The Fallen Ones (Holloway University #1)

28. Lily

Chapter 28

Lily

I tried to find Caleb in the crowd later that night, but I hadn’t spotted him since he’d grabbed hold of me. Truth be told, he scared me. I’d never seen him so angry before. I was angry too though. He’d hurt me by running out the night at my apartment after our kiss, or rather the kiss I’d given him. I knew I’d hurt him with my words. All I wanted to do was talk it out, but not when he was being such an ass. I knew I needed to apologize and explain myself, but he really made it hard when he was behaving the way he was.

“I like this necklace.” Brandon reached out and lifted the locket off my chest Caleb had given me for Christmas the year before. “What’s inside?”

“It’s a picture of me and Caleb,” I said.

He raised his brows at me. “That’s the friend, right?”

I nodded.

“It’s weird you guys are so close.”

“He’s like a brother to me,” I answered, wincing at my words. I needed to stop saying that. The feelings I had for him definitely weren’t sibling feelings. The same went for Damien. The night in the car with him was still racing through my mind.

Brandon scoffed. “Babe. That guy wants you. Friends don’t try to get you away from getting asked to dance.”

I breathed out at his words, not believing them. Caleb didn’t want me. And if he had, it was over now anyway since I’d hurt him with my words.

Sighing, I scanned the crowd of partygoers looking for him, but he wasn’t around. My heart plummeted. All I wanted to do was make things right with us. Things weren’t good when I didn’t have him to commiserate with.

“You were going to ask me to dance?” I looked back to Brandon.

He held out his hand. “Will you dance with me?”

I hesitated for a moment, scanning the crowd once more. This time not for Caleb. This time was for the three masked men. It was crazy of me to think they’d turn up here in their masks to claim me. It was a one and done thing I needed to just let go of. Take the memory and just replay it because it wasn’t ever going to happen again.

I slid my palm against Brandon’s and let him lead me out to dance. He tugged me against his body, his lips a breath from mine as he ground against me. I wasn’t one to go out and dance like this, but I was angry just a little bit too. At myself. At the masked trio for not turning up again. At Caleb for confusing me. At Damien for being Damien and at Jace for being so calm earlier when I’d seen him. He blew so hot and cold I had no idea what was happening. One minute I thought he wanted me and the next he was just…normal.

It shouldn’t matter to me if Jace wanted me back. I was the one who ended it, but I had a lot of regrets in doing so. Jace was good to me, despite his wanting to pressure me into sex. It was the constant pressure that got me. But it was also my fault too for leading him on and making him think I was ready when I wasn’t. I had no business being in a relationship, but now that I’d gone through and lost my virginity and experienced things, I was starting to think I did want more.

Caleb was right. It was lonely being alone. I wanted what I’d had with Jace. I feared I’d screwed it up too much though, and fear, as I was learning, was a bitch.

Brandon’s hard-on pressed against me, making my face heat. He chuckled softly at me noticing. I’d drank enough tonight to know I wasn’t exactly in my right mind. I needed social lubrication it seemed to perform being human with people.

Instead of pulling away, I let my confusion and anger take hold. I danced back against Brandon, earning a sexy grin from him, his hands all over my body. Across the room, I caught Jace staring at me as a couple of the guys from the football team laughed around him. He didn’t look happy. It hurt me he was hurting, but I’d seen him with girls soon after we broke up, so now he knew what that felt like.

Not that any of this was his fault, but I was drunk and upset and just didn’t want to care anymore. I’d spent my entire life caring and I was so over it.

“Want to go upstairs?” Brandon cooed in my ear, his hands moving up my waist.

Did I? I’d wanted to try with just one person tonight, but something within me wasn’t feeling it now. Maybe I just had too much on my mind. Maybe I’d drank too much. Whatever it was, I just wanted to relax and have fun.

“No,” I answered, continuing to dance against him.

He let out a soft growl of frustration. “How do I get you upstairs then?”

I looked up at him. “Take me on a date first.”

He smirked. “You want me to take you on a date? You know you’re Jace’s ex, right? He’d be so pissed if I started dating you.”

“I think he’d be pissed if you took me upstairs,” I said.

His grin widened. “You’re right. OK. You want to play the long game. I’m in. Next Friday night. I’ll pick you up at your place. Dinner. Movie. Standard date stuff.”

“If it goes well, I’ll consider the upstairs.”

