The Grand Duel (The Grand Men #4)

Chapter 38

THIRTY-EIGHT

Lissie

I ’m in the break room the next morning when his body moulds to my back and his mouth finds my neck.

“Mr Aldridge,” I warn. “Your office manager could walk in here any second.”

“I don’t care,” he says against my skin, the smell of him making me heady. “You’ve been avoiding me all morning.”

I have. Mostly because I don’t want to be unprofessional.

He can’t keep his eyes off me.

“I don’t want to distract you.”

He chuckles, his chest rumbling against me as his hands smooth over my waist. “Too late.”

I place my hands on the counter and push back against him, closing my eyes when he lets out a groan.

“Charles,” I whisper, pleading. “Not here.”

He lets out another whining moan that makes me smile.

I turn in his hold, our bodies remaining together once I’m facing him. Looking up, I purse my lips, desperately wanting him to kiss me.

No kissing.

You cannot kiss me.

He shakes his head. “Can you take a day off from being so fucking beautiful, please? It’s affecting my ability to work.”

His cock is rock hard against me. “I’m not doing anything.”

“You are. You’re walking around my office looking like this.” He smooths his hands over my hips, sucking in a breath. “I’d hate to think how many hours I’ve lost thinking about you.”

“What do you think about?” I ask, my stomach tightening and my nipples hardening against the lace of my bra. “What do you imagine?”

His eyes are steadfast.

They don’t flicker.

There is no doubt.

“Unspeakable things.”

I shrug. “What if I think about those things too? What if I spend my nights thinking about things I know would have your jaw on the floor?”

“It’s already on the floor.” He runs his hands up my back. “What things?”

“You’re too far gone,” I tell him, my eyes flicking between his darkening ones. “You?—”

I push back when I hear footsteps in the corridor, Charlie turning away to face the counter.

The break room door opens a moment later, and Edna walks in. “Oh, you beat me to it,” she says to me, gesturing to her cup of coffee. She leans past me and takes it before looking up at Charlie. “Are you okay, love? You look a little flushed.”

He can’t look at her, and I smile, knowing.

“I’m fine.”

“Always fine, you two,” she muses. “I don’t know who taught who.”

“Your hair looks pretty today, Ed.”

“Thank you! I just washed it,” she says, chuckling.

Charlie steps away, his eyes heavy but thankful for the distraction.

I’m on my way back to my desk with my cup of tea when my phone chimes.

Charlie

Tonight you’re going to tell me all the things you think about at night

Slow down, Charlie boy. I’m working tonight

After. I’ll pick you up

I bite my lip, wondering if that’s a good idea. It will be late; we’ll have half an hour max in the car on the way to my place, and he’ll have work the next day.

You can stay at mine

My stomach flutters, the feeling making my hands shake as adrenaline rushes.

He wants me to stay…

Fine

It’s three p.m. when my phone pings, letting me know Charles will be back in the office earlier this afternoon because his meeting in Thameside (which I now know is the time he carves out to visit Lance) has been cancelled.

I eye my phone for longer than I need to, my mind running over all the reasons he might’ve cancelled when I know he doesn’t ever miss that meeting.

I open my call list and click on his name.

He answers on the second ring. “Lis. Everything okay?”

“Everything is fine here. Are you okay?”

“ Me ?”

I huff a laugh. “Yes, you . Where are you?”

There’s a pause, the sound of wind rustling through the phone making me frown. “I’m walking back to the office now.”

I stand and walk to the reception, looking out the window at the drizzling rain.

“Are you close?”

“I’ve just passed the college.”

I don’t ask why Scott isn’t driving him. Instead, I go to his office and take the keys to the Jag, letting Edna know I’ll be gone by holding up two fingers and mouthing, Two minutes , when I pop my head around her office door.

I pull my coat from the rack and slip out onto the street, rounding the building to his car. “You’re close to Macca’s. Are you going to come back with treats for me, Charles?”

He huffs, and I can tell he’s smiling past whatever is weighing heavy on him. “What flavour?”

“You pick.”

“Alright.”

He hangs up, and I frown.

I pull out from the parking space, my stomach all knotted up.

I knew something was off the second the notification pinged on my phone.

Not just because he cancelled the meeting. But because he cancelled it on the app, letting me know.

I’m driving for around five minutes when I pass Charles on the pavement, his suit darkened from the rain. He doesn’t see me, doesn’t spot his own car, and I have to drive to the end of the road, turn on the next street, and then drive back down.

I pull up alongside him, my lips twitching at the three pots of ice cream in his hands. “Hey handsome.”

He blanches when he looks up, his brow rising. “What are you doing?”

I lean back as the rain flurries in through the open window. “Get in,” I tell him.

