The Cowboy and the Hacker (Farthingdale Valley #5)

23. Cal

Chapter 23

Cal

C al didn’t want to go back to the Farthingdale Valley. Not only because Preston would be there, but because it would break the spell between him and Zeke. The spell the valley and their rescue mission had cast over him. And the idea that maybe in another life, while he’d been falling for Zeke, Zeke would have been falling for him.

Surely all the sweet glances Zeke had been sending his way had just been Zeke enjoying himself up in the high mountains, with the regular concerns of his life far behind him.

Surely it hadn’t been Cal that the sweet flush on Zeke’s face had been for. Surely, Zeke would never fall in love with someone like Cal.

Moreover, Zeke was straight. Wasn’t he? Cal had thought he was, but the skinny dipping and the almost hand holding on their bareback ride across the valley was making him unsure about that. He wouldn’t keep flirting with a man who would never want him, sure. But he wasn’t so sure. Not anymore.

The rain finally let up when it was fully dark, the sunset having left its last purple streaks above the ridge. There were plops of water on the rain fly as they tucked themselves inside the tent to get undressed for sleep.

There was a bit of dampness inside the tent, but Zeke unzipped the tent flaps to let fresh air in, though he left the screen zipped to keep out whatever critters might be lurking in the dark.

When Cal was stripped to his t-shirt and briefs, he slid inside his sleeping bag, leaving the zipper open. He tucked his fingers into the letter curve of his bear scare as he cast his gaze over the half-moon the flashlight left on the slanted roof of the tent, and watched Zeke’s shadow as Zeke stripped to his t-shirt and briefs as well.

As Zeke slithered into his sleeping bag, he took up the flashlight in his hands and laid it at the opening of the tent, there to anoint the slivers of silver rain caught in its reflection. Then he lay back and laced his hands behind his head.

“Zeke,” said Cal. His voice caught around the word and he stopped, unsure of what to say after that. All the words in his heart pounded to get out.

“Yeah?” Zeke’s voice was low in the semi-darkness, in the long shadows stretching from the flashlight.

“You know, it’s just you and me up here,” said Cal, pushing the envelope as hard as he could. “We could kiss if we wanted to.”

Zeke’s whole body went still, his hands shifting where they were laced behind his neck. But he didn’t move away, and he didn’t say no. Just stayed still, his eyes open and looking at the ceiling of the tent.

In the silence, they could hear the rushing of the river, the nicker of a horse. Maybe even the howl of a wolf.

“Cal,” said Zeke, and then he stopped.

“We can do whatever we want.” Cal nodded, though Zeke wasn’t looking at him and couldn’t possibly see. “And I’d like to kiss you. I would.”

It wasn’t bravery. It was desperation, pure and simple. The pull at his soul, and his body that wanted Zeke, all the parts of him, from his strong chest, to his slender hips. All of him. It’d been a while since Cal had wanted anyone so much.

“We’re all the way up here,” said Cal. He turned on his side as desperation rose in his chest, hands tucked close to keep himself from simply reaching for Zeke.

“We are,” said Zeke.

Which meant, as far as Cal could tell, that Zeke wasn’t simply up and saying no.

“But I shouldn’t,” said Zeke now. “ We shouldn’t.”

“Why not?” asked Cal. His heart was hammering. “There’s nobody here but us.”

Cal watched as Zeke blinked slowly once or twice and thought that if Zeke was going to bring up the whole I’m your team lead thing, that he would have by now. He hadn’t. Which meant that any hesitation on his part was personal. Which meant that Cal shouldn’t beg, because it would be pushy. And rude.

“Please,” he said anyway, inching closer to Zeke, his hand on Zeke’s shoulder. The cotton material of the t-shirt was warm from Zeke’s body, thin enough that Cal could feel the thumping of Zeke’s heart. “Please,” he said again.

“Don’t beg,” said Zeke. He paused and said, “You don’t have to beg.”

He was pressing the back of his hand to his mouth, as if he meant to stop anything else he might say.

Then, inexplicably, he turned on his side, facing Cal, and reached to cup the back of Cal’s neck with his fingers. As he’d done in the past. As if the gesture had been repeated a thousand times, familiar and warm.

Cal didn’t need much pressure in that hand to move himself all the way next to Zeke, only stopping as Zeke unzipped his sleeping bag all the way so Cal could be right next to him.

In the next minute, Cal was half on top of Zeke, absorbing the warmth of him, the hardness of his body.

“Okay?” asked Zeke, but it seemed less like a question than a search for affirmation.

