The Duchess Takes it All

Chapter Five

The first leg of the journey to Herringbrook was managed without incident. Aside from the fact that they had embarked upon it nearly a week later than when Christian had wanted to leave. The duchess seemed quite adept at appearing to follow his wishes while in actuality doing the exact opposite. Or, more simply, taking as long as humanly possible to complete a task if that task meant getting them on the road sooner.

But, now that they were nearly to Herringbrook, Christian’s mood was lightening. Something about the countryside had always calmed him. The cities were too chaotic, busy. He much preferred the quiet life in the country.

The young duke had napped or played with either his mother or his nursemaid Lucy the entire morning. Christian was delighted to find young James was a good-natured child. Inquisitive, happy, traveled well, enjoyed pestering Frederick. An all around decent little chap and travel companion.

After stopping for a couple hours for a bite to eat and to let the horses rest, they would soon cross into the estate property and reach their final destination within the next hour. Christian took a deep breath of the fresh air, glad they had taken advantage of the mild weather and left the windows open, though he was pleased the duchess and young duke, and the nursemaid, of course, were sufficiently bundled against whatever chill they might feel.

The duchess had taken her son on her lap and was pointing out interesting trees and animals they passed. The boy seemed mostly interested in playing with the ribbons on his mother’s bonnet. A sight that gave Christian an unfamiliarly warm, soothing feeling. His own mother had been loving enough, and he had seen her often. But their interactions had often been more formal, short visits to his parents’ audience chamber or visits from them to the nursery where they would ask the nursemaids how he and his brother fared before patting them on the head and leaving again. He had a few memories of being cuddled against the scratchy lace of her gowns, but he must have been quite young indeed. The older he’d gotten, the more formal their visits had become.

He would never have sat upon her lap, drooling and pulling at her bonnet while she laughingly untangled his hands.

“The estate is quite beautiful,” he said, taking in the rolling hills and pasturelands they passed.

“Is it much different from your home?” the duchess asked him.

“The farmland is much the same. You do not have the mountains of my country, though,” he said with a smile, thinking of the majestic peaks near his home. “And my estates sit at the edge of a forest the likes of which I have seen nowhere else.”

“You sound as though you miss it.”

“I do.” He gave her a wry grin. “But not so much that I will be hurrying back just yet.”

She laughed and readjusted James on her lap. “I would never suggest such a thing.”

“Hmm,” he said, his smile widening. “Perhaps not in my hearing.”

Her mischievous smile brought an answering one to his own lips. And, he noticed, she did not refute him.

“Have you given any thought to remarriage?” he asked before he could stop himself.

The duchess’s mouth dropped open, and Christian inwardly cursed. He hadn’t meant to broach the topic so clumsily.

“I…” She paused to take a breath and hastily glanced at Frederick, who was snoring against the window, his hat pulled over his eyes, and the nursemaid Lucy, who was likewise oblivious to the world.

She started again, a bit more calmly. “I beg your pardon?” she finally managed to squeak out.

“My apologies for my bluntness, Your Grace. I only meant to make conversation. And to offer my help if you do wish to wed again. I would be happy to assist in finding you a good match.”

She turned wide eyes to him, momentarily struck mute by his offer. “You…you would help to find me a new husband?”

Now that he was hearing the words aloud, he found he did not relish the idea. Though why, he could not say.

“Yes,” he said finally, though with an unmistakable reluctance he hoped she wouldn’t notice. “You are young still. Wealthy. And you have proven fertile.”

He closed his eyes briefly at her quick gasp. Good god, what was wrong with him? He couldn’t seem to stop saying the wrong thing around her. What to say next, he had no idea. Though perhaps the best course of action, since he couldn’t disappear through the floorboards, was to ignore that last remark. Even if his face gave him away as, while he couldn’t be sure, he thought he might be blushing. That hadn’t been quite how he’d meant to phrase that.

She stared at him for a moment, breathing in a deep breath, and then another, before she seemed to have enough control of herself to respond. Admirable. He’d have likely slapped the person who’d said such a thing to him if their positions were reversed. This woman had him tied in knots.

“I… Did you just…” She sucked in another breath and then smiled, blowing air out of her nose with a slight humming sound before opening her mouth to speak. And closing it again.

“I apologize—” he started, but she shook her head.

“No, no, it’s quite all right. I must say, you have quite the way with compliments, my lord. First, I’m an obligation, and now I’m a proven broodmare. I am quite the catch.” She leaned in and winked. “I’ll have my pick of Society’s litter, as it were. Excellent news all around, eh?”

At least she was laughing, but Christian just groaned.

“I do seem to keep putting my foot in it where you are concerned.”

