The Langfield Brothers: Box Set

35. Gavin

THIRTY-FIVE

GAVIN

My brother came up with a fantastic plan to keep me from obsessing over Millie.

“Uncle Gav, are you as excited about this sleepover as I am? I brought my Spiderman sleeping bag, my toothbrush, seven bags of popcorn for movie night, orange soda, Hector, my blue shirt, and my John Cena shorts so we can wrestle later.”

Uneasy, I stick the key in the lock and turn back to the little guy. “Who’s Hector?”

Please tell me my brother didn’t let this kid get another pet .

He’s constantly collecting animals that are not actually pets: raccoons. Snakes. One time he even came home with a lizard. He brought it on the plane and everything after Beckett took all of Liv’s best friends and their husbands to Florida for an early Christmas present.

“He’s my robot.”

Ah. A robot I can handle. With a relieved sigh, I open the door and usher Finn and his duffel full of prized possessions inside. I breathe easier when I don’t immediately find Millie sitting on the couch, her hair up in a ponytail, teasing me.

God, even when she has her glasses on and she’s dressed in sweats, I’m fucking obsessed. Especially when, in the middle of writing a piece, she pushes those glasses into her curly mess of hair and bites her lip, deep in thought. She’ll be so focused I can do nothing but watch in awe of the melody she creates.

“Uncle Gav,” Finn hollers from the guest bedroom. “Someone’s been sleeping in my bed. Do you have a robot friend too?”

I laugh at the four-foot ball of energy. He’s bouncing on his toes outside what used to be his room, sleeping bag in one hand, blue and orange robot in the other. A few years ago, my brother had to shave his head after an unfortunate incident with a pair of scissors, and for a while, he sported what we all referred to as the Army Finn look, but when Cortney Miller moved into the brownstone, the little guy was obsessed with his man bun. Throw Brooks into the mix, and there was no changing his mind, so he grew his hair out like two of his favorite guys. But Finn’s isn’t straight and smooth like Cortney “Man Bun” Miller’s hair, and it isn’t wavy like Uncle Brooks’s. No, it’s grown into a full-on bush on his head, and right now, as he bounces, it barely moves, making me laugh even harder.

“Remember how I told you Vivi has a new babysitter?”

He nods, head tipped back. “Yup.”

“She sleeps here so she can take care of Vivi all the time, so she’s been using your bed.”

Finn’s face lights up. “So I get to sleep on the top bunk?”

Uh, that’d be a no. The kid never stops moving while he’s awake, and I don’t have a clue what he does while he sleeps. The last thing I want to do is leave him unattended when he’s suspended five feet off the ground.

Chuckling, I take his sleeping bag from him and head to my bedroom. “Nah, tonight we’re having a bros’ sleepover in my room.”

Finn’s responding cool is said in an awe-filled whisper.

Just as I’m shaking his sleeping bag out, the apartment door opens and closes.

“Honey, we’re home,” Millie sings in a teasing tone that has my back going ramrod straight.

Finn bounces and lets out a little gasp of excitement. “Is that the nanny and Vivi?”

I ignore the pinch in my chest that spreads at just the thought of Millie and my daughter together. Game face on, head held high, I walk toward the door. “Yes, Finn. That’d be them.”

The apartment is shockingly silent after what can only be described as a very loud night. After kissing Vivi good night, I brought Finn into bed, and we watched a movie until he fell asleep. Now I’ve been sitting in my room staring at my phone, wondering if the coast is clear for me to go hang out on the couch for a bit. I’ve been reading a few parenting books, and I normally use this time of night when it’s quiet to truly focus. Even if I only get a chapter done, it’s better than nothing.

I slide out of bed and quietly tiptoe through the room, sighing when Finn doesn’t stir. Any modicum of relief is quickly snuffed out when I spot Millie standing in the moonlit living room beside the grand piano.

For a moment, I hold my breath, afraid to make even the smallest sound when all I want to do is watch her unapologetically. The creamy expanse of her shoulder teases me as she presses closer to the piano, her fingers ghosting over the ivories.

“You should use it.” The worlds tumble out of my mouth.

Millie startles and hits the keys, the sound jarringly loud. “Sorry.”