He chuckled. “I like your fire, Lily. I’m agreeable.”

I smiled at that. I liked he wasn’t so pushy and still showed me how much he wanted me. Maybe that’s what I needed.

The song ended, giving way to a faster one. I pulled away from Brandon, but he tugged me back and pressed his lips to mine. It was surprising, but I didn’t hate it nor did I try to stop it. I let him kiss me and parted my lips for him. He deepened the kiss until we were both panting before he pulled away.

“Friday,” he said, releasing me. “I’ll text you.”

I nodded dumbly as he winked at me and walked off to join a few of his elite friends who all cast quick looks at me, varying looks of cockiness on their faces.

“Girl, looks like it’s going well with Brandon,” Olivia said as I walked back to her sitting on Cam’s lap outside on the patio. He was engaged in conversation with a few other guys and I nodded.

“It is. We’re going out Friday.”

“Wow. I’m happy for you.” She grinned at me. “You need this. And Jace seems like he’s doing OK too. This is a good thing.” She slid off Cam’s lap and came to me. “You don’t look happy. What’s up?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Should I even go on dates all things considering? I mean, I broke it off with Jace because he wanted sex and a relationship and now here I am, basically doing that with someone else.”

Olivia sighed. “Maybe Jace was coming on too strong. You said he could get pushy sometimes.”

I nodded glumly. “It just seems dumb to me to be doing this. Like, I want to go out and have fun, but maybe I’m not equipped for all this.”

“Girl, trust me. You’re equipped.” She chuckled. “I say do whatever makes you happy. If a date with Brandon is it, then go for it. I would just be careful.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Brandon does have a reputation of being with a lot of women.”

“So did Jace.”

She shrugged. “Valid point. You’ll know when it’s right, so just go with it. It could be a lot of fun. Keep that in your mind. You’re just having fun. You can date and have sex and not be in a relationship. Friends with benefits exist, you know.”

My mind immediately went to Caleb. Quickly, I shoved the idea away.

“I don’t know. I just…” I sighed again, so unsure of myself. One moment I was all for things and the next I was struggling. It was like the night with the masked trio. It had taken them basically forcing it on me for me to relent and relax.

I wanted that again.

“You just what?” Olivia studied me. Her eyes light up as comprehension dawned on her. “You’re hooked. It’s those three guys from Satan’s Hollow, isn’t it?”

I winced as she said the words.

“It is!” She gripped my hand. “I can ask around. Maybe someone knows who they are. Then you can continue it if they’re into it.”

“Maybe,” I murmured.

“You dirty bitch.” She let out a loud laugh. “I love you. I’m going to make it my mission to find out who these guys were. Christmas is coming. It’s going to be my gift to you.”

I chuckled at that, something inside me really hoping she could come through on it.

“Have drink. Or five. Dance. Let’s have some fun tonight. Forget about all the dicks out there and just roll with it. Can you do that?”

I nodded and gave her a shaky smile.

“Good. And while you’re doing that, I’ll ask Cam if he knows anything. If I find something out, I’ll come straight to you.” She reached over and grabbed a drink out of the cooler next to us and handed it to me. “Drink. It’s time to have some fun.”

I took the drink from her and did as I was told, my body humming with excitement at the prospect of finding out who the masked trio were.

I caught Damien sitting in a chair not far from where we were, watching me, a drink in one hand and a joint in the other. Girls tried to get his attention, but he wasn’t paying them any mind, his focus solely on me.

My face heated beneath his stare and the memory of us in his car.

His face remained emotionless as he continued to watch me. Damien had a way of staring right through into my soul. He always seemed to know me better than I knew myself, but in all the dark, twisted ways I hid from the world.

I tipped the bottle to my lips, him mirroring me. As much as I wanted to go to him, I held back. I knew if I went, things would get weird. Like I may actually slide onto his lap and finish what we’d started in his car.

I couldn’t do that. It was way too weird. He was my stepbrother. Or had been, however briefly.

But I couldn’t deny there was a spark between us, one I knew could grow into a dangerous wildfire if I let it.

Instead of going to him, I gave him the smallest smile. His eyes sparkled as he stared back at me before he inclined his head the slightest bit.

That was all it took for me to groan inwardly, silently wishing he was one of the masked trio because it was killing me to know what it would be like to be with Damien Fletcher, my former stepbrother.