The Guru: Shadow (Dark Triad #1)

17. Emma

17

EMMA

PLAYLIST: DEVIL, DEVIL - MILCK

B lind rage consumed her heart, fired by the fact that Deis had overstepped the most intimate things she’d ever experienced, and then having the audacity to drop by the diner just like that. Never in her life has she wished more deeply to just transform and become a different person than now. She would give anything for it, even if it was her soul.

Anger had always been a driver for her. A driver for controlled thoughts and daring actions. And as she recognized three different people following her through all her weird turns, she knew they were his people. He had her tailed. And maybe something in her snapped. She would not be his puppet.

So, she walked, quite chaotically, up to Macy’s on 34th St., turned off her phone, and got herself lost in it. Slipping into a group of tourists, she walked out with them, and as two of them had a hoodie on, too, she slipped hers on and blended in with them until they reached Broadway. From there, she went up Broadway, always making sure to move between tourists, before she felt safe enough to turn into 49th St. and make her way up to Upper East Side, where Julie lived .

It was the only consequence she could think of. Julie must know what happened with Deis and with Carl. She’d wait for her at the entrance, the doorman knew her and would let her wait for Julie’s return. When she walked up Madison Ave and turned into 82nd St., she glanced behind her, pretty sure that no one followed her anymore. But while she glanced black, she didn’t see the man walking up in front of her.

“Hello Em, good to see you again.”

And as she heard his voice, she froze to death.

“You will be quiet and act perfectly normal,” he whispered darkly in her ear while a gun pressed against her ribs.

Fuck.

“What do you want Carl?”

“You did something very, very bad Emma. Filing me was a very bad idea.”

“I didn’t file you. It was Deis.”

“And I am supposed to believe that?”

“I didn’t do it.”

“Well, even better, so something about you is important to him.”

“Or maybe, I’m just part of his plan.”

You must get yourself out of it.

I am not important.

I am not interesting.

I am nobody.

Ever so slightly, she pushed in her hoodie pocket the button on her iPhone, restarting it. Deis had her tracked – her phone for sure, too. It was her only chance.

“What are you doing here, Em? You never visit when you can help it.”

“I am trying to get away from Deis.”

Maybe that will unhook him.

“Mhhhm,” he breathed against her hair, and it made ice-cold chills run down her spine as images from the past night crawled up on her again.

“You know, we never ended what we started yesterday.”

“The fuck we will. Don’t you have a conscience?”

“No, actually, I don’t. But what I have is lust for revenge after what Deis di d to me. Now, walk, give me your phone.”

And he pushed her around, so she walked in front of him. With a quick glance, she took in what she could. He looked awful. There was blood on his clothes, and a huge hematoma plastered the right side of his neck.

She handed Carl the phone, and he threw it into the next bin.

I’m so screwed. Hopefully, they’ll pick up the trace.

“What did Deis do to you?”

“Enough, now shut up or I’ll end things right here and there.”

They turned around the corner and walked endlessly up Madison Avenue.

“You started it, you know. You did things against my will–”

“I said shut up!”

“Why, Carl? Why?”

“If you don’t shut your mouth I–” he hissed at her, but she interrupted him; maybe the adrenaline had killed her common sense.

“You won’t shoot me on the open street.”

“Oh, I would, there’s nothing to lose.”

“Do it then.” And for whatever reason, a daring spread in her that she had never felt before. Somewhere, deep down in her focused mind and body, she had a feeling. A feeling telling her to play strong. “Shoot me, come on. I won’t shut up. Tell me why? Do it Carl, or maybe I’ll just scream.”

Gods, Emma you are so stupid!

He only breathed heavily behind her.

“Or maybe, you cannot kill me. You have orders, don’t you?”

“I’ll say it one last time, shut your pestilent mouth or you will not breathe another breath.”

I was right. He has orders. Someone gave him orders to do it. But who? Why? For what reason?

While they walked, she observed her surroundings, and in her mind, she revisited everything that happened. Everything she knew – or not knew – about Deis, everything that happened with Carl , with Julie.

And after, to her annoyance, exactly thirty-three blocks they turned another corner. It was then, that she glanced behind her.

And there he was, the grizzly bear of a man walking thirty feet behind them. The same man, who followed her from the diner. And although she didn’t know for sure, she sure as hell did not believe in so many coincidences.

A daring heat spread in her trembling chest.

Finally, when her feet hurt and burned from the pain of walking all the miles, Carl pushed her into the steel door of a closed industrial building.

It was dark inside, and the wet smell of a living rat hole infiltrated her nostrils. It was like in the movies where they held hostages for torture. They walked through three doors until they reached the back of what supposedly once was a garage.

The fucking three!

When Carl turned on a single light, she saw old tools and car parts lying around, years of dust on them, and spider webs hanging like a curtain of neglect over everything.

“Oh, I am so looking forward to this,” growled Carl darkly at her.

And yet again, she had a gun pointed at her.

“Take off your clothes.”

Concentrating on all her power and daring, she said, “No.”

