The Hollow Gods (The Chaos Cycle #1)

Chapter 28

Chapter

Twenty-Eight

Kai

Humanity was insufferable. Up until recently, Kai had been spared its touchy-feely, bleed-your-heart-out and cry-until-your-eyes-turn-to-pudding bullshit. He never had any trouble making decisions, no qualms or second thoughts about turning his back to someone and leaving them behind. Either they left, or he would.

Relationships with people were rare, but they happened, either by accident or out of temporary necessity. He’d once gotten close to a waitress who took her smoke breaks by one of the dumpsters he’d sift through for supplies. He was content to let her bring him leftovers from the kitchen, maybe even share a drink as she complained about her good-for-nothing boyfriend, but when she wanted to get to know him, learn about his baggage—he bailed. Maybe she didn’t mind dumpster divers, but he already knew he couldn’t be himself with her even if he wanted to. There was no room for sentimentality, let alone the bat-shit crazy that came with it. The dial on people’s emotions was more fragile than a frat boy’s ego.

And Kai was no stranger to fragility; he had his own wounds to lick. Volatile emotions were the reason he’d almost spent his weekend burying dead bodies had it not been for the girl’s timely interference. He didn’t need more blood on his hands.

After chasing her off, he left the hunters for dead, hoping they’d be bitten by something poisonous and eaten by maggots. He resisted going back to finish them off, the agitation and restlessness pawing at him with newly sharpened claws. In the following days he tried everything to settle it—hunting, starting fights with drunken men, tree stumps, and walls. He picked women he could sense wanted him and distracted himself with one-night stands—a balm he usually sought when the isolation grew too weighty. Even if Kai wasn’t great with people, he understood their bodies far better than their words. People smelled different when they were horny.

He went through the motions—tearing through animal flesh, splitting his knuckles open against bone and concrete, trying to lose himself between a woman’s thighs. Yet a bitter taste remained despite all the death, blood, and sex he tried to wash it away with. Something had gotten hold of him, infecting him with a desire he couldn’t satiate by indulging his primal urges. He didn’t understand it, he didn’t like it, he didn’t want it.

You don’t know what you want.

“Not now,” Kai growled under his breath, squeezing his eyes shut as a searing pain shot through his skull, the voice invading him.

You should take her before someone else does. Just don’t tear her throat out like that last one.

“What last one ?” Kai snarled at the air, his head snapping up towards the trees—but as always, there was nothing there. He knew Abaddon was goading him, trying to make him believe he’d done things he’d never do. Thanks to Miya, he was now certain he hadn’t hurt any of those girls. His mind couldn’t remember, but his body did; he’d followed the smell of their fear, driven by a peculiar impulse to ward off whatever was harming them.

Only he never made it in time. Because of Abaddon, he was always too late. It was a fucking curse.

You know the lamb is next.

The pain grew more intense, his face twisting as a dizzying, high pitched squeal pierced his eardrums, vertigo and nausea rocking his insides. Kai crumpled and tucked his head between his knees, clenching his teeth and refusing to give his nemesis the satisfaction of even a whimper.

He’d hoped for a quiet day in the woods near his cabin—maybe a run if he wound up on all fours. But the migraine was crippling, and he almost wished he could sink into the autumn leaves and disappear into the ground where it was dark and cold.

Kai rolled onto his back and stared up at the sky, flopping an arm over his stomach. Closing his eyes, he waited for the spinning to stop, the dark energy gradually bleeding out of him and into the earth. When he felt stable, he dragged himself to his feet and headed towards town. Kai knew exactly what he was looking for, and his instincts were good enough to lead him there. As he approached the forest’s edge, he slowed his pace, prowling the periphery and moving towards the distinct sound of squeaking metal—the swing set at Old Market Playground.

There she was, brooding as usual.

He knew she’d be there, but he didn’t want to know why he knew. He just did, and that was enough. He watched from the shelter of the trees, unable to stop himself from smiling in private amusement as she fiddled with the zipper of her hoodie, then sighed longingly. The damn girl was waiting for him.

