The Highlander’s Tempting Touch

Chapter 35

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

T ime stopped. For a long moment, Alistair was certain he’d forgotten to breathe. All he could hear, all he could think of, were the words echoing in the air between them.

‘I want tae have yer child.’

He shook his head, trying to clear the fog of shock from his thoughts. “I… ye… did ye nae hear what I said? Me braither Ewan is me heir, so there’s nae need…”

“’Tis nae about that.” Niamh shook her head. “I ken ye have a braither, and he’s likely tae be yer heir until ye have yer own. But I didnae change me mind because I felt ye needed an heir. ‘Twas for other reasons.”

His first thought was of Master McKell, and his overbearing comments at dinner. “Have members o’ the clan been troublin’ ye about it?” A wash of fierce, protective anger flowed over him. “If any one o’ mine has been tryin’ tae tell ye that ye need tae produce an heir, or making comments about ‘doin’ yer duty’ or the like…” He took a moment to think. “ Give me their names and I’ll thrash them in the courtyard fer my next training practice.”

Even if they’re elders. Even if they’re members o’ me Council. Even if ‘tis a lass rather than a man.

Niamh shook her head again, a spark of anger and stubbornness in her eyes. “’Tis nae that. And nay one has been demandin’ aught o’ me. And why would they, when we’ve been at such pains tae convince them that we’re both…” She trailed off, her blush deepening.

Alistair understood her meaning. “Aye. But…” He shook his head again. “I dinnae understand. Ye were so against it afore now. Why did ye change yer mind?”

Niamh swallowed. “I… me maither died alone. When she was given’ birth tae me the healer wasnae there, nor was anyone else who could have helped her. But Catriona’s here, and all the women, they say they help each other through the birth, so nay one is ever alone as me maither was.”

“Even so…” Alistair swallowed in turn. He understood what she was saying, but now that she was considering the idea, all he could think of was how easy it would be for something to go wrong. “Ewan can continue the family line. And he will, if I ask him. Ye dinnae have tae…”

“I received a letter from me faither taeday. Two o’ them actually. The one fer me, and his part o’ the letter tae send tae me maither. I… I read them.” Niamh’s eyes sparkled with tears, though none fell. “The way he talks o’ me birth, the way he speaks in me maither’s letter o’ what it means tae have a child and tae love them… and then, I’ve seen Catriona with her lad, and the serving maids with their bairns, and ye with the younglings o’ the castle and the village…”

She stepped closer to him, reaching up to touch him lightly on the chest, where his heart beat. “I cannae say I have nae more fears or concerns, but I want that. Or I want the both o’ us tae have a chance tae have those things, and wee bairns o’ our own.”

“’Tis a risk…”

“But one that every woman takes, unless she be unwed or barren, and I am neither.” Niamh leaned into him, her warm breath stirring his blood. “And I want… I dinnae want me fear tae keep us from having a family and as much happiness as we can find.”

“But… it could… even with help…” Things could go wrong, even with the best of healers and all the help in the world. “I dinnae want ye tae have tae tak’ the risk if...”

Niamh looked up at him, her eyes wide and soft and vulnerable. “But is it nae me risk tae tak’, or tae refuse?”

He agreed, he just hadn’t expected her to be arguing to have a child, as opposed to avoiding it, and the change made him feel off-balance, like he’d stumbled and taken a wrong step in the middle of a fight. It also made him realize something else.

He wanted her. He wanted to love her in every way possible. But he was also terrified of doing so. Terrified of the curse and what it might mean for them. Terrified of the danger that loomed over them in the form of Fergus MacTavish. And terrified of losing her to the very thing she had been so afraid of for so long - the dangers of childbirth.

When she’d been so adamantly against complete intimacy, it had been easy to ignore his fears, to focus on making her happy and offering her what comfort he could in her situation. Now he was forced to realize that he was as uncertain, and as worried about the outcome, as she was.

And yet, even with the fear that trickled through his veins and tightened his shoulders, he was acutely aware of her body so close to his, her warmth and the soft touch of her hands. His own body stirred with need and desire, longing to grant the wish she’d confessed to him.

Alistair reached up to stroke a hand through her soft auburn hair, then gently cupped her chin. “Are ye sure? That this is what ye want?”

“Aye. At least, I’m sure I’d like tae try. And bairn or nae bairn, I want ye.”

There was a part of him that wanted to find an excuse to refuse her. A reason to delay, to hold back, or put her at arms length. But the rest of him was lost in the brilliance of her eyes, the warmth of her against him, and the desire he had been ruthlessly trying to ignore.

He had spent so long holding back, and now that she was welcoming him, now that he could see the flush of desire and warmth blooming across her cheeks and shining in her eyes, his concerns seemed but petty, insignificant things.

“There’s danger in everything, Alistair, and many things for man and woman alike tae fear in the world. Why should we not try tae find what brings joy as well?”

Against that, he had no answer. Alistair dipped his head to claim her lips in a gentle kiss, then hefted Niamh into his arms and carried her into the bedroom.