The Coast is Clear (Breakaway Shores #1)

Izzy

Happy Birthday

I was a bundle of nerves as I set the cake down in the center of the table. We were having the party at Zander’s, which was great because it was nice outside, and Kingston had wanted the sprinkler going. Zander was putting out the new sprinkler he’d purchased just for them. It was a splash pad and allowed the water to puddle inside the bottom.

I hadn’t seen Jack’s parents in about a year, and I couldn’t remember the last time they’d called us. But they had told me they were coming. The boys would be so excited to see them, and that made me happy. But my mother and them had never gotten along. She didn’t really get along with most people. Luke put his arm around my shoulders, “It’s gonna be fun. ”

“Where is she?” I whispered, not sure if my mother was nearby.

“Inside, standing over a bowl of chips.” Luke squeezed me. “I’m sorry.”

I leaned into him. “Not your fault. You should be able to talk about your life with her and also not be blindsided with surprise visits.”

Zander came up the stairs, Christian and Kingston jumped into the sprinkler. The side gate to the yard was open, and some of the neighbor's kids walked in. Christian squealed with joy as more kids slid in the water. It was going to be fun. It was about Kingston being three and nothing else. Luke clapped Zander’s shoulder and went down into the yard, greeting the guests. He knew everyone, and I only knew some of them. Not their names but by what they looked like. I wrapped my arm around Zander’s back and rested my head against his chest. He kissed the top of my head. “Oh, well, look at you two,” Patricia said with a hint of sarcasm.

I ignored her as Zander turned to her. “Can I get you anything, Patricia?”

She scoffed and walked down into the yard, heading for one of the chairs that we’d set up along the edge. I spotted Jack’s mother coming through the side gate, clutching a very large birthday present wrapped in colorful paper. “That’s Jack’s mom.” I squeezed Zander’s hand before walking toward them. “Marcia,” I called out, and she spun her head to me.

Her face softened, and I looked behind her, not seeing Jack’s dad. She waved and handed me the present. “This is a nice place.”

“It is.” I pointed to Kingston and Christian. “The boys are in the sprinkler.”

Marcia nodded and glanced around. “Is this where you moved to?”

“We will be moving here, yes. But my friend lives here right now.” Something about her was off, more held back than she normally was. I should have reached out to them more kept trying even though they’d stopped picking up my calls. “Where is Grandpa?” I asked.

She pursed her lips. “He is on the phone with Jason, but he’ll be in.” Jason was Jack’s younger brother, who they’d moved to be close to.

“Okay, well, there are snacks up on the patio.” I motioned over there. “Feel free to roam and say hi to the boys.”

I didn’t know what else to say. She and I had been close once, and I really had loved our relationship. It felt like having a real mom. She was supportive and helpful. But then Jack died, and it changed. I’d lost my husband, and they’d lost a son. I think it was too much for them to get over. To move past. I just hated that my boys suffered for it. I placed the large present bag on the floor because I hadn’t set up a gift table. I’d specifically said no gifts. The boys had so much stuff and Luke had already given Kingston two presents today.

Zander’s hand grabbed mine, and I smiled at him. “How’d it go? ”

“It was awkward. Like she didn’t really want to be here. I don’t know.” I was rambling. “I should have just not had a party.”

He put his hand on my face, tilting it up to him, and his thumb ran over my skin. “Stop. It’s going to be fine. You’re just nervous.”

“And who is this?” Justin’s voice was like ice. Zander turned around, and my chest got tight. Jack was the spitting image of his dad, Justin. But Jack would never look like this version of him, aged with gray hairs. No, he’d forever be twenty-six.

“Zander, nice to meet you.” His voice was strong as he held out his hand.

Justin shook it, his eyes darting between the two of us. Worry filled me, but then Justin smiled. “Nice to meet you, too. You taking good care of this one?”

“I am, sir,” Zander said, and I let my shoulders relax.

Justin held open his arms, and I hugged him. He pressed a kiss to the side of my head and then held me back from him. “You look happy, which would make my Jack happy.”

He smiled, and I really felt it. The words he spoke made me tear up. “I’m glad you guys came. It’s been too long.”

“It has. I’m sorry,” Justin said, glancing out at the grass. “The boys are big. Can we take them out while we’re here?”

“Of course, they’d love it,” I told him, and I really meant it. They would love it.

He nodded at Zander and squeezed my shoulder before heading toward the boys. I watched him wave to Christian, getting his attention. He kneeled and both boys gave him a very wet hug. “He seems nice,” Zander said from beside me.

“He is, just like Jack,” and it was true. “But losing Jack really changed Marcia. I always felt like she just couldn’t stand to be reminded of him.”

