The Devil’s Chaos (The Brotherhood #2)

31. Thirty-One

31

THIRTY-ONE

HAVEN

T he dim lighting and musty smell of this rundown dive bar were not my usual scene. It reeked of stale beer and cigarette smoke, with a layer of grime coating every surface. I huddled in the corner near the restrooms, desperately trying to drown out the haunting images from the video my brother had sent me just two days ago. I had spent the last couple of days hiding in shady dive bars in the crappier parts of the city, hoping to hide away from everyone that was probably looking for me, including Kai, my brother, and I’m sure Archer, after my brother viciously murdered his fiancee’s best friend. I had seen the news that her body was found in a church on the St. Mary’s campus, but they reported no leads to who might have committed the heinous act.

But I knew.

And instead of doing the right thing, I was doing my best to destroy my liver, avoiding any and all accountability. All I knew was I needed to do whatever it took to get the images I saw in the video my brother sent me of Lacey’s final moments out of my brain forever. This video was a warning—a reminder. A show of force to remind me who he was and who I belonged to. I would never be free. He would destroy everything and everyone I cared about if I didn’t step back in line.

The loud music and chatter of the bar faded into the background as I struggled to push the haunting scenes from my mind. Deep down, I knew no amount of alcohol could erase those images.

The girl, Lacey, was hogtied, her body tightly bound and contorted into a painful position on the stone floor of what appeared to be a cathedral. Her naked body trembled as tears streamed down her face. Her terrified eyes darted around the ornate-stained glass windows and towering arches. A thick layer of duct tape silenced her screams, but they still echoed off the sanctified walls. The camera panned to reveal my brother sauntering toward her with a long, gleaming, curved blade in his hand. Each step he took was confident and deliberate, and I knew he relished in the fear that radiated from her tiny form. A twisted smile played on his lips as he raised the knife to make his first cut. He didn’t want to just kill her. He wanted to inflict pain and terror until she begged for death.

The first cut was meant to scare her. The second and third were meant to torture her. The cuts and stabs after…those were meant to kill her in a cruel and inhumane manner. He wanted her to suffer. As her blood spilled on the ground, you could see the hope that she might make it out alive slowly fade from her eyes. Her body jerked and convulsed with each stab of his blade. Her muffled screams faded into whimpers and then silence as the life drained from her eyes. My brother took a sadistic pleasure in drawing out her suffering for as long as possible before allowing her the mercy of death. I slammed my eyes shut when he gutted her, her intestines spilling out onto her pale skin. His maniacal laughter echoed through the cathedral as they tied her to the cross near the altar.

Lacey was dead because of me. Because I had dared to defy my brother and tried to escape his iron grip on my life. He had warned me there would be consequences, but I never imagined he would go this far as to torture and kill innocent people to prove a point to me or to teach me a lesson. Her blood was on my hands.

I knew I should go to the police and turn over the video as evidence. But fear held me back like a vice. My brother had eyes and ears everywhere. One wrong move, and I'd be the next one strapped to that cold stone floor, begging for mercy that would never come.

Maybe that’s what I deserved.

I took another shot, hissing as the familiar burn in my throat returned. The bartender eyed me suspiciously, probably wondering what a woman like me was doing in a place like this. If only he knew the truth about the hell I was living. I glanced at my phone, the screen still open to the text message from my brother. The thumbnail image of the video taunted me, daring me to press play again. To relive the nightmare once more.

But I couldn't do it. I knew if I watched it again, I would shatter completely. The carefully constructed fa?ade I had built over the years would crumble, leaving me exposed and vulnerable, just like he wanted.

I closed my eyes, trying to steady my breathing. The stench of the bar filled my nostrils, grounding me in the present moment. I had to find a way out of this mess.

A hand clamped down on my shoulder, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. My eyes flew open, and I whirled around, ready to fight off any potential threat. But instead of my brother's menacing face, I found myself staring into the concerned eyes of the bartender.

“Are you alright there, miss?” he asked, his gruff voice tinged with a hint of worry. “You've been sitting here for hours, downing shots like there's no tomorrow.”

I swallowed hard, trying to find my voice. “I'm fine,” I managed to croak out, my words slurring slightly. “Just had a rough day.”

He raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying my half-hearted excuse. “If you say so,” he shrugged, walking away. But then he paused, glancing back at me over his shoulder. “Just be careful out there. This ain't exactly the safest part of town.”

