The Guy Next Door

Chapter 27

27

LEIF

T hat was so surreal, sitting in a coffeehouse, talking to a guy about Zane’s missing brother. Like what happened the night we first met, it resembled something out of a movie, not the kind of thing I’d ever expected to deal with in real life.

Just as I feared, Wes didn’t add any clarity around what happened with Mike, and it’s not something Zane can magically recover from.

But that doesn’t explain his bizarre behavior in the coffeehouse parking lot.

He wasn’t himself. And he kept looking around, like he’d seen someone or something, but when I pressed, he wouldn’t explain. It’s what’s on my mind all the way back to his place, as we sit in silence, listening to Christmas songs.

I won’t push. Give him some time to digest everything. He’ll let me know when he’s ready to talk about whatever’s on his mind.

He finishes up some work at his desk while I get ready for bed. Then he moves through his nighttime routine before joining me in only his boxers. Wrapping an arm around me, he pulls me close.

I’m still worried about pressing, but I want him to know I’m here for him. “How you holding up?”

“I’m so fucking stupid,” he whispers, his breath rushing against my chest. He angles his head so he can look up at me. “I really thought we were gonna head in there and hear something that would make everything click into place. Then I’d be off with another lead that would help me piece it all together. But life doesn’t fucking work like that.”

Tears glisten in his eyes, and he turns away. Breaks my heart to see him like this.

“Zane, there’s nothing wrong with wishing you had answers.”

He takes my hand and places it on my abs, interlocking our fingers.

“As disappointed as I am, I’m glad you were there. Thank you for coming. It would have been a lot harder without you. Even some of those questions, I was like, Damn, I should have thought of that sooner .”

“Happy to help.”

“You do more than that,” he says so softly, I’m not even sure he meant to say it out loud. “I didn’t love that he was so fucking hot, though,” he adds. “I thought you might backtrack and go home with him.”

I laugh.

Even though I sensed some jealousy in my short king at the coffeehouse, I don’t imagine this is his biggest concern. Figure he just wants to lighten the mood from all the heaviness we had to work through with Wes.

“He’s definitely a pretty man,” I say, which earns a glare. “But he’s no Zane.”

His expression softens again.

“Anyway,” I say, “you like guys too. I could be just as jealous.”

“But you’re not.” He says that with such certainty.

“What makes you say that?”

He releases my hand and repositions so he’s on his knees, straddling my leg, his hands pressed down on either side of me. He leans close, staring directly into my eyes. “Because you know I’m all yours,” he whispers, his breath slamming into my lips, the familiar scent of mint from his mouthwash tingling at my nose.

I didn’t even realize how tense I was until his words and expression send a rush of relief through me. It’s like someone just pumped me with a sedative as a swirl of sensation radiates from my chest outward.

“If you don’t fucking know it, then you should.” He leans even closer, tilting his head and licking across my lips. Instinctively, I open my mouth, and his tongue enters before I feel his lips crush down against mine.

My arms hook around him as I pull him so he’s pressed up against me. He’s right here, his body tight against mine, his tongue as far back as it can get, but it’s not close enough; it never fucking is.

As we keep kissing, I don’t even feel human anymore. We’re a series of breaths, wet kisses, and gentle nibbles.

Zane finally breaks away from my lips, his mouth igniting sparks in each spot he kisses as he trails across my cheek to my ear. “I want you to fuck me tonight, Leif,” he whispers into my ear before kissing right beside it. The sensation shoots right through me. “It’s all too much for me, Leif. Fuck me until I forget about everything but how much I need your cock in me. Fuck me so that even when my mind tries to wander, it’ll keep coming back to the pleasure you’re giving me. Fuck me until we don’t even remember who we are.” His lips return to mine.

“I…don’t know…if that will work,” I say between kisses, and he pulls away, frowning. “But no harm in trying.”

His familiar smirk returns, something mischievous in his expression before he attacks me with another kiss.

These kisses remind me of those early fucks, when we were clawing at each other’s bodies, rushing toward the end so that nothing could take it from us, as though the experience were water and we were dying of thirst.

We’re a bit of a mess as we work together to get him out of his boxers and me out of a pair of pajama bottoms. Then he scrambles to get lube from the nightstand before straddling my waist again.

He lubes me up, my cock hardening in his grip.

There’s an intensity in his expression as he lines my cock up with his hole, navigating me inside.

He’s tighter than usual; I’m certain it’s the stress of our conversation with Wes. It’s been weighing so heavily on him since we left the coffeehouse.

He rests his ass on my cock, his expression straining. “Fuck,” he mutters.

I rub my hand against his thigh. “Hey, I’m right here. No rush, Zane.”

