The Fate Date (Glengarry Curse #1)

28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Gavin

“ T hanks for meeting me here. I thought it would be easier than the office.” Gavin also wasn’t certain if security would let him in the building. He had suggested the historic building turned Cafe 892, as it was down the street from Ian’s home in Manotick. Gavin was prepared to grovel. Beg. Plead. To cling to reason, to the time his life made sense and wasn’t obliterated by a truth-shaped glitter bomb. And to accomplish this, to keep a stronghold on his secrets, he required an income.

However, judging by the straight set of Ian’s jaw across from him, the cappuccino hadn’t softened his displeasure. “What the hell happened, man?”

“I’m sorry.” Gavin launched into his rehearsed explanation. “I lied, that afternoon in your office. Your comments about my lack of personality freaked me out, Alfred was getting under my skin, and I panicked. I should have come clean but then I met Sabrina…” The mention of her name made his throat convulse. “It wasn’t real at first.”

“But it became real.”

Gavin nodded.

“Is she OK?” Ian must have seen something in his face because he didn’t press the issue. “It didn’t take us long to figure out what happened. We fired Alfred on the spot for misuse of company property. The legal team is trying to sort out the web of promises he made the tech company who loaned him the prototype. It was a pretty dramatic end to the retreat. I don’t know how we’ll be able to top it in the future.” He popped a bite of his caramel scone in his mouth, his eyes still trained on Gavin. “I hear from Bojana that the wedding has been postponed…indefinitely.”

Despite everything that had occurred with Alfred and Effie, Gavin didn’t relish hearing that. And the fact of the matter was, Alfred would not have had any ammunition against him if it hadn’t been for Gavin’s own poor decisions. His own hubris.

“Mariana was formally appointed as CFO,” Ian continued.

“Well deserved.”

“And we discussed you as well.”

Gavin sat up, bracing for the fallout.

“From what we could tell, you were recorded without your consent. It was embarrassing, but nothing too outrageous. The board didn’t think it was just cause for termination, especially after I vouched for you. People were just confused, to be honest. Although it might be awkward for a bit, your job is safe.”

Safe. He was…safe.

“You can work from home the next couple of weeks until all this blows over.”

“Sure.” Gavin nodded, though his head felt weightless.

“It’s not like you were the life of the office anyway.”

“Right.”

“How does that sound?”

“It sounds awful.”

The words jumped out of Gavin’s mouth, without his usual consideration. Ian’s bushy eyebrows lifted in surprise. Gavin could feel his own doing the same. What was he saying? He should be kissing Ian’s feet, not throwing his support back in his face. He was being gifted the opportunity to slip back into the regimented life he’d had no problem with before. To continue the same hollow charade of working in solitude until the pristine walls of his apartment smothered him in loneliness.

“I don’t want that.”

Ian gave a humourless laugh. “Alright. I’m sorry. Please, tell me, what you do want?”

Maybe it was the smell of the cinnamon in the scones. Or perhaps the directness of the question. He knew Ian meant professionally, but all he could think of was Sabrina. It seemed the harder he tried to put her out of his mind, the more his thoughts rebelled. Because what Gavin wanted was Post-its sparkling on his wall every morning. His bed crowded with Beanie Babies and the scent of her shampoo. Tarot cards strewn about the place, cats on every surface, her terrible singing voice in the shower, any morsel of Sabrina he could have. That’s what he wanted.

“How bad is it, between you and Sabrina?” Ian asked.

Gavin buried his head in his hands. He felt like Pinocchio, only instead of gaining flesh and bone, new emotions flooded him, like sinewy tangles in his chest.

“It’s over.”

“There’s nothing…no way you can—”

“I wouldn’t do that to her again.”

Ian gave a low whistle. “That’s a loaded statement.” Of all things, Ian laughed. “Shit, man, you sound like me. Or at least, me ten years ago. Though sometimes Derek still gives me hell for my negative self-talk.”