I swallow and then double down. I’m a fucking masochist. “Not tonight, obviously, but feel free to use it.”

She turns back to the keys, her fingers gliding softly against them, not pressing to make a sound, just maybe acclimating herself to them.

“It’s so beautiful,” she whispers, her voice filled with awe and longing.

It’s how I feel every moment that I stand here staring at the woman I want more than my next breath, even as I’m perfectly aware that I can’t have her. “Use it, Millie. I bought it for—” I clear my throat, looking away. Fuck. I’m sure my ears are tinged red as my entire body heats.

Millie’s already walking toward me. “What?”

My fight-or-flight instinct kicks in. Allowing her close to me right now would be a disaster. I’m weak. Tired. Desperate.

I brush past her as I spot the book I came out to read on the table. “Nothing. Forget it. Use it or don’t. I don’t care either way.” Then I grab the parenting book and head for the front door, hoping none of the guys are out here hanging in the common area.

I almost smile when I realize which parenting book I grabbed. The Single Dad’s Survival Guide .

I’m already taking out my pen, knowing the note I’ll be jotting in the margin and underlining three times: Don’t Fuck The Nanny.

“Stop moving,” I growl, eyes squeezed shut.

The kid kicked out of his sleeping bag minutes after I climbed into bed. I swear he’s a trapeze artist in his sleep. My kidneys will never be the same after a night like last night.

“Uncle Gav, Uncle Gav.”

At the urgency in his voice, I force my eyes open and focus on him in the dim early-morning light. He’s sitting up beside me, holding a pillow over his head, worry lining his face.

I jackknife up, ready to face whatever has him upset. Once again, I can’t help but suspect that he brought one of his pets over and it’s now loose in my bed. “What’s wrong, buddy?”

He points at the mattress beneath him with a huff.

Holding my breath, I scan for a bug or another critter, but it looks like it’s just the two of us.

“My tooth!” he shrieks.

I’m still half-asleep, so I’m a little slow, yeah, but I’m struggling to follow the conversation. “Your tooth?”

Finn opens his mouth wide and points to a hole along his bottom teeth.

Motherducker, how’d I miss that?

“It came out while I was brushing my teeth last night. I put it under my pillow just like I’m sposed to. Then I touched the red light on your clock and made my wish, but it didn’t come true.”

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I sit up against the headboard. “Touched the red light?”

“ Yeah . Phoebe and Collette said you gotta touch the red light at 11:11 and make a wish.”

“That’s a different thing.”

“My tooth is still here,” Finn whimpers, his volume getting louder.

“Shh.” I grasp his hand and check the clock.

Six a.m. I didn’t hear Vivi get up in the middle of the night, and though I’d love to believe she slept through the night, I have no doubt Millie was up with her, even though I told her I’d prefer taking the night shift. Traveling with a tired nanny this week seems less than ideal.

“Bossman said this wouldn’t happen again.” Finn crosses his arms, a big pout on his face. He’s wearing his John Cena pajamas, and as he promised, we wrestled as soon as he put them on last night.

Despite the panic rolling through me because I don’t have a clue how to fix this situation, I can’t help but smile at the kid. He’s awfully fucking cute, even when he’s upset.

“Finn, bud, I’m sure there’s a reason the tooth fairy didn’t come. Maybe she only comes to your house.”

Finn’s eyes widen. “The tooth fairy isn’t a girl !”

Oh. Oh shit. I really am not winning here.

Instead of cringing, I play it cool and shrug. “Right. Of course. Your tooth fairy would definitely be a dude.”

Finn growls, sounding so much like Beckett it’s hard to believe he’s not his biological child. “Sensei is not a dude.”

“Finn—”

He holds out his palm. See? All Beckett . “Sensei is a fairy. Fairies are neither male nor female.”

I nod and bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. “Got it. So this Sensei character…”

Finn nods as if that’s the correct terminology.

“Maybe Sensei didn’t know that you were here.”

“Sensei senses everything,” Finn grits out.

I drop my head between my shoulders and squeeze my eyes shut. I am so in over my fucking head. “I’m gonna need coffee to continue this conversation.”

“But what about my money?” Finn holds out his palm.

