SEVEN
LENNOX
My dearest Lennox,
I know you are probably very angry with me. But please know I have only the best intentions, and I love you.
Eyes squeezed shut, I will myself not to cry. I’ve had this letter from my grandmother for two weeks already, and still, I can’t get past this first sentence. When my phone buzzes, I let out a breath of relief and use the interruption as an excuse to fold the letter up and stuff it into my bag. Don’t need Aiden and his bride to show up and discover me blubbering over my grandmother’s last words to me.
Mom: You know you can’t hide forever.
Me: I’m not hiding. I’m in Boston. Out and about. I live at 2018 Langfield Way, in apartment 16 B. Come visit.
Mom: Don’t be sarcastic.
Me: I’m not. We can have tea and cookies and chat all about your ridiculous obsession with my dating life.
Mom: Your father and I only want what’s best for you. And we didn’t write the trust.
Hands balled into fists, I scream. I know they didn’t write the trust. I know exactly who did. And I know word for word what it says. Doesn’t make it any easier to understand or accept. What was my grandmother thinking?
If I could force myself to read this damn letter, maybe I’d get answers, but it’s the last piece I have of the one person who loved me unconditionally, and I’m not ready to shatter that memory of her.
I blow out a slow, uneven breath as my heart pounds wildly in my chest. My hand shakes as I lift the phone back up, contemplating a response.
It’s fine. I don’t need their money. I don’t need the trust. As long as this job goes well, I’m fine. I can stand on my own two feet. Fortunately, I’m living rent free in the Langfield building. If I just squirrel away as much as I can until they cut me off completely?—
Ugh, even the thought of it gives me the hives. I know I said that money like my parents have is stifling, but it also provides shoes, and I really freaking like my shoes. But what choice do I have? I can’t do what they’re demanding.
An image of the kind of man my father would propose hits me, and a shiver runs down my spine.
“Nope. No can do. No shoe is worth that .”
A woman nearby grabs her child and steers him away from the crazy woman in pink who’s talking to herself about shoes.
Defeated, I spin and check the time on my phone. Where the hell is Jill? I emailed today’s schedule to both her and Aiden. This is our first stop, and they’re late. This venue is in a park. There’s a carousel that would make a cool backdrop for photos. I can already picture all the wild hockey boys in tuxes, making fools of themselves on the bright-colored ponies.
It’s a perfect spot for Aiden.
Not that I haven’t considered Jill. We could set up an elegant tent, keep the details classy, with pops of fun. I’m quite proud of this option, as was my boss when I mentioned it to her.
My top priority now is to impress her with my skills rather than my name, since soon, my family will make it clear that I’ve got nothing to back it up. I won’t have the ability to attract event contracts the way she probably hopes I will. I can’t offer up family parties as more business. It’s just me, my big, bright, pink personality, and the shoes I already own. Hopefully that’s enough.
I bite my nail as I scan the park, searching for the happy couple, and jump out of my skin as a strong hand lands on my shoulder. “Hey, Lex.”
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
Lex.
That single syllable, said in that voice, transports me back to every moment that ever existed between us.
A word whispered between kisses. A moan. A plea as he sank inside me for the first time, his eyes holding mine, so concerned. His brows furrowed as he studied my every expression, making sure that it was good for me too. Making sure it didn’t hurt too much.
Aiden Langfield was the sweetest boy that ever existed. He loved me enough in those few years to last me a lifetime.
That’s what I tell myself, at least.
“Lex,” he says again, softer now, his brow furrowed in that familiar way.
Oh shit. I blink myself ten years into the present.
A hard swallow, a step back so that I’m out of his grip, away from his scent, and distanced from his mouth to ensure that I won’t mount my lips against his.
“Lennox,” I remind him.
A smile splits his face, that damn dimple winking at me. “We playing that game?”
“What game?”
“The one where you and I pretend we don’t know one another. The one where we pretend I don’t have a nickname for you?”
I suck in a heavy breath, fighting the dizziness that overtakes me. The bright summer day grows hazy as my head spins. Where is the air, and why won’t it make it to my lungs?
“Was I supposed to tell your fiancée that we used to date?”
Flinching, Aiden steps back. I miss the heat of him immediately. “I told her.”
“You what?” I ask, my heart lurching painfully and my jaw dropping in surprise.
Aiden zeroes in on my lips for an instant, then forces his attention back up, holding me captive. “She could tell.”
“H-ow?” I stutter.
“I stopped talking. You stole my breath.” He stuffs his hands into his pockets, shoulders rounding, and grins. At first glance, I’d say his expression is shy, but Aiden doesn’t do shy. “And since I never stop talking, she knew something was up.”
Stomach sinking, I hold up my hands. “Is that why she’s not here? She thinks I’m going to come after you?” My heart rate picks up as I search the park for the obnoxious woman. I’ve been dreading being in her presence again, but suddenly, I’d do just about anything to make her materialize. “Aiden, I’m not interested in you. You need to tell her.” I push closer, pressing my palms against his chest, and give him a push.
Stumbling backward, he lets out a surprised laugh. “Gee, thanks.”
“I’m not joking around.” Panic floods me. “I need this job. Do you have any idea what a big deal this wedding is for me?” I spin, unable to face him anymore. “Fuck,” I whisper.
