The Coast is Clear (Breakaway Shores #1)

Izzy

Sandcastles

The sun was shining, which didn’t always happen on the Oregon coast. It wasn’t like California, where the water was warm, and the sun was always high in the sky. No, the coast was mostly cloudy, and the water was freezing. Even in the summer.

But the boys were having fun. I sat in a low beach chair, a baseball cap pulled down as they played in the sand in front of me. Luke was working today, and we were enjoying being lazy. We’d had a movie morning and were having lunch on the beach. Christian had gone back and forth to the ocean, filling up their buckets so they could make very wet sand right in front of our blanket. I’d given up on leaving without sand once we’d gotten here, and Kingston had crawled over to the blanket, his hands covered in wet sand.

I loved the sound of the crashing waves. It was where I always felt comfortable. The beach was busy since the sun was out. People flocked from the city on sunny days, but it wasn’t too crowded yet. I glanced around, little kids running past us to the water. The beach had always been my happy place. Both of my books were set on the coast. It seemed like the best place to fall in love, by the sea with stormy clouds and little coffee shops.

Jack and I had fallen in love here before we really knew what love was. I had the biggest crush on him when we were teenagers. He had been muscular, even if he was still very skinny. His short blonde hair had been brighter back then, and his smile always made me blush. I loved spending summer nights riding around town with him and our friends. We’d texted a few times after my parents sold their house my junior year of high school, but it wasn’t the same. Not until college, and once I saw him, it was over for me.

Thinking about him made my heart ache. I missed him. Missed the way he would have been right in the sandy action with our boys. I loved the beach but didn’t want to exfoliate my entire body.

Kingston flipped over his plastic sandcastle mold and took it off, his eyes excitedly bright. But it didn’t look like a sandcastle. Instead, it sort of just fell apart. He let his head fall backward and let out a heavy sigh. I had to stop myself from laughing .

Christian came over, “Let me help you,” his voice was so calm. Kingston plopped down on his backside and worked with his brother to refill the mold.

My phone buzzed, and it was a text from a number I hadn’t saved.

I stared at the text, reading it over again. Why was he texting me? I was buying his house, and he was my brother’s friend. We didn’t need to text. I put my phone, face down, on the blanket next to me. I didn’t want to text back because I did want to text back.

I was mature enough to admit that I had a crush on Zander. He was hot and fit. But it wasn’t going to work. He was moving at the end of the summer, and I was a widow with two kids. Part of me felt proud that I even had a crush. Jack would be proud, which was also a little weird.

How’d he get my number? Luke probably gave it to him. I grabbed my phone, unlocked it, and reread the text. My heart fluttered a tiny bit. I was going to text back, to be polite. I had manners. I quickly typed out a short message.

Great. Conversation over. I placed my phone on my leg and looked back at my boys. Christian and Kingston were flipping the sandcastle mold back over, round two of the building process. This time, it came out much more like a sandcastle, and Kingston cheered. Christian had a cheesy smile, and then they got to work on the next piece. They got along well. I was lucky. Christian had been at a good age when Kingston had been born, even though he’d been in the thick of missing his dad. He loved Kingston from the very first moment he’d seen him. Always wanting to hold him, kiss him, and play with him.

My phone buzzed, and I felt myself getting excited- too excited. It was probably just Instagram or Luke. I flipped it over and saw another text message from Zander, his number showing instead of his name.

Okay, he’s being nice. Not a big deal. Just a nice guy placating a lonely widow who was buying his house.

The three dots popped up quickly, and I glanced up at the boys, who were still doing the same thing. My phone buzzed with his response.

Where? What? Why would I tell him that? I let out a little scoff and told him exactly where we were.

I threw on the question at the end to make it seem like he was weird for asking. But I didn’t see him responding.

Christian let Kingston turn over the next mold, which worked even better than the last one. “You guys are getting good at that.”

They both looked over at me, smiles on their face. “We’re building a territory for the sharks to live,” Christian told me, his voice very loud.

I rechecked my phone, but nothing. I put it down on the blanket and picked up my book. Just a crush, nothing more. And it was bound to be kind of anxiety-inducing because it was my first one since Jack. That’s all. But I needed to keep my distance because it wasn’t an option.

