The Gamma’s Second Chance (Crescent Lake #3)

33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

CASSANDRA

Nolan stares at me. Seconds pass, then minutes, and still, nothing happens.

No spark. No special scent luring me closer to him or a reaction to him from my lycan.

There’s nothing.

I don’t know why I expected there would be. I’ve known my whole life— no bond of fate draws her soul to another.

They were always just words. Words hanging over me like a daunting, dark cloud, but even so, hope blossomed. How could it not? There was no physical evidence, nothing tangible. Only a vague phrase thrown my mother’s way during my reading as an infant. It wasn’t the same as the reports from my doctors, with blood tests confirming infertility. Not like scans that show my body no longer has all the necessary organs to grow a new life inside me. I accepted my loss of fertility, accepted the tangible, irrefutable evidence, but the seeds of hope for a mate never disappeared.

Not completely.

And now my hope is shattered into infinite, microscopic pieces.

Nolan’s expression shifts from confusion to realization to sadness. Not sadness for me, but sadness with me, as if my pain is his.

Like it would be if we were true mates.

I crash forward into his chest, clutching at the collar of his half-undone shirt, burying my nose against his skin. He wraps his arms around me, embracing me and continuing our swaying, keeping my face hidden so no one else can see my anguish, pretending for the rest of the world that we’re just dancing. The hint of his spicy cardamom scent hits my nose, and I cling to it like a lifeline, pressing my face harder into his torso.

It’s not as strong as they say a mate’s scent should be, but it calms me all the same. It’s familiar and comforting, warm and inviting.

As we continue our charade of dancing, I mindlink Haven, thankful I had the foresight to ask Wesley to make me a pack member yesterday morning. “Haven,” I say, my voice strained even in mindlink. “I need to get out of here. Please.”

There is a flicker of awareness from her end of our link, and I feel her eyes on Nolan and me. “Wesley,” she says, her voice a little louder than her usual volume, “I think I’m ready to turn in for the night.”

He replies to her, but I don’t listen to what he says. Instead, I shoot off one more mindlink to Haven before closing the connection. “Thank you.”

Several seconds pass. I detect Haven’s light, dainty steps traveling towards an exit underneath the music and Wesley’s heavier, dominating footfalls moving in time with hers. Another few moments, and Nolan sweeps me out of the ballroom, having danced us to the edge of the crowd without me realizing it.

The door clicks shut behind us, and everything is a blur as Nolan guides me into a back stairwell. I gulp down air and rush to the railing, gripping it as tight as I can until my knuckles turn white. Pebbles of misery rain down on me from all sides, leaving pockmarks on my heart and bringing tears to my eyes, and I bite my lip against the pain tearing through me.

I can’t get air in fast enough. My lungs won’t fill.

I claw at the back of my dress, grappling with the buttons but unable to get the proper leverage to undo them. “Nolan—”

“I’ve got it,” he murmurs.

The protective heat of his body covers mine, and he slides my ponytail over my shoulder and unbuttons my bodice with deft fingers, tracing my spine as he works his way down. His face hovers near my neck, his breath teasing my skin. The brush of his nose, the warmth of his presence, and the caress of his fingers all give me something to focus on other than the sheer disappointment shadowing my soul.

When he undoes every button, his hands glide up my back to my shoulders, gripping them in each hand as he kisses my nape, stepping closer so his chest presses into my back. “Breathe, Daisy,” he says, inhaling and exhaling in a steady rhythm. I close my mouth and inhale through my nose, then blow the air out through my lips, mimicking the tempo he sets. “That’s it. I’m here. I’m with you.”

An arm wraps around my waist, and he sways with the beat of our breaths. A dance of compassion to soothe the aching, gaping wound in my soul. Nolan is stalwart and calm behind me, easing my tension and suffering. His lips stay on my neck, pressing soft kisses there occasionally as he gives me as much time as I need to lessen my pain.

“Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?” he asks once my harsh breaths taper, giving me a squeeze.

I shrug and swipe away a tear from my eyelashes. “I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. ‘No bond of fate’ and all that.” He spins me around and cups my cheek, bringing my gaze to his. “I guess I thought maybe they were wrong. I was hoping they were wrong. Or that maybe something changed. I…” I lick my lips and close my eyes, leaning my face against his palm. “I wanted you to be my mate.”

