The Fallen Ones (Holloway University #1)

38. Lily

Chapter 38

Lily

I stood at my easel and painted a scene I’d been picturing in my head for a while. Instead of my usual grays and blacks. I’d opted to use a rusty orange as I painted a meadow.

It was supposed to represent another world so I dotted purple and blue flowers across the landscape. It was coming along nicely.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I reached down and read the notification on the screen.

Brandon: We still on for our date tonight, beautiful?

I’d gotten so caught up in my artwork that I’d forgotten all about my date with Brandon. Not only that, the Fallen Ones had kept me on my toes. It had only been a few days before that one turned up outside Caleb’s workplace and had his way with me. While I wanted the Fallen Ones, I wasn’t sure if they were serious about me and unmasking. I told myself I’d continue on with Brandon though because he wasn’t so bad and treated me good. I knew I’d been told to ditch him, but I needed more than commands to change my life like that.

Lily: Yes, of course. What time did we say?

Brandon: You didn’t forget, did you?

His tone seemed a little off, but I put it down to my overthinking. I often thought people were angry with me when they weren’t. I was so used to that growing up the way I had.

Lily: No. I’m just checking the time to make sure I’m ready.

Brandon: I’ll come grab you at six. Wear something sexy.

I read his message and felt a little uneasy at his suggestion I wear something sexy. I guessed he didn’t mean anything by it, but it was a weird thing to say to someone you’d only just gone on a few dates with. It seemed like something you’d say to someone you were established and comfortable with.

I frowned down at the message and decided to just roll with it because maybe he was comfortable with me and it didn’t mean anything.

Lily: OK. See you at six.

I shot him the final message then tucked my phone back into jean pocket.

I worked a little long before deciding I’d finish my painting later. I needed to get ready for my date and wanted to shower and wash the dried paint from my hands and face.

As I got ready, I couldn’t shake my thoughts on whether I was doing the right thing by going out with Brandon. I felt like maybe I was playing with fire seeing him and letting the Fallen Ones have me whenever they felt like. They’d already made it known they wanted me to drop Brandon. It was the same old argument in my head though. With the holidays approaching, the last thing I wanted was to spend another one alone. I had Caleb, but I tended to shy away from seeing him on Christmas because I didn’t want to interfere with his family’s stuff. He swore up and down it wasn’t interfering, but it still didn’t feel right despite me actually liking his family.

Maybe having Brandon for the holidays could make it a brighter time for me. Maybe our relationship would blossom and become more. This little voice in the back of my mind said he wasn’t the one I wanted more with and I really did need to cut it off now rather than later.

I sighed, wishing I just had the answers to everything. What mattered most right now was getting the names of the Fallen Ones. I’d asked Liv for an update, but she said every lead came up blank. She was equally as clueless as I was.

Even Caleb had no idea. I’d have thought someone would have a clue and would have slipped up on it. Nothing so far though.

There was a knock on my apartment door as I ran my lip gloss over my red stained lips.

To my surprise it was Caleb.

“Damn, Lil bit. You look stunning. Where you off to?” His eyes widened as he looked me up and down.

My face heated at his reaction. He always made me feel so pretty.

“I have a date,” I replied.

“Oh, I completely forgot about your date. I just wanted to give you this.” He handed me a small gift bag.

“What is it?” I asked taking it from him.

“Take a look.” He nodded toward the back.

I pulled the bag open and looked at the gift he’d brought me.

It was a beautiful set of real horse hair paintbrushes and a tiny blank porcelain seahorse.

“I love it. Caleb you really shouldn’t have,” I said throwing my arms around him.

“I saw it and thought you’d like it. I remember how much your mom loved seahorses. I figured you could paint it for her.” His words ripped into my heart causing a lump to crawl its way up my throat.

“You’re going to make me cry. Thank you so much. You really are the best.” I hugged him tighter while fighting back tears that threatened to spill all over his shoulder. Caleb held me back. Having his arms around me always made me feel like I was safe and untouchable by anything that could ever hurt me or break my heart. He gave the best hugs.