The boys created two more pieces of their castle before requesting a snack. I didn’t even try to wipe their hands; instead, we walked down to the water. My feet sank into the wet sand as they leaned down, letting the fresh, foamy water clean most of the sand. They might still have some, but not enough to stop them from enjoying a snack. “Okay, no touching anything now.”

They held their hands out in front of them as we walked back to our blanket. “Mom, look,” Kingston said, pointing ahead of us.

I followed his finger and found Zander standing right next to our stuff. He had blue shorts and a white T-shirt on. His dark hair looked messed up, pushed back from his face. He gave us a little wave, and I didn’t know how to act. I waved too and waited until we were closer to say, “Funny meeting you here.”

“I was walking when I texted you and figured I’d stop by and say hi.” His attention turned to the boys, who sat on the blanket and grabbed their snacks. “Did you guys build this cool castle?”

Kingston nodded, his mouth full of Ritz crackers, while Christian answered, “Yeah, it’s for some sharks.” His mouth was also full of crackers.

“It’s pretty cool. Sharks are gonna swim right up the beach for a chance to live there.”

“We’re in a big shark phase right now,” I said. Zander nodded and sat down on the blanket. Kingston laid down on his back, his snack bag resting on his belly. He put one arm over his eyes. It was getting close to nap time. “Do you walk on the beach every day?” I felt a twinge of awkwardness at my attempt at small talk.

First, he texted me, and now he is here. Hanging out on the beach with us.

“I try to, yeah. Soaking it all up before I move.” Right, because he was leaving. I had to keep that at the front of my mind.

“It’s busy today.”

“Which means the traffic is gonna be bad, too.” He was right. The main road, which was just two lanes, would be packed. “Where’s Luke today?”

Oh, he was looking for my brother. That made more sense. “He is working down in Lincoln today, I think. Busy day showing houses.”

“Did you see he put up a billboard?” Zander asked, a smile creeping up on his face.

“A billboard?” This was news to me.

Zander leaned back on his hands, stretching out his legs in front of him, “Yeah, it wasn’t really his idea, but his boss thought using his face would help them get more clients. It’s just weird to see his face every time I drive to the grocery store.”

“I cannot wait to bug him about that. It’s going to be amazing. He hates having his picture taken,” I chuckled, and Christian dropped his bag of snacks in the sand.

“Mom, can we go home?”

“You tired, buddy?” Kingston was in the same spot, holding a cracker up to his mouth. I nodded and then met Zander’s eyes, “I’ll tell Luke that you were looking for him, but it looks like I have to get these tired guys home.”

Zander didn’t move for a moment, then leaned forward, “I’ll help you take this stuff back. I don’t think the tired boys will be much help. Did you walk?”

“Yeah,” I said and pulled my eyes away from him. His skin looked so warm in the sunlight that little beads of sweat clung to his forehead. “But you don’t have to help. I’ve got it.” I was used to doing things alone and didn’t resent it. I tried to find gratitude in the fact that losing Jack had made me stronger, a more present mother and helped me carry things in bigger batches.

He shook his head, “No, I’ll help.”

I stood and started to put away my beach chair while Zander picked up the boys’ dirty beach toys. Christian stood, still holding onto his snacks. I walked over to Kingston, who I’m pretty sure was almost asleep, but nudged him softly, “Big guy, it’s time to go home.” He groaned. “You tired, honey?”

Kingston nodded slightly, and I glanced back at Zander. “I might have to hold him. He woke up really early.”

Zander came over, standing right next to me, and the smell of pine was thick in the air. “Buddy, do you want a piggyback ride?” he asked, bending close to Kingston.

“Piggyback?” Kingston asked, dropping his arm from his eyes.

“Piggyback, buddy,” Zander answered with a little bit of excitement in his voice.

Kingston held his hands out, and Zander grabbed him, pulling him to his feet. He kneeled in the sand and let Kingston climb up on his back. Christian looked grumpy, “I want a piggyback.”

“You get next, okay?” Zander said as he held onto Kingston’s feet. I grabbed the two bags, throwing the blanket into one before slinging my chair over my shoulder.