I nodded, watching as he disappeared behind the bar. If only he knew the true danger I faced. The threat didn't come from the seedy characters lurking in the shadows of this dive bar.

No, the real monster was my own flesh and blood.

I glanced at my phone again, the screen now dark. I knew I couldn't stay here forever, drowning my sorrows in cheap tequila. Throwing some crumpled bills on the bar top, I stumbled out the door, the cool night air hitting my face like a slap. The streets were deserted, save for a few stragglers huddled in doorways. I pulled my jacket tighter around me, trying to ward off the chill that seemed to seep into my bones. The world spun around me, and I gripped the brick wall for support. My stomach churned, threatening to expel the copious amounts of alcohol I consumed. I needed to go home and shower, but that meant I had to face the truth, and I really didn’t want to.

The taxi ride back to my apartment was a blur. I vaguely remember mumbling my address to the driver before slumping against the window, my forehead pressed against the cool glass. The city lights streaked by in a haze, their bright colors muted by the fog of alcohol clouding my mind. The driver kept glancing at me in the rearview mirror, probably wondering what kind of trouble I was running from.

If only he knew.

When the taxi finally pulled up to my building, I fumbled with the door handle, nearly tumbling out onto the sidewalk. I managed to right myself, tossing a handful of bills at the driver before staggering toward the entrance. The doorman, Frank, always kind to me, eyed me with concern as I stumbled past him.

“Rough night, Miss Benson?” he asked gently, reaching out a steadying hand.

I flinched away from his touch, shaking my head. “I’m fine, Frank. Thanks,” I mumbled, not meeting his gaze.

The elevator ride up to my floor seemed to take an eternity. I leaned against the wall, trying to ignore how the small space spun around me. When the doors finally slid open, I practically fell into the hallway, my legs barely supporting my weight.

Once inside my apartment, I made a beeline for the bathroom as a wave of nausea hit me like a freight train. I barely made it before emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet. Images from the video flashed through my mind—Lacey's terrified gaze, my brother's sadistic grin, the gleaming blade slicing through flesh. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the memories, but they persisted, tormenting me relentlessly.

Gasping for air between heaves, I clutched the cool porcelain, my knuckles turning white. The marble tiles beneath my knees dug into my skin, forcing me to stay in the present. With shaking hands, I pushed myself up from the floor and stumbled to the sink. I splashed cold water on my face, the icy shock helping to clear some of my alcohol-induced haze. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and at the ghost that stared back at me—bloodshot eyes, sallow skin, and dark circles that spoke of a girl haunted by nightmares.

Staggering back into my bedroom, I went to the kitchen, poured myself a glass of water, and chugged it. Walking back into the bathroom, I turned the shower on and stripped my clothes off. I scrubbed my skin until it was raw and red, as if I could wash away the stains of my brother’s sins. I stood under the water until it ran cold, my body shivering and numb. Turning off the faucet, I stepped out and wrapped myself in a towel.

With a heavy sigh, I padded into my bedroom, not bothering to dry off before collapsing onto the bed. The sheets were cool against my damp skin. I curled up into a tight ball, hugging my knees to my chest, and squeezed my eyes shut, willing sleep to come and grant me a temporary reprieve, but I couldn’t shake the image of Lacey’s lifeless eyes staring back at me from that cold cathedral floor.

“Nice of you to finally come home, little lamb ,” Kai’s voice broke the silence.

I sat straight up, squinting to find him. He was sitting in the chair next to my closet, his blue eyes breaking through the dark.

“What are you doing here?” my voice trembled as I asked.

He leaned forward, his face coming into focus as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. That familiar smirk played on his lips, the one that now sent a chill down my spine.

“I think you know exactly why I’m here, little lamb. You’ve been a very naughty girl, running away and hiding so many secrets from me.”

He was here to kill me for what my brother did to Lacey.

I swallowed hard, my mouth suddenly dry. “I…I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lied, knowing full well he could see right through me.

Kai tsked, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “You’ve always been a terrible liar, Haven,” he said, his voice deceptively calm. “Did you really think you could keep secrets from me? That I wouldn’t find out that you betrayed me?”

“ Betrayed you? I haven’t betrayed you.”

“Always with the lies!” he yelled, slamming his fist against the wall. “You knew Lacey got into that car with your brother that night, but you said nothing. And now she’s dead .”