“No, I need this,” he says, urging himself back farther, cursing again before taking deep, steady breaths.

“Jesus Christ, is it this hard to take me?” he asks, which makes me chuckle.

“Come on. You’re just stressed. Come down here and give your boyfriend a kiss.”

I’m far enough in that I stay lodged inside him as he leans down, hooking his arms under mine so we can exchange a series of sloppy, wet kisses. As his body relaxes against me, his ass opens up.

“Fuck,” he moans into my mouth as he takes me farther back, though this time I hear the satisfaction in his curse.

“You make me feel as big as you.”

As he laughs, he opens up even more.

“Yeah, right there,” he says, assuring me I’ve hit the spot.

He leans back up, his eyes sealed shut as he takes me in fully, till his ass is resting on my pelvis. He settles into his position, opening his eyes again and gazing down at me with a crooked smile. He pushes up from his knees, then steadily lowers himself.

I start to thrust, and he sets his hand on my abs. “No, not yet. Let me do this for you.” He rocks his hips, sliding up and down my shaft. Between how tight he already is and the way he’s clenching his ass as he moves, he’s fucking driving my dick wild.

He rests his palms against the mattress, on either side of my legs, and leans back. “Let me know if it’s uncomfortable,” he says. He’s got my cock angled toward him slightly as he continues rocking his hips.

Now I’m the one cursing as I watch his ass work me.

“That’s perfect,” I tell him, and he grins, rolling his eyes as he keeps up his movements.

Just enjoying himself.

And he’s torturing my cock, the pressure building each time his ass clamps down against my hips.

“Fuck me now,” he whispers.

I prop myself up on my elbows and offer a thrust, then another.

He mirrors each thrust, pushing with me, and soon we’re in sync, working ourselves into a frenzied heat.

I can’t stand being this far from him, so I sit up and hook my arms around him. He leans forward, and I pull him down with me and roll so he’s beneath me.

“Yes, Leif. This ass is all yours. I’m all yours.”

I give him my everything, thrusting like a fucking machine, staring at his face as he rolls his head side to side. I revel in it, enjoying the steady climb my own body is going through as his ass works my shaft. I love knowing I’m responsible for his relief, that I’ve taken him from all the darkness that crept up on him from our meeting with Wes.

As we fuck, I feel Zane relaxing as I serve him the pleasure he doesn’t even realize he deserves. We’re a collision of pulsing bodies, breath, and emotion, every change of position a part of some dance, our rhythm so coordinated that it’s like this moment is fated.

I’m lost in full appreciation of his body, and soon, I’m fucking him from behind, Zane on his knees, my arms wrapped around him as I watch his ass tremble with each thrust.

“Kiss me,” I demand, and he turns his head toward me, giving it to me.

As much as I love how he usually takes charge, I equally enjoy calling the shots, especially when I know he wants to let go.

As I continue fucking him, he arches his back farther, surrendering himself to me.

He lowers his arm; we’re so in tune that I know he’s going to jerk himself off, so I say, “No.”

His eyes open, his expression full of worry. “I don’t know how much longer I can keep from—”

I take his cock in my hand. “Let me.”

His eyes seal back shut, and I drill him, stroking his shaft.

He reaches his hand up, rests it against my head as I bury my face against his neck, licking and nibbling as he calls out.

His eyes pop open, his mouth agape, and I see the moment, a flash, like he’s lost in pleasure, the sort of moment where he looks free from the darkness of the past, from pain. Caught up as he rolls his head back. My hips piston, the urgency in me seizing control, the pressure climbing, and I feel his cock stiffen in that familiar way, sliding my palm up to feel his warm cum as he shoots.

Staring at his expression as he’s caught up in the moment is too much for me, and it’s only a few more thrusts before I’m finished. It’s explosive as my body crashes against his, my hips urging me to persist, as though my body wants to make sure every drop gets inside.

Zane grips the back of my head and pulls me in for another kiss.

I press my cum-filled hand against his waist and tug him close with the other.

I want to stay like this, lost in this moment, buried within him.

And as we pull away, catching our breath, I realize that for an instant, I forgot.

About all the bullshit.

All the pain.

The relief in Zane’s tone as he whispers, “Thank you,” assures me he did too.

That for even the briefest amount of time, we could escape it all and have this moment with each other.

We recover from the experience and wipe up before returning to bed. We curl up together, interlocking our legs, arms around each other for a few more kisses.

When we pull away, Zane strokes my arm gently. “That was exactly what I needed. Thank you for giving me that.”

“I should be thanking you.”

His gaze lowers to the sheets. “Leif, I need to tell you something.”

