The Library

Lilith

T he days crawl by slower than I ever could’ve imagined. Four fucking days trapped in Sebastian’s house, waiting around like some obedient pet. I hate it. I hate that I’m actually listening to him, sitting still just because he told me to. But more than that, I hate the way his words stick with me, lingering in my head every time I breathe.

And yet, I stay.

Because there’s something else here, between us. Something I can’t put into words but feel in every inch of my body. It’s not just his control over me, not just the game of cat and mouse we’ve been playing. It’s deeper than that. He’s under my skin, in my blood, and no matter how much I try to shake it, I can’t. It’s not just about the way he makes me feel when he touches me—it’s the way my soul aches for him when he’s gone.

It’s not just an obsession anymore. It’s something darker, something more twisted, and it terrifies me. But I’m just as caught up in it as he is. I’m just as obsessed with him as he is with me. Maybe more.

And that’s why I stay. Even though I hate waiting, hate feeling like I’m losing control, I can’t bring myself to leave. Because as much as I want to be free of him, I want him back here with me more.

I close my eyes and breathe him in, the faint scent of him still lingering in the sheets. And I know, no matter how fucked up this is, I need him.

Why does he always say that before he leaves? It’s like he knows something I don’t, like there’s this hidden threat I can’t quite see. And I’m stuck here, in this empty, quiet house, trying to figure out what it is. The minutes stretch into hours, the silence pressing in on me like a weight I can’t shake.

Sure, there are guards posted around the property, keeping watch. And then there’s Henry—the so-called housekeeper. Though, let’s be real, he’s more than just that. I’m almost certain he’s part of the Society. He doesn’t just clean the house; he handles the other messes, the ones left behind in the basement. The ones I don’t like to think about.

Every minute that ticks by, my frustration grows. It’s like I’m being kept in the dark, told just enough to keep me complacent but never the whole story. I can feel it in my bones—there’s more going on, more than I’m being told.

It’s not that I don’t love the comfort of his place—I feel at home here now. But I’m starting to feel like a prisoner again. Like I’ve traded one set of chains for another again. He hasn’t even checked in. Four days, and nothing. Not a single text. No explanation. No idea when he’s coming back. It has me questioning his feelings for me. Fuck, I don’t even know if he’s actually capable of having feelings or if it’s just a fucked up illusion, another mind game.

I sit on the edge of his bed, running my hands through my hair, staring at the door like I expect him to walk through it at any second. But he doesn’t. The silence is deafening, and the more I think about it, the more my anger festers. I want to scream. I want to cry. I’m pissed off and sad all at the same time. I’ve completely lost myself in him. It’s exactly what he wants.

I sigh, tossing my phone on the bed and staring up at the ceiling, trying to shake the thoughts out of my head. I’ve been texting Anna, trying to distract myself from the constant tension building inside me. She and Ty are official now, which doesn’t surprise me. They’ve been dancing around each other for a while, but I hadn’t expected her to dive headfirst into a relationship with a guy like Ty. Just like Sebastian, Ty is dangerous. And just like Sebastian, Ty’s involved in whatever the hell “the Society” really is.

But the kicker? Anna knows. Ty told her. About the Society. About the assignments.

Meanwhile, I’m sitting here, waiting, in the dark, while Sebastian keeps me at arm’s length, guarding his secrets like they’re fucking gold.

I grab my phone, scrolling through the texts between Anna and me from the past few days. Most of it is about her and Ty—how hot their sex life is, how intense he can be in bed. I’ve told her bits and pieces about Sebastian, even admitted that he took my virginity, but I’ve kept the details vague. What’s happening between me and Sebastian feels too raw, too dark, to share. I don’t even fully understand it myself.

But then there’s this one text from Anna that keeps gnawing at me. It was casual, almost a throwaway comment:

Do you know how long this assignment will take for Ty and Sebastian?

