The Horde King of Shadow (Hordes of the Elthika #1)

Chapter 30

KLARA

I’d only ever read about what it felt like to fall in love.

But as I sat between Sarkin’s legs, looking out over the quiet darkness of the Tharken cliffs, with bright stars and a silver moon creating a kaleidoscope of beauty overhead, I wondered if this was what it felt like.

I was exhausted. The wild swings in my emotions that day were so vast that I wasn’t even sure I believed them. All I knew right then was that we had a fire going, my belly was full and fed, we had a warm fur blanket draped over us, and Sarkin’s arms were around me.

“Do you hate me for what I did today?” came his quiet question, his lips pressing against my shoulder.

We’d barely spoken in the aftermath of our lovemaking. We’d been ravenous for each other, to the point of obsession. Even after the moon had begun to rise, we’d still been going. Only after I’d begged for a reprieve, sore between my thighs, my eyelids drooping and my stomach rumbling with hunger, had Sarkin relented. He’d called for Zaridan with the black band on his wrist and retrieved his leather satchel. Supplies for our night, including a leather band that he would use to tie our ankles together before we slept.

“No,” I answered, though I did take time to think about it carefully. He’d created a terror in me I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to forget. But he’d also given me a great gift. A gift of freedom.

He’d taught me what it felt like to defy death. He’d untied every last thread I had knotted inside me. He’d made me new.

I felt… powerful .

Was this what he felt like, bonded to an Elthika? This knowing, this sense of invincibility?

“You were worried about that?” I asked, turning my head to look at him.

“Don’t misunderstand me,” he told me carefully, reaching up to trace the curve of my face, his fingers running over my scar. “I will never regret what I did to you today. It was necessary. But I never wanted to hurt you.”

My entire body hurt, but somehow I felt weightless.

“I meant what I said. When I first saw you in Dothik…I never imagined that it would be like this,” he admitted.

Together? Was that what he meant? Us, naked, on the edge of a cliff?

“You knew who I was,” I murmured, “when you saw me in the market.”

“I had scouts on you, yes,” he told me. “But I only knew you were part of the royal family, one of the Dothikkar ’s daughters.”

“Was it always your intention to marry one of us?”

My gut churned, thinking that he could have easily demanded Alanis. Or Lakkis, the beauty of the family. I would have never known him like this.

If not for the scar that Zaridan had marked me with.

A sharp breath left him. His eyes darted back and forth between mine before dropping to my lips briefly.

“No,” he answered. “I never had any intention of taking a Dakkari wife. You were a surprise. One I didn’t foresee.”

I turned more fully in his arms so we faced one another, placing my legs underneath his drawn-up knees.

“You mentioned that…Elysom gave you something called mysar commands. That marrying was part of them.”

Sarkin’s gaze flickered. “Are you asking me something specific? Or making a general observation?”

I thought he well knew what my question was, but I could actually feel a barrier being placed between us. I was desperate to stop it. I didn’t think I could stand his retreat after today of all days.

“You are very rarely open with me,” I said quietly, uncertain how he would take the words. His brows lowered, and I felt the way his muscles tensed, like he was on the verge of retreating. I gripped his wrist before he could move away, feeling his heat. “Is it so bad that I want to know you? That I want to learn about you? But this wall you keep up…it makes it nearly impossible.”

Sarkin’s shoulders lowered. He looked away from me, his jaw pulsing, his eyes scanning the darkness of the Tharken Pass below us.

“It’s self-preservation, aralye ,” he told me. “And it is habit and has very little to do with you.”

“But I’m your wife , Sarkin,” I argued. “This, between us, is still so new…but I bonded myself to you. Doesn’t that mean something?”

“And who is your loyalty to?” he asked.

“This again,” I breathed, shaking my head. “We talked about this.”

“If given the choice, would you not return to Dakkar? At this very moment? Leave all this behind?”

“Of course not!” I cried out, staring straight into his eyes. “And if you don’t believe me, that’s more of a testament to your loyalty than mine.”

His expression shifted darkly with the words.

“How can we ever build anything if you believe I’m always looking for a way back home?” I asked. “I don’t know what else I can do or say to make you believe me.”

But I am keeping something from him, I couldn’t help but remember. And if I told him, would it only create more of a divide?

“Maybe I’ll stop thinking that when you stop thinking of Dakkar as ‘home,’” he said.

A sharp breath escaped me.

I didn’t see a choice. If I kept it to myself, he would only have more reason to mistrust me.

