the corners. “We’re so glad you could make it.”

“Hey, Mom.” I relax into her arms when she wraps me in a tight hug. When she releases me, she turns to Ryder and holds her open arms out to him. He only hesitates for a second before accepting her embrace. He’s so much taller than her, it should look comical—the way she’s holding him like he’s a child in need of comfort. The same way she held me. But it’s not comical. It’s everything.

Ryder’s shoulders are only stiff for a moment, and then his body heaves with a deep sigh. His eyes close, and the softest smile plays at his lips. My mom pats his back and just hugs him for a solid minute. It makes my heart fill with so much love. For my mom and for the giant man who has proven himself to be gentle and kind and loving. He savors the hug, and when he finally pulls away, there are tears in his eyes.

“Thanks, Mrs. Cross.”

“Psh,” my mom says, waving a hand in his direction. “None of that, now. That’s not how you refer to family.”

“Family?” His voice is so hopeful, my chest aches.

“Family,” my mom replies. “I’m afraid you’re stuck with us now, Ryder. And I’m a hugger.”

Ryder’s smile starts off small but grows with each passing second. His eyes glitter with happiness and love. “It’s been a while since I’ve had mom-hugs. I think I can live with that.”

Mom wraps her hand around his and gives it a squeeze. “Well, whenever you need a mom-hug, I’m here, son.”

A tear slips down Ryder’s cheek. He clears his throat and squeezes my mom’s hand back. “Thanks, Kelly. Really.”

As Ryder and my mom exchange a look of understanding, Jeff pulls me into a hug. “Hey, kiddo. It’s so good to see you again. We’ve been worried about you.”

“You have?”

“Of course,” Jeff says. As if it’s the most obvious thing in the world that he’d be worried about me, along with my mom. As if all my shitty behavior has been long forgotten.

“Jeff, I?—”

“Nope. None of that, Lexi. You have nothing to apologize for. Maybe if we’d been honest with you, things would have started out differently. But none of that matters. Now, we get to move forward. And eat a really delicious roast. Your mother has outdone herself this time.” He gives me a wink, and I chuckle. Then he holds out his hand for my mom. “Come on, Kelly. Let’s get these kids something to drink, so they’re not parched when we interrogate them.”

My mother’s bell-like laugh is free and joyous. I’m hit with so much gratitude as she and Jeff walk into the house hand in hand. She’s happy. Really happy. Maybe for the first time since I was born. And so am I. The Cross women have finally found their matches.

“You good?” Ryder asks me quietly as he steps up to my back and wraps his arms around my middle.

I sigh, letting myself soak up his heat and his strength. “Yeah. I’m good. Better than good.” Turning in his arms, I look up at the man I once thought could be a serial killer and laugh at myself. I should have realized my error right away. No serial killer has eyes as kind as his.

Ryder smiles, and his dimple makes an appearance. “What?”

“Just thinking about the first time we met.”

One eyebrow hitches up. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yep. I was so wrong about you. You could never be a killer.”

He laughs, and I feel it all the way down to my toes, the comforting vibration of it filling me. “Obviously.”

“But you are a thief,” I say.

His second eyebrow joins the first at his hairline. “A thief? Really? How so?”

“Because.” A slow grin tips up one corner of my lips. “You stole my heart.”

Ryder laughs again, tugging me into his chest, and I join in. “Oh, Oscar. That’s the cheesiest line I’ve ever heard.”

Pulling away from him, I pretend to pout. “Whatever. You know you love it.”

“I do.” He bends down, his face centimeters from mine.

“You love me,” I whisper.

“So much it hurts, baby,” he replies. “Because you’ve stolen my heart too. Except, I don’t want it back. I want you to keep it for me. Keep it safe. Can you do that?”

I nod. “I’ve got you, Handsome.”

His lips feather across mine. “And I’ve got you, Oscar. Always.”

Always .

My heart skips a beat.

I really love the sound of that.