The Co-op

Chapter Forty-Three

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

DEACON

In the dark hours of the morning I lurch awake, disoriented like I’d been falling through a dream. I feel further off course when I find LaRynn’s side of the bed empty. There’s a knot in my neck that rivals the one in my stomach as I pad out to the kitchen, where I find her sitting with a mug of coffee, staring at the empty table.

“Hey,” I say groggily. “You okay?”

She looks up at me with a haunted expression. “I’m okay. Couldn’t sleep.”

“Here.” I motion for her to make room so I can slide under and set her on my lap. When we twist into something comfortable, she rests an arm over my shoulders and skates her fingertips through my hair in circles. I wait quietly with her for a few moments until she’s ready to talk.

“I’m anxious about seeing my mom,” she says after a while.

I kiss her collarbone through her shirt, my chest stinging for her. No one should be this apprehensive about seeing a parent. “Do you want me to come with you?” I ask. Because I can’t tell her what to do in this situation. I couldn’t demand explanations or apologies from my own dad even when I knew I was running out of time, so I understand her struggle with this relationship with her mom.

She fidgets on my legs, like the idea that someone would want to hold her hand in an uncomfortable setting still makes her twitchy. “No, that’s okay,” she says. “But please don’t think it’s because I’m ashamed—or anything less than proud to be with you. I’m so, so proud of you.”

I kiss the worried crease between her brows. “Thank you for telling me that, but you don’t need to worry about me, love. You do what you gotta do, tell her whatever you need to. And I’ll be here for you when you get home.”

At that, she starts crying in earnest.