“This looks cozy,” Brandon said as he stepped out the elevator and moved towards us. I pulled quickly away from Caleb and caught the look of irritation cloud his handsome feature as Brandon approached us.

“Caleb brought a seahorse for me to paint,” I explained, my heart racing as I looked back and forth between the pair.

“I’ll leave you to your date. Have a nice time, Lil bit,” Caleb said and kissed me on the cheek, completely ignoring Brandon’s presence. At least outwardly. It was the muscle thrumming along his jaw that let me know he wasn’t happy. I wanted to run after him and tell him it was nothing. That I was just filling the empty hours, trying something new, being adventurous… instead, my heart continued to hurt as he made his way inside the elevator without so much as a glance back.

“Here, let’s throw that inside your apartment. I made reservations I don’t want us to be late.” Brandon took the bag from my hand and tossed it into my apartment. It landed with a thunk onto my living room floor.

I gulped as I looked up at him and hoped he hadn’t just broken my gift from Caleb.

“I just need to grab my purse.”

“What for? You don’t need it. I’m paying. I always pay for my woman.”

“It has my personal items in it. My phone, makeup. Girl stuff.” I found myself explaining why I wanted to take my purse with me. It was more than that though. I wanted to pick up the gift Caleb had given me and properly put it up. The fact Brandon had just thrown it wasn’t sitting well with me.

“Like I said, you don’t need it. All you need tonight is this,” he said, taking my key out of the inside of my apartment door.

“I’d really like to take my purse with me.” I protested.

“Hurry up.” He let out a sigh, his tone letting me know he was annoyed at my persistence.

Quickly, I darted into my apartment. I picked up the gift Caleb had given me and placed it on my coffee table before I grabbed my purse and threw my phone inside.

“Got it.” I smiled, trying to ease the tension.

“Good. Let’s go.” He took my hand and led me to the elevator, his voice gruff.

By the time we made it downstairs and into the parking lot Caleb had long gone.

Once again Brandon unlocked his car and left it for me to open the door and climb inside.

“I figured you’d wear something a little more… revealing,” he said scanning me up and down as we got to his car.

“I like this dress. I’m sorry if you don’t. I can go and change if you need me to,” I said in a moment of crushed emotion as I stared down at the pretty lavender knee-length dress I was wearing.

It hurt even more because Caleb had said how stunning I looked, while Brandon seemed disappointed.

“We don’t have time for that. We’re already five minutes behind schedule because of your… friend. You sure there’s nothing going on between you two?” he asked, his tone clipped.

“We’re just friends. We grew up together. I’m sure I’ve already told you that.” I gulped at the thought of him being angry with me.

“It’s just a little odd. You seem to spend a lot of time together. I don’t believe in all that crap. A guy and girl can never just be friends. You’re naive to think he doesn’t want more with you, Lily.” He didn’t continue because he got into the car. I followed, closing myself in and clicking my seatbelt in place. I contemplated just getting out and leaving because I didn’t like his attitude, but I stayed because I wasn’t even sure how to navigate leaving the situation.

He started the car and pulled out of his spot before heading to whatever restaurant he’d made reservations for. I had no idea and I didn’t want to ask.

We drove the rest of the way without exchanging a single word. I’d been forced to listen to whatever he had blasting through his car speakers. It wasn’t any kind of music I’d usually listen to so I couldn’t sing along, not that this music had lyrics. It sounded like a huge commotion of pointless noise. I sat quietly and endured it, staring out of the window until the neon sign for Vermillion came into view.

It was an exclusive restaurant on the rich side of town. I was glad to know Brandon was paying because I’d never be able to afford to eat here or any place like this at all.

He pulled into a parking spot and shut off the engine.

“We’ll be lucky if they seat us at this rate,” he muttered, getting out of the car.

I sighed and exited the car as fast as I could. I knew not to wait for him to open the door for me.

“Come on,” he called out as he walked ahead and let the restaurant door swing shut almost trapping me.

He wasn’t much of a gentleman, but he’d made it clear he liked me. He probably wasn’t used to having to make an effort before he got the girl. At least I told myself that was the excuse for his behavior.

“Rogers.” He told the greeter as she waited to seat guests.