“No? You will, or I’ll put a bullet in you.”

“I don’t think so.”

“And why wouldn’t I?”

Be bold. Deis will intervene. Hopefully.

“Because you are not allowed to, and aside from that, I know stuff.”

“What stuff?” he asked, his eyes glaring at her.

“About Deis.”

“Spill.”

“No. I spill when you tell me who you really are, what you want, and who sent you.”

A derogatory laugh echoed through the old industrial building .

“You are funny, Emma. The hell I will.”

“Oh, you will. Because I made the FME last night. So, here’s the thing: you hurt me, kill me, or anything else, the kit will be logged in, and not to forget, I have cameras installed in my apartment, did I not mention?”

As his face fell for a fraction of a second, she added, “Well, not I, but Deis. And he has the recordings. So, spill now and I will just oversee the fact, that you kidnapped, threatened, and assaulted me.”

Carl tilted his head slightly and considered her with some form of curiosity.

“You are much bolder than you let on, sweetheart.”

She could sense danger everywhere. His voice, his eyes, were controlled while raging inside.

“Spit it out, Carl. Who are you? What do you want, really? Who’s paying you? Why me? Why Julie?”

“So many questions.”

And he brushed his thumb over her lips.

“Not a comparison to what the cops will ask you.”

With force, he pushed his thumb into her mouth.

“The cops won’t ask me anything. I’ve done worse, believe me.”

Urgh, disgusting!

“Such a lovely mouth.”

Deep down, something about this whole fucked-up situation thrilled her. And that thrill made her daring. So, she bit into his thumb with all the power she had.

He, however, did not react.

“Senseless dear. Hurt me all you want; I don’t feel any of it.”

“Just because you don’t feel it doesn’t mean it’s not hurting your body.”

And because she talked, she had to let go of the thumb, and he immediately pulled it out, leaving red imprints from her teeth.

“Julie was an assignment. She knows stuff my employer wants. ”

“Who’s your employer?” she asked.

“None of your business.”

“Who are you? Not Carl Pearson, the physicist.”

“No. More like the Carl Pearson, the hitman.” And with that, a malevolent smile spread over his face. “You will be such a beautiful thing to tear apart,” he whispered as his hand wandered around her throat. “Now, talk, bitch.”

Normally, she would’ve panicked. Probably. At least that’s what she thought would be a reasonable reaction to the situation she found herself in. But Carl did not see the shadow noiselessly enter and hide behind a poster – the master hunter in his natural habitat.

“I don’t think so.”

She tried to make as much noise as possible, stall Carl, and keep his attention on her. He now pressed his gun directly against her forehead. He stood so near her that she could scent the heavy perfume engulfing her once again.

“You’ll talk now, or–”

“She won’t do any of the such,” came Deis’ voice out of the darkness, it took him three big steps to reach them, his gun pointing straight at Carl’s head.

Deis was not an unhinged version, but his true self – the hunter staring at his real prey, about to attack any second. His body language shouted murder. The way he looked was so dangerous some people might just faint from it.

“You left quite the mess, Carl. Killing my people is something I cannot oversee. Drop the gun, now.”

Only Carl didn’t drop the gun. “Could say that for yourself, don’t you?”

“I’ve never killed innocent people. Gun, now!”

Her heart began to race.

Never killed innocent people .

So he has killed.

It should worry her.

It should repulse her.

It really, really should.

“You will regret that,” said Carl. “He’ll come for you.”

“Who is he? ”

For a moment, there was silence.

“Richard.”

Who is Richard?

And as she stared straight into Carl’s eyes, what he did next was very, very strange. With his eyes, he pointed at something. He stared intensely at her, moving from her eyes to the direction of his pocket and back.

Is he trying to tell me something?

With the slowest and barely noticeable movement, not breaking eye contact, she let her hand glide over his thigh until she found his pocket. When she reached it, he blinked.

Fuck, he wants me to take it.

She pushed the phone out only by moving her hand, so Deis wouldn’t see. When she had it, she took it in her hand and slipped it into her sleeve. Whatever it was Carl wanted her to know, Deis could never find out she had it. Never.

The moment she had it, many things happened at the same time. Carl dropped the gun, ducked down, turned around, and hit Deis’ arm out of the way in one swift, forceful movement. Deis’ gun flew a couple of feet away, and she did the only thing making sense to her: getting both guns, while Carl slammed his elbow into Deis’ neck, who sank onto his knees. Carl took him into a strong chokehold. He was not getting air, and his attempt to pull at his fingers did not work in the slightest.

Something about Carl was crazy-ass strong and painless. Watching it, her heart pounded so loudly that she thought she heard it resounding from the walls.

I can’t let Deis die.

“You will never get away with it, never. They know. And they’ll come for–” Carl began while suddenly everything in her went quiet. No more voices, no more thinking. She just acted.

Unable to say why she did it, she held the gun straight into Carl’s face. “Let go of him, right now.”

“Emma, he’s not who you think he is.”

