The Dance We Remember (Love and Other Dreams #4)

Chapter 34

Maxime

Every fiber of my body is on high alert. Where is this conversation leading? Could it be that she's suggesting...?

"You have to keep dancing, Maxime. That's what I mean." She tries to show me her strength, but I can hear the trembling in her voice. I notice her restless gaze and the fidgety movements as she pulls the sleeves of her sweater over her fingertips.

The sea rages behind her. Inside me, a storm is brewing. And a future is building between us that I don't want to see. "You mean...?" I ask.

She nods. "As long as I can't do it, you need another dance partner."

That's out of the question. More than that, the idea is so absurd that I don't even know how to respond. Has she lost her mind?

"No," I finally say. "I don't want to dance with anyone else but you."

"I know that." A melancholic smile graces her face, then she bites her lip. "But it's not possible." Breathlessly, she places her hand on my heart. "You might no longer be able to dance with me, but I'm asking you to do it for me."

Dance for her?

By choosing a new dance partner?

The mere thought feels wrong. Aurora and I belong together, in life and on the dance floor.

Defiantly, I shake my head. Before Madame Durand paired Aurora and me as dance partners, I didn't even have one. "I don't need anyone; I'll just work as a trainer. That's enough for me."

I hope she doesn't hear that it's not the whole truth. Even if it would be enough for me, Madame Durand expects something else from me now.

"I've seen how much you enjoyed the performances. Besides, you have too much to offer to the world of dance to hide behind the academy's walls." A fighting spirit ignites in her gaze. "Please, it would make me happy," she implores.

She's lying to me. Or is she?

I study her, trying to discern if it truly is her wish. However hard I strain, I can't find the answer in her eyes.

We stand tightly embraced at the railing, swaying to balance the motion of the boat.

Physically, we're so close, our movements forming a unity, yet at the same time, I've never felt further away from her than at this moment.

Still, I realize that this could be the solution to our problems. My place at the academy would be secured. Our future as dance partners would be secured.

"Do you really want this?" I ask, my voice filled with too much hope.

With a strained breath, she nods. "With all my heart."

"Why?" The question slips from my lips before I can stop it. It weighs heavily on my soul.

Aurora's gaze gets lost in the expanse of the surrounding sea. Don't make it so hard for me, Maxime , I read in her expression. Or maybe it's just what I want to read, and she's thinking something completely different.

I force her to look at me. "Why?" I repeat because I just have to know.

Suddenly, her eyes glisten with tears. "Because I want nothing more than for you to be happy."

And she thinks I'd be happy with a new dance partner? "But I am. With you," I reply with force, but it sounds half-hearted. I wouldn't be happier with someone else as my dance partner, but I would certainly have fewer worries.

She blinks rapidly and takes hold of my hands. "You've already lost too much. Don't let yourself lose your dream as well."

I feel the strong pressure of her fingers on mine. She can't know about the deal I made with Madame Durand. But she knows how much my life depends on the academy.

She's letting me go.

Has she given up on us? Or is she doing it for my sake?

All these questions linger unspoken between us. And once again, I realize that it can't go on like this. Since my conversation with David, I've been gathering the courage to do the right thing at the right moment.

Now that moment has come.

Even though it could go wrong, we have to be honest with each other. And I'll start now.

"No, Aurora, you don't even know what you want," I say, finally addressing what I couldn't before. I fix my gaze on her intently. "You're not okay."

She gasps for breath. "That's not..."

It hurts. Everywhere. But it has to be done. "Neither of us is doing well," I say gently, stroking her cheeks. "And if we force ourselves to suppress it—which we would do if I danced with someone else—it will consume us one day."

With wide eyes, she stares at me. She's never seen me like this, and she's not alone in that. This is new territory for me. It definitely feels wrong. Especially when suddenly all her facial muscles give in at once. "We're not doing that. We'll fight back," she says.

Part of me wanted to hear exactly that, but that's not important. Only the truth matters. "What happened was terrible. It's completely normal for it to throw us off track."

She nods. "I'm sorry."

"We'll take as much time as we need." I haven't shown her much of my own grief so far. Maybe that was wrong. Perhaps I should have openly said that my heart, too, is broken. "Both of us need to move past this."

Her eyes fill with tears again.

"I don't want this distance between us. We have to talk about everything weighing on us," I say with full awareness that this truth could destroy us.

And then something happens that I didn't expect. My fear loses its grip on me. All the burden falls off me.

She breathes out shakily, then wraps her arms around me. "Okay," she whispers, barely audible. "Asking you not to dance without me is not easy."

Finally, she's honest with me too. I breathe a sigh of relief.

"But there's no other way, and you know that as well as I do. Nothing will change between us, Maxime." How certain she sounds. Almost as if she's trying to convince herself as well.

Again, I search for signs of her true feelings. Again, I feel I can't settle for anything less until everything has been said. "And what if I don't want to dance without you?" I ask.

"Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to. That's life," she replies, exhausted. "Don't you long for us to be happy again?"

"Every single day."

Choosing a new dance partner is probably wrong, and it will never be right.

But right now, it seems to be the only way for us to move forward. Aurora will have time to recover without the pressure of dancing again, and I will have the chance to dance a new life into existence for both of us.

Everything inside me feels like it is cooling down a little, yet I nod. "Okay, I'll do it. For us."

"Thank you, that means everything to me." For the first time since the miscarriage, I see her smile genuinely. That's all I need to know that my decision is right.

Breathing a sigh of relief, she comes closer and kisses me. For minutes, all we do is melt into each other. When we part, I feel liberated. And I can even sense that she feels the same way.

It was right to finally talk about all of this, and at this moment, I swear to myself that I'll never let it get this far again.

Together, we turn our gaze to the wild beauty of the sea. Behind the mist, the archipelago emerges, barely visible but still there.

"Look over there," Aurora exclaims. Her index finger points at the water. "Are those dolphins?"

I lean over the railing as far as I can. Indeed! Three of the graceful creatures glide through the water about twenty yards away. Their bodies emerge between the waves again and again.

I reach for the zipper of my jacket to take out my phone from the inside pocket. "Wow. We have to photograph that."

"Already done." Aurora shows me the picture she took.

I beam at her. "That's going into our memory box."

Even in ten or twenty years, it will remind us of this day.

It will forever stand for the moment when we decided to show our destiny together that only we ourselves choose the paths we walk.