The Grump Whisperer (Morningsong Farm #1)

Fourteen

B ronwen inhaled deeply as Hades picked his way carefully along the trail, air rich with the smell of defrosting earth, damp leaves and undergrowth filling her lungs. Finally, it was warm enough for a decent trail ride, and Olivia hadn’t given her a moment’s peace until she’d put aside her work and agreed to join her.

Sunlight dappled the woods through the branches, the light still muted as if spring hadn’t quite decided whether or not it would stick around. Patches of frost lingered under fallen logs as they passed by, and Bronwen noted places where the trail could use a little maintenance in the coming summer.

Whose permission would she need in a few months to hire someone to take down that old tree? To dump gravel in that spot that always flooded with every rainfall? To finally do something about the sad, empty little caretaker’s cottage moldering in the middle of the woods, the one Ruth insisted on leaving because it was “picturesque”? Would it really be Ian’s sister, Anne, taking up residence in the farmhouse that now held memories so different than those she’d made with Ruth? Where would Ian be then?

She wished she could make him see himself the way she’d seen him the other day, after she’d ridden Hades for the first time. Surrounded by people who respected and cared for him, using his expertise for their benefit. And for hers. But shortly after she’d let Hades back out to his field, she’d watched as he’d made his way back up to the house. Yes, he’d reappeared that evening after the boarders had all left as she was finishing up her chores, and they’d...well, they’d made good use of the rest of the evening. But she hoped he could recognize what he had here, the people who accepted him, who wanted him around.

She’d begun hoping he’d stay, even though she knew that made her a fool.

“Earth to Bronwen,” Olivia said, giving her a knowing look as they rode side by side on a wide section of the trail.

Bronwen had to look down at her friend, since she was riding Rachel’s pony, Applejack, while Ian gave Rachel a lesson on Charlie.

“Hey, shorty,” she teased. “How’s the weather down there?”

Olivia snorted. “He’s like a sports car—low to the ground and fast.”

It was true. The black-and-white pony’s little legs walked at double speed, easily keeping up with Hades’s long stride.

“He suits you,” Bronwen said, and it was true.

Olivia was petite, shorter than Rachel, who looked like she’d end up very tall when her growing was done. While Applejack was still a bit small for Olivia, his round belly took up her legs nicely, and he was one of the best trail horses in the barn.

“He does.” Olivia sounded a little surprised. “Maybe I’ll ask Rachel if I can take him out on the trails more often. No offense to Charlie,” she added quickly.

Bronwen grinned at her friend. “You and I both know you don’t like riding Charlie.”

Olivia groaned. “But it was so nice of you to basically give me a horse for free.”

“More like I wanted someone to take care of him so I didn’t have to feel guilty for not riding him.” Bronwen winced.

Olivia gave her a look full of compassion. “And I didn’t want you to feel guilty. And I am grateful. But this—” she gestured at Applejack’s enthusiastically bobbing head as he marched along “—this is fun .”

Bronwen shrugged. “So, ride Applejack, if Rachel’s okay with it. I can keep Charlie busy.”

“And Hades,” Olivia added. “You’ve gone from no riding to multiple horses. Go you!” She put the reins in one hand and pumped a fist in victory.

Bronwen laughed and shook her head. “It’s wild, isn’t it? I’m still nervous every time, but I think I’m getting used to it? Sort of.”

“You just needed a little push from a hot man,” Olivia said. “Was that him I saw in the outdoor ring on our way out?”

“Yeah. He’s giving Rachel a lesson on Charlie.”

“Better her than me,” Olivia said with a wry smile.

“Charlie’s devious when he’s got a rider’s number,” Bronwen said. “It’s not your fault—you just need a horse that suits you.”

“Or a tiny little pony, apparently,” Olivia laughed, then glanced up at the blue sky. “God, I am so glad that spring is finally here.”

They both took a moment to look around, the horses’ hooves crunching on last year’s leaves the only sound aside from an occasional tentative bird calling out. Little buds were barely visible on the trees, announcing that yes, winter was finally over. Somewhere in the distance a woodpecker began tapping determinedly for its dinner, and Bronwen tipped her head to the sky to see a hawk winging its way along the breeze.

They crossed the small stream that ran through the property, Hades snorting at the water before stepping carefully into it, while Applejack splashed happily through.

“You know, I’ve walked this trail so many times, but I’ve never ridden it.”

Everything was different on horseback, as if a door had opened onto a parallel, more magical world. The air was crisper, the sounds of the forest more defined, the colors more vibrant. The tree branches themselves seemed to reach out toward them as if greeting them along the way. She’d almost forgotten this, how sitting on the back of a horse made her feel like a part of nature rather than a mere observer.

“Shit, I didn’t even think of that!” Olivia exclaimed. “We should order cake or something when we get back. It’s a milestone!”

Bronwen happened to know where they could get a cake. Ian had made a devil’s food cake the other day while she was at the house, and there had been shenanigans involving frosting and...well.

