The Geography of Happiness (Mackenzie Country)

Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Terry

I pushed the bedroom door closed and leaned against it, still catching my breath. Hannah hadn’t moved since I’d left her, her chest rising and falling in quiet sleep, the room lit by a soft nightlight beside her bed.

Gabby had left her mat on the floor to sprawl lengthways beside Hannah on the queen bed, the two of them sharing a pillow. With a few soft thumps of her tail, the retriever let me know she’d heard me enter but quickly settled again.

I stood where I was for a moment, trying to get some oxygen circulating in my brain and wrangling my defiant dick into submission because, holy fuck, what the hell had just happened in that kitchen?

I adjusted myself—reeling at the fact I even needed to because, hello, slow starter here—and took a few calming breaths. Nothing to worry about. It had been an emotional day was all. I was strung out about... well, everything... including Spencer. Spencer who’d stepped up, fed me, listened to my ramblings, and... cared about me.

And then, of course, he’d kissed me. Well, technically, I’d kissed him, but the man had put his lips right there, so I wasn’t shouldering all the blame.

And damn, what a kiss.

I could’ve pulled away.

I should have.

Hannah was just down the hall, for fuck’s sake.

But I didn’t.

Spencer was food to a starving man. This starving man.

His desire, his electric touch, his delight... in me was a fucking revelation. Which was crazy. I’d been kissed before, many times, but none of them held a candle to Spencer. That one kiss in the kitchen was the most erotic encounter of my entire life.

The second his mouth touched mine, I sizzled—every cell in my body zinging on high alert. The sensual glide of his lips, the hungry press of his tongue seeking entrance, the eager plunge when I finally opened for him, the groan of satisfaction as he pinned me against the pantry door, his hands trailing fire over my skin, his body wrapped around me like he thought I might run.

And I had. Goddammit . I’d fucking run... again.

What the hell was wrong with me?

I hadn’t been touched by another person in so damn long, I couldn’t even remember the last time, and it felt so fucking good.

Too good.

Spencer lit a fire inside me that I hadn’t felt... maybe ever. I’d never been that guy and I’d been okay with that for... well, most of my damn life. When Judah came along, I’d wondered if that was changing, because I did notice him. I did want and desire him. I ached for something physical between us. But when Judah and Morgan got together, I’d quickly settled back into the familiar neutral tone that always seemed to characterise my romantic life, or lack of one. Lonely, but not needy.

Hannah stirred in her sleep, lifting up on one elbow to peer into the dimly lit room. “Daddy?”

“I’m here, sweetheart.” I crept over and crouched beside her bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay, I guess. My head hurts a little.” She repositioned her pillow. “My knee too.”

Shit. I stroked her forehead, steering clear of the bandage. “Bradley said you might have a headache for a few days, remember?”

She pulled a face. “Can I have some more Panadol?”

I checked my watch and handed her two capsules and the glass of water. Then I pulled back the bedclothes and lifted the cool pack to check her knee. It looked a little more swollen and the bruising was starting to show, but not as bad as I’d imagined. I touched it lightly and she winced, immediately pulling away.

Damn. I looked up and our eyes met. Neither of us said a word. There was no need. We’d been down this injury route more times than either of us cared to remember. We knew the score. Only time would tell.

I draped the cool pack over her knee and pulled the bedclothes back into place. Then I took the glass from her hands, and together we went through the concussion checklist. She seemed fine.

“Now remember you’re not to get out of bed on your own tonight. We don’t know how that knee will hold up and you’re still a bit woozy. Let’s not make anything worse. Promise me you’ll use your phone.”

Hannah pulled a face but nodded. “I promise.”

“Good.” I fingered the bandage above her eyebrow, but the tape was secure.

She grabbed my hand when I was done and held it against her cheek. “Spencer’s nice. I like him.”

At the mention of Spencer’s name, the memory of his lips on mine rallied in my heart and my throat thickened. “Yeah, I like him too. He’s a good man.”

“Daddy—” Hannah wriggled onto her back. “—can I ask you something?”

There was a curious look in her eyes that made my belly clench. “Ask away.”

She held my gaze. “You and Mum split up over ten years ago.”

I nodded, carefully schooling my expression at her use of the term mum .

“And she remarried when I was eight, right?”

Oh boy. “That’s right.” I held my breath.

“But you never have. You’ve never even had a girlfriend—” She paused, studying me intently. “—or a boyfriend. How come?”

I wasn’t surprised at her nod to inclusivity considering our friendship group, but having it directed at me set my nerves jangling and I chose to leave it alone, too scared my reaction might show my true feelings. “Oh. Well, no, I haven’t. Too busy raising you.”

Hannah narrowed her gaze. “ Dad . That’s a cop out.”

I winced. “Maybe, but it’s still true. Our lives have been full-on for a long while now, and I figure there’s plenty of time for meeting someone when you’re off living your best life.”

She thought about that. “I guess, but you know I’ll be fine with you having someone—” She paused. “—whoever you choose, right? I want you to be happy, Dad.”

I smiled and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Thank you, but I think we should get you out of the terrible teenage years first, yeah?” I ruffled her hair and she giggled, swatting my hand away. “Can I ask why the sudden interest?”

“No reason.” She snuggled down under the duvet.

“ Hannah ,” I whined, handing her back some of her own medicine. “That’s a cop out.”

She chuckled and closed her eyes. “Night, Dad.”

I grinned and tucked the covers around her. “Night, baby girl.” Then I perched on the edge of the bed and stroked her back until she fell asleep. Fourteen going on twenty, and I loved her with every scrap of my heart.

When Hannah’s breathing slowed into sleep, I made my exit, turning back for one final look before slipping through the door and pulling it shut. In the shadows of the hall, I leaned against the wall and listened to the soft creaking of the old house, wondering where he was.

The distant sound of water answered my question, and my heart jumped into my throat. Spencer was still up. I turned toward the kitchen, then glanced the other way to the guest bedroom I was staying in.

The sensible option.

And another empty bed.

I turned back toward the kitchen and the memory of his lips on mine evoked a wholly different reaction.

Definitely not sensible.

But definitely not empty either.

More noise. A dishwasher starting. Drawers closing.

I pushed off the wall.

Just accept the damn gift. This bubble in time. A safe space away from Painted Bay. Away from the nosy eyes and ears of my friends. Away from the endless responsibilities that filled my life.

Here, Hannah was safe asleep in bed and there was only one thing on my mind.

Spencer.

The smooth slide of his lips over my skin. His tongue down my throat. His cock grinding on my belly. Mine against his thigh. A man. A safe man. A man who wanted me for nothing except for who I was. No baggage. No expectations. No demands. Just a small moment in time. A few hours of the kind of pleasure I’d rarely known. The kind my friends talked about as a given in their lives. But not mine. Who knew if or when the opportunity might come again?

I glanced one more time toward the guest room down the hall, and just like that there was suddenly no question to answer. I sucked in a breath and started walking toward the kitchen, my pulse hammering in my throat.

Would I regret it?

Probably.

It was the craziest, stupidest decision I’d ever made.

Was I going to turn back?

Hell no.

Fuck the fallout.

I’d deal with that later.