The Last Thing She Wants (Chestnut Hills #1)

18

theo

After being blown off for the fourth time this week, I decided to give it up. Just when I thought I was getting through to Ellie, she pulled away again. Frankly, the back and forth was discouraging. Still, I struggled with wanting to embrace my dad’s lessons. As much as it felt like the right thing to do—keep Ellie in my life—I couldn’t keep from feeling the dull ache in my chest pulse each time she actively pushed me away. It was self-inflicted torture.

Our evening ritual of going to the gym may have been deceiving to the untrained eye. It would seem as if we hadn’t skipped a beat. We still carried on our cheery conversations on the walks across the lawn and sweated it out next to each other. But what once were our daily afternoon working sessions at the college were no more.

Monday, while sitting in co-existence, each tediously at work, we agreed we enjoyed it. We even made it a regular thing, at least while she was on the marketing revamp project. Then, suddenly, later that evening as we walked across the lawn, I could sense the shift. When we brushed arms in stride, she took a wide step in the opposite direction .

Regardless of maintaining our evening schedule, she’d canceled our work-in-tandem afternoon sessions every day since.

That night, though, Ellie had plans with Daisy, so I invited Thalia to grab a drink. Stepping into Wild Cider, I noted the crowd both in and outside the brewery. It paled in comparison to when the Assets played, and when Ellie gifted us all with her voice. On that night, the backyard space was packed and there wasn’t a seat or table available.

A man now stood solo on the stage; his guitar was slung over his shoulder as he peacefully sang acoustic versions of vibrant pop songs. People drifted in and out, filling café tables, tabletops, and picnic tables. I found Thalia seated in front of one of the lifted glass garage doors. A breeze picked up her hair as she whispered on her phone.

Giving her space to finish her conversation, I headed for the bar. My mouth watered in anticipation of crispy goodness and house made ranch as I ordered fried pickles, brisket fries, and chicken wings. With a pint of their house cider, of course. Approaching the table, Thalia turned, quickly blinking tears away.

In an instant I was transported to the emergency room, just after dad’s heart attack. After a night of no sleep and constant crying, I’d never forget the sight of deep sorrow on my mom’s and sister’s faces. I saw a trace of that now and it made my chest tighten and my stomach lurch.

“Thalia?” rushing over, I put my arm around her shoulders. “Thalia, what happened? Who was that?”

With a light chuckle, she grabbed my hand and brought me in for a hug. “Everything is fine, Theo. Sit down.” Giving her a look that silently called her a liar, she exhaled. “That was Marc.”

“Marc? Is he okay?”

Averting eye contact, she focused her attention on the man on stage, now singing “No Scrubs” by TLC in the form of a ballad. Luckily for her, a waiter brought my drink and our food, allowing Thalia a few more moments of peace from my questioning.

“Thalia? Is Marc okay?” I probed again once the waiter was out of earshot, not allowing her to escape my question.

“He got laid off last week.”

Grabbing her hand in shock and an attempt to comfort her, I also felt hurt she hadn’t mentioned it at family night. I could understand not wanting to tell mom, but she didn’t tell me either.

She sighed before continuing. “He just got a job offer, but it’s up in New York. I’m very grateful that he found work so quickly, but the commute means he’s going to be gone for up to twelve hours a day. Which would normally be fine except…except, I’m pregnant.”

My jaw dropped and my brain began firing on all cylinders, trying to decide what to respond to first.

Pregnancy. Pregnancy was definitely the most pressing of the two.

“Pregnant? You’re pregnant?” Jumping from my chair, I wrapped her in my arms again and gave her a big squeeze. “I’m going to be an uncle.” Pride swelled in my chest, and I pictured taking my niece or nephew to soccer games and ice cream, even after their mom told them no.

“How do you feel? Are you freaking out?” Realizing where we were, I covered my forehead in concern. “Thalia, we’re in a brewery. You should have said something. We could have met somewhere else.”

A smile grew on her face as she sipped her water. “I feel good. We’re very excited and we’re freaking out a little. It was terrifying at first, especially when Marc found out he was being laid off. But he’s going to be a fantastic father and you’re going to be an amazing uncle. Sure, the commute sucks, but he can work his new job while finding something closer to home, or we could move. By the way, you’re the only one that knows. Please don’t tell anyone. ”

“Whoa Thalia, slow down,” I put my hands up, laughing. “One step at a time. I’m here for whatever you need.”

“You’re a good man, Theo Emerson,” she said lightheartedly.

“I learned from the best.” Silently, I raised my glass, saluting my father.

“R.I.P. dad, hope you’re raising hell up in heaven,” my sister mimicked my glass raise, taking her turn to cheer to the sky. “So, Theo, tell me about this Ellie.”

Subconsciously crossing my arms in defense, I rolled my eyes and sat back in my chair.

“Come on. You know I’m not gonna let you get away with your little attitude at moms last weekend.”

Biding time, I stabbed at the fries, being careful to pick up a metric ton of brisket, while she smothered a fried pickle chip in house made ranch. I chewed slowly, deciding what to share as Thalia looked at me bemusedly.

Should I share how my hands sweated around Ellie? Should I share that my heart threatened to beat itself out of its chest every time she gave me her undivided attention? Of course, I absolutely should not share how I’d jerked off to the thought of her in her silk pajama top, braless, her hard nipples begging for my mouth, nearly every night.

“Well,” clearing my throat, I pushed the dirty thoughts of Ellie in black silk away, “you know about the break-up and the head stitches.” Carrying on, I told her of our time together and the flirty touches.

After a moment, I decided to hell with it, and shared my feelings.

“I spend all this time with her, just hoping I get to hear her laugh. I think about her constantly…I’m actually thinking about her right now. You would really like her, Thalia. She is witty, funny, and thoughtful. She’s also ridiculously smart and driven, and just wait until you hear her sing. She’s incredible. ”

My sister laughed, throwing a fry at me. “Damn Theo, you have it bad.”

“I know,” I threw my hands up in resignation, “and what’s worse is that she wants none of it.”

“Well…you work together a lot, and you spend every afternoon together, yeah?” she continued as I nodded in affirmation of each question. “Okay…and her recent break-up was a long-term relationship, and what was the reason she turned you down? She wasn’t ready?” She paused thoughtfully, popping a fry in her mouth.

“She clearly has a lot to work through. Maybe she just needs this time to herself. Remember what dad used to tell us as kids?” She sat up straight, placed her hands on her hips, and with a serious face, dropped her voice a level to mimic our dad. “‘When you feel it in your bones, you don’t give up.’”

Slumping back in her chair, she laughed at her own impression. “Just continue to show up and support her how she needs. It will work out in the end, but it’s up to you to not give up.”

Appreciative that she drew on the same memories of our dad as I did, the corners of my mouth lifted.

In her older sisterly fashion, she couldn’t closeout the conversation before giving me a firm reminder about respecting women and their boundaries.

We spent the rest of the evening listening to the musician on stage and making guesses about what my niece or nephew would belike.

Thankful for Thalia in more ways than one, I paid for dinner and the sundae I “forced” her to get after.

Driving away, I spent the rest of the night thinking of Ellie.