The words sent a jolt through me when I first read them. Anna knows about the assignment. She knows Ty’s secrets. The Society’s secrets. Meanwhile, Sebastian keeps me in the dark, like I’m some fragile little girl who can’t handle the truth.

And that pisses me off more than anything.

Why does Anna get to know everything while I’m left guessing? Why does Ty trust her with the truth, but Sebastian doesn’t trust me? What the hell am I even doing here if he doesn’t think I’m strong enough to handle whatever world he’s involved in?

My blood boils as I toss my phone down again. I’ve had enough of this. I’m not a delicate fucking flower. I can handle the truth, even if it’s dark, even if it’s twisted. What I can’t handle is being treated like I’m too weak to understand what’s really going on.

I know he was starting to let me in when he took me to the basement, when he fucked me in that chair, showing me a piece of the darkness. But it’s not enough. He tells me just enough to keep me satisfied, but never the whole truth. It’s like he’s feeding me breadcrumbs, and I’m supposed to be content with that. Well, I’m not. Every step only fuels the fire in my chest. Why hasn’t he told me anything? Why am I sitting here, waiting for him like an obedient little toy, when he hasn’t even bothered to let me in on his life?

I grab my phone again, my fingers shaking with anger as I open a new text. Seconds later, I’m texting Anna again, my mind already made up.

Let’s have a girls’ night. We’re going to Blaze.

Blaze. The hottest nightclub in the city. Neon lights, pounding music, and alcohol flowing like water. It’s the perfect place to get lost, to let go, to forget all the fucked-up shit going on in my life. Tonight, I need that. I need to drown out the constant buzz of uncertainty and frustration that’s been following me since Sebastian walked out the door.

My phone buzzes almost immediately with Anna’s response.

Anna: Fuck yes!

I smile for the first time in days, feeling a rush of adrenaline. I’m going to dress up, get drunk, and dance my ass off. Maybe I’ll even flirt with someone just to piss Sebastian off. I want him to feel the frustration I’ve been feeling for the last four days, the uncertainty, the lack of control. It’s my turn to pull the strings, to show him I’m not just some puppet in his game.

I toss my phone on the bed and head toward the bathroom. The shower steams up quickly as I step under the hot water, letting it wash away the tension in my muscles. My mind is spinning, torn between the excitement of a night out and the lingering anger at Sebastian. I don’t know why I’m so torn about this. I should be furious with him, but deep down, I can’t deny the way my body reacts every time I think about him. About the way he controls me, dominates me.

But control is a two-way street, isn’t it? I have power, too. And tonight, I’m going to use it.

The hot water pounds against my skin, but it doesn’t compare to the heat that builds inside me when I think of Sebastian’s hands on my body, the way he bends me to his will. I close my eyes, imagining the look on his face when he sees me in that tight dress, the one that hugs every curve. I want to push him, challenge him, show him that I’m not afraid to play with fire.

He’s made me crave him, crave the danger, but tonight I want him to feel the burn. I want him to see that I’m more than a toy to be controlled. I’m going to remind him that two can play this game—and when I walk out that door looking like sin incarnate, he’ll know I’m not just waiting around for him anymore.

And if he wants me, he’ll have to come find me. After all, he will always find me, isn’t that what he said? Let’s see just how true that is.

When I step out of the shower, I wrap myself in a towel, staring at my reflection in the fogged-up mirror. My skin is flushed, my hair damp, and there’s a fire in my eyes that wasn’t there before. Maybe it’s the defiance. Maybe it’s the anger. Or maybe… it’s the thrill of knowing that I’m pushing every one of his buttons.

As I towel off and walk into the bedroom, I rifle through my bag, pulling out the tightest black dress I own. It’s short, borderline inappropriate, and I know exactly how much attention it’s going to get at the club. Perfect.

I slip it on, adjusting the hem so it barely covers my thighs, and take a step back to look at myself in the mirror after doing my hair and makeup. The girl staring back at me isn’t the same girl who first walked into Sebastian’s life. No, this girl is different. She’s bold. She’s pissed off. And she’s not going to let a man, no matter how powerful or dangerous, control her without consequences.