And like a good puppy, you came running home.

Abaddon was there to piss on the moment. Of course, his antagonist had a point: why’d he sniff her out like a bloodhound? Kai faltered, wondering if he should retreat in case his nemesis plotted to coerce him into murdering a chipmunk in front of his sulking pet girl. He imagined that wouldn’t go over too well. But the sinister presence seemed unusually subdued—more irritating than dangerous. Did the lamb do something to declaw the phantom dick? Was she making him bashful?

Before he could change his mind, Kai stalked out of the woods. Predictably, the girl’s head shot up as he kicked past the shrubbery. She jumped out of the swing, her arms pressed rigidly to her sides as she took a cautious step forward. He ignored the stupefied look on her face and marched right up to her. Grabbing the zipper on her hoodie, he yanked it up to her chin—annoyed by the repetitive buzzing caused by her fussing. He felt the blood rush to her face and made eye contact for the first time as he glanced up to check how pink her cheeks were.

Neither of them seemed able to speak—her expression unreadable as he stared back at her with a tepid frown.

“Huh, you’re ovulating.”

Feeling a current of air rush towards his face, Kai stepped back as she swatted at him. He reached forward and whipped the hood up over her head, fighting the smile that threatened to break out on his face.

“Jesus Christ, why would you say that!”

“Because I can smell it.” He grinned rakishly. “Guess I can understand why you’re back.” His mood was improving now that he had an outlet for his frustrations.

“Right.” She blasted him with a glare as she peeled the hood back. “Because I need to hang around the playground to think of all the bad, bad things I could do to you.” She pursed her lips to keep from laughing. “You could have just said hello!”

“Hello,” he echoed blithely, his lips twisting into a smirk as she cast her eyes to the ground and squirmed under his gaze. “Aw, come on Lambchop, I’m sure you’ve already done plenty to me in that twisted little head of yours,” he cracked, watching as she wrapped her arms tightly around her abdomen. He removed his ratty old leather jacket and tossed it to her.

Her arms flailed awkwardly as she struggled to catch his coat, staring at it like he’d just lobbed her a new-born. There would be no future for her in softball, at least.

“You’re letting me wear it?” She looked up at him, perplexed like it’d never occurred to her that he was capable of being thoughtful.

Damn , Kai thought. She really must have taken him for a piece of shit. “You look cold,” he told her with a shrug. His core body temperature was higher, and his metabolism more efficient at keeping him warm. Cargo pants and a sweater worked just fine. He watched as she silently put his jacket on, zipping it all the way up and throwing on the hood.

“How do I look?” she asked, the sleeves flopping past her fingertips, her face hidden as she lowered her head and stared at the ground.

“Like an armless mugger,” he replied, strolling up to her and flicking the hood off. He searched her face for signs of discomfort. “Warm enough?”

She nodded, lightly patting him on the arm. “Thanks.”

Something about her made him feel more comfortable in his own skin, which often felt foreign even to him. She seemed to swing between mousy introversion and full-blown aggression, but he kind of liked the latter. Now that she was in front of him and they were alone, he took his time drinking her in. The dark circles under her eyes, presumably from lack of sleep, the fidgeting and flighty glances when she caught him staring too long, as if she was the one who had something to be embarrassed about. The duality of her insecurity and boldness needled him, spurred a desire to rile her up and see what it wrought. At one moment she’d recoil when he loomed over her, and the next she’d burrow in his clothes and greet him with her fists. Was she really a lamb, or a timid lioness?

Kai realized he was attracted to her. He wouldn’t have spent so much time picking her apart otherwise. But attraction was easy, commonplace. It was the fact that she’d gleaned his nature that made him stew in consideration. Perhaps he could use a friend—one that wouldn’t forget him after a raucous night at a dive bar.

As he inspected her, she grew edgy under his gaze, her brows creasing as she shuffled on her feet. He could taste the snarky remark about to spring from her lips when he heard a rustle coming from the woods. Kai directed his attention to the space behind her, waiting for one—no, two—figures to emerge.

