The Guru: Shadow (Dark Triad #1)

31. Emma

31

EMMA

PLAYLIST: CAN’T PRETEND - TOM ODELL

W hen she woke, the scent of coffee and freshly made waffles made her dream of standing in front of Floria’s Baked Goods as a child, right around the corner where they lived. Floria had been an old lady, a retired librarian, who fulfilled her dream of having a bakery truck as she turned sixty-five. She was the loveliest and sweetest person she knew back then, and it was one of the very rare happy memories she had of her past.

So, when she opened her eyes, she somehow had the hope that her whole life had been a dream. Only it was not as she looked through her squeezed eyes into a pair of piercing ice-blue eyes.

“Good morning, ma belle .”

She closed her eyes again.

Let me sleep, please.

But he did not.

“Stella made you coffee and waffles.”

Who is Stella?

Where the hell am I?

“How are you feeling? ”

“Like I’ve been run over by a truck,” she groaned at him, hiding herself from the world. She was back in reality. Like PacMan, stuck in the loophole of existence.

“You look just as much,” came his chuckle.

“Thanks for the flowers. What’s the time?”

“1:33p.m., Wednesday.”

So, not morning, past noon. But, whatever. 33. Fuck.

Wait a moment.

“Wednesday!” she shrieked and sat up. “Did I sleep for a whole day?”

Immediately, she regretted getting up too fast, as her mind became a bit dizzy. She tried to wrap her head around all that happened. The press. Her Instagram. The hate mail. The filthy sex she had with Deis. And her heart immediately started to pound faster.

“Relax, Em. We took…or are, taking care of everything.”

“But…I–”

“Emma, listen to me. I am taking care of it. It is handled.”

She stared around the room and the bed she lay in. Emerald silk sheets and a magnificent view of Central Park. She was still in her clothes from the day before yesterday, but at least he didn’t undress her while she was passed out. Deis sat on the edge of the huge, king-size bed, a plate in his hand. Seeing the coffee and waffles made her stomach growl.

“Who is Stella?”

“My chef.”

Of course, you have a chef.

“Did I pass out?”

He laughed. “Pretty much, yes.”

“When?”

“After I fucked you in the shower.”

What? No. We went back–

“Just kidding. You passed out in the war room after we talked about that man following you. Blood loss and our activities might have been a bit much, but Doc was here and checked you over, he tended to your wound, you’ll be all right.”

Fuck. Still real. And Deis had a doctor who examined me without questions asked wh ile I was out.

“I–” But he interrupted her.

“Oh, we figured it out, ma belle , no worries. Only issue, Denny Dumont is very much alive and breathing. But it is not important right–”

So, he knows it is Denny.

“You figured it out? How?” Once again fear greeted her with a plummeting stomach.

Does he know everything? He can’t. He just can’t.

“You, my dear, need some food and liquids first, so eat, and then–”

“Deis, I need to know. Also, what’s going on outside this room.”

“After you ate, we’ll give the war room another try, hopefully without the stabbing and passing out this time.”

“I thought you liked it,” she teased him while taking a bite of the waffle.

“I do, but I would prefer to do it myself and while you beg me for it with my cock stuffed in your mouth.”

His words came so casually over his lips, as if he was telling her about botanics on a Sunday stroll through Central Park. She coughed and choked from his words, and yet, somehow, they made something in her core not only prickle but growl for getting a taste. Maybe it was his blatant openness, maybe he knew exactly what he wanted. Or maybe it was just her, being broken.

“Any other kinks I should be aware of?” she asked after she had swallowed down the waffle with a sip of coffee.

“Many.”

And as she stared at him with drawn-up eyebrows, he added, “They are not much different from your tastes.”

“And how would you know what my tastes are?”

“Your browsing history, that old Tumblr account, and your Reddit, dearest.” His smile was mischievous.

I fucking knew it.

“Stalker.”

“It’s called risk management, if I can get it, others can get it. ”

Unable to help herself, she rolled her eyes at him while letting herself fall back on the bed.

On the ceiling, she recognized, the same emblem she had seen in his car.

Definitely a ram. And why couldn’t she shake the feeling she had seen somewhere before?

“What’s it with the emblem?” she asked, pointing at it. “It’s on the ring and in your car, too.”

