CHAPTER 25
Amelia’s vision blurred, and she turned away from her husband. She couldn’t think straight. Not with him standing right there.
Now that she thought about it, it made sense that he’d ended his relationship with Miss Giles when he’d lost his money. She’d just never considered the circumstances and how and when their relationship had ended with much specificity.
Honestly, it had been easier and more pleasant not to dwell on it. And why should she, when it hadn’t seemed to matter?
Only now it turned out that perhaps it did matter.
She closed her eyes and did her best to regulate her breathing. “Would your arrangement with Miss Giles have ended if money had never become a problem?”
There was a quick intake of breath, as if he’d immediately begun to reply, followed by a hesitation. She grabbed fistfuls of her skirt and fought the urge to scream.
“I see.”
She really did.
If Andrew hadn’t lost his fortune, he would have continued his affair with Miss Giles.
Florence.
Money was all that had come between them.
Well, money and Amelia.
Florence was the woman he actually wanted. The one he’d chosen, when he’d been able to choose anyone. Amelia was just the woman he’d been forced to let into his life by circumstance. For now, she was a novelty, but how long would that last?
When the novelty faded, she’d have to accept the fact that even if it wasn’t Florence Giles who came back into Andrew’s life, there would be someone else like her.
Andrew reached for her hand, but she dodged him.
“I care for you,” he said. “I promise, you are all I want.”
“You don’t—”
“That’s why I didn’t give in to Miss Giles’s blackmail,” he carried on, interrupting her.
Her lips parted. “What?”
Blackmail? What on earth was he talking about?
He moved closer. She stayed in place, relieved when he didn’t try to touch her again.
“Listen to me properly before you decide what to think,” he said quietly.
“All right.” She supposed she owed him that much. He’d been good to her.
His fingers twitched, and he curled them into his palm. “As I said, I broke off my affair with Miss Giles when I found out about Mr. Smith. I explained the reasoning to her because we were close at the time, and I didn’t want to hurt her without any explanation.”
Amelia gritted her teeth. Of course he did. Even when he was failing, Andrew did his best to protect everyone’s feelings.
“After we married, she made… advances toward me. ”
“She wanted you back,” she said bluntly.
He nodded. “Yes. When I turned her down, she became quite persistent. At the Winston ball, she threatened me. She told me that if I didn’t resume our affair, she would let everyone know how foolishly I’d lost my fortune. I’m sorry. I had hoped she wouldn’t go through with it.”
“So….” She dragged out the word, her thoughts whirring. “You didn’t capitulate.”
“Of course not,” he said incredulously. “I would never.”
She couldn’t decide what to think of that. On one hand, she was pleased that he valued being faithful to her more than he valued his reputation. But on the other, he’d made a decision on something that potentially impacted them both—as well as Kate and Lady Drake—without consulting her.
She nibbled her lower lip, wondering where to go from here. “Thank you for being honest with me.”
“Always.” It was a vow.
“It means a lot to me that you care for me enough to do that.” She rubbed at a tiny ink stain on her skirt. “But if you respected me properly, you’d have told me what was going on and discussed it with me before you acted.”
“It was my problem to solve,” he protested, moving toward her. “It was my fault we were in that situation.”
“Perhaps,” she allowed, circling around the chair, creating more space between them. It was difficult to think clearly when he was so close. “But a husband and wife are partners, are they not?”
He gave a short, jerky nod. “In some ways.”
She narrowed her eyes. “We agreed to be partners in all the ways that matter. As such, you should treat me like an equal and not a fragile flower to be protected from the hardships of life.”
He snorted. “‘Fragile’ isn’t the word I’d use.”
“Nor I.” She edged toward the door. “It’s sweet that you wished to protect me, but perhaps I could have helped. Maybe together, we could have thought of a better way through this. Instead, you kept it from me until you were no longer able to.”
He pressed his lips together, unable to deny the claim. “So, partner. What do we do now?”
She sighed, suddenly weary. “I am taking the carriage out. I need to think.”
“Won’t you stay and talk this through?”
“I’ll be back later. Just allow me some time.”
She left the drawing room and hurried up the stairs to change into a suitable outfit for venturing out of the house. Once her coat was on and her walking shoes ready to go, she tiptoed back past the drawing room and called for a carriage.
She wasn’t quite sure where she wanted to go yet, so she asked the driver to go in the general direction of Hyde Park while she figured it out. A footman helped her inside and closed the door. She got comfortable and gazed out the window as they eased into motion.
They passed through the streets of Mayfair. It was still relatively early for a Saturday, so only a few people were out and about.
They drove past a street market, and she considered asking to stop but decided she’d better not without a maid. One could never trust how safe one would be in such a place. Better to go in pairs.