“I said let go of him, or God forbid, I will pull the trigger. You raped me, Carl. You killed people for heaven’s sake! ”

Her mind was blank as she watched Deis turn blueish in his slightly swollen face. When she spoke again, it was so calm and dangerous, she didn’t recognize her own voice, “Last chance, Carl, let go of him or–”

Carl let go of Deis like he was being electrocuted, lifted his arms, and took two steps back.

“Not another step,” she told him. He would not get away with this.

The way he stood there, the gloating in his eyes, reminded her of something.

“Or what, you’ll shoot me? I bet you won’t even hit me. You’re nobody, Em, you are not in your right mind if you think you are able to kill a trained hitman.”

Not in your right mind.

Nobody.

His words shot through her like a canon blast. The room around her distorted, and when she looked at Carl, she looked at her father, standing there just like Carl, his arms up, the superior glance in his eyes. He used the same words.

The fucking same words.

And something in her just snapped.

Bang!

The sound of the fired gun echoed through the room, accompanied by a deep, satisfying thud of Carl’s body falling to the floor.

Momentarily, she just stood there, staring down at the blood-leaking body and the gun in her hand. Her heart pounded as if it were trying to free itself from the weight, as an exhilarating feeling streamed through her. A thrill of invincibility made her high like cocaine. A thrill she hadn’t felt for a very long time.

“Emma,” Deis whisper trailed into her ears. It was a whisper of longing.

And as her eyes wandered slowly up into his, they radiated a single thing: pure, raw, carnal lust. He stood right in front of her. His strong but soft hands took her face into his palms, and he kissed her. A kiss, like she had never felt before. His lips burning hers down, so strong and fiercely full of longing for hers .

The gun slipped from her hands, hitting the ground with a loud clunk and her free hands searched for his touch, devouring his body. She wanted to be consumed by him, celebrate the moment of thrill with him. The moment where no heaviness pushed her into the ground, where all of her vibrated in elation.

He pushed her into the wall behind her, his lips valiantly kissing down her neck and throat while one of his hands gripped around it, the other one cupping one of her breasts. His whole body pressed into her, and the hard cock against her hip made her want to roar. It was dark. And twisted. And so carnal, her mind stopped working. Right now, it was just him and her, absorbing each other in raw, carnal lust.

He pushed up her hoodie and cross-body bag so his hands could pull down the bra cup. His hands closed around her breasts to massage them while his mouth went down on them, kissing and then licking and sucking her nipples ferociously. It was a wondrous, wrecking feeling. Everything in her screamed for more. Prickling explosions filled her core as his strong hands gripped her body so viciously.

“Grrhmm,” came a moaning, rasping sound from behind Deis that made them both freeze.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” shouted Deis. And sure enough, the body of Carl Pearson started to move again.

Right at this moment, a realization hit her.

What the fuck am I doing here? Making out with Deis after I shot Carl? Carl, who is not dead! What the hell is wrong with me? It is all so fundamentally wrong!

Deis picked up the gun from the floor and pointed it directly at Carl’s head.

“Deis, don’t!”

“Emma, he knows too much, and for heaven’s sake, he is the worst of the bad guys, he’s a hitman, a trafficker, an assaulter. He deserves to die.”

“But you are no judge.”

“And you are? Shooting him? What do you think will happen if he walks out of here?”

Fuck. I shot him. I. Not Deis. I .

“Deis, I…”

She wanted to say she didn’t mean to. But she meant to. It had come so naturally, pulling the trigger, shooting him.

“Emma, he knows too much.”

And there it was. Secrets. Secrets that weren’t allowed to be spilt.

“Gwemmma,” breathed Carl out, obviously in a state of complete agony, and she flashed her eyes at him. He lifted his arm with the last of his power. “Ewemma, you are–”

Bang.

The ear-shattering echoing sound of the shot almost made her eardrum burst.

Holy crap shit.

As the vibrant echoes of the shot resounding from the walls ebbed away, complete silence filled the room.

For a moment, her mind didn’t work. There was nothing but an emptiness as she stared into the hole in Carl’s head. Her heartbeat calmly like never before while she looked into Carl’s eyes, frozen in a last gaze.

I should feel something, shouldn’t I?

Blood all over the floor.

He killed him.

Just like that.

Because he knew too much.

Because he told me Deis is not who I think he is.

Because he wanted to tell me – what?

What was it he wanted to tell me?

“Emma you are–” What am I? In danger? An idiot? Doomed?

How did Carl know who I thought he was?

And just for a fraction of a second, everything around her distorted, and it was as if she looked into her father’s eyes, equally frozen in suspense in his last living moment.

Her eyes wandered from Carl’s dead body with its empty eyes and a hole in his head and chest, leaking blood all over the place up into Deis’ eyes. There was no regret. No fear. Instead, they made a bone-chilling coldness travel down her back .

Undeniable gloating in his eyes.

The ultimate triumph.

She knew that look because she had seen it before.

She knew exactly what it felt like.

And without thinking twice, she ran.

Not from him, but herself.