“That is a tale for another day, now…” And he took the coffee out of her hand. “I want to fuck you again.”

“How about I’ll go to the bathroom first, pee and brush my teeth,” she said and as his eyes became slits, she added with a boldness, which came from god knows where, “and then you tell me what you found out, and if you answer to my satisfaction, I’ll ride you into oblivion.”

He considered her for a moment and then asked, “What are you waiting for?” with a smug grin.

Getting out of bed hurt like shit. Everything in her ached. Maybe riding him wouldn’t be the best idea; her leg felt as if the knife was stuck in there still.

In the bathroom, the first thing she noticed was the sheer magnificence of it. It was the size of her living room. There stood a huge, round, wave-shaped bathtub in front of the windows, and she planned on using it the first chance she got. Everything was marble or expensive-looking wood. Decorated with many plants, there even was a tree from floor to ceiling in it. It was just crazy.

After she went to the toilet, she got in the shower, in need of a quick refreshment. And while she wrapped a towel around her, she looked for a toothbrush, only to find one obviously set up for her. Of course, he had. Or, well, maybe Stella or some other personnel did it. Brushing her teeth, she walked over to the windows, staring down at Central Park.

Just crazy. I’m standing here almost naked looking over Central Park from a penthouse in Billionaire’s Row. There is this man without a conscience who knows somehow everything about me, who violates every rule of privacy, and here I am. Falling for him. Telling him I’m his, for god’s sake. Growling for feeling his hard cock taking me again. This is insane. I am insane.

The longing for it rose in her, longing for being consumed, being wanted, needed, to take and be taken. So, she cleaned her mouth, and when she stood at the door, she took all the courage she had, let the towel drop to the floor, and went back into the bedroom.

Naked, her hair still wet, in daylight. Something she would never have done with anybody else; her insecurities did always tell her to not show her body. With Deis, all of it was forgotten. None of it applied. And maybe that was the reason she couldn’t help but fall for him. He was the healing balm to her broken soul.

The look appearing on his face the moment she stepped out of the bathroom was pure gold. His eyes darkened the very second he saw her and a seductive grin appeared on his face. It was like a switch in her flipped, silencing her insecure part while the carnal instinct part took over.

She walked over to him, making every step deliberate, not breaking their locked eyes. As she reached him, she sat down on his lap, her legs spread wide over it. It revealed everything, and that was exactly her intention. Taking his face into her hands while his hands slung around her and grasped for her buttock, she kissed him, first softly before she entered his mouth with her tongue. Arousal grew in her and as she could feel his cock sweet against her folds. She rolled her hips a bit while kissing him fiercely so that she massaged his cock with her sensible parts. The touch of it, the sensation made her moan, her core already waiting to be filled with his cock. But, she needed answers first.

“Tell me what and how you found out about Denny.”

A loud groan issued from him. “And here I was, thinking you’d forgotten about it.”

“Never.”

“Alright. Let’s get to it. Denny was your father’s best friend, also working for Richard. He supposedly died in France in 1998. Only he did not.”

“How did you find out?”

“His grave is empty. ”

“You dug up his grave?”

“Not I, but my people.”

Gods this man! Digging up graves? Seriously?

“We believe it was a tactic to get away from Richard. Or to get the target of his back. But what I wonder is, how you know all that already?”

Fuck.

“What target?” And she leaned in on him, kissing his neck.

“Being on the most wanted list of the FBI. Don’t distract me.”

Here she was, thinking to get out of it as easy as that.

“Because I killed my father with the gun from the box my father kept in the attic, labeled Denny Dumont.”

As he looked quite inquiringly at her, she added, “Yes, there was more in there, but if it quietens your mind, I did not know he was alive, nor did I know he was on the most wanted list.”

“What more?”

“Nothing of importance – old photos, a book, a journal of the sorts, and some files with documents, bank statements. And no, I do not have it, because, as you very well know, I burned down the house.”

A little smirk ran over his lips. Curious thing to sit here with him, naked on his lap, and just talk about all the ghosts of her pasts. It was, all in all, very arousing. She did not have to hide anymore or conceal anything.

“Do you have any idea why he’s turned up on your doorstep now, taking the risk of being recognized?”

“None. But surely no good. And right now, I do not care.”

