The Grand Duel (The Grand Men #4)

Chapter 52

FIFTY-TWO

Charlie

L issie’s dress is cream. A tight, pearly fabric that clings to her every curve. She’s a dream. Thought up and brought to life by something far beyond what my conscious mind could ever muster.

I tuck my hand into my tux jacket, over my heart, trying to ease the ache there as she smiles politely at the young Freddie chap, refusing a dance.

He isn’t taking no for an answer.

Everyone is dancing. You’re dancing.

No, I’m fine, honestly.

Don’t make me drag you up.

He does. Not aggressively. Not forcefully, even. Coaxing. He coaxes her onto the dance floor with the rest of the crowd.

The band is playing a rendition of “With Or Without You,” and almost everyone is up dancing.

Almost everyone.

I make my way to where Scarlet stands off to the side, my steps feeling heavy, maybe a little sloppy.

Scarlet wears a sad smile on her face as she watches Ellis twirl Ave and Willow around the dance floor. This is the first ball she’s held since giving birth to Ave.

Her second without Lance.

And whilst she’s been here all night, she hasn’t been here at all. Not really.

I don’t think I’d understand that feeling had Lissie Elton not stepped foot into my life. The way someone can take parts of you so easily, leaving you empty and hollow inside.

My head feels light and spacey as I round Scarlet, stepping into her line of sight. “Dance with me.”

She finds a smile for me. “You’re drunk.”

I slide my hands in my pockets. “Come on, Scar. I can’t stand and watch for much longer without doing something stupid.”

I swallow, feeling more than I’d like to after the amount I’ve drunk.

“You never dance at these things.”

Scarlet shakes her head, a frown flashing on her brow.

She’s thinking about Lance.

I reach out and take her hand, the rock on her ring finger a reminder of happier times. “Close your eyes and pretend I’m him.”

She tilts her head towards her shoulder, her eyes filling as they pin mine.

“I know,” I tell her. “I miss him too.”

“Charlie,” she croaks, her face knowing.

She tightens her grip on my hand and steps with me onto the dance floor.

We find a spot a few feet away from Lissie, and I force my eyes away from her, Scarlet’s free hand settling on my shoulder as I take her waist.

Her eyes meet mine. “Are you okay?”

“Fucking fantastic, Scar.”

She chuckles softly.

“Are you?”

She nods. “I think I’m still getting used to it.”

I sober my features, looking down at her as she peers around at her guests.

“Although I’m pretty sure he could be gone for twenty years, and I’d still feel this way. Like he’s going to walk in the tent at any second and tell me he’s sorry for being so late.” She gives me a wistful smile. “I’ll wake up in the night sometimes, thinking I can hear the engine of his bike crackling through the trees as he rides up the lane.”

I can’t imagine feeling how I do about Lissie tonight for years and years to come. “I’m sorry it’s still so hard, Scarlet.”

She shakes her head, brushing it off. “It’s got better in other ways. I’m doing okay.”

“Lissie’s been going to see him,” I tell her. “Lance, I mean. He’s not accepted the visits. He doesn’t even know Lissie exists. She did it in my name so that he wouldn’t think I gave up on him when I stopped going.”

Her brows rise, her smile gentle as she processes what I’ve just said. “That’s…” She huffs a laugh, a tear slipping down her cheek.

I lean in, catching it with my shoulder. “Sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry.” She rolls her lips, reining in her emotions. “That’s very sweet of her. She was nervous tonight. I know it feels like she’s ignoring you, but she’s as lost as you are. You hurt her when you left.”

“I know I did.”

“Do you not think you should go home to her now? You’re clearly both hurting more apart than you were together. It’s okay to admit you were wrong, Charlie.”

My heart thuds, aching, and I steel my jaw, annoyed that the alcohol I’ve drowned myself in isn’t numbing me in the way I’d like.

“You said she was nervous tonight.”

I look over at her, at the way she stands in Freddie’s hold as if she knows I’m watching her.

“That she’s scared,” I continue. “And you’re right, she is. But so am I.”

My eyes don’t leave her.

“If I go home, and she looks at me the way she did earlier tonight, I’ll hate myself for it. For what I’ve made that much worse.”

“Do you not think the longer you wait the worse it will get? Things can’t just be perfect at the click of a finger. You have to sit through this with her and make things okay again.”

“I know that. I just…”

“If Lance walked in through the tent right now, after all he’s put me through by shutting us out, I’d be in his arms before his eyes could even find me. I get it’s not that simple, and I know everything with Emily scares you, but neither one of you deserves to feel the way that you do.” Scarlet steps back as the song ends, her smile sad. “You have to put it right now, Charles. Before the baby comes. You can’t wait.” She lets go of my hand. “I’m going to go see if that Freddie wants a pint.”