Gavin looked up to see his boss digging into his coat pocket. He pulled out a stack of Post-its. Gavin’s immediate thought was that Sabrina would be disappointed they were just standard office yellow colour. “I don’t want to be presumptuous here.” Ian took out his phone and jotted down a contact number on the stack. “Maybe it’s not over. Maybe you just need to work some stuff out first on your own. At least that’s how it worked with me and Mel.” He passed the square over to Gavin “That’s the name and number of Derek, my therapist.” The paper stuck to Gavin’s fingertips.

“Look, I know it can feel weird to talk about your problems. Most men are taught to grin and bear it, but it doesn’t have to be like that. It shouldn’t.” Ian took a sip of his cappuccino. “Melanie and I started going to couple’s therapy together when everything was going down with IVF—I don’t know if our marriage would have survived it otherwise. I was a steel trap, refusing to acknowledge my grief, and pushing Mel away in the progress.” He shook his head. “I found it helpful to talk to a professional about this stuff. I’ve kept going solo for the past few years because I like it so much.”

Gavin continued to hold the little square in the air.

“I know you’re like me, and Derek can provide structure to the sessions, give you strategies to practice. It’s actually a lot of work. And it’s included in your benefits.”

Gavin folded the Post-it and put it in his pocket.

It wasn’t a terrible suggestion. It might feel good to talk to someone about his past. But it didn’t change the present.

“I think you were right all those weeks ago. I’m not cut out for relationships. This is just who I am.”

“Is it? Up until a few weeks ago I might have agreed. You fucked up pretty spectacularly.” He shrugged. “Maybe it’s just a soft spot for my oldest employee, but I think you’ve changed.”

“It was all an act.”

Ian leaned forwards. “You’re a terrible actor, Gavin,” he whispered conspiratorially. “I’ve been wracking my brain, and I think this weekend was the first time I ever saw you smile. Seriously, Melanie accused me of lying to her after our dinner party. She couldn’t believe the man who had come to dinner was the same one I said only responded in monosyllabic grunts.”

“It was all Sabrina—”

“No. You did it. I think Sabrina encouraged you, and based on the way you were acting at the retreat, she helped you feel more comfortable. But you were the one initiating conversations with your colleagues, cracking jokes at dinner, engaging in the teambuilding exercises. You opened up to everyone and they were finally able to get to know you.”

Gavin ran his hand through his hair. Like with Sabrina, he wanted to believe Ian’s words.

“I’ve known you for ten years. The technical aspects of the job have always come easy for you. But this weekend—hell, this past month—is the first time I’ve witnessed real growth from you professionally, and the board finally witnessed how important you are to the team.” He took another sip. “Well, until you called them all stupid.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“I’m sure it’ll all blow over. I’ll ask again, what is it that you really want? You have some relationships to mend first, but if you wanted to explore more management opportunities—”

Gavin’s thoughts snagged on the first bit—relationships to mend, more like nurse from the brink collapse.

“I think I need to take a leave of absence.”

Ian leaned back in his chair. “You sure? I mean, it seems pretty extreme…”

Gavin wanted more than his controlled existence. He’d had a taste of companionship, family connection, actual friendships. Lord knew he didn’t deserve it, but if he had any shot at the future he wanted, it could only come from purging his perfectionism. To be free of the deceit. And the temptation of his old way of life would only hold him back.

“No, I need to resign.”

Ian sat up straight. “Whoa. Gavin, that’s a big decision. Do you want to take some time—”

“No.” He needed to eliminate the safety net. Commit to free-falling into the unknown .

Ian nodded his head in shock. “Shit. It’s the end of an era.” He pointed at Gavin’s pocket. “Your benefits will last for another six weeks, so you should call Derek right away.” Ian scrubbed his hand over his face. “I don’t know how…we can’t replace you.”

“I’m happy to take on occasional consulting work for an outrageous fee,” Gavin added.

He got a laugh out of Ian. “I can guarantee we’ll take you up on that. I’ll miss you, man. You can count on me as a reference for whatever you decide to do next.” He stuck out his hand for Gavin to shake. “Keep in touch. Mel and I would love to have you and Sabrina over for a double date again soon.”

Gavin nodded. He hoped they could. He had nothing left to hide behind now. Nothing to keep the financial train going. The next stop—was home.