The Fallen Ones (Holloway University #1)

35. Lily

Chapter 35

Lily

I could barely walk. My backside felt like I’d been torn in two and my legs were still wobbly from one of my masked men’s forceful sex.

But god, it had been amazing.

If this was what I was in for, then I was so ready for more.

Of course, having my first anal experience in a library hadn’t been on my bingo card, but I was still beyond elated with the way I felt that I barely made it back to my apartment.

Who were these guys and why did I love their brand of affection the way I did?

I winced as I sat on my couch. I needed a hot shower in the worst way, but I also needed a nap because he’d taken me through my paces.

And I was pretty sure he used my tears of fear as lube to fuck my ass with.

I fanned myself, realizing that I was turning into one kinky bitch.

Still didn’t hate it. I felt liberated and beyond energized.

That was two guys who said I was theirs. All I needed to do was cancel my date with Brandon.

I bit my bottom lip as I contemplated it. What if they weren’t serious and I didn’t hang out with Brandon? I’d lose that opportunity. I was trying to let go and get myself to a point where a relationship was something I wanted.

Now that I was finding myself wandering that place, I didn’t want to screw anything up. I had to at least try. As much as I wanted to go back to Jace and tell him I was sorry, I pushed on, telling myself I cared too much about him to drag him down into my personal hell of indecision.

If I could just do a practice relationship, maybe I’d be able to go back to Jace and talk to him about everything. I knew Jace cared about me. I’d heard about him and Brandon fighting on campus. While it angered me, it also hurt me because I didn’t like that Jace was hurting. He acted like everything was fine. It made me want to go to him, but I wasn’t ready to face him like that, especially since my thoughts were so confusing.

I needed a lot more practice before any of that. Brandon could be that guy. Maybe it would work. Maybe it wouldn’t. I could fall in love with him. I could hate him. I wouldn’t know until I tried though.

I owed these experiences to myself. I’d wasted so many years holding back because of the trauma from my mom’s experience and death that I’d started to lose myself before I’d even found out who I was.

It still made me feel like a shitty person. Caleb and Damien both crossed my mind, sending my confusing thoughts spiraling further.

I was in the center of a real mess.

Deep down, I knew if the masked trio really did come forward, I’d fall into their arms, no questions asked.

I didn’t know what any of that meant and that really did frighten me. This was all new territory for me. Traversing it wasn’t something I knew how to do, so I was winging it all.

Groaning, I forced myself up and to the bathroom where I ran a nice hot bath. After undressing, I sank into the bubbles, letting out a breath of contentment.

I laid that way for a long time, more thoughts tumbling through my mind, but one that stuck was the excitement at the third mask man claiming me on his own. The anticipation of not knowing when or where had my heart pounding.

I made a vow to myself right then and there that I’d go out more so the likelihood of that encounter would be higher.

Smiling at the decision, I washed myself quickly, wincing when I touched my tender bits before I got out. Staring in the mirror, I grimaced. The masked man had left loads of hickeys on my neck. There was even a bruise from his bite.

Gingerly, I touched the bruise, hissing at the pain.

God, he was wild.

I quickly dried off and went to my room where I searched through my closet for a turtleneck. Finding my black one, I tugged it on over my bra and hauled on a pair of black skinny jeans. After doing my hair and makeup, I went to my living room, wincing beneath the pain I was still in.

It didn’t stop me from wanting more of it though.

A knock on the door sounded out, letting me know Brandon had arrived. I pulled the door open to see him standing in the hall in a blue polo and dockers.

“Hey, you look good,” he said, offering his hand to me. I grabbed my purse off the hook and closed and locked my door. I took his hand.

“Thank you.”

“You OK?” he asked as we walked down the hall. He hit the button on the elevator and released my hand.

“Yes. I’m great.”

“Are you sore? You’re walking a little weird.”

“Oh.” My face heated. “I-I’m fine. I was working out. Maybe pulled a muscle.”

“Ah.”

We stepped into the elevator and walked to the lobby before outside. We went to his fancy sports car parked in the lot, but he didn’t bother to open my door for me. I frowned at that. Jace and Caleb always opened the door for me. Hell, even Damien did.

Deciding to shove that idea away, I got into the front and put my seatbelt on.

“You know, I actually studied a little massage,” Brandon said. “I could massage you if you want.”

“Uh, I-I think I’m good. I just need to soak in a bubble bath. I’ll be fine after.”

“I can do that too.” He winked at me and pulled out of his spot before heading to the main road.

“What sort of music are you into?” he asked.

“Uh, a little bit of everything. There’s this new band called Bishop I’m really enjoying.”