I bit my lip. But then I gathered my courage.

“I had a dream last night. I lied to you. I didn’t dream of my mother,” I said.

His eyes sharpened on me. “What, then?”

I dragged in a sharp breath. But I figured this was the perfect place to tell him, away from the horde, trapped on a ledge, so we could actually talk about this without disruption.

“The heartstones,” I said, meeting his eyes. “I know where they are.”

His body went still. I didn’t even think he breathed.

“Where?” he asked sharply.

“Back…in Dakkar,” I said. I’d almost said home .

He dragged in a full breath, his shoulders rising. “ What? ”

“If my dream was true…but I believe it was,” I added. “They are in Dakkar.”

“Tell me,” he said. “Everything.”

The bitter thought in my head was, But you never tell me anything.

Still, I relented. I told him about the dream, about what I’d seen, the thalara tree in the middle of a forest near the Dead Lands.

“These heartstones were different,” I finished. “They seemed dulled . Like the one in King Arik’s sword. They’re losing power.”

“The tree is dying,” Sarkin said, raking his gaze over my face. “The heartstones will die with it if we don’t reach them in time.”

“I figured as much.”

“Why are you so certain that your vision is true? Have they ever been wrong?” Sarkin asked.

“Yes,” I said, eyeing him. “Sometimes they’re just dreams. The difficulty is dissecting which parts are true because sometimes my dreams and my visions can meld together. I know this one is true because…there have been stories circulating in my family’s line for centuries. Ever since Vienne. Stories about a bleeding, whispering tree that gifted her a heartstone when she needed it most.”

I took in a deep breath, wondering if he would be angry.

“Its location had been long forgotten, or perhaps purposefully kept secret, but the stories have always persisted. My own mother told me them, who heard them from her mother. She said it was an ancient family secret, that only those in the Rath Drokka line would know the truth of how Vienne found the heartstone that night.”

“Why did you lie to me?” he asked next, after a brief lapse in silence.

“I don’t know,” I said quickly.

“That’s not true. Tell me, Klara.”

I took his hand in mine. His expression was intense, but he was willing to listen to me. “I feared what it might mean.”

“And what is that? War?”

I inhaled deeply. “My own mother died—was murdered—trying to create these rocks . Seeds. Whatever you want to call them. I’ve watched my father give free rein to the priestesses in our North Lands. For greed. For power. The heartstones have done great things—twice that we know of, they’ve saved my people. But they’ve also created terrible things…and I know the Karag want them desperately. With the Elthika at your side, with the ethrall , I wasn’t…I wasn’t certain.”

“And you think the Karag would fly to Dothik and slaughter your entire people for the heartstones? Without a second thought?” Sarkin asked, narrowing his eyes on me.

“No! But you did unleash ethrall on my family to get me to do what you wanted,” I argued, frowning. “Was it so inconceivable for me to have the passing thought that you might do it again, especially when the heartstones are involved? What you want most?”

Sarkin reared back, turning his head to the side, a scoff escaping him. I kept a solid grip on his hand, but I didn’t need to fear him leaving. Instead, when he turned back to me, he pressed closer, cupping my face in his palms. He lowered his head until we were eye level.

“There is an enemy nation in the northeast of Karag. They called themselves the Hartans. A decade ago, only a year after I took over rule of my territory, Elysom called us to war. It took six months of battle until they bent a knee to us,” he said. “Many died. On all three sides, since it was also a war against the Elthika. But war had been the last resort with the Hartans. We tried negotiations. Treaties. Trade pacts. We gave them a supply of heartstones for their own use, to progress their technologies.

“But they wanted Elthika . They wanted eggs, to raise them as battle-bred beasts, to control them, to use them. It’s nonnegotiable for the Karag. The Elthika are not to be owned . The Hartans never understood that. Only after they attacked one of the outer villages in Grym, destroying a hatchery and attempting to steal the Elthika eggs there, did we declare our war against them.”

I processed this information carefully and then asked, “Why not use the ethrall on them?”

“Because they used the heartstones we gave them to develop a new technology. It acted like a shield against the ethrall . We couldn’t pierce it—and not all Elthika have the ability to use ethrall , only some of the Vyrin. Elysom’s offering toward peace ended up prolonging a war that lasted months, one that could have been won in moments and saved countless lives.”

“Then wouldn’t you argue that the war with the Hartans taught the Karag to trust less, to not be so merciful?”