Ah. It’s about the tooth fairy money. I can fix this.

I throw my legs over the side of the bed and shuffle to the dresser. “How much does Sensei normally leave you?” I ask as I open my wallet.

“Thousand,” Finn says matter-of-factly.

I spin, frowning, and nearly trip over him. The ninja kid somehow made his way over from the bed without a sound.

“A thousand what? Pennies?”

Finn scoffs. “Dollars, Uncle Gav. What, do you think we’re poor?”

“Bossman and I are going to have a chat. Does this money go to the swear jar account?” I stride back to the nightstand and pick up my phone. I’ve added plenty to the swear jar, so I’m sure I can find the info in my list of transactions.

Finn presses his lips together and looks at me like I’m an idiot, arms folded across his chest again. “Do you think I would let the Shining Twins have access to my tooth money?”

At a loss, I hold up my hands in defeat. “No idea, Finn. But I take it the answer is no. So where exactly do you want me to Venmo your money?”

Finn leans closer. “It’s gotta be cash,” he whispers.

“What?”

“Mommy won’t let me have my own Venmo account.”

I chuckle. Liv would die if she knew Finn was scamming me out of a thousand dollars cash, but I don’t really have a choice, do I? I can’t crush the kid’s spirit. “Okay, Finn. We’ll get cash on our way home.” And then my brother will be reimbursing me. A thousand dollars for a tooth. Guy is nuts.

An hour later, Finn and I are scarfing down pancakes when Millie appears with a smiling Vivi in her arms. My little girl is dressed only in a diaper and kicking her bare legs happily.

“No clothes?” I say, zeroing in on my child, wishing I could block her nanny out completely.

Millie waltzed in here wearing a pair of shorts barely long enough to be appropriate in the presence of children. What’s worse than the shorts and the creamy expanse of her thighs, though, is the oversized Bolts T-shirt she’s wearing. Because the damn thing is mine. I know it’s mine because I gave it to her when we were still together. It’s one of the old-school ones in the original Bolts’ royal blue. We’ve since shifted to a more muted hue. Even worse is the fact that she’s clearly not wearing a bra—when does she ever?—and her nipples poke against the fabric.

When she turns, I swear the shape of her nipple has changed. Like maybe there’s something clamped onto it. But when I squint to get a better look, she turns again, and when I look up, she’s smirking at me.

I avert my gaze and stuff a giant chunk of pancake into my mouth. Fuck, she’s going to be the death of me.

Unfazed, Millie plops down in the seat beside me. “Figured our girl will just make a mess, so I’ll give her a bath and get her dressed after breakfast. Right, Viv?”

Our girl.

Those two words are even more dangerous than the way the woman beside me is dressed. They have the power to send me tumbling into a fantasy I won’t let myself imagine. It will never happen, so it’s safer to avoid even considering it.

I’ll just ignore it. Ignore her.

If Millie’s bothered by my lack of response, she doesn’t show it. Instead, she turns her attention on the toothless kid across from her. “How’d you sleep?”

Finn shoots me a look. “Well, this one snores,” he points his thumb at me, “and I think he scared the tooth fairy away.”

She giggles. “Oh, look at that. You did lose a tooth.”

Finn nods, his head bobbing in an exaggerated way. “But the tooth fairy didn’t leave me any moneys.”

Millie sticks her lip out in a pout. “Don’t you worry. Next time you stay over, you can have your bed back, and I’ll have a sleepover with Uncle Gav instead.” She winks in my direction.

Jaw clenched, I scowl at her.

“You don’t mind his snores?”

Millie’s smile is so wicked I almost laugh. “I sleep like the dead. It’s all good.”

“Cool,” Finn says, his lips turned down in an impressed expression.

“No,” I grit out.

“Why not?” Finn asks. “Millie is pretty. And I don’t think she smells.” He leans across the table and sniffs. “Oh, you smell good. Like pancakes.”

“That’s the food on the table,” I bark, dropping my fork to my plate with a clatter.

Millie bites back a smile, but her eyes dance. “I don’t know, Uncle Gav. Want to test it out for yourself?” She pulls her messy curls back, exposing the spot on her neck she knows I love.