“I don’t even want to know why you are blushing,” Olivia said.

“No.” Bronwen gave an embarrassed laugh. “You don’t.”

“He’s been good for you,” Olivia said casually, but Bronwen heard all the questions under the statement.

“He has. He’s...a tough nut to crack, but...”

“But full of tender meat inside?”

“Gross!” Bronwen stuck her tongue out at her friend. “He cares about things really deeply, I think. And he was hurt badly—I mean, not just physically. But the people who he thought were his friends dumped him when he couldn’t ride anymore.”

Olivia looked horrified. “That’s terrible! They weren’t his friends, then,” she said firmly.

“Nope. But he didn’t know that. He lost his friends, his career... That’s a lot to deal with.”

“But you brought him out of his shell, and now he’s teaching a girl dressage and training a giant stallion with you.”

Bronwen shrugged. “Maybe. But he’s leaving. He said he can’t move on with his life unless he leaves horses behind. Finds something totally different to do.”

“Ah...” Olivia wrinkled her nose. “And you’re never going to give up horses. Especially now that you’re riding again.”

Bronwen gave Hades’s neck an idle scratch as he ambled around the turn in the trail that led back to the barn. “Even when I thought I might never ride again—and even though it was totally humiliating to lose my nerve like that—I never thought about leaving the horse world. The first thing I thought about was how I could keep Charlie and keep living around horses, even if I couldn’t ride.”

“But your whole identity wasn’t being a rider, like Ian’s. From what you’ve said, riding was how he built a life for himself and his sister. Plus, losing your friends like that... It’s got to really hurt.”

Bronwen agreed. And she couldn’t even fault Ian for his decision, not really. She disagreed with it—he had such a talent for all aspects of horsemanship, not just riding. But if he could find happiness by leaving it all behind, then that was what he needed to do.

“I just...I just wish he wasn’t leaving me behind.” She hadn’t said it out loud until now, but as the words left her lips, she felt the truth of them deep inside her.

Olivia made a little sound of agreement as if this wasn’t news to her.

It was to Bronwen, though. Somehow, Ian had grumped his way into her life, and all of her vaguely held notions about avoiding relationships had evaporated into the air like melted snow in the sunshine.

Could she trust him, though? She’d been badly burned in the past, and she’d do anything to avoid feeling that hurt and betrayal again. Ian had never gone back on his word with her, or said one thing but done another. But if his word was to be trusted, and he said he was leaving, then...

She laughed a little bitterly. She’d found someone to trust, maybe even to love. But if Ian was true to his word, he’d be leaving her as surely as he’d followed through on all of the things he’d promised to her.

“How was he?” Bronwen asked Rachel as the girl led Charlie from the outdoor ring while Bronwen led Hades toward the gate. She held Hades’s reins in one hand, adjusting her helmet with the other. The stallion was nicely warmed up after the trail ride, and ready for a quick lesson.

Hades tugged on the reins, eager to get to work.

“Great!” Rachel gushed. “He’s so much fun!”

“He didn’t get stubborn on you?”

“A little,” Rachel admitted. “But Ian told me how to handle it, and it was fine.”

Bronwen sighed inwardly. She’d spent years trying to teach poor Olivia how to get the horse to behave, and here Ian already had it figured out. On the other hand, she’d always known that Olivia and Charlie weren’t suited to begin with, and Rachel was a much stronger rider.

An idea began to form in her head.

“You know...” she said slowly. “We could maybe think about a lease arrangement, if you were interested.”

Rachel blinked at her. “You mean...I could keep riding Charlie? Really? ”

Bronwen was careful to watch for any sign of reluctance or upset, but Rachel was all enthusiasm.

So she shrugged. “Sure. He needs a strong rider. And that way you can ride a bigger horse while you figure out...you know.” She remembered what Olivia had said on the trail. “Oh! And Olivia said she’d like to ride Applejack sometimes, if that’s okay with you. Apparently they really hit it off on the trail.”

Rachel’s eyes widened even further. “Really? So, Applejack could stay here and go on the trails with Olivia, and I can ride Charlie?”

Bronwen smiled. “Sure, if your parents are okay with that.”

Rachel nearly dropped Charlie’s reins in excitement. “Oh my God! This is so great. Charlie was such a good boy, and Applejack loves trails a lot more than ring work. I’ll ask my parents! Thanks, Bronwen!”

Bronwen laughed and waved as Charlie tugged Rachel back to the barn and Hades pulled her toward the ring.

“I think these guys have had enough of our talking,” she called back over her shoulder.

She entered the ring and tried to tamp down her nerves. She was so tired of the little ball of fear in her stomach, the way her limbs tingled with anxiety each time she was about to get on a horse. She tried to be kind to herself, but it was tough. She didn’t even know what she was afraid of—falling, she supposed, but she’d fallen a million times. She’d been injured before, too, and survived. Yet somehow her brain had decided that this time was different. Now riding was full of undefined danger.

