The Darkest Crown (The Eternal Darkness Duet #2)

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

I woke up crying again. I’d been dreaming of Marius- of our old life together. We’d been lying in bed, naked, in a tangle of sheets. My head was resting on his chest, and I was tracing designs on his skin with my fingertips.

That was it. That was the whole dream. Just a flash of an image that I knew would be seared in my mind for the rest of my existence. I curled my body into a ball, as tight as I could, and pressed my mouth to my knees in an effort to silence my sobs. But what I really wanted was to let them out. I wanted to scream and rage, but I doubted the castle could handle much more of that.

It was strange, mourning a man I barely knew. A man who had imprisoned me, and nearly burned me alive. I tried to focus on those memories, thinking if I held onto my hate it wouldn’t hurt so bad. But those were not the memories that haunted my dreams.

When I finally cried myself out, I uncurled my body and pushed myself up into a sitting position. I wiped the tears from my face and looked down at my hands, still shocked that I no longer cried tears of blood. That was the only thing I’d inherited from Marius that actually pleased me.

I looked around the room and sighed heavily as I remembered. Eskel had brought me to Marius’ room. He’d carried me all the way up from the cellar. He’d been worried about me ever since Marius died, and finding me passed out on the floor next to his tomb probably hadn’t helped.

I groaned and slid off the bed, crossing the room to pull open the heavy curtains. Moonlight poured in, illuminating the room. I stared at the moon and imagined flying up to touch it. Then I shook my head at my foolish thoughts and trudged into the bathroom.

I took a quick bath, wishing Marius had thought to install showers when he had modern plumbing put in. But maybe showers hadn't been invented yet. Who knows? That I was currently living in a medieval castle was astonishing enough. I didn’t have the energy to contemplate how it had been updated over the centuries.

As I lathered my hair, I thought of Julian’s marvelous shower, wondering what it would take to install something like that in Marius’ bathroom. Then I frowned. Would I be staying long enough to warrant renovations?

I let my arms fall to my sides. Where else would I go? My powers made me too dangerous to live around other vampires, so living around humans was definitely out of the question. I’d have to live in seclusion forever.

Shampoo dripped into my eye, pulling me from my wretched thoughts, and I sucked in a breath before dunking beneath the water to rinse.

A short while later, when I was cleaned and dressed in a fresh set of clothes, I set out to find Eskel. I dreaded the conversation to come, but felt I should say something . If for no other reason than to assure him I was fine , and he didn’t need to worry about me.

Sounds of swordplay led me to the courtyard, where my guards were training. Gregor and Harald were sparing, and the others stood to the side, next to a large wooden crate which Allie sat upon. When I stepped outside, Gregor and Harald lowered their swords and turned to face me.

Allie jumped down and hurried towards me, a smile lighting her face. Alfred stepped forward, as if to stop her, but Eskel shook his head.

I walked further into the courtyard, meeting Allie in the middle. She started to lift her arms, as if to hug me, then let them fall to her sides.

“Hey,” she said, smiling brightly. There were dark smudges beneath her eyes, and I knew I was to blame for them.

I gave her what I hoped was a cheerful smile. “Hey.” I glanced around, nodding to the others. Eskel caught my gaze and our eyes held for a moment before I looked away.

“So who’s winning?” I asked, nodding towards Gregor and Harald.

“Me,” they said in unison.

I chuckled. “Well, don’t let me stop you.” I walked over to where the others stood, and Allie followed. She hefted herself back onto the crate, leaving me to stand beside Eskel. Harald roared and swung his sword at Gregor, and the fight recommenced.

The two warriors were a sight to behold, and for a moment I watched them, my troubles forgotten. They were evenly matched, and it seemed like the fight would go on forever. Just when one seemed to have the upper hand, the other would come back with a move so powerful the tables would turn. It amazed me that after centuries of sparring, they were still able to surprise one another. I’d have thought they knew each other so well by now, their moves would be predictable.

“Thank you,” I said to Eskel, without looking at him.

“My Queen,” he responded.

I snuck a glance at him, but his eyes were on the fight. I looked at the other guys, but they weren't paying us any attention. They were shouting, and egging Gregor and Harald on.

“You don’t have to take care of me Eskel,” I said quietly. I don’t know why I bothered to whisper. Everyone present could hear me, aside from Allie.

He huffed. “That is literally my sole purpose. We are the Queen’s Guard. We only exist to protect you.”

I scowled, feeling frustrated and guilty all at once. “I don’t need protecting. If anything, you need protection from me .”

He looked at me then. “You need to learn to control your power. Or do you plan to spend the rest of your life in the cellar?”