With it, she fumbled open the buttons on his shirt while she kissed him, signaling to him this conversation was done.

It feels so fucking good to take over control.

When he let her, their kiss became a fierce embrace. He supported her rolling hips to pull her even harder onto his instantly hard cock. When she had finally opened all the buttons, she slid her hands over the soft skin on his abdomen, up to his chest with the three scars from the gunshot wounds, and over his shoulders to remove the shirt by letting her finger trail down the backside of his arms. Between her fingers and his skin, the feeling of a million little lightnings electrified their encounter, which let him shudder a bit under her.

Gods, why does it feel so good just touching him?

Softly ending the kiss, she trailed over to his ear and down his neck, her lips brushing softly over his skin. His skin scented like vanilla-flavored whiskey, and yet, so fresh, as if he’d just returned from a walk during springtime in Central Park. It was intoxicating and she had to taste him. So, with her tongue, she trailed down his neck before she nibbled on his neck with sweet little bites. This morning was different than the carnal sex they had in the bathroom; this morning was more about a deep connection she felt growing in her chest.

He let his head fall back, fully enjoying what she was doing to his neck, and to her satisfaction, a pleasurable growl issued from his throat when she rolled her hips once again over his hard cock.

And when he lifted his head again, he trailed his hands up over her naked form. She straightened up, closed her eyes, and let herself feel every last bit of the sensation it left her with. His hands alone let her know how much he wanted her. And that was probably the best feeling in the whole universe.

His hands trailed up to her face, one of them wandering to her neck, bending her to him. And when she opened her eyes, she saw the hurricane of heat frying her from by looks alone and melting down her whole existence.

“You have no idea how much I want to fuck you.”

And he kissed her neck once. Her heart pounding fast.

“You have no idea how much I want you.”

And he kissed the other side of her neck. Her heart skipped a beat as his words reached her chest and she just bathed in the sweetness of his words.

“You have no idea how much I need you.”

And his hands cupped her face as his lips found hers. In a storm of emotions unraveling in her, while she was grounded in the touch of his lips and hands, he beamed her into a different universe, making the world around her forgotten. All what existed did not anymore; it was solely him and her .

“Take off your pants,” she heard herself whisper. “I need to feel you in me.”

He did not waste any time as he stood up with her, turned around and let her fall unceremoniously backwards onto the bed – a nanosecond of thrilling free-fall. There he stood, in front of her, unzipping his pants, her naked on the bed, taking in every one of his features. All of him radiated his dominance, the hunter in him, and yet there was this tiny little piece of him that worshipped her. It softened his features into a devouring cocktail of obsession.

His pants fell to the floor with a soft rustle, and he crawled onto her, kissing her, her body, his hands caressing all over her in a way as if he had never touched anything like her before like she was something special, something precious. And that, of all the things, made her inner self roar.

His kisses trailed down from her neck to her breasts to her abdomen and down to her sensible parts. There, his tongue wandered softly down to her clit, and in an explosion of sweet circles and strong sucks, he made her core prickle in anticipation. Whenever he sucked in her clit, she pushed her hips up against his touch while gasping from the lightning shooting through her body.

“I fucking love your taste,” he muffled against her clit and she almost had to giggle a bit. With him, it was all so easy, it came so naturally.

“Put your hands above your head, spread your legs wider,” came his order, and damn, it was so hot.

Doing as he said, she closed her eyes as his finger began to rub her clit. With his tongue, he trailed down to her entrance, entering her so strongly, it was one of the weirdest things she had ever felt, but he was kind of tongue-fucking her. Her body decided it felt amazing, as her core began to prickle from it. Unable to contain herself, she had to roll her hips up and down while loud moans escaped her. And then he stopped, only to trail back up to her clit again while two of his fingers entered her. The way they did, the way they slid in hard and then moved up against the walls of her core, almost let her explode on the spot .

“You’re so fucking tight your cunt even clenches my fingers tight.”

It was the weirdest thing anyone had ever said.

“Is that a good or a bad thing?”

The chuckle coming from him went straight under her skin. “So good, I want to fist you.”

It took a moment before his words reached her. Holy crap.

Pushing herself up on her elbows, she stared at him.

“Relax, ma belle . You’ll love it. Just imagine the sensation of my hand, my fist filling your core, pushing every button, while you see how I fill you, how I own you. It will be like ecstasy running down your veins.”