She cocks her head towards him and Lissie.

I reach out and pull her back towards me, wrapping my arms around my friend as she chuckles.

“You’re so drunk.”

I close my eyes when she hugs me back. “He’ll be thinking of you. He’ll know the date, and he’ll be thinking of you tonight. We’re all so proud of you, Scar.”

When I pull back, her eyes are sparkling. “Go away before you make me sob in front of everyone. Those stupid reporters outside would have a field day with that in the morning.”

There’s a commotion at Scarlet’s back, gasps and shrieks ringing out as bodies fall to the dance floor with a thud.

I pull Scarlet back from the chaos as the grown men brawl in the middle of the dance floor and then immediately scan the room, searching the crowd to find Lissie and the children.

They’re nowhere in sight.

Security is everywhere, guests too, making it impossible to find focus on one thing.

I see Megan dragging Miles Dukes up by the bicep, his nose clearly broken as blood pours down his face. He finds his feet and smiles across the crowd, taunting, right before Mason steps in front of him and pushes him back a step, pointing towards to exit of the tent.

As the fight is broken up, I walk around the dance floor, looking for Lissie as hordes of people file out of the tent. The other half grow silent, guests of Scarlet’s who are now watching on in shock at the disarray.

“Fucking rugby players,” Megan spits as she walks back into the tent. “Have you seen that girl I was with earlier? Effy.”

“I don’t even know who that is, Megs. Have you seen Lis or the kids?”

“Not Lissie, but Nina told me the kids are fine.”

I look around, spotting some of her rugby team back inside the tent, their coach giving a group of them an earful.

Can’t find that fucking Freddie though.

Lissie wouldn’t be with anyone else.

I wipe at my mouth, looking around the tent, wishing I didn’t drink so much tonight.

She wouldn’t be with anyone else, would she?

With little rationale, I cross the tent and walk the path to the house, knowing which room she’s staying in.

I take the stairs two at a time and stride down the west wing with purpose, my heart hammering in my chest.

I knock once and walk into the room Lissie stayed in last night, finding it empty, the lights out.

With my hands on my hips, I huff, knowing I’m being a paranoid ass.

A creaking sound catches my attention from across the landing, the floorboards groaning from inside Ave’s bedroom.

I cross to her door and go to push inside, pausing when Lissie’s voice catches me off guard.

“Sometimes adults do silly things, Ellis. Don’t worry about it, okay. Have you brushed your teeth?”

“He hit him right in the nose,” Ellis tells her. “His nose went like this!”

Lissie laughs, and I close my eyes at the sound of it, my head spinning as I rest it against the door.

“Auntie Lissie?” a girl asks—Willow, I think. “Can you sleep in here with Ellis, Ave, and me? Or get my mummy?”

“Of course I will, Willow. How about we all bundle up in Ave’s nook tonight?”

“Mummy said we wouldn’t be allowed to have sleepovers tonight and not to ask,” Ellis says. “But I can hide really good if she comes in.”

“Come on, you three, it’s super late.”

“I can’t believe I saw a fight.” Ellis continues, and I push against the door, peeking inside. “It was better than on the TV.”

I watch as Lissie helps Ave up onto the bed, the three children all in their pyjamas.

“Shuffle up.” Lissie climbs in, lying atop the covers in her dress.

She settles on the bed and then looks over at the three children, smiling. “You okay over there, Ellis?”

“That…that boy with the funny thing on his face got hit right in his nose, Lissie.”

She chuckles, resting her head back to the pillows. “That funny thing on his face is called a moustache, and yeah, he did.”

“I was a bit scared,” Willow says.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of. Remember, they have to go through me to get to any of you.”

I leave the door slightly ajar and slide down the wall, sitting outside as I listen to them talk amongst themselves.

Lissie’s voice haunts me every time she speaks. Even as it lowers, as she begins to sing softly to the children, it travels to the deepest parts of me and squeezes around my heart.

It’s not until the room at my back falls silent, a hand settling on my cheek, that I open my eyes.

“Bedtime, big man,” Mason tells me.

He takes my hand and pulls me up off the ground, Nina smiling at me as she steps back and heads to their bedroom.

“I can walk to my room on my own, Lowell,” I tell him, righting myself and smoothing out my jacket.

“I’m not allowed to tuck you in?” he asks, walking alongside me.

I don’t want to go to bed. Not alone without Lis when she’s right there.

I’ve gone too many nights without her.

“I fucked up, Mase.”

He walks into the bedroom, flicking on the bedside light and pulling back the covers. He tips his chin towards the bed.

I pull off my jacket and fall onto the mattress, the room spinning.

I feel my shoes being pulled off.

“I fucked up,” I murmur. “I left her on her own. She hates being left on her own.”