I flinched at the mention of her name. “Kai, I swear I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

He stood slowly, his movements deliberate and predatory as he stalked toward the bed. “But it did happen. And you knew. You knew what he was capable of, and you said nothing. You let him murder Lacey in cold blood.”

I scrambled backward, pressing my back against the headboard as if that could somehow protect me from his wrath. “Kai, please…I didn’t… I should have said something, but I was?—”

“A coward,” he finished my sentence.

His words cut deep, slicing like the blade that had ended Lacey’s life. I wanted to deny it, to scream that I wasn’t a coward, that I had been trying to protect everyone from my brother’s twisted games. But the truth was, I had been afraid. Afraid of what he would do if he found out, I told Kai what I had seen.

“I tried to stop him,” I whispered.

He scoffed, his lip curling in disgust. “You let her die, Haven,” he sneered. “You let him butcher her like an animal, and you did nothing to stop it. And the worst part is you lied to me,” he continued, his anger building. “You’re a fucking hypocrite, standing on your high horse and preaching about betrayal while keeping your own secrets hidden like the snake in the grass that you are. I don’t know why I expected anything different from a Benson.”

Each word felt like a slap in the face, leaving a stinging mark on me. I opened my mouth to defend myself, but the words died on my tongue. Deep down, I knew he was right. I had failed Lacey. Him. Everyone. My cowardice and silence had cost another innocent girl her life.

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, threatening to spill over.

“Kai, I’m so sorry,” I choked out. “I never meant for any of this to happen. I was just so scared of what he would do to you if he found out I told you. He’s a monster.”

“Enough. I defended you.” His jaw clenched as his eyes hardened. “What about me? Did you ever stop to think about what this would do to me? Lacey was Mila’s best friend. And now she’s gone because of you and your psychotic brother.”

“I know I fucked up. I never wanted this. I tried to stop him at the quarry, and look what almost happened!”

“Almost,” he shook his head in dismay. “What almost happened, but yet it didn’t.”

I stared at him with hate in my eyes. I hated him in that moment, but I hated myself more. “You know what, I’m not doing this right now. You can see yourself out.”

I scrambled off the opposite side of the bed and headed to the bathroom, determined to lock myself inside. As I walked past Kai, he grabbed my arm in a vice-like grip, his fingers digging into my flesh. I winced, trying to pull away, but he held tight, forcing me to face him.

“You don’t get to run away from this—from me,” he growled, his face mere inches from mine. “You don’t get to hide in your bathroom and pretend like none of this happened. It’s time to face the consequences of your actions.”

I stared back at him defiantly, even as my heart raced in my chest. “What do you want from me?” I spat. “You want me to say I’m sorry? That I regret not telling you about my brother that night? Well, I am sorry. I regret keeping it from you. But I can’t change what happened. I can’t bring Lacey back. If I could trade my life for hers, I would do it in a second.”

“You think it’s that easy?” he seethed. “You think saying sorry and offering up your life can erase what you’ve done? What your silence caused?”

I swallowed hard, my throat tight with emotion. “No,” I whispered. “I know it’s not that simple, but you don’t know him like I do.”

“You betrayed me. I would have protected you from that sick fuck if you had just been honest from the start.”

“Honesty? You’re really going to come at me about honesty? You fucking hypocrite. As far as protecting me…no one can protect me from him,” I spat. “Not even you, Kai!”

I met his gaze, my eyes brimming with tears.

Kai’s eyes narrowed as he released my arm. “You don’t think I can protect you?”

I rubbed my arm where his fingers dug in. I was sure there would be bruises tomorrow. “It’s not that simple. He’s always there, lurking in the shadows, pulling the strings. No matter how far I run or how much I try to escape, he finds me.”

“Then you haven’t run far enough,” Kai sneered.

I studied his face for a moment before speaking. “The first time I ran, I was ten years old. When he caught me, he broke both my ankles and then raped me repeatedly.” I pointed to my ankles where the scars lived. “The second time, I made it to Kansas City before he found me. He locked me in the wine cellar in the dark for sixteen days to teach me a lesson, starving and beating me. I was seventeen , Kai.”

Kai’s eyes widened slightly at my revelation, a flicker of something—pity, perhaps—crossing his face before his stony mask slipped back into place. “Why didn’t you go to the police? Get help?”