She sighed and marched toward the mounting block. Hades was so big she needed the assistance, yet somehow once she was on him, she felt more secure on his wide back than she did on Charlie.

Maybe the horse swap she’d suggested to Olivia and Rachel would be good for her, too.

Until Ian sent Hades wherever he chose to send him, that was.

“How are you feeling today?”

Speak of the devil. Ian pushed himself off the far side of the fence where he’d been waiting and strode toward her. She busied herself with checking Hades’s girth and her stirrup length to keep herself from staring at him as he approached.

“Fine,” she answered, then mentally shook herself. Ian asked her the same question every time she got on a horse these days, and she knew he really wanted to know. It was important to him that she was never pushed too far beyond her comfort level. She knew he still felt guilty for that first day on Charlie, even though it hadn’t been even remotely his fault. “Good,” she added. “Nervous as usual, but he’s been so good. I feel...comfortable on him.”

Ian nodded shortly, his eyes raking over her in that too-perceptive way that made her feel like he could read every thought, every sensation in her body. Right now, her body suggested that getting off the horse and onto Ian would be a great idea. She told her libido to hold that thought for later.

He smiled at her knowingly as his eyes met hers. “Good.”

“Hey,” she continued, not even quite sure what she was going to say. “You...you help me feel comfortable. You’ve helped me feel okay with riding again, even when it’s been hard. Thank you, Ian.”

He placed a hand on her leg just above her tall boot, the heat of it warming her through her breeches. The eyes she’d once thought were ice-cold were anything but now, warmer than the early spring sun and just as bright.

“You’re welcome.”

She thought he might say something more, but an odd look crossed his face and he pulled away instead, backing up toward the fence.

“Okay. Let’s get him warmed up.”

Bronwen swallowed, then shorted her reins and moved Hades off her leg. Fear notwithstanding, riding the stallion was a joy. He was young and had a lot to learn, but his natural ability and happiness in his work made riding him one of the high points of each day. She hoped she’d regain enough nerve soon to see what he could do over jumps. Whoever ended up with him was getting a treasure of a horse, and she just hoped they deserved him.

“Do you want to try the full test today?” Ian asked.

“Yeah, okay.”

Ian planned to enter Hades in a local dressage show, just to see how he took to the experience. They both agreed that as long as no one he didn’t know tried to handle him, he should be fine—so far, no noise or sudden movement had startled him. He rode easily in the indoor ring and outside, as well as on trails. She could have strangled whoever had taught him to be afraid of strangers. He was such a happy, willing horse when he wasn’t overcome with fear.

She could relate.

“You’re still okay with the show?” Ian asked as she walked Hades past him.

Was she? She had her reservations, but not for the reasons Ian was asking.

“Yeah, I think it will be good—for us both.” With a pat on Hades’s neck, she pushed the horse into a trot.

She didn’t want Ian to ask her about the show again. Though she did think it would be a good experience for both her and Hades. She’d gone to a couple of shows with Brian and sometimes Martha, who were the only boarders who showed regularly. But she’d stayed in the background, helping with holding the horses and calming nerves.

She used to live in that world—loading up the horses into the trailer each weekend, often sleeping in said trailer or in a cheap hotel if the show was a little farther away. They hadn’t been the big, upper-level shows Ian was used to, but it had been her whole world when she was at her old barn.

She wondered how it would feel now that she’d been so removed from it all for several years. Was it a world she even wanted to belong to anymore? She was looking forward to finding out.

But... She knew, although he had only mentioned it in passing, that Ian’s plan was still to sell Hades to a good home. He wasn’t sure what his sister had intended by sending him the horse, aside from trying to lure him back into the horse world. But he didn’t plan to keep him.

He didn’t plan to keep any of them: Hades, Morning Song Farm, Bronwen.

She’d known that all along, but she was still trying to avoid thinking about it. It was going to hurt no matter what, so there was no sense in crying about it now when she could put it off and enjoy both horse and man.

She wished he would stay. She knew that he wouldn’t.

She urged Hades into a long, stretchy canter, continuing to warm up both their muscles. At least she had this moment, right now. A perfect horse to ride and an incredible, talented, smoking-hot man waiting for her on the other side of the ring.

If she didn’t want to compete anymore, she could take up training horses like Hades. She might not be a great riding instructor, but she was proud of the progress Hades had made. Plus, she’d trained Charlie herself, and he hadn’t been easy.

Training problem horses to be happy and successful—yeah, she could get behind that. She smiled to herself.

And then it happened.

Something caught Hades’s attention in the distance—a deer, a squirrel, who knew—and he tripped, front legs tangling. He tried to right himself, but his center of balance was thrown off by the rider on his back, and his feet slipped out from under him.

For a long, heart-clenching moment, Bronwen thought she’d stay on. And the last thought she had as she finally realized that she was coming off, tumbling through the air and crashing onto the hard ground below was—

Oh, this is what I was afraid of.