“And how am I supposed to learn to control it? Should I practice on you? Do you volunteer?”

“I do,” he gave me a wry look, “as unpleasant as that would be. But I have another idea.”

“Go Harald!” Allie shouted from beside me.

Harald looked at Allie with surprise and only had a second to grin before Gregor crouched and swung his leg, sweeping Harald’s feet from beneath him. Harald landed hard on his back, just as Gregor straightened and held his sword to his throat. The other guards laughed and hollered.

“Distracted by a beautiful woman,” Gregor said, looking down at Harald. “And now you’re dead.”

Harald grinned and looked at Allie again. “It was worth it.”

I watched the other guards all turn to look at Allie with obvious adoration.

“May we speak privately?” Eskel asked.

I nodded. “Yeah.” I watched Gregor offer Harald a hand, pulling him to his feet. Harald slapped Gregor on the back, laughing, and shot Allie another grin. “Yeah, I think that would be a good idea.”

W e walked in silence until we made it beyond the castle walls. I turned towards the cliffs and Eskel followed. He’d wanted to talk, but now seemed content to remain quiet. He was probably just glad to see me out of the cellar.

The night air was warm and heavy, and in the distance dark clouds were forming. A storm was coming. I inhaled deeply, feeling suddenly energized.

“So what’s your big plan?” I asked, looking up at the sky as I walked.

“Witches,” Eskel said, causing me to stop in my tracks. He took a few more steps, then stopped when he realized I wasn’t moving.

“Witches,” I repeated with disbelief.

“Yes.”

“Like actual witches.”

“Witches are real, and they can help you.”

My mind was spinning. Witches were real? “How can they help me?”

“They can create a shield around you, that your magic cannot break through."

“What, like a force field? So no one outside the shield could be hurt?”

“Correct.”

“Witches are real.” I said it again, as if repeating it would make it more believable somehow. “And their magic is strong enough to contain mine?”

“Yes.”

“They’re more powerful than me?”

Thunder rolled in the distance, and Eskel looked towards the sound. “Physically, witches are no match for vampires.” He looked back to me. “Not even close. But when it comes to magic- Marius was the only vampire to have real magic. And now you.”

I exhaled loudly. “Shit, Eskel, this is a lot to take in.” I looked at the storm clouds in the distance. “Marius accused me of being a witch when we first met,” I said softly, remembering. “I thought he was crazy.” I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. “Julian and Adam never told me about witches. I wonder why?”

“It probably never occurred to them,” Eskel said. “Vampires and witches don’t mix. They have their world, we have ours. It’s been that way since the beginning. Most vampires have never even met a witch.”

“Have you?”

“Yes.”

I looked at him questioningly, but he didn’t elaborate. “Why don’t you mix?”

“When Marius first started changing people, witches made themselves known to him. They were not pleased by what he was doing.”

I frowned. “Why?”

“They felt threatened by us. Until then, they were the most powerful creatures on earth.” Thunder rolled again, louder this time, and we both paused to listen.

“What makes you think they’ll help us?” I asked.

“I don’t know that they will,” he admitted, “but a vampire war would be disastrous for everyone. Vampires, witches, humans- It could destroy us all.” His statement hung over us, and for a few moments we stood in silence, listening to the storm move closer.

“Alright,” I finally said. “Let's ask them.”

He nodded once. “I’ll send a messenger tonight.”

I exhaled shakily, feeling suddenly hopeful and overwhelmed all at once. Then I laughed, causing Eskel to look at me with surprise.

“Witches.” I shook my head. “What else don’t I know about?”

“You'd be surprised,” he said dryly. “If you came up from the cellar now and then, you might learn a thing or two.”

I huffed. “Yeah, like how Harald has a thing for Allie?” I looked at him for confirmation, and he laughed.

“Harald?” He shook his head. “They’re all half in love with her.” My eyes widened, and he chuckled. “Like I said, if you came up from the cellar now and then, you might learn a thing or two.” Lightning lit up the sky and Eskel glanced up. “We should head back.”

“I’m gonna stay out a bit longer,” I told him.

He bowed his head to me and started back towards the castle. He only made it a few steps before he stopped and looked back. “Last night, when I carried you to your room, you thought I was Julian.”

I looked away, embarrassed.

“You thought I was Julian,” he said again, “and you were comforted by it.” I met his eyes then and saw nothing but understanding. “If he brings you comfort, you should have him near. Treacherous times lay ahead, My Queen. You’ll need all the support you can get.”

I was unable to respond due to the sudden lump in my throat, so I just nodded. Eskel turned and started back to the castle, and I watched him for a moment before continuing towards the cliffs.