“Yes. Here you are. There’s still another fifteen minutes until your reservation, Mr. Rogers.” She smiled politely as she glanced at the guest list.

I looked at Brandon in confusion. He’d rushed me and made me think we were going to be late. He’d even made me feel bad for wasting time talking to Caleb, and it turned out we were actually early, and not by a little, but by fifteen whole minutes? I was confused by the entire situation since he’d been so adamant about getting here on time.

“Look, Miss–” He glanced at her name badge. “Tara, my girl and I would like to be seated. How about you do that for us.” He leaned in close across the greeter’s station.

“Sir, we don’t have any tables available for another fifteen minutes. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to wait.” She clutched her clipboard against her chest in a protective manner, her voice slightly trembling.

“I don’t think you understand. My uncle owns this place. He wouldn’t be too impressed if I told him I’d been made to wait. Do you understand where I’m going with this, Tara?” Brandon’s voice grew threatening.

It scared me, so I could only imagine how the greeter felt.

“Brandon, it’s fine. We can wait,” I pleaded, not wanting to cause any drama.

“Stay out of this. I won’t be made to wait in my own uncle’s restaurant. Especially not when I'm with you.”

An older gentleman joined us at the greeter’s station. “Mr. Rogers. Sorry about the misunderstanding. Tara is new here. Come follow me. We’ve made your usual table available for you.” He gestured for Brandon and I to follow.

As I trailed behind Brandon I wondered how many girls he brought here since the older man had said this was his usual table. Of course, he did say it was his uncle’s place, so maybe he just came here often since it was family owned.

Jace, Caleb, and even Liv warned me about Brandon, but I’d dismissed all three of them.

I shook the thought from my mind and took a seat.

“I’ll have a Steak au Poivre, side salad, and bring over some wine,” Brandon said to the waiter before turning to me. “Lily do you want the same?”

“Is it OK if I look at the menu a moment?” I asked hesitant and very conscious of the prices in these kind of places. I didn’t want to order anything too expensive and make Brandon think I owed him anything. It was too soon for that.

“She’ll have the same as me.” He ordered for me without giving me a second to look over the menu. “I hope that’s OK?” he asked after the waiter left. His mood had shifted and his words were more gentle now.

I smiled back at him, hoping the tension stayed at bay. “Yeah. It’s great. Thanks.”

“You do seem like the indecisive type. Why is that?” He fixed his gaze on me.

I searched my mind for an answer, but I guess I didn’t really have one. I found myself shrugging my shoulders.

“Don’t just shrug your shoulders at me. Give me an answer,” he said, almost demanding, the mood switching again.

“I-I’ve… always been this way.”

“You need to work on that. It’s not a good trait to have.” He offered me unsolicited advice.

I stared down at the table. I knew he was right. My indecisiveness had led me to this entire crazy situation. Both with Brandon but more so with the Fallen Ones. And then of course there was the individual situations I faced with Jace, Caleb, and even Damien.

“Lily.” Brandon’s voice interrupted my thoughts.

“Huh? Sorry, what did you say?” I asked, feeling embarrassed for not listening.

“Drink.” He pointed at the glass of wine in front of me. I’d zoned out so much that I hadn’t even realized the waiter had placed it down on the table.

“You feeling OK?” The concern in his voice seemed genuine. Again with the mood shift with him. It was confusing because I didn’t know which version of him was going to come out of his mouth. The nice Brandon or the irritated Brandon.

“Yeah. I’m fine. I’ve just been so focused on my artwork lately. You know, I’ve been thinking lately that I want to open my own art studio after college,” I replied.

“Well, who knows, if you end up on my arm you won’t have to worry about anything in life again. You can stay at home and paint all you like. You won’t need to open up some hippie studio.” He gave me a grin as if I’d agreed to his outlandish plan.

“I wouldn’t want to live off someone else like that. I want to sell my artwork and make my own money.”

I grabbed hold of my wine glass and took a nervous sip. If this was how our night was going to go, I didn’t see it ending well.