It wasn’t until an old man and his beagle came stumbling out onto the grass that the girl noticed they weren’t alone. She spun around to face the unwelcome duo. The floppy-eared mutt was on high alert, his stubby little legs twitching with anticipation while he held his head high, nose wriggling. The dumb thing was confounded by Kai; he smelled like a wolf but looked like a man. Whining in confusion, the genetically-befouled fleabag pawed nervously at the ground.

“Come on,” Kai mumbled, grabbing the girl’s hand and leading her straight into the woods.

“Where are we going?” She squeezed his hand, but he couldn’t tell if it was resistance or reassurance.

“Away,” he said simply, pulling her into the trees before the canine sausage began barking at him. From the corner of his eye, he saw her glance back towards the playground and halted. “You don’t have to come with me.”

Her lips pressed together as if to stop the uncomfortable truth from worming out. Eventually, it did. “I don’t want to end up as one of those dead girls you wake up to. I know you didn’t do it, but—”

“I’m a shit magnet.” Kai’s lips quirked. “You don’t have to explain yourself.”

“Thanks,” she returned his smile smile, “but I don’t feel safe at home either.”

Kai adjusted his fingers around her hand. “Why not?”

She took a deep breath and held it until it seemed to hurt. “It’s complicated. Where were you going to take me?”

Kai permitted the evasion, for now. “Where I live.” He honestly had nothing better to say—no where else to go that didn’t require money he didn’t have, and he wasn’t about to have her feed him a third time.

“Does this mean we’re friends?”

He’d entertained the notion moments earlier, but the reciprocation brought the possibility too close for comfort. Kai didn’t have friends—didn’t know how to have them. He glanced at their joined hands, then let go like he was dropping a thorny rose. “Only if you don’t talk about it.”

Her expression shifted to one of amusement as she waited for him to continue. When he didn’t move, she offered him a balmy smile. “I think I can keep a secret. And I am curious about where you live.”

Was she now? He narrowed his eyes, caught between grabbing her hand and chasing her off. “Feel free to tag along then.”

“Ok,” she chirped without hesitation, content to follow him into the man-eating labyrinth of trees and wilderness.

He faltered, about to bark at her for taking candy from strangers in windowless vans, when something warm and soft like chubby hamsters steamrolled over his senses, and he realized he wanted her to come back with him.

He dug one heel into the ground while his other foot prepared for flight—a confusing sensation. He should have told her to get lost. But she had his jacket. He couldn’t let her go with his jacket. But he’d given it to her barely five minutes ago. How could he ask for it back so soon? It was a predicament he couldn’t escape—unless he wanted to act crazy and scare her off for good.

While his mind reeled in ways too human for his liking, the lines on her face creased with concern. “What did you mean when you said you could smell them calling for help?”

Kai’s face twisted as he tried to remember. “It’s hard to explain.”

“Did you hear them screaming?”

“It’s not like that. I’m just...pulled. An instinct, I guess.” He turned and stalked off before he had to relive it again. Of course, the damn sheep followed, but she didn’t press him further.

He didn’t dare look back for the rest of the journey, though he could hear her uneven footsteps as she struggled to keep up. Every so often he would slow his pace, giving her a chance to catch her breath and regain her footing.

When they were close to the cabin, he circled the perimeter—a precautionary measure in case he had unwanted company. Finding nothing suspicious, he led her to the front, opened the door without a key, and helped himself inside. It was about as messy as usual—clothes scattered about the chairs, his towel on the floor by the table, and several blankets scrunched up on one end of the futon. As he dropped his hunting knife on the table, he looked back to find the girl still standing in the doorway, scanning the room like she was staring into another dimension.

“Relax, the roof isn’t going to cave in,” he said.

“I would hope not.” She ventured inside, then looked down at her shoes. “Should I take these off?”

Kai cast her a dubious glance. “Does it look like you need to take them off?”

“It looks like I need to keep them on.”

“I agree.”

