The Fallen Ones (Holloway University #1)

32. Caleb

Chapter 32

Caleb

“ I ’m proud of you.” Damien flopped down onto my rickety old couch and cracked open a beer the next day. I’d left them right after I’d fucked Lily and had gone straight home, hating myself for how I’d acted. She’d texted me that she wanted to talk, but I hadn’t responded to the message yet.

I’d gone too far. I was sure of it.

In fact, I’d found blood on my dick when I’d gotten home after vomiting in my toilet from the sickness churning in my guts over what I’d done to her.

“You shouldn’t be,” I mumbled.

“It’s too early to be drinking.” Jace eyed Damien from the other end of the couch with distaste as Damien sipped his beer.

“Shut up. We’re celebrating.” Damien drank again. “And it’s not that early. It’s Nearly four in the afternoon. That’s practically five, and you know what they say.”

“Well they are idiots. Have some fucking class,” Jace grumbled, looking back to me. Damien continued to slurp his beer, this time with a roll of his eyes.

“You good? You left pretty fast last night,” Jace said. “We came over because we haven’t heard from you. Figured we’d make sure you were OK.”

“How sweet,” I muttered.

“If you’re beating yourself up over last night, don’t,” Damien called out. “She liked it. She came so hard she soaked you, man. You already knew she wanted to be forced. You gave her what she wanted. For the first time in my life I can honestly say I’m jealous of you, Watts.”

I glanced at him, still feeling unwell over everything.

“I lost it. I shouldn’t have been so rough with her. I’m not that guy.” I looked from Damien to Jace, hoping they believed me.

“You’re beating yourself up,” Jace said. “Relax.”

I ground my teeth together, hating myself a little more.

“I just felt like I needed to prove that I wasn’t gross. That we could have something,” I muttered, feeling like I needed to explain it to them in case they didn’t believe I wasn’t a monster. “She said that shit to me and it got to me. Then seeing her with Brandon and it just fucking snowballed.”

“I get that.” Damien threw his empty beer can in the trash. “I’d have done the same thing, honestly.” He winked at me like he had a secret he was keeping. I ignored him.

“She messaged me.” I pulled my phone out and stared down at her message asking me to talk.

“And?” Jace raised his brows at me and sat forward in his seat.

“I don’t know. I guess I’m scared to hear what she has to say.”

“What could she say?” Damien stretched his legs out and gave me a pointed look. “She’s not going to say shit, Caleb. Stop being a pussy and go talk to her. If not for you, for us. We’re still in this shit even though neither of us got laid last night. Which, again, I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled at him.

“Find out what she wants to talk to you about. We can meet tomorrow night after classes and talk about it. I have football and need to study for some bullshit test Owens is handing out.”

“Pay some freshman to do that shit.” Damien shook his head at Jace. “Fuck wasting time doing bullshit.”

“Some of us like to make an honest go of it,” Jace shot back.

Damien snickered and looked around the room. “You’ll have to point me in the direction of all the honest people because I don’t see any of those pricks here.”

Jace let out a breath and shook his head.

“What do I do if she tells me she doesn’t want to be friends anymore?” I asked the question that was eating at me. It was one of the reasons I kept putting off replying to her message or going to her.

“Then you show her why that’s a really bad fucking idea,” Damien said. “God, Watts. I hope you’re seriously not this pussified. We saw the way you fucked her last night. You’ve got game. Use that shit.”

I shot him a sour look.

“Listen, Damien is a prick, but he’s right. If she says she doesn’t want to be friends anymore, then just talk to her. I doubt she’s going to say anything like that. Tear the band-aid off and just find out. The longer you sit here worrying about it, the more shit your head will invent. Just do it. We’ll talk tomorrow.” Jace got to his feet and nodded to Damien to follow.

Damien grumbled but got to his feet.

“We need to get you a new place, Watts. And furniture. This shit sucks. And why does it smell like grandma pussy in here?”

“Fuck off,” I said.