“I’m trying to make you understand that war only happens in extreme circumstances and usually on the heels of a horrendous act that cannot be forgiven,” Sarkin answered, more passionate than I’d ever seen him, his cheeks flushed, a scowl on his face. “There are those in Elysom who believe that as long as the Dakkari have possession of the heartstones, there will always be a threat of war. That is why we’ve been watching you for the last few decades. Your people do not yet have the technologies that would be a great threat to us…but with time, you will.”

“So you will take the heartstones away,” I answered, his hands falling away from my face. “Now that you know where they are. You hoped they were here . But maybe there was a reason Zaridan marked me , a descendent of Rath Drokka. To lead you to the thalara tree, where my ancestor had once found a heartstone.”

“Perhaps,” Sarkin said, and I didn’t know why I felt such a stunning throb of disappointment at the word. I couldn’t help but rear back, but Sarkin took my hand, not allowing me to pull away. “But I like to think there was a greater reason.”

A little pinprick of hope had me raising my eyes to his.

“And what is that?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

He shook his head, a slight smile lifting the left side of his mouth. He wouldn’t tell me. Instead, he sighed and leaned forward, brushing his lips against mine. I met his kiss hesitantly, but I met it nonetheless.

“The Karag have more honor than swooping into another territory and stealing something infinitely valuable, like common thieves,” he told me when he pulled back. I felt the words across my lips as his eyes dipped to them. “I will need to take this information to Elysom. There will be negotiations. To destroy a thalara tree is a dire choice, but Dakkar will get their share. And yes, after my showing of the ethrall , your father might think twice about trying for more.”

“And if he doesn’t?” I couldn’t help but ask. “If he argues that the tree grew in Dakkari soil, then it wouldn’t belong to you and you would have no claim to it. You cannot deny that truth.”

“There is the possibility, yes,” Sarkin said. “Technically we have no claim to the heartstones. But we do need them. To create more. And we won’t be denied them.”

My belly dipped with realization. “Then it is very beneficial to you that you have a Dakkari wife, who is a daughter of the Dothikkar . Elysom will realize the gift you’ve given them even if they believe you’d first married me out of spite.”

Sarkin scowled. “That’s not what this is about, Klara.”

“Isn’t it? Will you use me in your negotiations to get what you want?”

“If I must, but no harm would ever come to you.”

“But you would make my family believe that it might. My father might not care. But my brother would,” I told him. “If you use me as leverage in your negotiations, then where is your loyalty to me , Sarkin? Or does it only matter when my allegiance is to you and only you?”

His expression was thunderous, the muscle in his jaw ticking.

“I’m not going to get into an argument with you about hypotheticals , Klara,” he finally said. “It’s pointless.”

He didn’t understand what I was trying to say, did he?

I shook him off. Suddenly I felt sad, a deep despair blooming in my belly. I still felt the heat of his touch on my skin, but I’d never felt colder.

We lapsed into silence. The night that had once seemed so magical and lovely now felt suffocating.

“Can we go back to the horde now?” I asked. “I don’t want to stay here tonight.”

I could feel Sarkin’s frustration. “Klara.”

“ Hanniva, ” I said softly. Please.

Earlier I’d used that word to beg him to touch me. Now I used it to get away from him.

Sarkin’s lips pressed together, but I saw his hand move. It went to the black cuff on his wrist, pressing a button on the side, one that he’d told me let out a sound we couldn’t hear but Elthika could.

A moment later, I heard Zaridan’s response, a muted roar, somewhere nearby, followed by the rushing sound of her great wings.

“Whatever you wish,” Sarkin told me.

When he turned to pack up our supplies and put out the fire, I caught movement along the opposite cliff. My heart jolted when I saw the silvery scales flash in the light of the moon. An Elthika had been watching us.

It was him.

The one from my dreams.

I recognized him instantly, like a bolt of lightning had speared through me, sparking in my veins, making me straighten.

His great body moved gracefully as it flew in the pass, sticking close to the side of the cliffs. He was silent , I realized. Like a ghost. Like he had never been there at all.

With my heartbeat in my throat, I watched him disappear from view, diving deeper down in the rocky ravine until the darkness swallowed him up.

Gone. As quickly as I’d realized he was there.

When Sarkin turned, already dressed and hitching the pack up his shoulder, I thought about telling him what I’d seen.

“You should get dressed,” he told me softly, handing me the clothes I’d fallen in over a dozen times. How long ago that seemed now.

With one last look down the darkened pass, I decided to hold my tongue.

Maybe I had seen a ghost.