“So, you’re a squatter,” she pointed out after a pause, keeping herself glued to the walls as she wandered in. She creaked through the rooms with measured steps, like a cat inspecting new territory.

“Is that blood?” her voice echoed from the bathroom with a hint of alarm.

Kai couldn’t help but smile. “Probably.”

She poked her head out from the door, blinking at him with a disapproving frown. “Whose blood?”

He shrugged in response. “Recently, mine. Probably some animal blood too. And a drunk I picked a fight with last week.”

She wrinkled her nose at him and disappeared back inside. “Your bathroom looks like a kill room. Is the drunk still alive?”

“Yes,” came his stony reply as he moved soundlessly into the small space. He smiled when she jumped around and sized him up. “I’m not a psychopath,” he told her evenly. “Unless you’re thinking of knifing me in the balls when I’m not looking, you’re safe.”

“And you really had nothing to do with Elle Robinson’s disappearance?”

“Well, I could be lying, but,” he slapped his hand over his chest and winked, “no girl but you has ever come back to my cabin.”

She seemed to relax, her fluttering pulse lulling to a soft, steady beat. “Good.” She smiled. “I’d hate to think we bonded over Brenda’s eyebrows for nothing.”

Pleased that her anxiety had subsided, Kai put his hand out to her. “Good. Now, how about you step out of my kill room?”

She chuckled, accepting the gesture. “Sounds reasonable.”

He led her out, then let go of her hand and ambled to the window where he slept, haphazardly spreading the crumpled blankets over the old mattress. He plopped down and thumped his head back against the wall, his eyes drifting shut. All day he’d been resisting the exhaustion.

“Going to sleep?” she asked from across the room.

“So long as you don’t jump me, yes.”

“Can I?” There was a hint of mischief in her voice.

“Knock yourself out.” He yawned. “Might be the only way to keep me conscious.” The urge to nap was fast taking over—the stillness numbing his senses—when he felt a sudden rush of exuberance coming from the bloody lamb. His eyes shot open just in time to see her leaping towards him.

“Incoming!” she called out, poking him in the ribs.

He grunted as he felt the jab in his side, then grabbed her wrists and held them firmly, the impulsive gesture turning playful as he dared her to break free with a single look.

Catching on to his game, she tugged against his hold, earning herself a roguish grin when her attempt yielded no result. As her efforts grew more vigorous, his desire to sleep quickly dissipated, and they tumbled into a wrestling match. It may have been painfully one-sided, with the lamb kicking, squealing, and trying to squirm her way out of slaughter, but it was a hell of a lot more gratifying than pummelling wasted deadbeats and going home with faceless women he’d never see again. Feigning boredom, he transferred her wrists to one hand to make his point.

“I could do this all day, Lambchop.” He dodged a foot as she wildly swung her limbs in rebellion.

Laughing, he hoisted her up against his chest, his free arm wrapping around her waist and holding her securely as he hooked his ankles over hers—just in case she tried to take his head off again.

Her protests quickly dissolved into giggles, her futile struggle gradually subsiding until she finally settled down and accepted her fate. Heaving from exertion, she flopped back against his chest for a break.

It felt so natural, being close to another person in the midst of play—like it was a fundamental impulse he’d rarely had the chance to explore. For the first time since feeling that gnawing emptiness in the pit of his stomach, the hunger was at least a little bit satiated.

Slumping against the wall and lolling his head back, his eyes began to flutter shut, the sound of her steady breathing washing the tension from his body. But she soon disturbed the peace. She wriggled around to try and face him, so he relaxed his grip and sat up. Her pulse quickened as they came nose to nose, and something inside him stirred.

Her lips grazed his jaw, the sensation disarming. His face hovered a feather’s touch away as his arm curled tightly around her midsection. He brushed his nose along her cheek and down the length of her neck, a low growl reverberating from his throat as his teeth kissed the warm skin just under her jaw. The light touch reaped a gasp as she drew closer against him.