He rounds the bonnet and climbs in. “Do you even have a licence?”

“To drive an automatic, yes. Though I’ve not driven in years…” I run my hands over the steering wheel and ease it into motion again. “This is nice.”

He places the ice cream in the centre console and starts messing with the dials, turning up the heated seats. “I always have them low, sorry.”

I look across at him. “You’re worried about how cold I might be? You’re soaked, Charles.”

“I’m not soaked. It’s drizzly shit, not rain.”

“It’s horrible out, the sort of weather that will make you ill.”

He frowns over at me. “I’m a grown man, I’m fine.”

I shake my head and drive us back to the office, making a meal of reversing into the parking space when we arrive.

“Just watch your mirrors.”

“I can see, Charles.”

There’s a scrape and a clunk, the tire bouncing down onto the tarmac. “Oh,” I mutter. “I think there’s a…” I lean to look out through the window at the curb on the right side of the parking space.

“A pavement?”

“Seems that way.” I cringe.

“My alloys are certain of it.”

I bite my lip. “I’m sorry. I’ll have them replaced.”

He closes his eyes and huffs a laugh, although he seems a little defeated. “Don’t worry about it.”

I reach for his forearm when he reaches for the door handle. “Wait.”

He turns to look at me, and I tilt my head, peering up at him. “You okay?”

There’s a trace of a frown that runs across his forehead like a thread, and it’s his only tell. “I’m fine.”

“Charlie,” I plead. “Stop saying that. At least to me. Edna’s right, we’re both as bad as each other.”

He swallows, looking away.

“You cancelled your visit with Lance. Do you want to talk about it?”

He clears his throat. “Scarlet asked me not to go.”

I take a second to process that, to try to figure out everything he’s left out. “Okay.”

“You don’t have to worry about me, Lissie,” he says without turning. “I just needed five to walk back here. I didn’t want to take my mood out on Scott or anyone else.”

I watch him, wishing he’d look at me.

Wishing he’d open up to me again.

Trust me the same way he did at the cottage.

When he doesn’t, I take off my seat belt and climb across the centre console, settling myself on his lap so that I’m straddling him.

He sighs, hands smoothing over my hips as his eyes dart around my face. “What are you doing, Lissie girl?”

Leaning forward, I wrap my arms around his neck, holding tightly on to his damp shoulders.

His hands travel up my back as he pulls in a deep breath.

“Existing. Here. With you.”

His arms grow tighter, his warmth making my eyes drift closed.

I don’t know how much time passes before I give in and pull back, running my hands down over his chest. “You’re soaking,” I say with a sad smile.

I let my hand lift to his chin, running over his cheek and then up into his wet hair. He twists his head and nuzzles my palm, his lips dragging up the inside of my wrist.

My hands eventually settle back on his shoulders, my fingers toying with the hair at his nape.

And then I wait.

“I go once a week, but he hasn’t ever accepted visitation. For me or anyone else.”

I nod, already knowing this.

“Scarlet asked me to stop. She doesn’t want me wasting my time. It’s hurting her to sit and wonder if he’ll let us in.”

“And what do you want?”

He stares past me. “I know I should stop.”

I nod.

“But the idea of it, of him not having anyone showing up for him…”

“Does he know you visit?”

“He’s told every time.” His jaw tics, and he works a swallow. “It’s a drive. It’s selfish to say, but it is. I’m constantly planning my week around the visit.”

“Not to mention the care you have and keep for his family, who you put at the very top of your list,” I remind him. “You’re not a bad person for agreeing with Scarlet, Charlie.”

“Not a bad person but a shit friend.”

“No,” I argue, stressing the roots of his hair between my fingers. “Not at all. Two years you’ve been making the drive to the prison. From what you’ve told me about Lance, he doesn’t expect that of you.”

“Exactly. He wouldn’t ask any of us to do it because he thinks he’s not worthy of it. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of thinking he’s right when it’s the furthest from the truth.”

A knot tightens in my throat as I watch him get eaten up by his turmoil.

“And yet if I carry on, it leaves Scarlet open to the idea that he might accept the visit. Might let her back in.”

“And you.” I tilt my head as I look down on him. “That he might let you back in, too.”

He lets out a shaky breath, and I wrap him in my arms, sensing he needs it.

“I can’t imagine how hard it’s been to show up week in week out only to get nothing back,” I say into his neck. “I don’t know Lance, and I mean no malice, especially after hearing his story, but I know that you don’t deserve to be treated the way he’s treating you. I hope one day he realises how badly he’s hurt you and makes it right.”

I can feel his heart pounding against my chest, his arms wrapped around me, not letting me go. “Thank you, Lissie.”

I run my nose over his neck in answer, just letting him be for a little while before we head back into the office with our melted ice cream.