She gave him a half smile that looked as though she were trying to keep from laughing outright. “That, my lord, may be the biggest understatement I have ever heard uttered. You do seem to have a particular talent for it. I must be an exceptionally inspirational muse.”

He gave her a sheepish grin. “My apologies for my bluntness,” he said. “I broached this subject due mostly to my capacity as the co-guardian of your son.”

A delicate brow quirked up. “Is that so?”

“Ja, meine Herzogin,” he said, betraying his agitation with a slip into his native German.

…

Up until that moment, the count had spoken only English. Excellent English with the barest trace of an accent. Even, according to her servants, when she wasn’t present.

That he was upset enough to forget that now was something Tamsin found inexplicably…intriguing. Though she objected to him referring to her as my duchess . She was not his anything and never would be.

“If you were to remarry,” he continued, “that would effectively change my duties as co-guardian, as your new husband would gain guardianship of the young duke. Though I would remain trustee of his estates and holdings.”

“I am aware, my lord,” she said, turning to look out the window, her amusement fading. She’d rather jump out the window than continue this conversation but running from one’s problems never solved anything. Even if she could fit out the window.

“I mean only to assure you that I will continue to perform my responsibilities regardless of whether or not my duties to His Grace change in the future due to…particular circumstances.”

She stared at him while discarding one response after another and finally said the only thing a lady really could. “I am pleased to hear it, my lord.”

He cleared his throat. “I must again beg your forgiveness for broaching subjects I am sure you’d rather leave alone. But, as it has now been broached, we may as well say everything that needs to be said.”

Well, at least they could maybe get it over with once and for all. “Very well. Regale me with your wisdom. I shall endeavor to remain conscious.”

A suspicious snort that hastily became a snore came from the direction of Lord Feldhagen. The count glanced at his friend and then back at Tamsin, his brow furrowed. “Are you always so facetious?”

She couldn’t stop a small smile from breaking free. “Not always, no. But I do try.”

His eyes narrowed, more in confusion than anger, it seemed, and she let out an amused huff and waved him on. “Please continue.”

“I only wanted to make you aware, Your Grace, that should the occasion arise, I would need to insist upon being a party to any negotiations over your future marriage contract as—”

“I fail to see how your involvement would be in any way necessary,” she said, not sure whether to laugh or scream. She was almost impressed at his audacity. “Your duties are to my son’s estates, my lord. And while you may be his co-guardian, I am the one who sees to his personal care and will do so for a great many years yet.”

“That is true.” His tone remained even and calm. The only sign that he might be growing affected by her responses was the slight creasing at the corners of his eyes. “However, at some point in the not-so-distant future, certain decisions will need to be made that could affect not only his personal future but also the future of the estate and holdings. Where he attends school, for instance. What bride he chooses.”

“He is not yet two years old, my lord. I do not think we need to worry about his schooling just yet, and certainly not his bride.”

The count flushed slightly again and gave her a vague smile. “Be that as it may, my point stands. There are considerations to be made regarding the duke’s more personal life that could greatly affect his business dealings. And your choice of spouse could affect them all.”

She blinked up at him, so many responses bouncing around in her head that she couldn’t settle on any particular one. Each time she took a breath to speak, words deserted her.

His brow creased in a faint frown as he peered at her. “I do understand how difficult this conversation must be for you.”

Her eyes widened. She very much doubted that. “Do you?”

“Of course. Like you, I have often found myself in situations in which duty must outweigh personal preferences. But I have always made it my main goal to rise to the occasion and perform my duty to the best of my ability.”

“As have I, my lord.”

He nodded again, a smile beginning to form. “I am glad to see we are of a mind. On this subject, at least.”

“Indeed,” she muttered. “However.” He froze at the sharp tone of her voice, and she took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. Assaulting the count in her carriage wouldn’t facilitate her goal of remaining free of scandal.

“Your concerns are unfounded, my lord. Not only would I never even consider remarriage so soon after my first husband passed—”

“It has been nearly six months, Your Grace.”

She threw her hands up. She couldn’t win. Her mourning stretched on too long for the count and not long enough for the rest of society. Even though, God forgive her, she didn’t actually mourn poor Rupert at all.

She took a deep breath. “I am aware, my lord. As you must be aware that the custom is to mourn for a full year upon losing one’s husband. At least. And that is just before I can fully re-enter society. I have no intention of dishonoring that custom.”

“Honorable, I am sure, but—”

“Even if that were not the case,” she said, not caring that she’d interrupted him, “I am finally in a position where, though I will continue to perform whatever duties are required of me—and let me make it clear, I do not consider my son or anything I do for him a duty—I am in the enviable position of no longer requiring a husband. And so, I will put your fears to rest, my lord,” she said, though it was none of his business no matter what nonsense he spouted. “I have no intention of ever remarrying again.”