He chuckled. “Seriously, what are you majoring in?”

“Business.”

“Really? Figured you’d be pre-med or some shit. What are you going to do with a business degree?”

“Buy a bar and turn it into something fucking amazing,” I said, voicing aloud for the first time my plans. I’d been bartending for awhile now. I had so many ideas to make a place great, but I was at a hole-in-the-wall place and my boss didn’t give a shit if things ever improved. He was old and over it. Buying the place from him was a goal of mine. We’d talked about it at length before, and he’d told me as soon as I was ready to just let him know because he wanted out. The location was good. That side of the city was seedy, but it was improving and I could see things really taking off with the right businesses.

“Interesting,” Damien said, nodding his head.

I looked at him and then Jace. We’d never spent any amount of time getting to know each other. It felt like maybe we should since we would all end up together if things worked out with Lily.

“What are you majoring in?” I asked Damien.

He smirked. “Pre-med.”

I snorted at him, unable to believe what he was saying.

“What’s so funny?” He raised his brows at me.

“You don’t even do your own homework. Who the hell is going to take care of your patients for you if you become a doctor?” I asked.

“I give the bullshit work to lower classmen. I take care of what needs done.”

I scoffed at him and looked to Jace. “What about you? Law?”

Jace shook his head. “I’m going to play pro ball. Hopefully.”

He was certainly good enough. I’d heard scouts had come looking at him.

“And if that doesn’t work out? What are your plans?”

“I’m business as well,” Jace said with a shrug. “Take over my old man’s real estate firm. Then the city. Nothing big.”

I’d have laughed if I didn’t think it was true.

“Well, I guess we have it all figured out, don’t we?” I asked, looking from Jace to Damien.

“Now we just need the girl.” Jace visibly swallowed, looking vulnerable for the first time.

“We have the girl,” Damien said fiercely. “Caleb just needs to get his ass over there and deal with shit.”

“I’ll go.” I got to my feet, deciding I couldn’t take another moment of worrying and not knowing what Lily wanted or needed.

I followed the guys to the driveway and bid them goodbye as they got into their cars. I watched them pull out before I got into my car and left, heading in the direction of Lily’s apartment near the edge of campus, my heart in my throat.

“Caleb, hey,” Lily greeted me as she pulled open her door. She looked adorable in her white long sleeve shirt and tiny shorts, her dark hair in a high ponytail. I took in the brightness of her gray eyes, deciding she looked more happy than anything else.

Happy people didn’t tell their best friends to fuck off.

That offered me a little comfort.

“Hey,” I said, stepping into her living room awkwardly.

She twisted her fingers in front of her. “Have a seat.”

I did so, feeling out of place and nervous. The last time I was there didn’t go so well.

She sat beside me and turned to face me.

“Can we talk?”

“Of course,” I answered stiffly, my stomach twisted in knots as I waited for her to drop the hammer on me.

“I want to apologize about the things I said. You’re not gross. Not even close,” she said, in a small voice. “I was hurt when you didn’t kiss me back and really just felt embarrassed.” Her cheeks heated with her words. “I understand now it was a mistake and I crossed a line. To try to make it better, I said things that only made it worse. I’m so sorry, Caleb. You’re my best friend in the entire world and I shouldn’t have done any of those things. I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Ever.”

I absorbed her words. They still hurt because she said she didn’t want to ruin our friendship. What she didn’t know was that I already had. That was gutting me.

“Kissing me wouldn’t ruin our friendship,” I said in a soft voice. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I didn’t kiss you back. I should have, but I guess I didn’t want to ruin things I had going on either. I shouldn’t have gotten so offended what your words. I just don’t want you to think of me as your sibling. I’m Caleb. Your best friend. Never your damn sibling. OK?”

She nodded, her gray eyes wide. “I really didn’t mean it like that. I feel awful for hurting your feelings. You’re definitely not gross, Caleb. Like, at all.” Her eyes swept over me, her cheeks darkening to red again.