“Yeah.” The word came out barely louder than a breath, his throat suddenly dry, the back of his neck where Zeke pulled his hand away suddenly cool.

“Yeah,” he said again and leaned in close for that first kiss, a brush of his mouth on Zeke’s soft one, the tiniest bit of pressure. And shivered at the sudden soft moan from Zeke.

“It’s okay,” said Cal, the older, wiser one in this. “Whatever you want. You can have it.”

“I don’t even know.” Zeke’s eyes were such a dark green in the half-limned light, almost shadows in his face.

Cal cupped that face with his palm, and kissed Zeke again, those firm lips opening up to him at last, a flick of his tongue to Zeke’s, a spark of deeper warmth surrounded by Zeke’s utter trust. A thought which made Cal’s heart jackhammer in his chest.

It was Zeke, attentive as always, who said, “Easy now. We’ve got time. Just be patient with me. I’ve never?—”

“Never been with a man before,” said Cal, finishing the statement for him.

“Galen said—” Zeke stopped again, so unlike him, as he usually said what he meant and meant what he said and measured every single word before it was spoken.

“Galen?” asked Cal. He knew who Galen was, sure, and he squashed the sudden flare of jealousy as to the nature of Galen and Zeke’s relationship.

“Later,” said Zeke, whisper low. “Just. Let it be you and me now. Here in this valley, so far from everything.”

In the valley so far from everything, Cal eased on top of Zeke, weaving their legs together in that one-man sleeping bag, his chest pressed to Zeke’s, the warmth between their bodies growing.

And finally, finally, they held hands, their fingers locked together on either side of Zeke’s head as Cal pressed down. And kissed Zeke like he’d wanted to, maybe from the first moment he saw him.

As their tongues met, an energy arced between them, and when Cal pulled his hands away from Zeke’s, Zeke’s arms went around him and held him tight, as though Zeke meant to never, ever let go.

Cal felt the wonderful weight of those arms, the strength of the body beneath him, and inhaled Zeke’s scent, clean and rain-dappled, and perfectly wonderful.

Zeke pulled back, taking a breath, then ran his hands up Cal’s body to clasp his face.

“Thank you,” Zeke said. “I’ve been wondering and wondering. And now I know.”

“Know what?” asked Cal, his mouth moving against Zeke’s.

“I don’t rightly now exactly,” said Zeke with a little laugh. “Kissing another man. Experiencing something new. And maybe that’s you.”

“I reckon it is,” said Cal, joining in the merriment of the moment. “Can I show you something? You can stop me if you want.”

“Okay,” said Zeke.

Cal moved down and down into the hollow of the sleeping bag, unzipping it as he moved into the space between Zeke’s thighs, crouching there as he tugged at the elastic waistband of Zeke’s briefs.

Now it was dark, and every movement Zeke made, shifting to let Cal do what he was doing, which was pulling those briefs down Zeke’s legs, almost made Cal stop.

He didn’t know if Zeke was about to protest or stop him, but Zeke never did and Cal sighed as he bent to inhale Zeke’s scent up close, the sweet salt of the tender thin skin beneath his hip bone.

He absorbed the scratchy feel of his pubic hair, the intensified scent there, the velvet softness of his cock growing to hardness in a heartbeat. Cal held Zeke’s cock with both hands and, with the utmost gentleness, nuzzled it with his mouth until finally he swiped it with a long lick, slow, slow, slow.

He heard Zeke’s gasp, but there was no protest in that sound, just an uptick at the end, as though he was asking Cal if this was how it went.

Later, Cal might tell him that every time was different and special, though in honesty he’d not enjoyed giving a blow job in such a long time, so all of this felt brand new to him, too.

When he took Zeke’s cock in his mouth, he at last knew the taste of Zeke, how it felt to feel the blood pulse on his tongue. The heft of him, the slick roundness of the head of his cock. And the sound Zeke made, arching upwards as if Cal had surprised him beyond all measure.

Cal suckled Zeke’s cock and licked it and loved it, up and down, using his hand at the base, fingers weaving around Zeke’s balls, pulling another sound from Zeke, and when Cal sucked harder, just a little bit, as that was enough, Zeke sounded like he was crying.

Cal looked up and, in the glimmer of the flashlight, he could see that Zeke had thrown his forearms over his eyes, submerging himself in darkness, as if he wanted to bury himself in the sensations Cal was giving him.