“Yeah?”

I nodded. “Yeah. It’s a female fronted rock band. I love her vocals. They’re so deep and soulful.”

“Sounds good. I’ll check that out. I like when women sing in rock bands.”

“Me too.” I relaxed a little bit more, feeling like I was maybe making the right choice by going through with this date. Brandon seemed nice. Maybe he was a little too flirty, but I’d been with Jace so I wasn’t new to rich, handsome guys pulling that out of their bag of tricks.

Jace.

His face popped into my mind’s eye.

I missed him.

Damnit.

“So after college I was thinking about maybe just traveling.”

“That’s sounds fun,” I said, careening back to the conversation. “I haven’t decided what I’ll do yet.”

“Hey, making it through college is paramount. I say take some time away if you need it.”

I smiled at that. “Yeah.”

We pulled into the restaurant and we got out. Jace used to rush to my door to open it for me. Brandon didn’t. Instead, he waited for me on the curb. When I reached him, he held his hand out to me, and I took it.

We went into the restaurant and were seated.

“So. I have to ask. Are you and Jace over?”

I put my menu down and shifted uncomfortably in my seat. “Over? I mean, we broke up.”

“He confronted me as I’m sure you heard.” He gestured to the fading black eye he sported and his slightly swollen nose. “Told me to stay away from you.”

My heart jumped at his words, and I swallowed thickly. “I’m sorry he did that to you.”

He scoffed. “Don’t worry. I hit him back too. I just wanted you to know I think you’re worth it.”

I offered him a strained smile and looked back to my menu, avoiding answering his question about if it was really over with Jace.

The evening wore out with comfortable conversation. By the time we finished the movie, I felt content that it wasn’t a bust and I’d had a good time.

Brandon walked me to my door and smiled at me. “I had a good time, Lily.”

“Me too.”

He reached out and tilted my chin up and leaned in. I held my breath as his lips brushed against mine.

“There’s a party tomorrow night at Cam’s again if you’d like to maybe go upstairs.”

I breathed out. “I-I don’t know. I don’t want to jump into anything right away?—”

“I get it. Like I said, you’re worth it. How about we go to the party and see what happens?” His lips brushed against mine again. “I’m interested in seeing where this leads.”

I bit my bottom lip and nodded.

He chuckled and backed away. “It’s a date. I’ll see you tomorrow night. Pick you up at, say, nine?”

I nodded again. “Sounds great.”

He winked and backed away from me. “Have a good night, Lily.”

“You too.” I watched him swagger down the hall to the elevator. Once he was gone, I went inside and breathed out a sigh of relief.

I’d done it. I’d made it through a date with someone and it didn’t feel awful. That offered me hope that I was finally moving forward with my life and that maybe I could have a relationship in my future.

Jace popped into my head again.

I pulled my phone out of my purse and stared down at his name. Quickly, I typed out a message to him.

Lily: I miss you.

I stared down at the message, my thumb hovering over the send button.

My phone buzzed, Caleb’s incoming text flashing on the screen. I shook my head and navigated away from the message to Jace and looked at what Caleb sent.

Caleb: How was your date?

Lily: It was OK.

Caleb: Just OK?

I smiled at that. He was always looking out for me. I may have been mad about the way he handled it before, but I was grateful to have Caleb trying to make sure I was protected. He was all I really had in that department.

Lily: Yeah. Dinner and movie. I’m home now.

Caleb: He didn’t try to score?

I sighed.

Lily: No. Not really. We kissed good night and he’s picking me up to go to Cam’s party tomorrow night. Are you going to be there?

Caleb: I have to work.

I frowned. Damn. I wanted him to go. On the other hand, I didn’t want a repeat of his anger like he’d had the other night so maybe him not going was a good thing.

Lily: I’ll have a drink for you.

Caleb: Don’t. I don’t need you drunk around Brandon.

I could feel the tension in his words. I didn’t want to get into it with him.

Lily: I’m going to take a bubble bath. I’m really sore tonight.

Caleb: Why are you sore?

My encounter with the masked man in the library slipped into my mind’s eye, making my face heat. I decided against telling him about the situation since I’d already annoyed him with Brandon.

Lily: I did some exercising. It wore me out.

That seemed accurate enough.

Caleb: Well, go soak. We’ll talk later. Night, Lil bit.

Lily: Night, Caleb.

I darkened my screen and went to the bathroom to run my bath, my mind racing on so many damn things, but only one thing really stuck.

The prospect of the third masked man finding me and putting me through my paces.

Yeah. I’d definitely lost my mind.