“Witchy woman,” I growl, only to instantly regret it.

Her brown eyes go wide, and her breath catches. Fuck. There’s no way she isn’t thinking about the night we met and everything that happened after she sang that song. I know I certainly am.

So much for forgetting. Fuck.

Hours later, after having a nice long chat with my brother about his kid’s expensive tooth and a cold, cold shower, my mood has improved. We’ll be on the road for the next week, which means I’ll be surrounded by the guys almost constantly. Surely that’ll keep me distracted from the nanny who never seems to leave my brain.

The coaches and our assistants typically sit near the front of the plane, and the players sit near the back. It’s better this way. Gives us some distance from the ruckus. The guys tend to get a little rowdy in anticipation of a series. They’re excited. I get it.

Since Ava isn’t traveling with us, I made sure she’s set up to order breakfast for the pediatric unit at the hospital this weekend. I owe her big time, and this is just a start. She’s close to a girl battling cancer, Josie, and she and Sara visit with her as often as possible. When I told her I’d hired a nanny and that she wouldn’t have to spend the next ten days on the road with us, she all but melted to the floor in relief.

War is sitting in my seat when I step onto the plane. “Vivi girl!” He holds out his arms.

She squeals and arches her back in excitement. She’s quite possibly the happiest baby that’s ever lived.

“You’re in my seat.”

“Come on, Coach. Figured you could use a break. Go hang with the team, and I’ll keep an eye on our girl here.” He points to Vivi, but I have the sneaking suspicion he’s talking about the nanny who’s walking up behind me.

“Nice try.” I nod toward the back. “Beat it.”

War pushes up to a stand, big smirk on his face, and leans in to kiss Vivi’s cheek. “Your papa used to be much more chill, Vivi girl. We gotta work on him.”

My daughter grabs hold of War’s thumb and yanks, bringing it to her mouth. Before she can make contact, I gently pry her fingers off. “Get away from my daughter.”

With a rumbling laugh, he saunters down the aisle. On one side of the aisle is a set of oversized leather seats with tables between them. The seats on the other side have no table.

Before Vivi, I would sit at a table. Always.

I’d have my coffee, talk to the coach—at the time my scumbag uncle—laughing or smiling the whole way.

But I’m not that man anymore. It’s not lost on me that I don’t smile as much. I’m trying. But it’s hard to keep up the facade when I’m focused on keeping my head above water.

Millie waits for me to sit, still holding the diaper bag and her carry-on. What I want to do—what would put an instant smile on my face—is take Vivi and Millie to the corner in the front of the plane where it’s just us. I want to hold Millie’s hand during takeoff while she cradles my daughter. I want to smile at her while Vivi dozes in her arms, and I want to whisper secrets, tuning out the rest of the world.

What I’m going to do, though, is very different. “I’ve got it from here.”

Millie’s lips turn down and her brows pull together. “Huh?”

“Set the diaper bag on that seat right there.” I wave a dismissive hand. “Then go sit in the back with your brother.”

“Don’t you need me to help?” Even as she asks it, she sounds resigned to my answer.

Yes is what makes sense. It’s why I hired her. It’s why she’s on this plane and in my life.But I can’t be that close to her. Not in such an enclosed space.

“No. You’ll be with her all week. This is the perfect chance for you to have a break and for me to spend time alone with her before I have to deal with practice and games and the media circus.” Without waiting for Millie to reply, I settle in the seat by the window and fix my attention on the tarmac. Even as I avoid her gaze, it’s impossible not to feel the shock radiating off her.

It eats at me, this uncontrollable feeling, making me hate myself with every second that I don’t return her gaze.

“Baby Hall, you’re traveling with us!” At the sound of Camden Snow’s voice, I can’t help but turn. Camden—“Ice” to his teammates and fans—puts a hand on Millie’s waist and steps up close.

Mine , I want to growl. Hands off.

Instead, I bite down and keep my mouth shut.

Millie’s frown morphs into a smile. “Sure am. Can I sit with you? Apparently, I’m not needed up here.” Her tone is sticky sweet and fake as can be.

We’re both playing roles that we don’t want to perform, but it’s better this way.

Or at least that’s what I’ll keep telling myself.