The wind picked up, pushing against my back, as if guiding me, and when I reached the edge, I dug my heels into the ground to anchor myself. My hair was whipping around my head, so I gathered it and twisted the length around one fist, holding it tight. I looked down briefly, before lifting my face towards the sky. If I jumped, would I fly, or would I fall?

I don’t know how long I stood there before the rain began to fall. It was fast and heavy, soaking me instantly. Thunder rolled, shaking the ground beneath my feet, and I took a step back from the cliff's edge. The sky lit up again, and the hair on my arms stood up. I could probably survive a lightning strike, but didn’t feel like testing it, so I started back towards the castle. As I neared the gates, my eyes went to the treeline in the distance. I knew they were still there, probably wet and miserable.

I could hear the whisper of Marius’ laughter. Put them out of their misery and let them come inside.

I huffed. “Fuck it.”

I walked straight past the gates to the large open field that lay between the castle and the forest. I trudged across it, the tall wet grass clinging to my legs. Lightning struck again, and in its flash I saw them, standing at the edge of the forest, watching me. They didn’t move. They only waited as I approached.

I stopped at the edge of the field and let my eyes move over them. They stood a ways apart from each other, and I wondered if their temporary truce was over. They were soaking wet, their hair and clothes plastered to their skin. The same clothes they’d been in when I banished them. How long ago was that?

They both stood so still- so serious. They watched me without blinking, ignoring the rain that ran down their faces. I could hear their heartbeats, and I suddenly wanted to weep.

Instead, I jerked my head towards the castle. “Come on then.” I turned and started walking back, not waiting to see if they followed. But I knew they did.

The great hall was empty when we got back, but a fire was burning in the hearth. Eskel and his men were conveniently absent.

“Go find some dry clothes,” I said over my shoulder as I started across the hall. “Pick a bedroom. I’m sure you can find your way around.”

“Sarah.” It was Adam who spoke, and I paused before turning around. He looked so miserable standing there, dripping on the stone floor. It was all I could do not to go to him, as if he were the one who needed comforting after everything that had transpired. Then my eyes went to Julian. His face was blank, but his dark eyes bore into mine. It took all of my strength to look away.

“We’ll talk tomorrow,” I said, turning away from them. I could feel their eyes on me as I walked out of the room. Once out of sight, I picked up my pace, practically running the rest of the way to my bedroom.

I went to my old room. My emotions were already a mess after seeing the two of them. I wasn’t going to make things worse by staying in Marius’ room. By sleeping in the bed we used to share.

I closed the door and leaned back against it, closing my eyes for just a moment. Then I pushed off the door and began peeling off my wet clothes, as I crossed the room to the dresser. I put on some sleep shorts and an oversized t-shirt then sat on the edge of the bed.

“Now what?” I asked aloud. It was still too early to sleep, and I didn’t have a tv to watch. I didn’t even have a window to look out of. Marius chose this room for me when the sun could still harm me. Tomorrow I’d find a new room. One with windows. One far away from Adam and Julian. But for tonight I was stuck here, with nothing to distract me from my thoughts. I groaned and flopped back on the bed to stare up at the ceiling.

Still moping I see .

“Fuck you.”

When are you going to start acting like a queen?

“I don't want to be queen.”

Of course you don't. That's what makes you the right person for the job. You don’t crave power and adoration. You crave… What do you crave?

I rolled my eyes. “Some peace and quiet would be nice.”

Hmm. A quiet, peaceful kingdom. That does sound nice. You could make that happen, you know.

“How? I don’t know how to rule a kingdom.”

Neither did I, but I figured it out. And I was good at it, for a while. But when things got hard, I gave up. But that's not you. You're not a quitter.

I laughed harshly. “That's exactly who I am. I gave up on Julliard. I gave up on Allie. The second things got hard, I was done.”

That's who you were. You were weak. You were fragile. You were human. But not anymore. Now you are strong. You are immortal. Anything is possible now.

“When I was a kid, before my mom got sick, it felt like anything was possible. Like my life was going to be one big, fantastic adventure. But now I just feel hopeless. And tired. I feel like I’ve been tired for years.”

One big, fantastic adventure? You’ve just inherited the power of a goddess and become the queen of vampires. What could be more of an adventure than that?

I rolled my eyes again. “Well, when you say it like that.”

Forget the past, Sarah, and embrace your future.

“You want me to forget you?”

Marius chuckled softly. You won't get rid of me that easily.

The voice in my head was so real, I closed my eyes and pictured him there. I imagined that when I opened my eyes again, I would see him lying on the bed next to me. But I knew that wouldn’t happen. So I kept my eyes closed for the rest of the night, holding his image there in my mind.