The rest of the day goes by slow and sleepy as the rain continues to pour. The office is warm and cosy, and with no meetings scheduled, I was able to hole up in Charles’s office and drink copious amounts of tea whilst I worked from his sofa.

I think he thinks I’m worried about him, but I’m not.

He’s thinking with his head, making healthy decisions for not just his friends but himself. I hated to see him sad before, but sitting through this with him today has been worth it, and I know it’s right for him.

He left the office at five, giving me the excuse he needed to get home to feed the dogs. He asked me to leave with him, promising to get me to work on time, but I told him to go without me.

If Edna wasn’t in the building at the time, I’m pretty sure he would’ve begged me to leave.

I couldn’t help but think he needed the time alone, though.

I forced myself on him earlier, making him tell me about Lance’s visitation, but only because he would have known that cancelling the visit via the app would alert me.

Maybe I’m wrong, but I think he wanted to talk to me.

And with a little encouragement, he did.

I take the tube home and relish it, putting my headphones in and getting lost in the sea of people all trying to get to their next stop.

When I get home, I go to my bedroom and shower, making sure my work clothes are ready for the evening and not creased, and then I fall back to my bed and call my sister, knowing I’ve put it off for long enough.

I chew on my lip as I wait for her to pick up, my stomach feeling all twisted up inside.

This is the longest we’ve ever gone without speaking, and I know it will be hurting her as much as it is me.

“Lissie, hello?”

I close my eyes and smile. “Hi, Jove.”

She huffs a laugh. “I thought you’d ignore me forever.”

My frown is pained. “I just needed a couple days. Are you okay? How’s Will? I got paid yesterday, did you get the money okay?”

“Willow’s good. She’s with Janie and Robbo tonight.” Joe’s parents. “About the money, Lissie. You don’t have to send so much. Or…well, any really. I know we have lots to talk about, but I have money. We both do.”

I push my tongue into the front of my teeth as my eyes burn.

“I don’t get the point in working ourselves to the bone to live when we have our inheritance. It was so nice spending time with Mum, Lissie. She was?—”

“Did she apologise to you?” I interrupt, loving my sister to pieces but hating how she can be so fickle. “Has she said sorry for the way she treated you and Will?”

“She’s sorry, Lissie.”

I shake my head, my smile a dam I put up to stop the tears. “That’s bullshit.”

“It’s my choice. You can’t tell me I shouldn’t live off the money or give Willow the opportunity of knowing them because you’re still mad. No, I don’t mean?—”

“Still mad? Jovie, you know…you know the things that happened and why I feel the way that I do.”

“I didn’t mean…I know it’s hard for you, Lis.”

“This isn’t even about me, though. This is about two people who refuse to acknowledge their shitty behaviour.” I grit my teeth, hating myself for being so cold. For not being able to let it go for Jovie’s sake. For Willow’s. “I know you love them. I love them. They’re our parents. Regardless of all of it, Jove, I love them. But the second you let them back in without unpacking every inch of the reason we left, you make them think it’s okay.”

“I don’t think they think it’s okay.”

“Then why can’t they apologise? Why is talking about any of it so triggering for them ?”

“I don’t know, Lissie. I’m just doing what I think is the right thing. I know they weren’t good parents to us growing up and that things happened to you that I will never fully understand, but if you gave them a chance to fix their mistakes?—”

I sit up, my tears covering my face. “Don’t ask me to want what you want. I promised you I’d be here, and I will be. Always. I can support you and Will?—”

“You don’t need to. That’s the point. I don’t need you to when I have?—”

“Your inheritance. I know.”

“Lissie, please. I’m so sorry. I love you. I just miss being a family.”

I shake my head, knowing that what she remembers of a family is only what I made sure she had. Maybe she doesn’t fully understand what happened to me, she was young, but she knows enough.

“You need to do what you want to do and know that I will be here regardless, okay? You need to make that decision for yourself and Will.” I wipe at my face. “I’m angry because it stings. I can’t lie about how I feel no matter how much I wish I could. But I love you. There’s not much else that can be said beyond that.”

“I feel like there’s a wedge between us. I’m sorry for not telling you.”

More tears fall, and I try to hide it from my voice. “There’s not a wedge between us.”

When the line goes quiet, neither one of us having anything to say, I know I have to hang up. My baby sister, who I’ve spent the last three years speaking to on the phone every day until one of us falls asleep, and we have nothing to say.

“I need to get ready for work. I’ll call in a couple days.”

“I’ll call tomorrow,” she promises.

“Okay.”

“Bye, Lis. I love you.”

I nod, knowing I have to say it but not trusting myself. “You too.”

I hang up, dropping the phone to the bed as I cover my face and cry.