The Gifted Heart (Marks of Inheritance: The Orkeia Cycle #1)

23. The Tethered Soul

Chapter twenty-three

The Tethered Soul

F ranklin didn’t know where the letter had come from—he had just returned from meeting with the kitchen staff to arrange meals for the following day when I burst into the sitting room. The truth was, the note could have been left at any point in the day while both Kiernan and I were occupied. And even if Franklin hadn’t seen anyone, there was no doubt in my mind who the note came from.

Shaking, I instructed Franklin to have guards posted at the door to our quarters as well as the entrance to the tunnel in the throne room. As he left to relay the message, Kiernan, Gideon, and my father exited the dining room together.

Immediately upon seeing me, Kiernan frowned and moved to my side. “What’s wrong, My Heart?”

His use of my old nickname made my breath catch in my throat, but now was not the time to get sentimental. Glancing at my father and Gideon, I saw concern in both of their expressions, but Gideon in particular was averting his eyes. With a rush of heat to my cheeks, I realized I was in nothing but a nightdress, and had been the entire time I was speaking with Franklin.

“Let’s—speak privately,” I muttered. Kiernan nodded and wrapped an arm around my waist, leading me into his room.

“I thought I told you to rest,” he chided as the door closed.

I let out a breath. “I intended to. But when I got back to my room, I found this. ”

My hand shook as I offered the note to him. Kiernan released me with a frown and took it. As he read the words, his grip on the parchment tightened, crumpling it in his hands. His expression hardened.

“Did Franklin deliver it?” he asked.

I shook my head. “He didn’t see anyone come in, either. But…I’m certain I know who it was.”

“Who?”

“Captain Lewin.”

Kiernan looked up from the note and stared, his hard expression shifting to one of surprise. After a long moment of silence he sighed, shaking his head.

“I understand how you feel about him, Kenna,” he said, choosing his words carefully. “I really do. But Captain Lewin has always been loyal to the crown—”

“Kiernan, he’s constantly questioning you,” I interrupted, my chest tightening with frustration. “ Especially when it comes to me. How can you not see that he’s been suspicious of me from the start? He’s never let go of those suspicions.”

“He’s just used to tradition,” Kiernan said, reaching to take my hands. “It’s not necessarily about you , it’s about any young woman I choose to be with that breaks from that tradition—”

“He locked me in a dungeon for two days!” I yelled, my frustration turning into anger. I snatched my hands from his and stood, crossing the room and spinning around to face him. “A dungeon that he was keeping hidden from you and secret to carry out his own justice. I was in complete darkness, without food and water. He would have left me there forever if my father hadn’t come to you! And since then, he’s done everything he can to separate us. Even Captain Stole had suspicions about his intentions, and if he had access to this demon—”

“You can’t seriously think that Lewin is a magic holder,” Kiernan said with a sudden, surprised laugh.

“I don’t know if he is or if he isn’t, or if he may be in league with someone, or what’s going on!” I snapped. “All I know is that he was pleased I was going to be in court this morning, because he knew Gideon would be one of the prisoners being tried and he wanted to see my reaction to confirm his suspicions once and for all.”

“And how do you know that?” Kiernan asked, his sigh sounding exasperated.

I felt like my heart was caught in my chest. My eyes began to well up with tears and my fingers shook as I gripped my hands into fists.

“Why do you have more faith in him than in me?” I breathed out, my whisper harsh.

At that, Kiernan frowned, his own frustration replaced by hurt. “How can you say that, Kenna?”

“Because you’re not listening to reason. You’re ignoring what’s right before your eyes.”

He slowly stood, venturing to take a step towards me. I took a step back in response and he sighed, stopping in place and observing me sadly.

“Kenna, I’ve known Captain Lewin all my life,” he tried to explain gingerly. “He is a harsh man and set in his ways. But he is also a man fully devoted to protecting the kingdom. When Pious took the throne, Lewin was the one who managed to smuggle me out of the castle so I would remain safe. He taught me how to defend myself and worked secretly with the remaining captains in the castle, putting his life and safety on the line hundreds of times, in order to plan an attack that would rid us of Pious’s tyranny. He is a cunning strategist—”

“And that’s exactly what I worry about,” I breathed out, the tears beginning to roll down my cheeks. “He is cunning. He’s had a lot of influence over you in the past, and I don’t think he wants to give that influence up.”