But he was only given a brief moment to indulge in the effect he was having on her. A movement outside had him jerk back. He turned to face the door, putting himself between his lamb and whatever was on the other side. The scent was familiar—a thorn in his side that he’d hoped would leave him alone. Without so much as a knock, the door swung open, revealing the dark silhouette of a woman, the details of her form obscured by the gleaming sun behind her.

“I’m sorry, am I interrupting?” she asked sweetly, lingering by the doorframe like a threat.

“Who’s that?” Miya whispered, peeking around his arm.

Treating the question as an invitation, the intruder stepped into the wolf’s den, the shadows lifting from her face.

“An annoyance,” Kai groused under his breath and leaned forward like he was preparing to lunge at her throat.

Ignoring him, the woman’s piercing amber eyes fixated on the human girl. “Ama,” she said simply.

“Holy shit, she’s one of yours!” came the excited hiss from behind him. Miya’s heart was racing now, her breath catching in her throat as she pressed herself against his back.

Ama canted her head, no doubt impressed she’d been found out so quickly.

“It’s the eyes,” the girl explained, touching her cheek to Kai’s shoulder. “They reflect light, like an animal’s.”

Clever. Most wouldn’t have noticed. Or they would’ve told themselves they were on a bad acid trip. Kai counted on people’s tendency to bolt past what they couldn’t rationally explain. It was a stupid but fortunate practice of the so-called modern folk; they happily ignored the obvious to keep hold of what was comfortable.

Superstitious half-wits, equally delusional in their beliefs, posed a much bigger threat. But it wasn’t because they were right; they were simply willing to listen to their fears, and that made them dangerous.

Miya, on the other hand, was enamoured enough with her own fantasy to bypass her fear, but she seemed reluctant to abandon reality all together. Oddly, she was suited to keep one foot in each world.

A wide, elfish grin spread across Ama’s face as she was called out. “You sure you can handle this one?” The question was directed at Kai. “She’s too smart for you.”

“What are you doing here?” he demanded, not in the mood for her riddles.

Undeterred, she took another step forward and circled around the table. “I came to meet your friend,” she said as though it were obvious.

“Do we know each other?” Miya interjected, her weight lifting from Kai’s back.

“Perhaps.” It was as cryptic a response as ever, but Kai sensed a sliver of sincerity. “I was hoping to give some clarity on that. I promise I mean no harm.”

Her tone was softer now, coaxing even. Kai straightened and rolled back his shoulders. “Then clarify, if that’s what you’re here for.”

“Your presence isn’t ideal.” Ama smiled—almost apologetic, but not quite. “Would you mind leaving?”

“I’d rather stick my dick in a pencil sharpener.”

“Sadly, I don’t have one on hand.” She sighed. “I suppose Miya and I will have to go for a walk while you try to acquire one.” Her gaze shifted to the girl, questioning and hopeful.

“You don’t have to do anything she says.” Kai turned to Miya, feeling her anxiety mount under the pressure.

“I know,” she said. “I’m curious to see what she wants.” She stood up and left his side to address the white-haired beast. “We won’t go far. If something happens, he’ll know.”

“He will,” Ama agreed. “As I said, you have nothing to worry about. I’m here to help.”

The lamb remained unmoved. “How do you know my name?”

Ama smiled coolly. “A little bird told me.”

“A bird?” Miya blinked before her eyes flashed with recognition. “You mean the raven?”

Ama glanced at a seething Kai, brooding in his corner. “Observant little human.” She turned back to Miya, stepping to the side and extending an arm towards the door. “Shall we?”

Miya nodded and followed the white wolf away from the haven of the black wolf’s den. He watched them step out into the forest, the girl turning and smiling faintly before she shut the door behind her. He listened to their footsteps fade, his eyes searing through the wall as though he could see their figures on the other side. He sat motionless until he knew they’d been swallowed by the maze of trees that no living human could navigate without the sense of an animal. So long as Miya was with one of them, she would be safe. Perhaps even safer with Ama than with him. After all, he had his own demons to fight, and he had no doubt what would happen while she was gone.

Abaddon would soon be making up for lost time.