I wanted to thank Zander, but my heart lurched at how Kingston rested his tired head against the back of Zander’s. He’d never been around a man like that except for Luke. But it looked so right, him being with Zander. Maybe it was just my hormones or missing Jack, but my heart ached for my boys. They needed a dad in their lives. I knew that, and I knew I was scared to open myself up for that again.

A part of me also worried about loving someone who didn’t love my kids, who only tolerated them. I didn’t want that for them. There was so much to consider now, so much to think about when it came to starting a relationship. Maybe someday I’d be ready.

Christian trudged up the hill away from the ocean behind Zander. I followed behind them, all of us walking in a straight line. I kept my eyes on Kingston or Christian, not staring at the strong muscles moving through Zander’s shirt. The walk back was quiet, and I was ready for nap time. I should try to write and get something done.

The tall grass swayed on either side of us, and the sun was warm on my back. I made a mental note to go for a bike ride later if the weather was still lovely. The boys loved riding in the bike trailer, which was my favorite form of exercise. It kept me active, made them happy, and gave me time to feel like I was doing something for myself. And no one could ask me questions.

We reached the end of the path and stepped into the street. “Remember, there are cars, bud, so please stay close,” I told Christian, who was strolling.

Zander turned around, walking backward, “Is he asleep? He feels asleep?” he asked, pointing up to Kingston, who looked asleep.

“He definitely is,” I said with an apologetic look .

“Poor guy was tired,” he said and turned back around.

We made a left, and I could see the little rental house up ahead. I picked up my speed, grabbing onto Christian’s hand. “I’m gonna win,” I told him, knowing he’d race.

His eyes widened, and he ran ahead of me, “No, I’m gonna win.” It was a game we always played. If he didn’t want to go somewhere, I’d tell him I would win, and he’d suddenly change his mind. You had to learn to turn things around as a mom and work them in your favor.

Christian bolted up to the front door, placing both hands on it. He glanced back at me, “I win, Mom!”

I smiled and keyed in the code when I reached the door. I patted his head and heard Zander step up onto the porch. The door opened, and I asked Christian, “I will get Kingston in bed. Do you want to take a nap, too?”

“Maybe, can I watch a show and rest on the couch?” he asked, already heading there.

“Sure, pick a good show, okay?” Christian nodded. Zander stood by the stairs with Kingston fully asleep on his back. “His room is just up here,” I told him, and he followed me upstairs.

I kept the light off in Kingston’s room, opening the door enough for Zander to come inside. Zander moved slowly as he twirled him around, placing Kingston on the bed. I draped a blanket over him, realizing he was getting sand in the bed—a problem for me to deal with later. Kingston twisted, facing the wall, and I backed out of the room, slowly closing the door behind me. I turned only to realize how close Zander stood to me. My heart fluttered as I met his eyes, “Thanks for carrying him. You didn’t have to do that.”

Zander waved a hand through the air, “Happy to do it. It’s hard to be a single parent.”

He was close to me, too close. I could reach out and put a hand on his arm or chest. I stepped away from him, my back pressing into the frame of Kingston’s door. “Yeah,” I didn’t know what to say. That wasn’t entirely true. I knew what I wanted to say. I wanted to ask him if he’d wanted anything to eat or what it had been like to play professional football. I wanted to ask him who he had lost in his life. But instead, I cleared my throat and walked down the stairs.

Christian was lying on the couch, the remote in his hand, but his eyes were already closed. I also put a blanket over him and grabbed my laptop off the coffee table. I turned around, and Zander stood by the door, “I’ll leave you to enjoy the quiet, .” He smiled at me, and it was such a great smile.

I took a step toward him, “Do you want to eat lunch? I’ve got this yummy salad that I made last night.” My chest pounded with anxiety. What was I doing?

Zander’s gaze dropped to the ground for a moment before he shook his head, and I knew I wanted to take it back. “I’ve got to get going, but I’ll see you around, okay?” He opened the door, slipped out quickly, and closed it without a sound.

Well, that went well .

I went into the kitchen opening my laptop. There was no way I would focus enough to write, my chest a slow cooker full of tangled emotions. But I could watch something. I pulled up my favorite food competition show and sat down to forget what happened.