Kiernan’s eyebrows furrowed at that and he pressed his lips tighter together. For a long moment there was silence between us as we stared each other down, neither of us seeming willing to change our minds about the man. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Kiernan let out a breath and closed his eyes, shaking his head and reaching up to rub his forehead.

“What do you want me to do, Kenna?” he asked, sounding defeated. “Have him tried?”

“I don’t think there’s enough proof for that,” I admitted. “But investigating and trying to gather evidence would be a good start. I’m sure Captain Stole would be up to the task. He already has his own misgivings about him.”

“Very well,” Kiernan muttered, still sounding unconvinced. “But I am confident he won’t find anything. Captain Lewin is a hard man, but one that I trust with my life—and yours.”

There was no point in escalating the argument. So instead, I just muttered, “Thank you,” before moving towards the windows that overlooked the cliffside. My arms were still shaking as I folded them across my chest, watching the way the waves crashed against the rocks and the clouds floated on the horizon. The sun was setting over the horizon, and I closed my eyes just trying to breathe enough to keep myself calm.

As I thought about the sun, my mind wandered to Gideon, then Hanson and what I’d read in Kindra’s book. If she was a descendent of the world-builder before Hanson, did that mean that I was a descendant of Hanson just as Gideon was? She had called herself a ‘Bearer’ of this inherited Gift, a Gift that was given only once every fourteen generations…

I need to talk to her.

I felt Kiernan’s hands on my shoulders and sighed, my eyes remaining closed. I hadn’t heard him approaching over the storm that was my own thoughts.

“I’m sorry, My Heart,” he said gently, slowly wrapping his arms around me from behind and kissing my neck. “I want you to feel safe, and I will do everything in my power to ensure that you are. I’ll talk to Stole, and I’ll check on the guards you summoned. For now…for now will you please rest? You’ve had an eventful few days…”

Slowly, I placed my hands over his, focusing on my breathing. He kissed my neck again, and I felt a bit of a shiver on my skin where his lips pressed against it. The bliss of our time alone felt so distant, but at least for a moment I was reminded of the love we held for each other. It was real, and it was strong. Whatever challenges remained before us, we would face them together .

“I’m sorry, too,” I whispered.

He released me with one more kiss to my neck, coaxing me into my room. But I still couldn’t rest—not just yet.

My heart beat a bit faster as I closed the door behind me. My pack sat on my bedside table, and I approached it almost reverently, pulling the candles out one by one. The knot in my throat was extraordinarily tight. It had been so long…

Very carefully, I set up the circle. I must have checked and rechecked the runes a dozen times before finally stepping inside of it. The magical energy from the circle tingled in the air, almost feeling like a gentle breeze against my skin. I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath, chanting the Sacred Words of Passage once more.

Nothing happened. I did not hear a voice asking me where I wanted to travel, despite the clear magical energy in the room. Instead, I felt a pit in my stomach, as if there was a weight grounding me to the earth.

Furrowing my brows, I tried again. Still nothing. There seemed to be something preventing my spirit from separating from my body, something that was keeping me in place. It couldn’t be possible that just discovering that I was a sorcerer and not a white witch would be enough to do this—sorcerers could learn to wield the same magic that witches held, after all. There must be some other reason.

Beginning to feel desperate, I stepped out of the circle, the tingle dissipating as I did, and moved to lay on my bed. Closing my eyes once more, I willed my spirit to leave my body as I had done many times before. Again, I felt a pit in my stomach, my spirit completely tethered to my body. They would not separate.

Was I just that out of practice? Or was there something else—some sort of curse or spell that had been placed upon me or the castle to block my Gift? I had just used it to heal Gideon, so that also did not make sense to me.

Why can’t I separate?

Keeping my eyes closed, I opened myself up to sense any spirits in the room, initially worried that I would sense another demon sent to attack me, as my father had feared. At first, I didn’t sense anything, my surroundings feeling devoid of any other spiritual presence. But after a few minutes of focusing, I noticed the faintest trace of a soul somewhere nearby, young and innocent, more pure than anything I’d felt before.