This is so bad.
So, so bad.
“This was supposed to be my fresh start,” I mutter to myself, gnawing on the side of my thumb.
Such a bad habit. We raised you better than this. My mother’s voice echoes in my head. I close my eyes, willing the criticism away.
“Lex.” Aiden is in front of me now. His voice is a calming whisper as he settles his palms on my forearms. Though calming is not how I’d describe his effect on me. Aiden’s touch has never been anything but electrifying. In this moment, it’s an explosion on my skin that risks breaking the chains I’ve bound tightly around my heart.
I push away from him and lower my focus to the ground between us. I can’t look him in the eye. “ No. Don’t Lex me. What did you tell her?”
He clenches his fists at his sides like he’s fighting the urge to reach for me. But that’s absurd. Why would he want to reach for me when he has her?
His fiancée.
“Where is she?” I hiss.
“Why are you so upset?” He swipes his hands through his messy curls, his caramel eyes warming.
Dammit. Caramel eyes? Really, Lennox?
That’s lovey-dovey shit. I don’t do lovey-dovey. Not anymore. Not since him.
God, since him.
Shit. I’m spiraling. With a shake of my head, I pull my shoulders back and lift my chin.
“I’m upset because I’m good at my job, Aiden. I spent hours picking out venues. Do you know how hard it is to find a location classy enough to host a Langfield wedding on such short notice? Do you have any idea how many phone calls I made? How good I am at this job? This place is amazing.” I turn and wave at the carousel. “Picture this, it’s July twenty-eighth, and the sun is sinking in the sky, peeking through the trees. Your guests are seated in white chairs in that clearing.” I point to an open green space, a perfect circle for friends and family to gather. “White and yellow flower petals line the aisle. Green flowering vines run the length of the chairs. A flower wall stands as the backdrop. You’re standing at the altar with your brothers, waiting for your bride to arrive.”
Aiden tilts his head, his expression going soft as he looks at the space, as if he’s picturing the scene I’m describing.
“The music starts up, a soft guitar maybe, or even a violin,” I whisper. “Then one by one, bridesmaids walk down the aisle. They’ll wear something made of chiffon, light and airy. And just as the sky turns the color of sherbet, she’ll appear.”
Aiden’s lips lift like he’s picturing his bride appearing in front of him. For a moment, I imagine what it would be like to see him standing there, his dimple popping. Hell, who am I kidding? Aiden would be in tears.
My throat gets tight at the vision.
Imagining a future I’ll never have with the only person I ever saw at the end of the aisle. The only person I’ve ever wanted everything with.
I’d forgotten that dream.
Put it out of my head.
When Aiden turns to me, his eyes are watery, just like I imagined they would be. There’s warmth there too.
And fuck, if I look too closely, I’d probably believe I can see love too.
I choke on air. Suddenly, there’s so much of it, it’s suffocating. I cough, breaking his gaze.
“Jill,” I say.
She must be behind me. Why else would Aiden be wearing such a look of genuine affection, such a blissful expression? It was a look of warm love, pure and simple. It’s one I remember well from the nights he held me in his arms and promised me forever.
It may have been cheesy, but we were seventeen, and I believed every word.
I think if I’d let him, he would have kept every promise he made.
He was that good. All the way to his core. And we were that in love.
“She’s not coming.” The words come out soft, but they hit me hard enough to bowl me over. He says them again, more intimately this time, as he gently grasps my arms and holds me still.
“Because she doesn’t want me to plan her wedding.” I deflate. It’s time to accept that I’m going to lose this job. I let out a weary sigh. “I understand. I’ll turn all the information I’ve collected over to one of the other planners.” I dig out my phone and once again take a step back from the man who continues to get too close for my battered heart.
“This job means a lot to you?” Aiden asks, dipping his head to catch my eye.
I’ve never been good at hiding my emotions. I live my life loudly. Boldly. I wouldn’t know how to stop, even if I wanted to. The entire point of not agreeing to my father’s ludicrous demands is so that I can remain me, not stifle more of myself.
I straighten my shoulders. “I just need a win, ya know?”
Aiden nods. “So let’s plan a wedding.”
I almost laugh. “What?”
“You need a win, and I’m happy to help you get it.”
“Aiden,” I chide, my heart hammering against my sternum. “Jill obviously isn’t comfortable with me planning your wedding.”
He shakes his head. “No. That’s not it at all. Jill isn’t coming. I’m planning it.”
I stare at him, all rational thought escaping me. “You’re planning the wedding?”
He grins. It’s wide and easy, and I want to sink into it. His smile burrows beneath my skin, making me warm, even though we aren’t touching. “You don’t think I could plan a spectacular wedding? Come on, Lex. This is my calling.”
My heart lifts at the teasing in his tone. “Thought that was hockey, Leprechaun.”
The grin that sank beneath my skin works its way straight to my heart as the expression morphs into a smile so wide his eyes are all squinty. “So you do remember the nicknames.”
I roll my eyes. “Of course I do. I gave that one to ya.”
Eyes dancing, Aiden cups his mouth like he’s wiping away his smile. “So tell me more about these venues.”