The Coast is Clear (Breakaway Shores #1)

Izzy

Rubble

The light shined through the gauzy drapes in my room, and I groaned. I had debated putting up blackout shades, but it felt silly when we’d be moving in just weeks, and I’d have to buy them again. I rolled over and was surprised to find Zander still there. I don’t know why. He didn’t say he was going to leave, but he was asleep on top of the covers, his hand behind his head. The sleeve of his shirt pulled up enough to see a small tattoo on the underside of his arm. I could only see a tiny part of it. I kept my fingers light as I moved his shirt further down, and the small tattoo became visible. It was a tiny bird, wings in flight with a small chain attached to his right foot, the end of the chain broken like it had pulled away and torn it open. “That tickles,” Zander muttered my fingers on his arm still.

“Sorry,” I said quietly. “What does this mean?” I touched the tattoo, and he twitched underneath me.

Zander’s eyes were still closed, “To not let anyone hold me back from what I’m capable of or what I want for my life, even me.”

“So, you’re a free spirit, huh?” I joked and fell back into my pillow.

He turned on his side, cracking his eyes open, and my heart warmed at the deep green. “You know it, babe. Just one of those hippie kinds of people.”

“Any others?”

“Tattoos?” he asked in response and shook his head. Zander smirked, “Wanna check and see if I’m lying?”

The flirtatious tone made my core tighten, and I suddenly felt like playing along. The soft light drenched over him as I sat up. I didn’t let myself think as I straddled him. He helped me, moving so I could pull his shirt over his head. Zander’s hands traveled up my legs, leaving tiny tingles in his wake as they came to rest on my hips. “This is ridiculous. So not fair.”

I moved my hands up and down his chest, letting my fingers run through his chest hair. “Hey, I’m just looking for tattoos.” Zander’s fingers dug into my hips, and I felt one of his fingers dip underneath the top of my underwear. I sucked in a breath as he made little circles on my skin. “That is not fair,” I repeated back to him, my words choppy .

Zander pulled me closer to him, and I closed my eyes, savoring the feeling of his rough hands on my skin. “You mean this?”

My head was next to his, and I leaned against his cheek as he massaged me. “Yes, Zander. That.” Knowing that saying his name would only encourage him.

Before I knew it, he’d grabbed me and flipped us over on the bed so he kneeled above me. My legs fell open, and he pulled at my underwear, “These need to come off.” They came off quickly, and he moved closer to me, taking my lips with his.

I wrapped one leg around him, wanting him closer and needing his pants off. I broke the kiss, holding his face back from mine for a moment. “What about you, you have too many clothes on.”

He pulled away, kneeling over me again, with a delicious smirk on his face. “What clothes?”

I sat up and tugged at his pants, “These.” My fingers found the button and undid them, keeping my eyes on his. I was past the point of caring anymore. I just wanted him. “Need to come off.” My fingers shook slightly as I unzipped his pants and pulled them down. He watched me carefully, and once his pants were on the floor, he flipped us back over. Zander’s mouth found mine, and we dove into oblivion.

Zander fell onto the bed beside me, pulling me close to him. I met his eyes and knew that we’d moved into a different category now. I placed my hand on his chest and smiled. “The best way to start the day.”

He laughed and kissed my lips softly. “The very best.” His fingers lightly ran over my side, and I closed my eyes, the thoughts in my head swirling to the surface. I had thought I’d never be ready to be with someone else after Jack died. The thought had repulsed me and made me angry with myself for thinking it. No one had even interested me until Zander. But it felt right like it had with Jack. This had felt right with Zander, not scary. Not revolting. “I still have a question from last night.”

I opened my eyes, and Zander's face was very serious. “Shoot.”

“How are you feeling?”

I chuckled, smiling. “Good. Great. Amazing.” Zander tilted his head, and I almost felt like he needed some reassurance from me. Reassurance that that was okay. “I wanted to do that last night, but I wasn’t sure if you did.”

Zander let out a breath, “I just didn’t want to rush it, you know? I didn’t want you to wake up and regret it or feel guilty. I was probably overthinking it.”

“For the longest time, the thought of being with anyone or even feeling anything for another man made me feel really guilty. I didn’t feel like it was right, as if I owed Jack more than that. I’m not sure when it started to change for me, but I know that he’d want me to be happy with someone again. He wouldn’t be upset. So no, I don’t regret it or feel guilty. ”

I heard footsteps from down the hall, and Zander’s eyes widened. “The wild ones seem to be up.” For the first time since we woke up, I checked the time. There were still ten minutes until seven. The boys shouldn’t come out until then.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom before they storm in here.” I let my eyes drift down Zander’s still-naked body and ran my fingers down his chest. “You should probably put your clothes on.”

He nipped at my ear, “So should you.”

I felt the fire inside me flicker and wanted to stay in bed with him even longer. Zander kissed me, and I pulled away, grabbing my shirt and walking across the room to my bathroom. A pair of sweatpants lay on the chair in the corner of the room, and I took those, too.

My reflection in the mirror after going to the bathroom and getting dressed gave me pause. My hair was messed up, but I felt like I looked brighter. Beaming with life. Little voices came from the other side of the door, and I opened it quietly to see both boys crawling into bed. Christian pulled the covers over him, snuggling into Zander’s left side while Kingston put his head on Zander’s right shoulder. I stopped, frozen by the smiles on their faces and the way that Zander pulled them closely into him. The bridge of my nose burned, and suddenly, I felt terrified. Terrified that something would happen to Zander, happen to us. Terrified that we’d just made a terrible mistake because if this all burned down, it would be my two sweet boys who would be left in the rubble.