And it was inside me.

With a gasp, I sat up. My eyes were wide as I stared at my reflection in the mirror, and a hand shot to my stomach.

I’m pregnant.

***

I don’t know how I ever fell asleep that night. I paced my room, stopping in front of the door to Kiernan’s at least half a dozen times. When I did finally lay down, I tossed and turned until Abi arrived to help prepare me for breakfast. I almost blurted out the news to her, but I wasn’t ready to admit it yet—not to her, not to Kiernan, and not even really to myself. But now that I had identified it, every time I closed my eyes, I could sense the small, developing spirit.

I had never thought about how pregnancy could affect the ability to travel between the other worlds, in large part because I hadn’t really considered marriage as I was growing up. Elizabeth was unmarried, after all, and until I met Gideon and Neal, I hadn’t spent time around people my own age. It was a question I’d never thought to ask, but apparently the presence of a second spirit sharing the same body made it impossible to complete that separation.

To my relief, Kiernan didn’t say anything at breakfast about the note. I was sure that if Gideon and my father knew about it, they would refuse to leave. As much as I would miss both of them, I didn’t want to delay their journey. Saying goodbye was hard enough as it was.

When we all stood up from the meal, Isaiah gave my forehead a tender kiss before pulling me into a parting hug.

“Remember what I told you to do if you needed to run?” he whispered in my ear.

I frowned against his shoulder. “Yes…”

“Tell me.”

I hesitated, confused. He’d given me these instructions in case Kiernan chose not to accept me, and I had more or less discarded them now. But as he pulled back from the embrace and placed his hands on my shoulders, I saw the lingering fear and concern in his eyes. Even though no one had mentioned the threatening note, he knew just as well as I did that other threats still existed.

“Tell me, Kenna,” he urged.

“Find the Allreds in Northtown,” I repeated.

He nodded, the tension in his shoulders subsiding. “Good. Remember that.”

With a breath, he kissed my forehead once more before stepping aside. Gideon stood behind him. The black long-sleeved tunic and gloves covering his arms were so different from anything he’d ever worn when we were with the clan. On anyone else, the look would have been austere at best and intimidating at worst. But regardless of what he wore, his blue eyes were still the same warm, kind eyes that had brought me comfort when I’d lost everything. Only now, they were misty with emotion.

My vision blurred as mine, too, began to fill with tears. I stepped past my father and threw my arms around Gideon, suppressing a sob as I buried my face into his shoulder. He took in a sharp breath through his nose, one of his hands resting on the back of my head and the other wrapped around my waist. I felt him trembling, but then he let out the breath he was holding and his body relaxed. He slowly released me, meeting my gaze with a heartfelt smile, and wiped away a tear as he had so long ago on the beach.

“It means everything to me to know that you’re safe,” he whispered.

My breath caught in my throat. “Promise me you’ll make sure you stay safe,” I stammered .

“I promise,” he said. The hand wiping away my tears lingered for the briefest moment on my cheek before he drew it back and stepped away, tearing his eyes from mine to look at Kiernan.

“Take care of her,” he said. I was surprised to hear a commanding edge to his tone.

Kiernan stepped up beside me and wrapped an arm around my waist, holding Gideon’s gaze. He didn’t look angry at how he’d been spoken to—in fact, they looked at each other as if there was a shared understanding.

“Always,” Kiernan said.

His arm remained around me as we watched Gideon and Isaiah leave the room. Though my heart was heavy at the separation, the feeling of Kiernan’s steady support next to me brought with it all the comfort I needed.

I leaned into him, and he wrapped both arms around me, kissing my cheek. I felt the way his hand brushed against my stomach as he did, and my thoughts spiraled back to my revelation from the night before. Just as I was about to speak, however, Franklin entered the room with a bow.

“Your Majesty—they are waiting for you in the High Court,” he said. “And My Queen, Miss Grayson has requested an audience.”

We both sighed as Kiernan pulled away from me. “The duties don’t stop,” he muttered, brushing a hair out of my face with a wry smile.