“That’s admirable and all, but why work when you could have a man provide for you? I’d always provide for my girl. She’d never want for anything. You’d never want for anything, Lily. Besides, is your artwork really that good to be able to live off?” He raised his brows at me.

I offered him a shaky smile, my face heating at his rude words.

“Two Steaks au Poivre and side salads,” the waiter spoke softly as he took our plates from his serving platter and set them down in front of us.

“Thank you, Miguel,” Brandon said.

“You know the waiter?” I asked curiously.

“Of course I do. It’s my uncle’s restaurant. Miguel is the Head waiter. He’s loyal and has worked here since I was a kid. He’s practically family.” Brandon gushed over the older waiter.

Seeing him do so relaxed me. He’d hurt my feelings by suggesting my artwork wasn’t good, but art was subjective. It didn’t mean someone else wouldn’t love it if he didn’t.

He offered me what seemed like a genuine smile. “Eat. You’ll love it.”

It set the tone for the rest of the date. He relaxed after the food arrive and conversation flowed easier. We both laughed and shared a few personal details with one another. I was surprised when Brandon told me how sorry he was about my mom passing away.

I quickly shut the conversation down. Talking about my mom and all the issues I had didn’t seem like good date conversation and I was already feeling emotional enough after Caleb’s seahorse gift.

The date was soon over. Brandon paid the bill and gave Miguel a generous tip. He even tipped the new greeter and apologized for his earlier attitude toward her.

Maybe he wasn’t the douchebag everyone told me he was.

We made our way back to his car. He still didn’t open the door for me but I overlooked it once more.

“You choose the music,” he said and directed me towards the touch screen.

I scrolled through until I found a song I actually knew. I was soon singing along.

Brandon drove fast– but not as fast as Damien had the time he forced me into his car.

No matter what I did one of those guys popped into my head. If it wasn’t Damien, it was Jace. If not Jace then Caleb. And if not any of them, it was the Fallen Ones.

I felt bad for Brandon since he was being so sweet now. I couldn’t shake the idea that he’d been rude earlier though. I hoped it was just a one time thing.

We pulled up outside my apartment, and as I made to unclip my seatbelt, Brandon leaned across and without uttering a single word he pushed his lips against mine.

I didn’t stop him as he cupped my face and slid his tongue over mine.

I found myself kissing him back.

His hand on my lap worked its way up my thigh.

I pulled away and pushed at his hand. “I’m sorry– I can’t.” I heaved a sigh, feeling as though I’d led him on.

“Of course you can,” he said and began to slide his hand up my dress.

“N-no, Brandon. I’m not ready for that.”

“It’s only a little touching. Come on. Let me show you how good it can feel.”

“I said no,” I bit out. I unlatched my seatbelt, my heart thrumming wildly.

“You’re a virgin. You shouldn’t be one at your age. Let me make you mine tonight. I promise I’ll be gentle.” He pushed his hand up my dress and rubbed hard against my panties.

I knew I’d enjoyed being forced, but not by Brandon. He didn’t have the same effect on me that the Fallen Ones did.

“I said no . Not tonight. Please Brandon. Maybe next time.” I offered him some hope to buy me time to work through my feelings.

“Fine. But if you don’t put out next time, maybe this isn’t going to work.” He snapped at me in irritation. “I’m not Jace. I’m not going to sit around for nearly a year just to wait for you to spread your legs.”

Tears welled in my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I offered an apology, my chest aching. I had no idea people knew about me and Jace like that.

Brandon took hold of my hand in his. Everything about his mood shifted. “No, Lily. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have got irritated like that. You’re not like other girls. Not at all. You’re… special. I’ll wait. You’ll be worth it. I know you will.” His voice held a note of remorse and compassion.

I nodded since I didn’t know what to say without showing my real emotions. I was doing all I could not to cry.

“Good night, Lily.” He held my jaw in his hand and kissed my cheek. “Text me.”

I forced a smile out at him before I climbed out of the car.

I went to my apartment without looking back. I had way too many thoughts in my head on things. I’d been playing with fire these past few months, and now I was playing with an inferno.

My date with Brandon hadn’t been great and that left me unsure of what to do next.

Story of my damn life.