The count stared down at her as if her words failed to make sense. Of course, a man probably couldn’t grasp why a woman would choose to remain alone rather than safely married.

James wiggled to be let down, and she allowed him to slide off her lap and onto the floor of the carriage to play with the little carved horse she handed him. She could feel the count’s eyes on her, but she waited several moments before meeting his gaze.

He gave her a soft smile that made her feel…disquieting things that she had thought she was long past feeling. And certainly never for one such as he.

His gaze left hers for a moment while he watched James before glancing back up at her. “Do you not wish for more children? Companionship?”

She cocked a brow at his rather impertinent questions. “I am happy with the child I have,” she said, smiling down at her son. “And I would rather be the master of my own destiny than have companionship. Besides,” she added, before he could respond, “I have companions aplenty.”

“The group of rather eccentric characters that I met when we arrived?” he asked.

Now, that did surprise her. “You found them eccentric?”

“Don’t you?”

“No.” But she paused, then shrugged. “Well, perhaps by society’s standards. Though they have not been judged for their eccentricities nearly as harshly as I. Even still, perhaps that is why we enjoy each other’s company so,” she said, not sure if she should be amused or offended at his apparent shock. “Even an outcast such as I can find friends.”

He flinched at that word, and she couldn’t help but wonder what events in his life had created such a visceral reaction.

“Well. I suppose I cannot fault your reasoning,” he finally said. “But I do wish for my own peace of mind that you would at least consider remarrying. I would be much more at ease when I leave if I knew that you were properly settled and looked after.”

She let out a quiet snort. “My apologies to your delicate constitution, my lord, but you shall have to find a way to cope, as I have no intention of wedding again, for any reason, least of which to put you at ease.”

“Fair enough,” he said with a chuckle.

They had turned up a tree-lined lane a few moments earlier and should be in sight of the house soon. Which would be a welcome relief even though she hadn’t enjoyed the time she had spent at the estate in the past.

James grasped the count’s knee and pulled himself to standing, and Tamsin started to reach for him in case he was either in danger of falling or irritating the count. But Rauchberg just smiled down at James. A reaction he probably regretted a few moments later when James held up his arms, obviously wanting the count to pick him up.

She couldn’t help a small chuckle. Especially when Rauchberg continued to look back and forth between the two of them as though he had no idea what to do.

“May I?” he finally asked.

She raised a brow, somewhat surprised he’d bothered to garner permission, but then nodded. He bent to pick up her son. And her breath caught at the sight of James in the count’s strong arms. She turned from it before she could get too emotional.

Perhaps the count had been right. Maybe she should wed again. She couldn’t deny her loneliness. And mayhap James could benefit from a father’s presence, although he had male companionship in her own father and friends. However, if she ever agreed to marriage, she would do the choosing. And she would make sure the man would not only be a good husband to her, but also a good father for her son.

The count kept one strong arm around James as her son hung onto the door, getting as close to the window as he could. His baby laughter mixed with chest-rumbling chuckles from the count had her biting her lip to keep from smiling as they rumbled up the drive leading to the courtyard in front of the house.

What was it about a handsome man holding a child that was so appealing? She’d need to keep James away from the count if she wanted any sort of peace of mind.

The house finally appeared as they rounded another bend, and the count took it in with great appreciation. Tamsin knew how he felt. She’d felt much the same the first time she had seen the grand estate with its pepper pot towers and latticed windows. Before she had known what a prison it would become.

“It would look quite at home among the hills of my homeland,” he said with a smile that warmed her down to her toes.

“A high compliment indeed,” she said, gracing him with a smile of her own.

Frederick and the nursemaid stirred as the carriage rumbled to a halt, and Lucy blinked in surprise to see the count holding her charge.

“Begging your pardon, my lord,” she said quietly, reaching out for the baby, who went happily to her.

“Not at all. The young duke and I had a grand time,” he said, tipping his hat to the now-blushing nursemaid.

Tamsin let out a small sigh. The man could be charming when he wished to be. She didn’t mind admitting, at least to herself, that she wouldn’t mind a little more of that charm and a lot less of his criticism.

He surprised her again when he hurried to disembark first so he could help her down. Her eyes widened when he took her hand. But after a brief hesitation, she gathered her skirts and stepped out.

Her legs, however, had a mind of their own after sitting in a confined space for so long, and her muscles tingled at the sudden stretch. She gasped as her leg gave out. But before she even began to fall, the count had grasped her around her waist and swung her safely to the ground.

Yet still…he did not let her go.