My heart clenches. It’s not the lack of a mate bond, but the lack of a mate bond with him that has me so distraught. The hope was always there, a tiny blossom in the cracks of my soul, but it grew into a flowering vine in the light of his attention and his adoration. “I wanted you to be my mate,” I repeat, opening my eyes to meet his.

His gaze softens, and his other hand joins his first on my face. “I already told you, I don’t need the mate bond. Fuck, I don’t even want the mate bond. All I need is you. We will make our own bond, Cassandra.”

Our own bond. Our own path. A perfectly imperfect journey to match our perfectly imperfect souls.

I stare at him, at the utter certainty in his eyes, and I make a split-second decision. I draw in a breath, my shaking hands pressing against the swarm of butterflies rising in my stomach. “Mark me.”

His entire body tenses. Every muscle tightens. My words trigger him to act, but he lies in wait. He’s a cobra ready to strike, or a tiger ready to pounce, or a racehorse waiting for the signal to run. He blinks, and his fingers dig into my cheeks as he holds himself back from me. “What?”

My gaze darts between his darkening eyes. “Mark me, Nolan. Here. Tonight. Right now.”

He exhales, a long, controlled breath blown out from between his lips, and he shakes his head. “But the ceremony—”

“We can still do the ceremony. We’ll just mark each other again. And I know you’ve been struggling.” I cover his hands on my face with mine. “If I’m marked, it will calm you and your wolf.”

He shakes his head once more and steps closer to me, trapping me in the corner. “I can’t take that special moment away from you. I want to give you your dream.”

I smile at him and circle his wrists, removing his hands from my face and wrapping them around my waist. “It will be special no matter what, because it’s you, Nolan. And you’ve already given me so much.” I cover his heart with my palm. “Let me give you this.”

He ducks his face, and our foreheads meet, his fingers splaying across my back as he holds me close. “You’ve given me more than you realize, Cassandra.” He closes his eyes for a breath, and when he reopens them, he stares at my neck, at the place where he’ll place his mark. “Are you sure this is what you want? Because if it isn’t, I won’t be able to stop once we start. You can’t change your mind halfway through.”

I nod and press my hand harder into his chest, showing him my urgency and my determination. “Yes, Nolan. Mark me. Make me yours.”

He growls and moves his face to my neck, nipping my marking spot and sending a shiver of desire through my body. “You make it so difficult to refuse you.”

“Then don’t refuse.”

His dark chuckle sends another thrill through me, and his grip tightens. “I won’t. But. I have one condition.”

He pauses his teasing of my neck, his entire body freezing except for his breaths. The warm air on my marking spot is a new kind of torture, as the anticipation of his teeth piercing my flesh there while his dick is deep inside me builds. “What’s your condition?” I ask, my chest heaving and my voice no more than a whispered sigh.

He places a small kiss on my marking spot that has my knees shaking and my clit throbbing, and he smiles against my skin. “You can’t mark me back until our ceremony in Greece. That way, we can still complete our bond in the temple, the way you’ve always wanted.”

His hands wander to the open back of my bodice, tracing up and down the buttons he opened when I couldn’t breathe, and I can’t catch my breath again, although it’s for an entirely different reason this time. “I don’t think I can—”

“You can and you will,” he insists, his deep voice tinted with a command I can’t ignore.

I bite my lip, my neck arching in reaction to his order, and I feel for my lycan in my mind, gauging her reaction to being told we can’t mark him back tonight. But she is oddly at peace with the idea. The promise of the ceremony, his desire to create my dream for me, is enough for her.

I sigh and slide my hands inside Nolan’s half buttoned black shirt. “I love you, Nolan.”

He groans and attacks my neck again with a heated fervor that warms my body. Liquid gold floods my veins, replacing my blood. It’s sensuous and heady, like a sweet mulled wine or fruit dipped in fresh honey.

“Mine,” he growls against my skin, sliding my dress down my arms.

“Yours,” I agree, nodding as he removes my dress from my upper body.

His muscles coil as my breasts come into view, and he groans again, his hands cupping them. My spine curves, pushing them further into his grasp, and I fight with the buttons of his shirt, my fingers already trembling with the unmatched pleasure he wrings from my body.

Our lips meet as I undo the last button on his shirt, and he takes it off, his muscles rippling and flexing as he rips his arms from the sleeves and tosses it aside. I crouch down, undoing his pants and kissing and licking his sculpted abs as I do. He kicks his shoes off and yanks his pants down, then he wraps his arms around me, lifting me up and out of my dress.