Grabbing my phone, I snap a quick selfie and send it to Anna.

Ready for Blaze. Let’s burn this city down.

I sit on the edge of Sebastian’s bed again, my fingers tapping against my thigh as I wait for her response. I’m still fuming, still hurt that Sebastian can’t trust me the way Ty apparently trusts Anna. But at the same time, there’s this nagging part of me that knows I won’t be able to walk away. No matter how angry I am, no matter how much I hate the way he keeps me in the dark, I’m still drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

My phone buzzes with Anna’s response.

Anna: Damn, girl! You look hot! Can’t wait. See you at Blaze in an hour.

I smile, even though my heart is still pounding with the weight of everything that’s been going on. Tonight, I’m going to have fun. I’m going to drink, dance, and forget about all of this. At least for a little while. But deep down, I know this isn’t over. Sebastian and I aren’t over. Not by a long shot.

As I slip on my heels and grab my jacket, I take one last look around Sebastian’s house. The silence feels heavier now, like the walls themselves are holding secrets I’m not privy to. But that’s going to change. I’m done being in the dark. Sebastian is going to have to tell me everything, or I’m walking.

I head for the door, my heels clicking against the hardwood floor, and take a deep breath as I step outside. The cool night air hits my skin, sending a shiver down my spine. I don’t know what the future holds for me and Sebastian, but I do know that I am taking back control.

The city lights blur as I step out onto the driveway, the adrenaline kicking in as I start to walk to my car. My phone buzzes again with another message from Anna before I even get to my car.

Anna : I’m calling us an Uber. Be there in 10.

Perfect. I tuck my phone into my clutch, my thoughts still bouncing between the excitement of the night ahead and the unresolved tension with Sebastian. It’s hard not to think about him, even when I try to distract myself. He’s always there, lurking in the back of my mind, his presence like a shadow that never leaves.

The ride to Blaze is a blur of neon lights and pulsing music from the radio, Pray by Xana playing. Anna’s chatter keeps the conversation light, but I can feel her eyes on me, like she knows I’m holding something back. I don’t tell her everything. Not yet. I’m not even sure I know how to explain the complicated mess I’m in with Sebastian. But she senses it. She always does.

When we arrive at the club, Hotel by Montell Fish is playing, the music is already pounding through the walls, the heavy bassline vibrating in the air. There’s a line out the door, but Anna flashes a smile at the bouncer, and before I know it, we’re slipping past the velvet rope and into the chaos of Blaze. The place is packed, bodies moving in rhythm to the beat, neon lights casting a hazy glow over everything. It’s the perfect place to get lost, to forget, even if just for a few hours.

Anna grabs my hand, pulling me toward the bar. “Shots first, then we hit the dance floor!” she shouts over the music, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

I nod, forcing a smile as we reach the bar. The bartender gives us a once-over before pouring two shots of tequila, sliding them across the counter with a wink. I down mine in one gulp, the burn of the alcohol making me wince, but it helps. It dulls the edges, takes the sting out of the anger that’s been bubbling under the surface since Sebastian left.

We move to the dance floor, the music pulsing through my veins, and for a moment, I let myself get lost in it. Anna’s laughing, spinning around me, her carefree energy infectious. I try to match her, but there’s still that part of me that can’t fully let go. Every beat of the music reminds me of Sebastian, of the way he controls everything, including me. And no matter how much I try to push him out of my mind, I can’t.

It doesn’t take long before my phone buzzes in my clutch again. My pulse quickens as I pull it out, half-expecting to see a text from Sebastian, but it’s just another message from Anna, probably sent while we were standing next to each other on the dance floor.

Anna: You okay? You seem… off.

I glance over at her, catching her eye, and nod. I’m fine. I will be, anyway. But as I shove my phone back into my clutch, my mind keeps racing.