My smile was definitely more forced, but I managed one nonetheless. Tenderly, I placed a kiss on his lips. “I’ll see you at lunch,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

***

We actually didn’t see each other again until dinner that evening—the trials went longer than expected, and afterwards Kiernan left for a scheduled tour of the military quarter with Captain Stole. I was desperate for a distraction, and, no matter how un-queenly it was, enjoyed a few hours with Abi exploring the castle’s passageways. More than once, I had to stop myself from telling her about the pregnancy. I wanted Kiernan to be the first to know.

Dinner was held in the main hall that evening with the majority of the captains and some of the local nobles, including Sir Hamon and Lady Sophronia. As Sophronia went on about how gorgeous my wedding gown was, I studied the room. Lewin was conspicuously absent, and after a second look, I realized that Stole was as well. Meeting my husband’s eyes, I realized he must have spoken to Stole while they were in the military quarter about keeping an eye on his fellow captain. I reached under the table for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, which he returned.

It felt like something was bubbling in my stomach for the entirety of the meal. I didn’t let go of Kiernan’s hand, not even to eat, which resulted in me using entirely the wrong fork technique. Kiernan made no effort to pull his hand away, seeming just as eager for the connection as I was, even if he didn’t yet know what was on the forefront of my mind.

When we finally returned to our quarters, Kiernan sighed heavily with exhaustion, but smiled when I sat on the edge of his bed. Joining me, he placed one hand on my cheek and wrapped his other arm around me, pulling me close and giving me a tender kiss. I returned it, trembling a bit against him, gently resting my hands on his arms as I took in a sharp breath.

When he pulled back, he pressed his forehead against mine, tracing figures along my back as we both just breathed for a moment. “It’s been a long day,” he whispered.

I nodded. Though I was trying to find the words to speak, something seemed to be blocking my throat. Kiernan didn’t immediately notice, kissing me tenderly once more, the kiss growing in emotion as he held me tighter.

It was a relief to let myself get lost in his embrace. For at least a short time, I didn’t have to think about Lewin, the demon, the army, my Gift, or even the pregnancy. I allowed myself to focus on nothing but him and the connection we shared, a connection that was growing deeper by the day .

A while later, I rested my head on his chest, slowly running my fingers through his hair. His eyes were closed and his breathing even and relaxed. The more we laid there, however, the more I felt my heart beginning to race with nervousness.

I was a little relieved when he was the first to speak. “What’s on your mind?” he asked in a whisper, rubbing my arm. He could probably feel the way my body was stiffening against his the more I thought about my news.

Taking in a deep breath, I slowly sat up. He did as well, looking at me with a curious expression.

I swallowed. “What if we were to have children, Kiernan?”

He sat up straighter, taken aback. I waited as he eyed me, anxious to hear his response.

“Of course we’ll have children, Kenna,” he finally said, his tone suggesting he hadn’t really thought about it before, “but it’s a little early to be planning on it, don’t you think?”

“Maybe not,” I said, feeling more and more nervous as I took his hand in mine. “Maybe— now would be a good time to start thinking about it. Because I’m…I’m pregnant.”

It came out so much clumsier than I had hoped. My heart was pounding. Kiernan’s eyes widened.

“You’re pregnant?” he repeated. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“But how—how could you possibly know this soon?”

I gestured to my mark, and he seemed to understand. For a long moment, he just stared at me, clearly struggling to find a way to respond. I took his hand in mine, and he squeezed it tightly. I leaned forward and kissed him, trying to ease both of our nerves.

“Now what’s on your mind?” I asked, keeping my voice as even as I could.

He let out a shaky breath. “My own father…our relationship was complicated. I can’t say he showed me how to be a father, only how to be a ruler. I don’t want this child to have the same lonely childhood I had, but I don’t know how to give them a better one. ”

I ran my fingers through his hair again, gazing into his deep blue eyes. “I know how you feel. I don’t know how to be a mother any more than you know how to be a father. So…we’ll just have to figure it out together.”

To my relief, he leaned forward and kissed me sweetly, lingering longer than I’d expected. When he placed his hand on my stomach, I saw a hint of excitement glinting in his eyes. That was enough to let me open myself up to the emotion as well, and I breathed a sigh of relief and happiness as we retired for the night, dreaming of a baby in my arms.