As they drew level with the entrance of the park, Amelia allowed her mind to drift. First, to the future she so badly desired. She and Andrew, happily married, perhaps with a little one. She’d spend her days writing and checking on the baby, her evenings reading, and her nights tangled up with her husband.
But that was all a fantasy, wasn’t it?
It was more likely that she would end up pouring all her love into the baby, then writing, and reading before retiring to a cold, empty bed while her husband found solace elsewhere.
A couple of months ago, even that would have sounded like a dream, but now, she wanted more.
“Excuse me,” she called forward through the open window. “I’ve decided where I’d like to go.”
When she left, Andrew considered chasing after Amelia but decided it would be best to give her time to calm down. Unfortunately, he had no idea where she would go.
Would she be safe?
He hated to think of her coming upon anyone who might be cruel. She wouldn’t have gone to her parents—that, he was certain of. Not after the way her mother had spoken to her. But she didn’t have any close friends to call on, nor any siblings.
Where would she go?
Damn, he should have asked before she left. Now he would worry until he set eyes on her again.
“What’s happening?”
His gaze shot to the doorway where Kate hovered, wringing her hands.
“Did Amelia leave?” she asked.
“I’m afraid so.”
She looked around. “What about her parents? Boden said they were here.”
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “They’re gone too.”
She frowned. “What’s wrong? Amelia and I were eating breakfast together when her parents arrived. I could tell she wasn’t expecting them, and it was early for a social visit. Something must have happened.”
He debated how much to tell her. He couldn’t in good conscience mention his mistress to his younger sister, but she did need to be warned of the situation.
“Word has spread that I lost our money and married Amelia to get her dowry,” he admitted.
Kate’s face fell. “Oh no. Does everyone know?”
He considered this. “The men at my club did, and so did Amelia’s parents, so I assume most of the ton has heard.”
Her shoulders slumped. “They will be gossiping about us, and not in a good way.”
“I’m sorry.” His gut squeezed. If he’d been a more responsible man, they’d never have ended up in this position. But then, he’d never have married Amelia either, so he wasn’t sure he could bring himself to regret it.
She gasped, her eyes widening. “Poor Amelia.” She bit her lip. “Surely people know you care for her and this isn’t just a marriage of convenience?”
He was already shaking his head. “I’ve found that people tend to believe whatever story is the most compelling. No doubt they’ll be saying that she bought and paid for an unwilling but impoverished husband.”
It wasn’t completely untrue, but it wasn’t the whole story either.
“Is that why she left? She was upset?”
“Yes.”
She clenched and unclenched her fists. “But where would she go?”
“I don’t know.” He hesitated, then asked, “Could you please get Mother? We need to decide how we’re going to deal with this.”
Lady Drake had more experience with the whims of society than he did. She’d be the one best placed to guide their next steps.
“Of course.” Kate backed out of the doorway. “Is there anything else I can do? ”
“Not right now. Well, perhaps we could use some more tea,” he amended. Having something to do would make her feel better, even as menial a task as requesting another tea tray.
Kate nodded and glided away.
Andrew sat on the chaise. He crossed his legs and tapped one foot on the ground while he waited for his mother and sister to reappear.
When his mother entered, she took one look at him and grimaced. “Kate said you have bad news for me.”
“Have a seat.” He patted the cushion beside him. “You remember how I warned you that Mrs. Giles may cause some trouble?”
“Yes.” She stacked her hands on her lap. “Has she started spreading rumors as she threatened to?”
“Yes, unfortunately. Mrs. Hart was here asking about it this morning, and the gentlemen at my club know too. There is no avoiding this.”
Kate breezed into the room with Mrs. Smythe behind her. She waved her hand toward the table. “Please set the tea tray there, Mrs. Smythe.”
A maid cleared the existing tray, and Mrs. Smythe set the new tea tray down. “Would you like me to pour?”
“No,” Lady Drake said. “I’ll take care of it.”
Mrs. Smythe curtsied, and she and the maid left the room.
Kate sat on one of the chairs nearest to the chaise. “So, how shall we proceed?”
Andrew cleared his throat as Lady Drake got up and started fixing the tea. “You, my dear, will return to your chambers while Mother and I decide on that.”
“But that’s not fair,” Kate protested. “This affects me as much as it does you. Why can’t I help?”
“Because some of the things we need to talk about aren’t meant for delicate ears,” he said .
Kate looked between the two of them. “What aren’t you telling me?”
Andrew sighed. “Just that there is a reason this rumor has spread now. You don’t need to trouble yourself with the details, but Mother has experience that might be useful, and her ears are not as innocent as yours.”
Kate pouted. “Mother, can’t I stay? I’m old enough. I’ll be out next season.”
Lady Drake pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’m afraid your brother is right. He and I have things to discuss that are best said in private. We will let you know what we decide to do as soon as possible. You don’t need to worry about being left out.”