“You blush when you flirt,” I said, smiling at her.

“I-I wasn’t flirting.”

“You were,” I teased. “You think I’m hot.”

Her flush raced down her neck.

What I wouldn’t give to see her breast bloom red with embarrassment.

“You’re really good looking. You work out. You’re handsome. Smart.” Her face just continued to glow.

I let out a laugh, feeling relieved everything was getting better with us.

“Just say it,” I urged.

“You’re hot,” she admitted, twisting her fingers together nervously, her leg bouncing.

I smiled at how shy she was and rested my hand on her jumpy leg.“A-And if someday you ever want to, um, explore more with me, maybe we can do that.”

Fuck yes.

I maintained my cool, thankfully.

“Lil bit, for what it’s worth, I think you’re absolutely stunning. I always have.” I leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

She looked at me with parted lips, making me ache with want.

I pulled back, not wanting to fuck things up again.

“How was the party? I left early,” I said, clearing my throat.

She blinked rapidly for a moment as if lifting herself out of a spell and shook her head.

“It was good. Great, actually. Um, the, uh, masked trio showed up.”

My heart jumped at her words, but I opted to play it cool.

“Yeah? How’d that go? Get any names?”

“It was… incredible.” She got a faraway look in her eyes, her body relaxing. “I think they followed me home after, uh, we had sex.”

“You had sex with them?” I cleared my throat.

She nodded her head, a smile on her face. “One of them. It was so good. He, uh, forced me down and we did it right outside near the woods. Anyone could have seen us, but he didn’t care. He just…took care of me.”

“Sounds like you had a good time.”

“I did.” She nodded vigorously. “Only with one though. The other two just watched. So they must know who I am, right?”

“Sure sounds like it.”

She bit her bottom lip. My cock jumped to life in my pants as I thought about her plump, pink lips wrapped around my length as she choked on my dick.

Fucking hell.

Rocking chairs. Math equations. The fucking Krebs cycle.

“Gosh, Caleb, I had so much fun. I-I wish I knew who they were.”

“Why?” I pressed, leaning forward to hide my growing erection.

“Please don’t think I’m weird for saying this, but I want them. I want to know who they are.”

“What would you do if you knew?” I asked.

“I don’t actually know. I just… I’d like to maybe make it work. With, um, all four of us.”

I raised my brows at her. “You and three guys?”

She nodded wordlessly, her nose wrinkled. “I’m crazy, huh?”

“No.” I shook my head. “I think if it makes you happy you should go for it.”

“That’s the problem though. I don’t know who they are. I tried to take the mask off the guy last night and he just pinned my arms so I couldn’t. Obviously, he doesn’t want me to know who he is, but it seems unfair they know me and I don’t know them. Right?”

I studied her. She wanted me to side with her.

“Doesn’t it make it more exciting this way?”

She sighed. “Yes, but I just want more.”

“Well, maybe you’ll get it.” I offered her a smile which she returned.

“Brandon asked me out too.”

Her words were a knife in my heart. I really hated that prick.

“Yeah?” I cleared my throat.

“I know you don’t like him, Caleb, but he’s nice. He’s actually sweet. We’re going out on Friday to get to know one another.”

“How is that going to work with you wanting three other guys and going out with him?” I tried to keep the edge out of my voice as I spit out the words.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, what if this is just a passing thing with the masked trio? What if they’re not serious about anything? Brandon seems like he is.”

I forced a smile onto my face. “You’re right.”

I didn’t want to deter her going forward. Each encounter had her moving closer to wanting more in a relationship. The momentum needed to happen. We’d just have to watch her so she didn’t get too caught up with Brandon.

Her eyes lit up.

Fucking hell.

Her joy always did something to me.

Despite being pissed off and knowing we had to deal with Brandon, I sank back on the couch. She immediately snuggled up next to me and grabbed the remote, wiggling against my body as she got comfortable.

I grabbed a pillow and put it over my lap.

She just had that affect on me.