The Langfield Brothers: Box Set

44. Aiden

FORTY-FOUR

AIDEN

Every muscle aches when I finally walk into the hotel where Lennox and I are staying for the night. The rest of the team is headed back to Boston now, but since we don’t have practice tomorrow, I got the okay to stay behind. Lennox promised to spend a few hours in the dark with me in the morning, and then, if I’m up for it, take me to her favorite lunch spot before we take the train back. Then I’m off to Seattle for our next away game.

Even after the ten minutes I spent in the sin bin, we pulled off a win. I rarely get penalties, but this one was worth every minute.

No one talks about Lennox.

Unlike in Boston, the people I pass in the hotel lobby aren’t happy to see me. Anyone who recognizes me practically scowls with hatred. Especially after tonight.

By the time I make it up to our room, my head is pounding, but the thought of the woman on the other side of the door— in my jersey —has renewed energy coursing through me.

I push open the door to our oversized suite. “Lex?”

I loosen my tie as I stride across the main area in search of her. The door to the bathroom opens, and she appears. Her sullen expression registers first. Her face is devoid of makeup, like she scrubbed every bit of it off, but her skin isn’t smooth and glowing like it normally is after she finishes her nightly routine. It’s splotchy and red.

She’s been crying.

She’s also not in my jersey.

My jaw ticks, and tension knots in my shoulders. It was literally all I asked for. All I wanted. And after tonight, after everything that happened, it’s what I needed.

“You’re upset,” she says plainly, turning off the light in the bathroom.

As she steps into the room, I can’t help but state the obvious. “You’re not in my jersey.”

With a huff, she rolls her eyes. “I’m not wearing your jersey after you got into a fight over another woman.”

I reel back. “What?”

“Vincent Lukov. He’s the guy Jill was cheating on you with.”

Shrugging, I get to work unbuttoning my shirt. Might as well get comfortable if we’re having a discussion. “Yeah, so?”

Lennox’s breasts rise and fall under an oversized pink T-shirt that reads I am the fun . Her cheeks redden and her blue eyes go hard. “You’re obviously still hung up on Jill. Otherwise, why would you beat the shit out of him?”

My fingers halt on the third button of my shirt, my heart thumping hard against my sternum. “Because he said your name.” My voice comes out sharp. Angry. Because I am. Lukov went too far tonight.

Her eyes go wide. “What?”

Keeping my focus fixed on her, I continue unbuttoning my shirt. “I couldn’t give a flying fuck about Jill. Which I told him. He can have her. Or get rid of her. Whatever. But no man will mention your name the way he did and not end up breathing out of a tube.”

“Holy shit, that’s hot.” Her pink lips are parted, her eyes searching mine. With a sharp intake of breath, she covers her mouth and shakes her head like she can’t believe she said that. “Aiden?—”

I pull the tie from my neck and wrap it around my hand, then point it at her. “No. I’m sick of everyone telling me how I feel. I haven’t cared about Jill since the moment I saw you again.”

She rolls her eyes, the action so sassy I’m tempted to bend her over my lap and spank her. “Maybe once you found out that she cheated.”

I eat up the space between us in two strides and get right up in her space. “No,” I grit out. “Since long before that. I walked into that meeting dreading it. Knowing I wasn’t supposed to marry her. I was miserable, Lex. And then you walked in there like a damn ray of sunshine and I…” I force a long breath in and hold it in my lungs before releasing it. Finally, my anger dissipates. This woman in front of me changed everything that day. “I knew right then and there I couldn’t marry her. The elevator hadn’t even made it to the ground floor before I ended it.”

Frowning, she whispers, “After she told you about the affair.” It’s not a question, yet the statement is filled with doubt. She’s unsure.

I don’t want her unsure. I want her to know. Fully. The whole truth.

“No.”

Her blue eyes cloud with confusion and disbelief. “What?”

I huff out a breath, garnering my courage. It’s time to lay it out there. “Not after. Before. I told her it was over. That I couldn’t give her my heart when it still belonged to someone else.”

“ Aiden ,” she whispers, bringing a hand to her heart.

“You’ve had it since we were fourteen, Lex. Whether you wanted it or not, my heart’s always been yours. I’m not jealous of Vincent Lukov. I couldn’t give a fuck about him or Jill.” I cup her jaw, brush at the lone tear that slips down her cheek. “I’ve been miserable since the day you walked out of my life without telling me why. Don’t pretend you don’t know it. You may not want me the way I want you, and that’s okay. I’m okay with our situation. I’ve made peace with it. But don’t pick a fight with me over someone who doesn’t matter. Don’t play dumb. We both know where we stand. Me on my knees, always worshiping you.”