“You didn’t leave her on her own, you went and got her sister from another country. Don’t worry tonight. We’ll fix it in the morning, Aldridge.”

“I don’t think I can.” I look up at him. “I’m having a baby.”

“You don’t know that.”

My eyes burn, my body feeling heavy. “I do.” I stare through my best friend. “It’s my baby, Mase.”

He sighs, walking around the bed and dropping down onto the mattress beside me.

“We’ll figure it out in the morning, okay? Go to sleep.”

“Will you always take care of her?”

He sighs, rubbing at his face.

“If she doesn’t let me, Mase, or tries to push us all away like Lance did, you’ll make sure she’s okay, won’t you? And if she falls in love, you can’t tell me, but you have to make sure he’s alright. She doesn’t have anyone else to do that for her, so you’ll have to be the one. You’ll do that for me, won’t you?”

He looks down at me, a sadness in his gaze. “Always, mate.”

I nod, turning onto my back, letting my eyes drift closed.

Lissie

I should be asleep.

I should be, but Charles Aldridge is drunk and alone in this house, and I can’t sleep until I see him. Until I have proof that he’s safe and okay and didn’t get caught up in the horrible fighting before.

With the dogs at my feet, I find his room and slip inside, instantly locking eyes with Mason Lowell. He’s in the bed with Charlie, sat up on his phone, suit still on.

He smiles at me after a moment, and I relax, waiting as he uncrosses his ankles and stands from the bed.

He smooths down the girls when they jump at him. “Were they okay downstairs tonight?” he asks, referring to the dogs.

“I think so,” I say quietly. “When the night ended earlier than expected, I sent the sitter home.”

He nods his head in understanding. “Thank you for getting the children out of the way so quickly earlier. I’m still not sure how you managed it. I turned around and you were already on your way out of the tent.”

I shrug as if it’s nothing. Because they’re just little kids whose innocence should be protected. Always. “Ave is pretty clueless, but Ellis and Willow will likely never forget it. Ellis went to bed thinking it’s the greatest thing to ever happen.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, he’s pretty mad on WWE at the minute.”

“That makes sense.” I smile.

He looks down at Charlie and then back at me. “I’ll leave you to get some sleep.” He steps around me. “Good night.”

“Mason,” I say, waiting for him to turn. My hands twist at my front as I contemplate my question. “Is…is he okay?” I swallow around the lump in my throat. “I didn’t give him a chance to talk tonight and then he was drinking a lot. I’m…stupidly—horribly—stubborn at times. But I hate to see him like this.” I look down at the beautiful man in the bed, my heart aching at the sight of him. “Is he okay?” I whisper, and look back towards Mason. “I needed to know he’s okay tonight.”

Mason stares at me before his gaze falls to his friend, his face growing softer than I’ve ever seen it at whatever thought passes through his mind. “Yeah.” He nods reassuringly at me. “He’s alright, Lissie.”

He leaves, and I turn back to the bed where the dogs are now stood atop of it, tails wagging as they look down at Charlie.

I smile, patting the bottom of the bed for them to come and lie down.

I stayed with the children until Jovie came to bed, telling me that she’d sleep in Ave’s bed with Willow and keep an eye on the other children for the night. When I climbed from the nook in my dress, I had zero intention of going back to my bedroom, knowing there was only one way I wanted my night to end.

With him.

Leaving my dress on, I pull back the covers and climb in beside him, slipping my hand under my head as I settle it on the pillow.

The house is silent around me as I’m reminded how in love I am.

It hurt to see him tonight. To look him in the eye and treat him so coldly. But seeing him now so vulnerable as he sleeps, eyes closed, lips firm, and his brow troubled, I feel like there’s a knife in my chest that’s being twisted.

Charlie might have left me, but I know that he did it with good intentions. That regardless of what I told him, he felt he had to protect me. And although I know I should demand better, and I will, I miss him.

I miss him so much it’s killing me inside.

Reaching out, I run my fingers over his jaw, desperately needing the physical touch.

My eyes drift closed as he rouses, letting out a little “Mmm.”

His hand covers mine on his face, and I let him, opening my eyes. He’s asleep still, his frown deeper than before.

I lie with my heart in my throat, just watching him. The feel of his hand on top of mine and warmth of his face against my palm making my body melt into the mattress.

Nothing has ever felt more right than when it’s just him and me.

I don’t ever want to be without this man.

The way I love him isn’t normal.

It can’t be.

“Baby,” he groans in a daze, pulling me to him as he moves across the bed. I panic as his lips part, his nose brushing mine, breath fanning over my mouth as he guides himself closer.

He’s not with it, still half asleep as he takes my lips in a gentle kiss. “My girl,” he whispers.

I rest my forehead against his, simply breathing him in as he kisses and brushes his lips over my mouth and cheek.

