The Dance We Remember (Love and Other Dreams #4)

Chapter 21

Aurora

With a long-drawn-out yawn, I enter our shared kitchen in the apartment. It's Monday, a whole week of intense training lies ahead, and I should be looking forward to it. However, at the same time, I feel like I'm lacking the energy for it.

"Good morning," I mumble as I slump next to Sky.

"Hey," she replies, sounding strained. It's only now that I notice she's pressing her arms against her lower abdomen, hunched over on the kitchen stool instead of sitting properly. The fruit plate in front of her remains untouched.

"What's wrong?" I reach for an apple slice, but before I can take a bite, a strange smell hits my nose, and I quickly put it back.

"Sometimes I wish I weren't a woman." Sky looks at me with a pained expression. "Seriously, what was Mother Nature thinking?"

Poor thing. I slide off the stool. "I have something for you. It works wonders!" I say, heading to my room to get the painkillers that always help me during these days. Hopefully, I have enough in my stash.

In the middle of the hallway, I start to ponder.

Shouldn't it be my turn by now too?

It's early October. The last time I had my period... I have no idea. When was that, actually?

The intense training has consumed me to the point that I can't remember. Lost in thought, I continue walking, open the door to my room, and head toward the shelf where I keep my emergency pharmacy.

What if Maxime was right, and I'm pushing myself too hard? A missed period is unfortunately a clear sign of that.

No, it doesn't matter right now. Two weeks before the championship, taking it easy isn't an option. In the end, it's nothing to worry about. Many dancers have irregular cycles. Competitive sports have their downsides too.

I grab the painkiller and hurry back to the kitchen to join Sky. I fill a glass with water for her and hand it over along with the tablet across the kitchen counter.

She looks as pale as the wall behind her. Her lips press together tightly as she takes the pill from my hand. "I hope this really is a miracle cure."

With a fervent nod, I circle the kitchen counter. "Trust me. You'll feel better in half an hour, at the latest."

She sighs, reaching for the glass of water, while I sink back onto the stool. I leave the apple slice from earlier and instead grab an orange slice from Sky's plate, taking a delicious bite. The fresh taste of the fruit spreads in my mouth. Delightful.

I hadn't realized I was so famished. Heartily, I reach for the next piece. "Are you still going to eat this?" I ask, just to make sure.

Sky shakes her head, so I help myself. But as soon as I take a bite of the orange, I suddenly feel nauseous. My stomach is almost empty, yet it feels like it wants to expel a lot of content.

"Aurora?" Sky places a concerned hand on my upper arm.

I quickly jump off the stool and rush to the kitchen door. My bathroom is right there. Picking up the pace, I swing the door open and collapse in front of the toilet.

Oh.

My.

God.

I dare not move for minutes. When the retching finally stops, I slide against the tiled wall to lean on it.

"What was that?" Sky stands in the doorway with wide eyes.

Struggling, I manage to lift my shoulders. "No idea."

She enters the bathroom, wets a washcloth, and lowers herself next to me against the wall. "Today just isn't our day," she says, handing me the washcloth.

"At least we're there for each other." I lean my head back and gaze up at the ceiling with its embedded lights resembling a starry night.

With her legs drawn close to her body, she groans softly. "We make a great team," she confirms with a touch of irony. Suddenly, I feel her piercing gaze on my face. "We know what's going on with me, but what about you?"

"Perhaps it's food poisoning?" I wonder aloud. What did we eat yesterday in Giverny? Cheese, grapes, baguette. Maybe it was the Comté? Can hard cheese even go bad?

"Where were you yesterday?" Curiosity fills her voice. "And with whom?"

How I wish I could tell her about our excursion and show her the pictures we took at that romantic spot by the water lilies. Where we enjoyed our togetherness on a hidden wooden bench. But I can't. It will never be possible, and with each passing day, it feels more agonizing.

However, she could at least know that there is someone. I don't have to tell her who it is; she probably already suspects it from weeks ago.

"I was at work, where I ate, and then I went to yoga," I reply anyway. Before I reveal even a part of my secret to her, I need to discuss it with Maxime.

Her eyebrows knit together. "How long do you plan on lying to me?"

The disappointment in her eyes is almost unbearable. "I'm sorry, I can't."

"Why?" She sits up a little and stretches her legs on the fluffy bathroom rug.

No matter what I say, it would be a clue I can't give her. So I brush it off and hope she'll be satisfied with that. "It doesn't matter."

"You're with someone." Her gaze pierces me.

"Nonsense," I reply, my tone too harsh.

Suddenly, her eyes widen. "Oh my goodness..."

What? Why o h my goodness ?

In shock, she grasps my upper arms. "I know what's going on with you."

No, please, this can't be true. She can't know, it's impossible. Maxime and I have been extremely careful not to be discovered. No one at the academy has ever seen us together.

"You're pregnant," she insists.

Instinctively, I shake my head. We've always been careful with contraception. There's no way anything could have happened. "Impossible," I say, hoping she doesn't misinterpret the panic in my voice.

Instead of responding, she raises her eyebrows. For a few seconds, we lock eyes, and at that moment, hundreds of scenes play out simultaneously in my mind.

Maxime and I in his bed. On the kitchen counter. In the dressing room.

The lack of energy during training.

The dizziness during our stroll through Rambouillet.

The missed period.

And now, morning sickness too.

Swallowing hard, I fix on Sky, in whose eyes more and more pity is emerging. My hands find their way to my breasts without my intervention.

Are they swollen?

Perhaps.

What if one of the condoms was faulty?

Oh God.

With the force of a tsunami, an unprecedented panic overwhelms me.

This can't be true.

It just can't be true.

My life. My future. My dream.

Everything could crumble.

"A test. I need to..." I mumble, my voice barely audible, pushing myself up from the floor, though I doubt my legs are strong enough to carry me to the pharmacy.