Between his body language and the way he says it, I’m sure this is what he’s been keeping from me since our chat with Wes.

“At the coffeehouse, when you were in the restroom, I headed to the front area by the register. I noticed someone leaving… I don’t even know that it was a full second that I saw them, but…it was Isaac. I saw him. At least, I feel like I did.”

“Did you?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I was outside when you came out. I tried to follow him, but when I went out there, I looked for him, for his car, and nothing.”

As his body trembles against mine, tension rises within me. I think about what he told me—about experiencing mania while he was trying to make sense of his brother’s disappearance. About how he kept seeing Isaac in places he couldn’t have been.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

He tears up. “It doesn’t feel like it did when it was like that before, but I don’t know what I’m gonna do if that’s happening again. I’m scared, Leif.” He pulls me close for a hug, burying his face against me, and I feel a tear against my shoulder. “What if I’m losing it again?”

It wrecks my heart, reminds me of my own darkness. “If that’s what’s happening, then we’ll figure it out, Zane,” I say without even thinking. “You and me. Together.”

“I don’t want to do that to you. I don’t want to put you through my bullshit.”

“If I was having a hard time, what if I told you I didn’t want to put you through that?”

He chuckles. “I wouldn’t let you out of my fucking sight.”

Is it messed up how safe his words make me feel? Probably, but I don’t give a fuck.

“Then now you know how I feel,” I say.

He pulls away, his eyes red, a little wet underneath. I kiss right under one of his eyes, then the other.

“What if I need to go to the ER?” he asks.

“Then I’ll drive you. Visit you. Be there to pick you up. And be here to bug you when your health insurance fucks up and you have to call to get them to cover your meds. And to give you a BJ every time you get too stressed.”

His smile returns, but another tear streaks from his eyes. “Fuck it,” he says, wiping at it.

Then there’s another tear.

I’m waiting for him to hide them from me, out of pride, but he doesn’t. He studies my face for a moment before his gaze meets mine. “Leif, I lost the people I cared about most. And losing Mike…I thought that was going to kill me. Makes me think it’s a stupid idea to get close to anyone. And like, the dumbest thing I’ve ever done was get close to you.”

He sounds almost angry with himself as he says that last bit, and an uneasy sensation stirs in my chest. Why would he say that? Did I go too far? Is he about to push me away?

“Zane…”

He kisses me again, and between the kiss and how he’s holding me, I assure myself my fears are irrational.

When he pulls away, he goes on. “What I’m saying is, I don’t think I should have gotten this close to you, but now it’s too fucking late. I’ve lost enough people in my life to know that you can’t wait around to say the things you have to say, so I’m just going to say it.”

He looks me dead in the eyes. The last time he looked this serious was the night we met. “I love you, Leif.”

That sensation, like I’ve been pumped with a sedative, comes again. Those words make me feel so at ease, so at peace, as though I’ve been waiting to hear them all my life.

From him.

He rushes on. “I don’t need you to feel it yet. In fact, it’s probably best if you don’t feel that way about me. I’d never ask you to pretend you do when you don’t, but I need you to know…” He takes my hand and sets it on his chest. “My heart belongs to you. I belong to you.”

Considering how guarded Zane was from the moment I met him, it’s shocking to hear these confessions.

With one hand still on his chest, I place the other against his cheek. “Zane, of all the things I could have expected to come into my life, you definitely weren’t it. My little creeper next door.”

His expression finally relaxes, his lips curling into a smirk.

“But whatever brought you here, I’m glad you’re here now. And I do love—”

“I don’t want you to say it because I said it,” Zane blurts out.

“I’m not saying it because you said it. I’m saying it because after the past months, I can’t imagine not having your creeper face in my life.” I take his hand and place it on my chest. “I love you too. And I’m not accepting your heart unless you take mine.”

“That sounds like a threat.”

“It is.”

He leans close for a kiss. As he pulls away, he says, “Now who’s being the bossy one?”

We’re both smiling, but then his expression turns serious again. “Leif, what am I gonna do?”

It reminds me of how quiet he was on the trip home. How much he’s being tortured by what happened at Caribou Coffee.

“You don’t have to figure it all out tonight,” I say. “That I know for sure.”

He trails his hand down my chest, to my navel, and as I follow it, I notice he’s hard again. His hand travels around my hip to my ass.

“I have an idea what I could do instead,” he says. “Now that I know, I think there’s something else I’d like to belong to me right now. If you’re ready again, that is.”

I snicker as I roll onto my stomach, displaying my ass for him. “That’s yours too,” I say.

A wide grin overtakes his face.

And he doesn’t hesitate to claim what belongs to him.