I’m weak. My parents never acknowledged or apologised for what they did to me and Jovie, and it’s for that very reason I refuse to let them be a part of my life now. And yet as Charlie’s arms wrap around me, my body one with his, the warmth and safety surrounding me making my eyes flutter closed, I wonder how little acknowledgement it would take from him for me to cave.

To forgive him completely.

He’s apologised over and over, and I know that I still trust him.

I still feel safe in his arms.

Maybe only in his arms.

“Lissie…”

I open my eyes and meet his stare, our foreheads braced.

His blue eyes shine as he whispers, “Baby, I want to come home.”

A spark of hope flares in my chest as I feed from his words. All I’ve wanted for the past few weeks is to have him come home. To walk in the front door and tell me he never should have left.

It feels like I’ve lived that dream a thousand times over throughout my life.

“Can I?” he rasps. “Please. Will you let me come home?”

I frown, swallowing back the emotion in my throat. “It’s your house, Charlie. You don’t have to ask me.”

“House?” he repeats, confused. “Baby, I’m not just talking about the cottage. In fact, the cottage isn’t what I’m talking about at all. I mean you. You’re my home. I just need you.”

I swallow, my eyes flicking between his, knowing the second I let him back in I’m setting a standard, a green light for him to do it again.

What if giving him a second chance is the right thing, though?

What if he’s as good of a man as I think he is?

“Lis, please?—”

“I said it’s your house,” I say, cutting him off and meaning my every word.

I am yours.

“If you want to come home, I’m yours to come home to.”

His stare remains fixed on me, eyes wide as if he never expected me to give in.

Like I’d never give my heart back to him.

Truth is, he’s had it this entire time.

“I—”

“Won’t be sleeping in the bed. It shouldn’t have taken you this long to come home,” I say in explanation. “You can sleep in one of the spare rooms.”

His chest caves, his arms tightening around me. “Fine. Yes, of course.”

“Charlie,” I whisper, trying to keep my voice from shaking.

His gaze settles on mine, and I can already see him trying to find a way. A way to make everything better. Perfect.

“If you ever leave me again, I will not forgive you for it. You will lose me.”

He shakes his head. “I won’t,” he promises. “I won’t, baby, I?—”

“If you ever lie to me again,” I continue, my lips trembling, “you’ll lose me.”

He swallows, his jaw going taut.

“It doesn’t matter how much I love you,” I tell him, my eyes unblinking. “How good the excuse is. I can’t live my life hoping you’re going to be a good man. Not if your intention is to protect my heart from the world because what you’re striving for is impossible.” I wipe the tear that falls down my face, and he takes my hand in his, closing his eyes as he pulls it to lie on his chest between us. “I know who you are. I know how good you are.”

“Lissie—”

“Let me cry alone in the shower sometimes. We’re girls, we do it. We feel everything. And know that the peace you fight so hard to find, I want that too, but you’ll never be able to fix things completely—not for any of us,” I add, knowing how much our friends’ happiness means to him. “I promise that when you hold me like this, like you are right now, when you choose to stay and face things with me…you make the bad in this world feel a million miles from where we are. You don’t have to lie to protect me. You don’t have to leave. You just have to stay. Just let me…be,” I try to explain. “Let me exist .” My eyes fill with tears as I stare into his blue ones, praying he gets it. Praying he doesn’t ever leave me again, because I’m terrified of what that would do to us both. “You told me that once. That if I existed, you’d be okay. Well, know that your existence is enough, too, Charles. It’s all I need.”

A tear bumps over his nose, his eyes lost on me. “All I can think is that I don’t deserve you, Lissie Elton. That you’re too good. Worth more.”

“But you’re not thinking that, are you, Charles,” I tell him, resolute. “You’re thinking that you are worthy of my love. That you are worth being with. I could love anyone, but I choose to love you. In fact, try to leave me—” My voice cracks. “Try.” I shake my head, hating what that reality makes of me. “Test me, and see how much I choose to love you.”

I should be ashamed of the depths I’m willing to go.

Of how much I’ve given.

But I’m not.

I’d do it all again if it meant I had one more happy moment with Charlie.

“I’m not going to leave you,” he swears. “I’m not going anywhere.”

My teeth clench, and I nod, feeling the weight on my chest lift.

“I love you.” He goes to kiss me, and I panic, twisting my face, his lips meeting my cheek.

He inches away slowly, the pain in his eyes threatening to ruin me.

“I love you, Lissie,” he rasps, pleading.

I drop my eyes to his mouth, and then lean in, knowing I shouldn’t feel so nervous.

His eyes close as he lets out a shaky breath.

Dipping my head, my lips part, and I place a deep, lingering kiss against his mouth, letting out a moan when his hand comes up to hold my face.