Why hasn’t Sebastian reached out yet? Is he deliberately keeping me in the dark, or is he really too caught up in whatever assignment he’s on with Ty to even think about me? Either way, it’s driving me insane. I need answers. I need something to go on. But more than anything, I need to know why he thinks I’m so fragile, why he doesn’t trust me with the truth.

I grab Anna’s arm, pulling her off the dance floor and back toward the bar. “We need another round,” I shout over the music, already signaling the bartender. I need to drown this out. All of it.

Anna raises an eyebrow but doesn’t argue, her smile faltering slightly as she watches me down another shot. “You sure you’re okay?” she asks, her voice barely audible over the music.

“I’m fine,” I insist, forcing another smile. “Just… overthinking, I guess.”

She gives me a knowing look, but thankfully, she doesn’t press. Instead, she changes the subject, launching into a story about Ty and their last night together. I nod along, half-listening, but my mind is already drifting back to Sebastian as I make my way to the bathroom.

It’s not just the secrecy that’s bothering me. It’s the way he left, the way he told me to stay safe, like I’m some fragile thing that needs protecting. I don’t understand it. What danger am I in? And why won’t he tell me what’s really going on?

I scoff at the thought. He wants me to stay safe? As far as I’m concerned, he is the most dangerous thing out there. The monster that comes out of the shadows to take what he wants—ruthlessly. He’s the one who bound me, gagged me, threw me in his car, and dragged me into the woods like a predator stalking his prey. He’s the one who fucked me against a tree, leaving me shaking and broken in the best way possible.

The way he looks at me, touches me, like I’m his possession—his to destroy, to consume. He’s dangerous in ways I can’t even fully comprehend yet, and I know it. I’ve seen it. Felt it. He’s the one who pushes me to the edge, and every time I think I’ve had enough, that I can’t take any more, he drags me deeper into his world, into his darkness.

And now he’s telling me to stay safe?

I laugh bitterly, the sound echoing in the empty bathroom as a stare at myself in the mirror. He is the danger. He’s the one I should be afraid of, but instead, I’m craving him. Every touch, every bite, every growl in my ear has branded him into my skin. Maybe that’s why I can’t leave. Why I can’t stop thinking about him. Because he’s already made sure that no matter what happens, I’ll always come back to him.

The real question is: why am I not afraid? Why do I want him more with every twisted, dangerous thing he does?

As the night wears on, the alcohol does its job, dulling the sharp edges of my thoughts. But even through the haze of tequila, I can’t shake the feeling that something’s coming. Something big. Something that Sebastian hasn’t told me about. And I don’t know if I’m ready for it.

Eventually, Anna and I find ourselves back on the dance floor, swaying to the music, “Heavenly bodies,” by Arankai playing, our bodies moving in time with the beat. But even as I lose myself in the rhythm, my mind keeps drifting back to Sebastian, to the unanswered questions hanging between us.

I glance down at my phone, the screen still blank, no new messages. The frustration gnaws at me, a constant reminder of the control he has over my thoughts. With a sigh, I slip the phone back into my clutch and look up—only to feel a strong hand wrap around my throat, pushing me hard against the cold brick wall of the club.

Everything around me fades into the background, the thumping music, the laughter and chatter of the crowd—gone. All I can hear is the rush of blood in my ears, the pounding of my heart as I struggle to catch my breath. My vision blurs for a moment, panic setting in as I try to figure out what’s happening. Who has me like this?

Then a familiar voice slices through the haze, low and dark. “Hello, .”

The way he says my name sends a shiver down my spine, and instantly I know it’s him. I don’t even need to see his face to recognize the danger in his tone, the barely restrained power that’s always lurking beneath the surface. My body betrays me in an instant—my breath hitches, my skin tingles, and I can already feel the wetness pooling between my legs.

My nipples harden, pressing against the fabric of my dress, and I curse myself for reacting this way. For wanting him even now, when I fucking pissed at him.