“At least she came.”

“Yeah.” Zander was right. At least she was there.

It was a half-hour past Kingston’s bedtime, but it was his birthday. We were letting him stay up late and planning on sleeping over at Zander’s. He’d asked Zander about it. Not me. This might have made me irritated two months ago, but now I sort of loved that I shared a bit of the focus.

It was kind of a big moment. He viewed Zander as someone who was in charge, who made the rules, like a parent. I shouldn’t have been surprised. Zander was very involved when he was around. He didn’t sit idly by, even though I know he tried to.

“It should be on the counter,” Zander told me from the other room where he sat squished in between Christian and Kingston. He wanted his phone to show them videos from the party. I moved into his dining room and found it right away. Next to it was a big yellow envelope, the top of whatever was inside peeking out the top. It looked familiar, similar to the closing papers that I had sitting on my counter in the rental.

He must be working on them, too. I pulled them out a little further, the boys giggling in the other room. My eyes stopped on the address, which was not in Oregon but in North Carolina. I skimmed the front page. Zander had bought a house in North Carolina. He’d told me at the beginning of the summer that he was thinking about moving there to be close to his mom. But he’d told me he wasn’t going anywhere. He’d said that several times. Maybe these were old, or he’d never signed them. My heart was racing in my chest as I pulled them out, flipping to the last pages where I knew he’d have to sign. There it was, his signature scrawled in black ink and the date he signed them, which was yesterday.

He’d lied to me.

I felt a tiny wall start to stack up around my heart, but I couldn’t talk to him about it now. Not with the boys here. Maybe there was a simple explanation, something I wasn’t seeing.

I put the papers back and grabbed his phone, walking toward the family room. My heart ached as Kingston and Christian cuddled against either side of him. He was so handsome, even more handsome when he was with them. His dark hair was a bit unruly from wrestling with them, and the sleeves of his shirt were pushed up, his strong biceps on display.

But he was leaving.

Even though we’d made plans. Plans to watch Christian play football. Plans to talk about living together. I gave him his phone and sat down, my mind whirling.

My heartfelt on the edge of cracking open, but then I thought of my boys. They’d had a good day, and I wanted it to stay good.

I took the boys home and insisted that I wasn’t feeling well. I think that Zander knew I was full of crap, but I just needed to calm down. I’d always had a hard time expressing what I really wanted to say when my emotions were running too high. Confrontation gave me anxiety in an instant. Maybe that came from listening to my parents scream at each other when I was a kid. I mean, most definitely, it came from that.

But I knew it now. And I tried to be smart about it. I needed to make some bullet points. To let myself calm down.

Jack always knew when I was preparing to have a talk, and there was one time that I was frustrated with his constant desire to start up new hobbies that had big startup costs. I’d been making a list of my thoughts on my desk, and I came back to it to find his notes written beside mine.

It was hysterical in that moment. We had our conversation separately on that paper, but I loved that he knew that about me. He wasn’t mad or upset. He wasn’t annoyed.

I missed him.

Zander texted me first thing in the morning and I got the feeling he knew something was amiss.

I didn’t respond right away. My stomach just a mess of nerves. The boys woke up and were excited to get ready for their day with Jack’s parents. They were picking them up at eight-thirty, which was something I’d always loved about them. They knew that kids woke up at the crack of dawn and loved to be busy all day with them.

They were good grandparents.

It was just different now.

I kissed the boys and watched them rush out to Justin and Marcia’s rental car. They waved to me and said they’d have them back around dinner. I had the day to myself.

Well, I could have it to myself.

But I needed to talk to Zander.

I figured that over the phone would be a good place to start the conversation. I reminded myself that as I pressed Zander’s name. He answered after one ring. “Hey!”

“Hey, what are you doing?” I asked, fiddling with the tuft on one of my couch pillows.

Zander’s voice was warm. “I was just about to go run and get some caffeine, actually. Can I bring you some?”

Chai sounded good. There wasn’t ever a time when chai didn’t sound good. “Uh, sure. Thanks.”

“Okay.” There was an awkward pause, and I flopped down on my couch. “Did the boys—”

I cut him off. “Why did you tell me you weren’t going anywhere and then buy a house in North Carolina? Were you just going to leave at the end of the summer?” My words came out rushed, but the relief of saying them was immediate.

Zander cleared his throat. “I thought you might have seen the closing docs. Um, I can explain, but I didn’t buy that house for me to live in. Can I get you a chai and bring it over? We can talk.” He sounded so earnest, so honest. Like he normally did.

“Okay. I’ll be here,” I said and hung up the phone.