Cal brought Zeke’s cock to fullness with his mouth and his hands and his heart, pouring all the love he could into the act, all the affection, to this man who’d carved a place for Cal at his side, building trust, never raising his voice, always gentle and slow and good.

As Cal sucked and licked, hard and then soft, he absorbed the memory into his soul, burying it deep so he could look at it later. Look and remember and wonder how anything so good could have happened to him. Everything had been so awful for so long and now this. Him and Zeke in the valley so far away from everything.

He felt Zeke stiffen, his cock, his whole body, even, and when Zeke’s balls tightened, impossibly tight, Cal eased off, tickling the tip of Zeke’s cock with his tongue, a last, furious tease to send Zeke over the edge.

Zeke’s cock pulsed, good and strong, and Cal tipped his head down to swallow the pulse of hot white, swallowing and tasting and absorbing Zeke into his very soul.

There would never be another night like this one. There never needed to be. This one was perfect. Perfect as he gentled Zeke’s skin with light kisses, those trembling thighs with his hand, slow pets and long across his hip bones as Cal eased himself up to curl in Zeke’s embrace.

“God,” said Zeke. He cupped Cal’s head and kissed the top of it and sighed a deep breath. “I had no idea it could be that good.”

“You didn’t?” asked Cal softly as he nuzzled beneath Zeke’s strong jaw.

“Betty Lou,” said Zeke. He waved his hand in the darkness above them as if to demonstrate that he had no idea what he meant to say. “She was my fiancée until I busted my leg. A good woman, truly, but very single-minded. Sure. But until now I had no idea she hated giving blow jobs.”

“Hated?” asked Cal. “I’m sure she didn’t hate them. I’m sure she loved you.”

“She did,” said Zeke. Cal heard him lick his lips. “We were close, but in comparison to this?—”

“You can’t compare two people like that,” said Cal, in a rush, feeling rather wise. “It’s different is all.”

“Different?” asked Zeke with a huff of a laugh. “Like night and day. You sent me to the stars, Cal.”

Cal smiled, burying his face in Zeke’s neck, his arms going around Zeke’s middle as Zeke turned off the flashlight. Now they were in darkness, pure and deep and still, with only the sounds of the light rain and their breath to lace them together until morning.

“What about you?” asked Zeke. “What about Preston? I read about him in your file. You two were close? Are you close still?”

“I don’t want to talk about that now.”

Cal didn’t like cutting the conversation short, but there was no way he was going to spoil it by confessing everything about Preston and what Cal had done to get away from him. There would be time enough for that later.

“Later, then,” said Zeke. “And now you. It’s your turn.”

“Whatever you want to do,” said Cal. He reached to adjust his hardness in his briefs, and his body felt tense, like it was anticipating some kind of shock.

But that was before, with Preston. Now, with Zeke, he didn’t have to prepare for pain, or even the slightest discomfort. Zeke would be gentle with him as he always had been and always would be.

Feeling like he needed to keep on being the brave one, he took Zeke’s hand and guided it to his middle, and then led those fingers to curl around his hard cock, a layer of thin cotton between him and Zeke’s hand.

“Start with that, maybe,” said Cal, just about coming right then and there as Zeke’s fingers tightened around him, as if questioning where everything was, and wondering at how bold Cal was. “Just go slow. Do what feels good.”

“All of it does,” said Zeke, as if half to himself. “I’ll try my best, and you’ll let me know what you like, yes?”

“Yes.” Of course, yes. Anything Zeke might want to do to him was okay by Cal. Zeke’s touch on his cock was firm and steady, but never rough.

Cal imagined that Zeke was reaching beneath the waistband of Cal’s briefs as if starting on a journey of what he might like done to him. Which was a firm steady stroke, straightforward, as was Zeke himself.

Cal sank beneath Zeke’s ministrations and liked it just fine. As the sleeping bag flopped open, and Zeke’s hands became firm and confident, he gave into all of it, gave himself unto Zeke.

Over and over, Zeke petted and stroked him, kissing Cal’s ear, kissing his neck, the sensations steady, building, swallowing him up until the stars burst in his head and his spine crackled with pleasure.

As Zeke let him go, shifting to lie next to Cal once more, he kissed Cal, and Cal kissed him back and thought he might pass out from pleasure.

This was a memory he’d hold forever. Every minute of it was precious to him.

It might not happen again once they were away from the valley, far away from everywhere. But he had this, this moment right now. A place to rest his head on Zeke’s strong shoulder, and Zeke’s warm, solid arms coming around him, protecting him from all his fears, even the ones he’d not encountered yet.