A bitter laugh escaped my lips. “You think I didn’t try? My brother has people hidden everywhere. They’d bring me right back to him, and then my punishment would be even worse.” I shuddered at the memories, the phantom pains of broken bones and endless darkness resurfacing.

Kai ran a hand through his hair, frustration evident in the tense set of his shoulders. “So what, you just gave up? Resigned yourself to being his punching bag for the rest of your life?”

Anger flared in my chest, hot and sharp. “You have no idea what it’s like to live this way,” I hissed. “The constant fear, always looking over your shoulder, never knowing when he’ll strike next. It’s easy for you to judge from your high horse as the son of the police commissioner, but you’ve never had to survive what I have.”

“Haven…” he started, his voice was softer now, almost apologetic. But I cut him off before he could continue.

“Don’t. Don’t you dare pity me,” I snapped. “I don’t want your sympathy. I want you to understand why I couldn’t tell you about my brother that night.”

I retrieved my phone from my end table, my hands trembling as I opened the message from my brother. “There’s nowhere I can go that he won’t find me. He knew about you and me. He infiltrated your manor and killed Mila’s best friend. He did that to show me that there was nowhere I could go that he wouldn’t find me, Kai. He knew I was at the manor the whole time. He wanted you to know that no one in The Brotherhood is untouchable. Everything he does is calculated and done to control the narrative. And my father is no better. My mother tried to run, and he…” I trailed off, my voice choked with emotion as I remembered the day I lost my mother. I handed him my phone and took a shaky breath as I looked away. He hit play on the video of Lacey, and I closed my eyes as the sounds of her screams played.

When the video was over, he was quiet. I waited for his response, but he was silent. When I looked up at him, his expression softened slightly, and he reached out hesitantly, his fingers brushing against my arm in a gesture of comfort. I flinched instinctively but didn’t pull away.

“Haven,” he whispered my name, his voice strained.

His touch was gentle as if he was afraid I might shatter at any moment. I hated how vulnerable I felt, how exposed and raw his gaze made me. I wanted to pull away, to retreat back into the safety of my walls, but I forced myself to stay still, to let him see just a glimpse of the broken pieces of my soul.

“Now do you see why we can’t be together? I’ll always be a Benson, and you’ll always be my family’s enemy.”

His jaw clenched, a muscle ticking in his cheek. “I don’t care who your family is.”

I searched his face, looking for any trace of deception. “You still don’t understand,” I insisted. “My family, especially my brother…they’ll never let me go. They’ll hunt me down, and they won’t hesitate to destroy anyone who stands in their way, including you.”

Kai’s grip on my arm tightened slightly as he pulled me closer. His breath was warm against my skin. “I’m not afraid of them. I won’t let them hurt you anymore. I’ll find a way to keep you safe, even if it means going up against your entire family.”

I desperately wanted to believe him and let myself fall into the comfort and security he offered. But the rational part of my brain, the part that had been conditioned by years of abuse and manipulation, screamed at me to run, to push him away before he got caught in the crossfire of my family’s twisted games.

“You can’t protect me. No one can. I’m too far gone, too damaged. I’m poison. I’ll only end up dragging you down with me.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

I shook my head as tears blurred my vision. “I can’t do this anymore.”

He reached up to brush a stray tear from my cheek. “I’m not asking for your permission. I’m telling you that I’m not going anywhere.”

I stepped back, breaking his hold on me. “This isn’t some fucking fairy tale where the hero swoops in and saves the damsel in distress.” A sob tore from my throat. “You have to let me go.”

His expression hardened. “I can’t do that, Haven.”

“Then I’ll do it for you. I told you at the manor that I didn’t want to see you again, and I meant it. Whatever this is between you and me is done.” Even as I said the words, it felt bitter in my mouth.

“You don’t mean that,” he said. “You can’t just walk away from this— from us.”

I laughed bitterly, the sound harsh and grating even to my own ears. “There is no ‘us,’ Kai. There never was. You have your secrets with your Brotherhood and The Hunt and the orgies, and I have mine. It was just sex, a fantasy, a momentary escape from the nightmare that is my life. But it’s time to face reality.”

“I have a duty to uphold the traditions of The Brotherhood.”

“Yes, you do.”

“What happened with Mila meant nothing to me,” he continued. “I was only doing what was required.”