“You’re rewriting history,” she hisses, backing out of my hold. Then louder, angrier, she adds, “You haven’t been miserable for the last decade. I’ve seen you, Aiden. You dated. You’re going to be in the freaking hall of fame. You got engaged.”

“I survived ,” I yell, my voice far too loud, the agony that’s plagued me for a decade coursing through my veins. “I put one foot in front of the other. What choice did I have?” I point to her chest. “ You left.”

“Yes,” she hisses. “I left. I had to. Because you threatened to follow me.”

All the air leaves me. Mouth agape, I can do nothing but stare at her. “I what?”

With a deep inhale, she turns and shuffles toward the window. “You don’t remember?” She glances over her shoulder but doesn’t wait for my response. “I didn’t know what the hell I wanted from my life. Obviously, since I still don’t. But back then ? God , my parents were on me every day . They had all these plans for me. You had plans for me?—”

My heart cracks open. Fuck. To be lumped in with her parents? It’s like a knife to the chest.

She turns back, her expression softer. “I wanted our plans. But I was eighteen, and I wanted to experience life too.”

“You ended it because you wanted to experience other things?”

Other people. That’s the first thing that comes to mind. She wanted to see what else was out there. I figured as much. It’s what my friends all told me I should do when they found out I was still hung up on Lennox years later.

“No. I wanted to experience life, period. You were so secure in your knowledge of what you wanted. It made me feel lost. So when my grandmother suggested the gap year, it seemed like the answer.”

“But why couldn’t we do long distance?” Desperation pricks at me. The years I spent wondering, questioning myself, bleed into my every word. “Why couldn’t you travel, figure out what you wanted, while I worked to get to the NHL? Why did you just leave me behind and act like our time together meant nothing to you?” Emotion stings behind my eyes. My chest is flayed open for her to see. “Like I meant nothing to you.”

Blue eyes sparkle, full of tears, and regret laces her words. “You meant everything to me, Aiden. You meant so much that I broke my own heart and gave up my dream to make sure that you didn’t give up on yours.”

My exposed heart sinks. I’m empty. Lost. “What are you talking about?”

“You called me after I told you I was going to Europe.”

“No.” I drop my head and give it a shake. “I didn’t. You said shamrock, and I respected the pact.”

She huffs out a watery laugh. “That wasn’t the pact. We agreed that if one of us said shamrock, then we’d go back to being friends. Nothing changed . That was the pact . ”

I throw my hands out, aggravation getting the best of me. “I was eighteen and pissed off that my girlfriend dumped me for no reason. I’m sorry. I was an asshole.” I suck in a breath, trying to rein in my emotions. “Why did you say shamrock? Why did you end it?”

I plead for the truth. Desperate to understand. Because I want this. I want us. But I don’t know that we can ever truly make it if I don’t get these answers.

“You called me,” she says, her mouth turned down. “You were drunk and sad because I’d told you I was going to Europe instead of joining you at school. You’d already left for training camp. I told you I wasn’t coming. That I was going to Europe.”

My heart stutters at the vague, blurry memory. “Yeah, I remember.”

She runs her hands through her hair, parting it to the side. “You said you would leave camp the next day. That you’d come back and spend the rest of the summer with me. That you’d take a gap year too.”

Lips pursed, I study her sincere expression, the crease between her brows. She doesn’t look like she’s making this up, but that’s ridiculous. I couldn’t do that. I’d have lost my spot on the team.

She points at my face, drawing her finger in a circle. “See? You get it now. You were willing to throw away your career because you loved me. And I loved you too much to allow you to do that.”

With my hands on my head, I tip it back and blink up at the ceiling. Fuck . She’s right. I would have done it. I was so head-over-heels in love with her that I would have done anything for just a little more time with her. Hell, I still would. Look at me, planning a wedding so I can spend time with her, conning her into agreeing to marry me in the hopes that she’ll fall for me in the process, cloning her damn phone so I can read along with her because I miss her when we’re apart. It’s not rational. I’m downright insane when it comes to her.

“I was miserable without you,” I say. That’s the simple truth. I straighten and exhale. “I played like shit for months. Didn’t talk to anyone. Hell, it took me two years to go on a date.”

And it was a horrific experience. Touching another person never got easier. Yet I had no choice.She left me. Didn’t want me. That’s what I thought.

She sucks in a breath. “I went the opposite direction. Kissed all the wrong people, hoping I’d forget you. Hoping it would hurt a little less. But I—” She shakes her head. “I don’t think I ever did.”

“I know I never did.”

She shakes her head and whimpers. “Aiden,” she says, the word a plea. “You were engaged.”

I sigh, but it’s not in aggravation anymore. Or sadness. I’m exhausted. Tired of the lies. Tired of holding it together all the time.