His dark eyes stared at her, full of lust.

“I doubt that.”

“Lay back down.”

And of course, she did.

“I told you to run, but you didn’t,” he growled so deeply. “Now you’re mine, and I’ll take what I want. And right now, I want you to take my hand with your cunt.”

For a fraction of a second, a shudder of ice raced through her whole body. What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

But then he rubbed her clit again with one of his hands, while with his other, two fingers fucked her. Her mind went completely blank while the part of her took over that secretly wanted to do exactly what he wanted to do. The part of her that had fantasized about being fist-fucked like forever. Only, some things were just better in the fantasy than reality.

Three fingers.

Deis had straightened up and observed his fingers sliding into her with those awful smacking noises, which wanted a part of her to blush and evaporate into nonexistence.

Four fingers. Ouch.

The fierceness of the thrusts of his hand into her was so hot. In her, everything screamed for a release. And then the thrusts stopped. She could now feel his whole hand trying to enter her, pushing against her entrance. It hurt, like shit, like she was going to rip apart, like someone trying to shove a water bottle in there. A small cry of pain escaped her. She tried to move away, but his other hand gripped around her hip.

“Don’t fucking move.”

So damn hot.

“Open your legs again.”

She hadn’t even realized she had tried to close her knees in an attempt to escape the uncomfortable sensation.

“You’ll take my hand like my cock as the good little girl you are, do you understand me?”

“Yes,” she breathed out.

“Now relax and open up.”

And then he pushed his hand in completely.

An explosion of pain and lust erupted in her. It made her shriek and moan so hard, she had to bite into her own forearm.

“Such a good girl,” came his immediate praise. “Now, take in the sensation of it, my hand in your cunt.”

Such a good girl, his words resounded in her. Why does his praise feel so good?

“Look at me, look how good it looks.”

And she lifted herself up a bit to see his eyes full of fire and then his hand in her. It was disturbing as much as it was flaming hot.

“ You are so damn mine.”

Yes, I am yours.

Her heart swelled while the fireworks in her brought her back into a state of being high to a level of blurred vision and total ecstasy. Her skin began to prickle and tingle.

And then she could feel his hand clench into a fist in her, just before he moved his hand. Pushing it into her, the arousal it produced in her was beyond anything she could describe. He started to move faster, and he really thrust into her, pushing his fist against her core while rhythmically opening and closing his hand a bit until she couldn’t distort between pain and lust anymore.

Holy crap shit.

Deis then pressed his other hand onto her abdomen, which made the sensation of his fist in her even stronger. She had nowhere to escape him, and it was exactly what she wanted. She was his. She h ad been from the first moment his eyes pierced her. His eyes. The thought of them alone made her core pulsate. And when his growled words reached her, they did the rest to make her explode.

“I need you to come for me.”

And how she came. Fireworks of lust shot through her core and veins. She pushed her hips up, and his hand touched something in her that made shudders run down her whole existence. And while she was still riding the high of her orgasm with a distorted view of total bliss, he slipped his hand out of her, and with one swift move he was on her, his hands cooing her face left and right while the pressure of his body grounded her trembling self. And then he thrust into her with his cock. She would have imagined feeling nothing of it after being filled with his fist, but damn, was she wrong.

And as he touched her inner existence with all of him – so valiantly and yet, sensible, so strong and yet, soft, so devouring and yet, uplifting – she just let go of everything.

“Oh Gods, Deis” she moaned as he pushed from such an angle into her it almost made her core split, and one of his hands wandered around her throat.

“Yes, my love” he breathed against her ear. “I’m going to fuck you into oblivion until you pass out again.”

His hand closed around her throat, so strong until she could almost not breathe anymore. It was thrilling and scary at the same time, but she had no energy left for worrying or being scared. Because she felt safe with him. She felt safe with the most unhinged person ever because, hell, she was too, getting off on being choked and fucked.

And as things began to spin in her mind, the world around her becoming so distorted, he thrust into her so hard, his moans reaching her with a breath, “You’re perfection, ma belle. A perfect mess like the universe itself.”

And then she came again.

A pulsating explosion of not existing in this world anymore whirled through her, just before everything went blissfully blank.