The Coast is Clear (Breakaway Shores #1)

Izzy

Dinosaurs and Snakes

The house was dark when Zander pulled into the driveway hours later. We’d managed to get onto a flight right after getting to the airport, but Zander wouldn’t tell me how much it cost, which probably meant it was ridiculously expensive. But it was worth it. It was just after dinner time, and Luke had been giving us updates since he called.

Christian had managed to eat two pieces of toast and was now sipping some soup on the couch. Kingston was fine, which was good news, but I knew that he’d probably get sick next. The boys liked to pass these sicknesses back and forth like toys.

Zander hopped out of the car and walked around the front of the truck, opening my door for me. He held out a hand, and I let out a sigh of relief. He had driven fast, but I’d still felt safe. He knew the windy road between the Coast and Portland, unlike some of the other people on the road. You could always tell who was from here and who wasn’t. “You look pretty.”

“What?” I asked him, my feet hitting the concrete of the driveway.

The air was chilly, and I leaned into his chest, wanting to steal some of his warmth. Zander smiled down at me. “Yup. You. You’re pretty today. Just thought I should mention it.”

I pressed up on my toes and kissed his mouth. “Thank you. You always look pretty.”

The door swung open, and Luke’s voice rang out. “Stop necking and get in here. Kingston is asking for you.” He was panicked, and I fought the urge to laugh. It wasn’t funny and he had been so nice to take the boys on short notice. But it made me chuckle. Maybe because I’d been the only one worried about the boys for so long. Maybe it felt nice to have someone else to share the anxiety with. Or maybe it was just nice to see my brother worried about something besides real estate and his latest fling.

Zander shut the door, and Kingston stood in the doorway where Luke must have been. “Mommy!” he said with his arms spread wide.

“Hi, babes, I missed you,” I squealed as I rushed toward the front steps. He met me at the top, and I picked him up, noting how heavy he felt. Gosh, they were growing too fast.

“Christian is icky. But I’m okay.” Kingston laid his head on my shoulder as we walked inside. Christian was lying on his side on the couch, his eyes closed.

Zander closed the door behind us, and I walked into the kitchen. “Looks like he’s asleep.”

Luke leaned against the counter, stretching his arms out wide in front of him. “I’m so sorry.”

“What for?” I asked, watching him carefully. He looked tired and stressed out. His hair was all tousled and a tad greasy, like he hadn’t showered.

“That he’s sick. I did the best I could.”

I smiled, and Luke narrowed his eyes. “They get sick, Luke. It’s okay. You were great. I have no doubt that you did exactly what I would have done.” His shoulders seemed to relax, and I nodded at him.

Kingston popped his head up. “We got a fish!”

My eyes went wide, and I looked past him to my brother, who was now avoiding my eye contact. “A fish, really?”

“Yes, it’s a betta fish. I love him.” And then he settled back down against my shoulder.

Luke put his hands up in the air. “They tricked me into it. But I mean, it’s a cute little fish. And I’ll clean its tank for you.”

Zander laughed, clapping Luke on his shoulder. “Do you and Rebecca still have a date tonight? This has got to be the fourth one, right? ”

“What? Four dates?” I asked, my voice a little too loud.

My brother’s face brightened, his cheeks getting red, and I knew that it was serious. “It is date number three, just to be clear. And I will not be saying anything more about it.” He yawned, covering his mouth with both hands, something that our mother taught us. Well, taught isn’t the right way to put it. She badgered us about how ugly it looked to yawn and would glare every time we did it without covering our mouths. It was easier to cover it than deal with her remarks. “Is it okay if I get going? I need to shower.”

“You didn’t shower?” Zander asked.

“I didn’t want to leave them alone,” Luke practically squealed, and Kingston’s breathing changed on my shoulder. He was falling asleep.

“Go ahead. Thank you again. We had such a fun time.” I said to him, and then he scrunched his face up in a gross way. “What is that face for?”

Luke shook his head. “Stop. I don’t want to hear about the fun times. I really don’t need to know.”

“Oh, grow up,” Zander said, pushing him toward the door. I followed behind them as Luke grabbed his backpack, and Zander followed him outside. Christian was out, his arm dangling off the edge of the couch. Kingston’s arms were loose around my neck, and I took each step carefully, not wanting to wake him. The upstairs was dark, and I felt my way around his room before lying him on the bed. He grumbled a bit before flopping over to his other side. I brushed his hair back from his face, and the way he was positioned made him look just like Jack. My heart ached, and I just stood there, watching him sleep.

There was a pang of sadness at the fact that Jack never got to see him, hold him, or know him at all. He never would, and Kingston could never look back on memories of the two of them. That had been one of the cruelest parts of losing Jack. I had another piece of him, a child we’d created together, but one that would always be missing something.

Kingston was happy, he was, and I knew that in my bones. But I know he’d have his own journey with the loss of his dad and everything that comes with it. I just had to make sure to be there for him. And then, I heard the front door click closed. Zander. He’d filled part of that sadness, not by replacing anything but just by being what we now needed.

Zander was good for them. Good for all three of us. I just needed to learn to let someone else in, to let someone else help me. I could do it. I slipped out of Kingston’s room and went downstairs to find Zander clicking off lamps in the living room. I checked on Christian, pulling the blanket up to his chin. His forehead was hot against my lips but not too hot. My lips were about as accurate as a thermometer. He’d be okay. “Should we move him?” Zander asked, standing beside me, his hands settling on my hips.

I leaned back into him, pulling his hands around to my front, wanting to be held. “I don’t know. We probably should. Do you think you could carry him?”

He kissed the top of my shoulder. “Yes, I got him.”

We didn’t speak as Zander picked up Christian, cradling him against his chest. My heart was about to explode, watching him hold my first baby like he was a baby again. Christian stirred a bit but didn’t open his eyes, instead turning his face into Zander’s chest. We moved in sync as we went up the stairs, tucked him into bed, and backed out of the room. Zander closed the door and pressed his forehead to the frame. “We did it.”

“Now what?” I asked, and Zander’s eyes dropped to my lips.

He raised his eyebrows up and smiled. “I need to shower all that airplane off me.” I nodded, and part of me stilled. I wasn’t sure what he meant. If he was going to leave, but then he took a step closer to me and kissed the edge of my mouth before whispering in my ear, “Want to join me?”