The truth spills out of me like an old, rusted faucet. It spurts ugliness and then gushes, purging the years of half-truths and lies until nothing but clear, pure honesty flows through.

“Because my brothers wouldn’t stop bothering me about my obvious crush on you. I ran into the damn wall the first time I saw you back in Boston. The second time, I threw up. They were onto me, but after the devastation I lived in when you broke up with me, I figured it would be easier to marry someone I didn’t feel that way about. She couldn’t hurt me if I didn’t love her, right?”

Tears well in Lennox’s eyes. “You really didn’t love her?” she whispers. There’s hope laced amidst the sadness.

“How could I when my heart still belonged to you? I’ve never loved anyone but you. If you’d stayed, I would have only ever kissed you. If you’d have let me, I would have been your one and only, and I’d have worn that title proudly.” I smile ruefully. “Hell, I probably would have been insufferable about it. Matching T-shirts and everything.”

The tears fall then, rolling down her cheeks, even as she breaks into a smile. “Idiot.”

I move closer, cupping her face and brushing away the tears that continue to fall. “I’d be your idiot any day of the week. Forever. I’m stupid in love with you, Lex. I always have been. There’s no reason for you to ever be jealous or insecure. You’re the only person I see. The only person who truly makes me smile. Even in the darkness. And though I can’t be your only kiss, I’ll take being your last. I think I could wear that title proudly.”

Eyes shining, she gives me a watery smile. “I’d really like that kiss now, Hockey Boy.”

With her cheeks still cradled in my palms, I tilt her head back and press my lips to hers. It’s electric, our connection. It always is. But in this moment, it feels like we’re sharing our first kiss. Like a beginning and yet also like coming home. There’s a comfort in knowing the truth. In laying it all on the line and opening up my heart.

No longer do I have to hold back and pretend that I’m not head over heels for her. I don’t have to play a game or act in any sort of role. We’re living in this moment, and though I have no idea what the future holds, I know that we have right now. And right now, she’s mine completely.

“I have another confession,” I whisper against her mouth, holding her in place.

She exhales, her breath skating over my lips.

“I stole your phone and cloned it. I’ve been following along with your stalker romance as you read it.”

Her lashes flutter and her brows dip. “What?”

“I’m crazy. Yes.” I shrug, going for nonchalant, even as my heart rate kicks up with a mixture of fear and excitement. “But you find crazy sexy, right? At least in your books?”

“Are you a little stalkerish?” Her tone is raspy and filled with wonder.

“Mildly.” I hold my thumb and forefinger an inch apart. “Just a little.”

Her breathing has quickened, her pupils dilating. “Fuck, why is that hot?”

“’Cause I’m a friendly stalker?” I surmise, with a slow grin. “Kind of like Casper.”

She huffs a laugh. “He was a ghost.”

“That your kink?” I tease. “I’m sure I could figure out how to do that too.”

I’d do anything for her. Be anything for her. Even if, deep down, I hope that I’m enough on my own. Every day, I’m a little more confident that it’s the truth.

Lennox sucks in a breath. “Are you saying you want to make my book fantasies come true?”

Heat coursing through me at the excitement in her tone, I lick at the seam of her lips. “Is that something you’d want?”

“Maybe,” she whispers. Her words are a little hesitant, but the hope in her eyes as she catalogs my reaction is enough of an answer for me.

“Did you bring any toys with you, Princess?” I run a hand up her side, to the curve of her breast. When I reach her nipple, I give it a pinch.

Her eyes fall closed, and her breath goes ragged. “Like what?”

Smiling, I pinch again. “Whatever you have.”

She rubs her thighs together, clearly as excited about the prospect as I am.

With my hands on her shoulders, I spin her around and push her toward her suitcase, smacking her on the ass as she goes. “Come on, Princess. Grab everything you’ve got. Let’s see what we’re working with.”

With a quick peek over her shoulder, she opens her suitcase. Then she pulls out the selection she’s brought with her.

I sidle up beside her and take the toys. When she straightens, I brush a kiss to her lips. “I’ll take these. Can you go grab some ice down the hall?”

Her eyebrows furrow adorably. She’s already worked up, and now she’s frustrated that I’m sending her on an errand instead of getting her naked. “Ice?”

I give her hips a squeeze and nod to the door. “Play along, Princess. I promise you’ll enjoy it.”

Her blue eyes glaze over. “Okay.”Ice bucket in hand, she pads to the door.

“Try not to scream too loud tonight,” I say as she steps out into the hall. “Wouldn’t want the hotel staff to find the Kennedy princess getting fucked like the little whore we both know you are.”

The door clicks shut, cutting off her gasp, and I get to work. Tonight, I’ll give Lennox Kennedy every fantasy she’s ever had. She deserves it and so much more, because that woman is every fantasy of mine come true.