“But it meant something to me . I am not okay with what you did with her, and it’s my fault. I went into this with you na?vely, and that’s my fault. I didn’t ask any questions. I didn’t look deeper. I should have stayed away from you, but I didn’t. I chose to keep feeding the flame, and I got burned.”

“What can I do to fix this?” he asked, reaching for me again, but I stepped back, putting more distance between us. “You’re scared, and I get it, but pushing me away isn’t the answer.”

I shook my head, my heart aching with the weight of what I had to do. “You can’t fix this. No one can. The damage is done, and the sooner we accept that, the better off we’ll both be.”

“So that’s it? You’re just going to give up on what we have?” His voice was raw with emotion, a stark contrast to his usual composed demeanor.

I swallowed hard, forcing myself to meet his gaze. “What we had was an illusion, a temporary escape from our fucked up realities. But it was never going to last. We come from different worlds, and those worlds will always be at war with each other.”

“I don’t care about any of that,” he insisted. “I care about you, Haven. I want to be with you, no matter what obstacles we have to face.”

“My brother will come after you, after the people you love. You have duties and traditions with The Brotherhood. Can you really turn your back on all of that for me?”

Kai’s expression faltered, and I could see the conflict warring in his eyes. He knew I was right, that his loyalty to The Brotherhood ran deep, as deep as the blood that flowed through his veins. But there was also a part of him, however small, that wanted to fight for what we had, to defy the odds and the expectations placed upon him.

“Haven, I…” he started, his voice trailing off as he struggled to find the words.

I gave him a sad smile, my heart breaking even as I stood firm in my resolve. “It’s okay, Kai. I understand. Your place is with The Brotherhood, just as mine is with my family, no matter how twisted and broken we may be.”

He shook his head, frustration evident in the tense set of his jaw. “It doesn’t have to be this way. We can find a way to make it work.”

“And then what?” I asked. “We run away together? Start a new life somewhere far away from the reach of my family and The Brotherhood? It’s a nice dream, but that’s all it is—a dream.”

“You’re just going to let your brother win?” His words were sharp and tinged with anger and disappointment.

“He’s already won, Kai. He’s been winning since the day I was born. Every move I make, every breath I take, is just another step in his plan to keep me under his control. Trying to fight against it, to break free, will only result in more pain and suffering for everyone involved.”

The sound of his phone ringing interrupted any response he may have. He glanced down at his phone, his jaw clenching as he saw the name on the screen. “I have to take this,” he muttered, turning away slightly.

I watched as he answered, his voice low and terse. I couldn't make out the words, but from his body language, I could tell it was important, likely something related to The Brotherhood.

After a few moments, he ended the call and slipped his phone back into his pocket. When he turned to face me again, his expression was unreadable, a mask of cold detachment sliding into place.

“Duty calls,” he said simply, his tone flat and devoid of emotion.

I nodded, understanding all too well the weight of responsibility and expectation. “Of course. You should go.”

He hesitated for a moment as if torn between staying and leaving. But ultimately, his loyalty to The Brotherhood won out, just as I knew it would. He took a step toward the door, his movements stiff and mechanical.

“This isn't over, Haven,” he said, pausing with his hand on the doorknob. “I meant what I said. I'm not giving up on you, on us.”

I gave him a sad smile, my heart heavy with the knowledge that there could never truly be an “us.” Not in the way he wanted. “Goodbye, Kai,” I whispered, my voice barely audible over my heartbeat pounding in my ears.

He held my gaze for a long moment, and his eyes searched mine as if trying to memorize every detail of my face. Then, with a curt nod, he turned and walked out the door, the soft click of the latch echoing in the stillness of my apartment.

I stood there, frozen, as the weight of everything that had transpired crashed over me like a tidal wave. The tears I held back finally broke free, streaming down my face in hot, salty rivulets. My legs gave out beneath me, and I sank to the floor, my body shaking with the force of my sobs. I don't know how long I sat there, huddled on the cold hardwood, my arms wrapped tightly around my knees as if I could somehow hold myself together. The pain in my chest was a physical ache, a gaping hole where my heart used to be. I had pushed away the one person who had ever made me feel safe, the one glimmer of light in the suffocating darkness that was my life. But it was for the best, I tried to convince myself. Kai deserved better than the broken, damaged mess that I was. He deserved someone whole and untainted by the sins of their family.