“Fine,” Kate huffed. “You had better be telling the truth.” She stood and, reluctantly, walked out of the room.
Lady Drake handed Andrew a cup of tea. “Here you go,” she said. “I added plenty of sugar. I know you like it sweet.”
“Thank you.” He took the cup from her, blew across the surface of the tea, and raised it to his lips to sip. “Just how I like it.”
“Tell me more about what happened with Miss Giles,” Lady Drake said. “You gave me the general details, but I want to understand exactly why she feels like she needs to punish you.”
So Andrew explained how he had ended his arrangement with Florence when he received news of the change in his financial situation. He told his mother how she’d hoped their relationship would resume after he married Amelia and how he’d disappointed her by turning her down.
When he was done, his mother studied him over the rim of her teacup, thoughts whirling behind her eyes.
“I can see Miss Giles’s point of view,” she said. “Her pride has been injured. But it was wrong of her to do something that hurts other people just because she has been hurt herself. After all, it isn’t as if you meant to upset or offend her. You had a financial arrangement that you could no longer continue. She made it personal.”
“It can be difficult not to take things personally, considering the kind of relationship we had,” Andrew admitted. “But I won’t tolerate her disrespecting Amelia. Amelia is innocent. She doesn’t deserve this.”
The corners of Lady Drake’s eyes crinkled as she smiled. “You’re rather fond of that woman, aren’t you?”
“I am.” He wasn’t embarrassed by it. “So, back to the matter at hand. What do you suggest we do to combat the damage that’s been done to our family’s reputation?”
Lady Drake leaned back against the chaise and pursed her lips in thought. “We are already planning a ball, so I say we throw the biggest, most elaborate ball we possibly can in order to show the world that we aren’t hiding. We aren’t ashamed. And once we’ve done that, we retreat to the country house for Christmas.”
He frowned. “But that would be cutting our time in London short.”
“I know.” She tapped her chin. “But if we throw our ball and then leave, we leave on our own terms. The ton will remember our ball and not whatever comes after. Because we can be certain that we will be a hot topic of discussion among the ton as soon as the ball is over. It’s best to be gone for that.”
He agreed, but he also wasn’t sure that fleeing to the country would solve anything.
Apparently seeing his uncertainty, Lady Drake added, “I don’t know about you, but I’d rather whisk Amelia away from here before she has to deal with a second round of gossip.”
She had a good point. He didn’t want Amelia to suffer more than she already had.
“Are you sure they won’t say we are running?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I’m sure some will. But if we depart with flair, then hopefully that’s what they’ll remember next season. There will be a new scandal before we return to London, which will dim their memories where we’re concerned. Perhaps another duke will marry his former fiancée’s twin.”
Andrew laughed. “Wouldn’t that be nice? But do we even have any more twins among the ton?”
“I doubt it, but I digress. All we need to do is make it through the season with our heads held high, and then we can recuperate in the country where no further gossip can upset your wife. Don’t forget, there is a possibility she is with child, isn’t there?”
Andrew startled. There was. Why had it not occurred to him that Amelia could be carrying his child at this very moment?
He’d thought about the possible birth of his heir in the abstract, but it had never quite struck him that his son or daughter could be developing even now. He and Amelia had certainly had enough sex for that to be true.
“Has Amelia said anything to you?” he asked, wondering if she’d given his mother any indication she might be pregnant.
Lady Drake shook her head. “I’m sure that when she knows, you’ll be the first one she tells. But she’s new to this, so she may not know what symptoms to watch out for.”
And she was out there on her own, without his protection.
He hated the thought. Hated that his past was causing her distress. He should never have let her leave. He should have taken her into his arms and held her until she calmed.
“Where is Lady Longley?” Lady Drake asked.
Andrew buried his face in his hands. “I don’t know. She left. She said she needed to think. But I don’t know where she would have gone. ”
“Has she told you any places she likes to go in order to clear her head?” Lady Drake asked.
“No. I’ve already considered the options. She won’t have gone to her parents’ house, and she’s never mentioned any particular friends.”
“What about places she enjoys visiting?” Lady Drake straightened. “The park, perhaps. Or is there anywhere she likes to go to write or read?”
Andrew snapped his fingers. “The bookshop! That one I took her to after we married. Babbles, was it? No… Babbington Books. She loves it there. I should go.”
He stood.
“No,” she said sharply. “Let me go.”
“What?” He didn’t understand. “I’m the one who sent her running, so I’m the one who should go after her.”
She pulled a face. “As far as she’s concerned, you’re the one who hurt her. Or at least, it’s partially your fault that she is hurting. She’s more likely to open up to me.”
He bit back a sound of frustration. He understood, but he didn’t like it. “Please bring my wife home.”