It falls into a heap on the floor, along with my shoes, and he sits back onto the stairs, catching himself with one hand while holding me with the other, our lips twisting and tangling together again. He cups my bare ass, and then glances down, tearing his lips from mine for just long enough to see my naked body, my thighs spread and my pussy bared for him.

“Holy fuck,” he says, tilting his chin to the ceiling.

A strained noise vibrates his throat, and he leans all the way back against the stairs, tugging me forward and guiding me to straddle his face. My thighs quiver, and I tense, panting and fighting against his hold, trying to lower my hips to his face.

“Let me look at you,” he says, tightening his grip on me and giving me those fingerprint bruises I adore so much. I clutch at the step above me as he glides a knuckle between my lower lips, from my clit to my entrance. “Gorgeous.” He opens my pussy with his fingertips, gazing at my exposed entrance, and I’ve never felt more vulnerable yet more sexy in my life.

I’m at his mercy. I’m his plaything, his female to use and give pleasure to. And I love it.

His hold on me loosens, and I drop my hips, lowering my pussy to his mouth. I respond to his kissing and tasting me with an intense urgency, rolling my hips and grinding against his face. I’m fully aware that we’re in a back stairwell of the hotel and anyone could walk in on us at any moment, but I’m too lost in my bliss to care, and the potential of getting caught, of being seen, adds another layer to the thrill of being with Nolan.

He wraps an arm around me, pinning me to his face and keeping me from going anywhere. Not that I want to. I’m enjoying this too much. His other hand closes around my breast, squeezing and massaging in time with the movements of my hips. He pinches and rolls my nipple, and at the same time, he flicks my clit with his tongue.

A tremor jolts through me, and I gasp, scratching at the ground, but before I can grind myself harder against his mouth and chase my incoming orgasm, he lifts me off his face, his muscles vibrating with restraint as he keeps me off him. He scans my naked body, devouring every inch of exposed flesh with his eyes, licking his lips as he stares at me.

“You’re not coming until my dick is buried in this perfect pussy”—he traces over my entrance with the barest, featherlight touch of his fingertips—“and my teeth are buried in that gorgeous neck.”

I growl and buck against his hold, but he is persistent. He watches me squirm, enjoying every second of my irritation. His eyes linger on my swaying breasts, and he breathes through his nose, his pupils dilating further each time my scent fills his lungs.

“So impatient,” he says, laughing at my frustrated display.

“I need you,” I say, pawing at his hand on my hip, trying to push it towards my pussy.

“I know,” he says, kissing my inner thigh, where he’s written his name countless times. “I need you too.”

His confession is almost a whisper, spoken with the voice of someone hurt too many times but who has found purpose, hope, and meaning again. He loosens his hold on me, and I lower myself down his body, meeting the pure openness and fragility in his eyes with the same in mine.

“I love you,” I remind him, leaning into him.

He nods, staring at me with love—raw, pure, and undiluted. It hits me straight in my heart, the way this stoic and reticent male opens himself to me, allowing me to see the gentle soul beneath the surface. “I love you too,” he says, wrapping his arms around my waist and positioning his cock at my entrance.

He pistons his hips up and drops me down onto his dick, and my jaw falls open, my breaths coming out in quick puffs of air. He stretches me as he fills me, and I claw at his shoulders, bringing myself closer to him. A groan vibrates his chest against mine, and I shudder, neck arching in submission.

“How does it feel better every time I’m with you?” he asks, gazing at me in awe, his fingertips trailing up my spine. “How are you so perfect for me?”

His lips travel over my torso, peppering kisses to my breasts, my chest, my collarbone, and my neck. I ride him, my body writhing on him in slow, rolling motions, mimicking the waves of pleasure building to new heights inside me, and as I ride him, I revel in him and all that he is. His muscles tense and relax, rippling under the shimmery, dewy sweat on his bronze skin, his biceps bulging as he holds me close. Unbridled pleasure lines his features, and his lips and hands worship my body, my name whispered between kisses.

He pounds into me harder, and I let go, giving him full control of my body and our passion. I love this part of being with him—how he manipulates my body and gives me exactly what I need with little direction, the way our hearts beat as one in a frantic cadence as he takes control, and how my body responds to his every manipulation as he plays me like an instrument. His mouth finds my marking spot, and I groan, melting into a puddle as he scrapes his teeth over it and then kisses it again and again, preparing it for his bite.

I pant and gasp, my heart racing and pounding against my ribcage. “Please, Nolan!” I beg as he continues teasing the spot, softening it for longer than necessary, keeping me right on that edge of bliss.

He growls and wraps my ponytail around his fist, tugging my head back and keeping it there with his other hand wrapped around my throat, his thumb pushing into my jaw. My body bounces from his thrusting, my nipples scraping his chest, and once more I feel his teeth scrape my neck. But this time, they’re sharper, and my lycan howls with delight.

He’s choosing me and marking me. Broken pieces and all.

“My mate,” Nolan says into my neck. “My beautiful, second chance mate.”

Fangs pierce my skin, and I cry out his name, my body tensing from the brief pain and then relaxing as pleasure and love flood through me. I shatter into a million pieces, sparkling and radiant like the stars in the night sky. Nolan groans with his canines in my neck, clutching me tighter to him as his cum releases into my pussy with each pulse of his dick inside me. He keeps his grip on my neck and hair, holding my head away from him to prevent me from marking him back, but neither I nor my lycan have the urge to. We will have our turn soon, and for now, we are content with our chosen bond being half finished.

Our pleasure wanes, and Nolan withdraws his fangs from my flesh, licking my blood from his lips and swallowing as he releases me from his hold. I collapse against him, but he nudges me with his nose, searching for my neck again. I bare it to him with a sigh, keeping my head on his chest, and he swipes his tongue over my marking spot, sending a jolt to my pussy, making me quiver and pulse around him.

When he leans away, he’s smiling down at me, staring at his mark on my neck, pride radiating from him in waves. “Damn, you look good with my mark,” he says, touching it with his fingertips. My body shudders again from his touch, and he continues to gaze at the mark, wonder and love filling his eyes, his fingers stroking it in swirling circles.

My lips tip into a lazy, sated, sleepy smile, and I skim his marking spot with my fingers, mirroring his movements. “I bet you’ll look even better with mine.”

He laughs quietly, leaning to give one last kiss to my mark. “Come on,” he says, reaching for our clothes. “We should head to our room before someone finds us like this.”

He tugs on his pants, and I pull his shirt on, buttoning it up so I can be covered as we make our way up the stairs and to our rooms without having to put my gown back on. Once I close the last button, I start up the stairs, but Nolan stops me with his hand around my wrist. I spin to face him, and he smiles at me, rising to my level and cupping my cheeks in his hands, a smile on his lips as he leans in close to me and whispers, “Happy Birthday, Cassandra.”

I sit straight upright in bed with a wild gasp, clutching the cool sheet to my naked body. Nolan stirs next to me, hands caressing my legs as my chest heaves, and I scan the hotel room in a panic. It’s quiet and still. Dim light pokes around the room-darkening curtains, and everything is exactly how we left it when we fell asleep.

“Cassandra?” Nolan asks in a rough, sleepy voice, pushing to a seated position, the backs of his fingers stroking my upper arm.

“Something is… off. Wrong.”

He straightens, his sleepiness wearing off in a heartbeat at my words. “Did you see something?”

I shake my head and press my lips together. “No. I just… I have this feeling, and—” I inhale through my nose, then swing my legs over the side of the bed, rushing to my suitcase. “We should check on Haven and Wes.”

Nolan is already off the bed, jumping into his sweatpants and grabbing his phone. “I just tried,” he says, striding to the door of the bedroom and across the living space of our suite as he dials Wesley’s number. “His mindlink is blocked right now.”

I take off after him, tugging one of his T-shirts over my head and grabbing a pair of shorts from my suitcase. He yanks the door open and bounds over to their room next door in two steps as I pause in the doorway to yank my shorts on. The phone rings and rings, and Nolan knocks, but no one responds.

“Wes!” Nolan yells, banging on the door.

I blink, and the door opens, a wave of heat and a flood of flames consuming me. I blink again, and the door is closed, Nolan still pounding on it and yelling for Wes and Haven.

My heart leaps into my chest as Nolan sighs and says, “Fuck it,” kicking the door with his full gamma wolf strength.

“Nolan, wait!”

My eyes widen, and I rush towards him, flinging my body into his at the last second. He topples over to the ground and rolls out of the way. I scramble to join him, but the door crashes open, and as it does, a wall of flames roars to life, the fire swirling out into the hallway and engulfing the interior of Haven and Wesley’s hotel room.