The Life Daisy Devlin Designed

CHAPTER 14

“You know, I feel like we haven’t been out on our own in ages.” Daisy took James’ hand across the table in their local Indian restaurant that Friday evening.

At eight o’clock, the place was buzzing, and pungent aromas wafted around the small room.

James pushed his other hand back through his hair. It could do with a cut, she thought. Not that she’d tell him that. She wasn’t his mother. Or Rosie!

“Well, we were just down in Galway together.” He looked a bit puzzled.

Which definitely didn’t count, she thought, suppressing a sigh. They fell silent for a few minutes as they studied the menu. Daisy took a deep, slow breath. Maybe she could still get them back on track – it felt so long since they’d really been together together.

And, if things went well, she could casually mention that she was working for Matt. It was only a big deal because she was hiding it. Plus, maybe telling James that Matt was back would ... what? Give them something to talk about? Bring them closer together? It could start a row!

“Daisy?” James was looking closely at her. “Are you okay, love?”

“ Hmm? Fine, yeah.” She smiled brightly.

“Have you decided what you want?”

“ Um ...” She made a quick decision. “Vegetarian Saag.”

He nodded, casting one last quick glance at the menu. “I’ll get extra rice and naan bread. And we should order more beers while we can. The service tends to be a bit slow here.”

Daisy made a mental note not to eat too much. If this was the buffet mentioned in her horoscope, the predictions had become disappointingly pedantic!

After they ordered, Daisy picked up her beer. “Cheers!”

James clinked his glass against hers.

“So.” She sat up straighter. “We’re celebrating.”

“A work thing?”

“I wish!” She shook her head. “ Our two-year anniversary of us getting the keys of our house.”

“Wow, is it?” He smiled. “Look, I know you’d have liked something bigger, Daisy, but Rathmines is close to everything. You can’t compare it with the huge houses your parents or mine live in – they’re out in the middle of nowhere.”

James’ parents lived in Howth! Which was hardly the middle of nowhere, but she wouldn’t point that out. “James, I completely agree!” She could never understand why he always got so defensive about their home. The only possible explanation was that he privately regretted turning down his parents’ offers of help. Either way, she couldn’t mention that Matt was now the proud owner of a five-bedroom historical home in Wicklow. “So, um , how are your mum and dad?”

James shrugged. “Fine. Mum says they’ve painters in again. It’s like they don’t know what to do with their money.”

She’d better say nothing.

James moved the cutlery slightly on the table. “How’s everyone in the office?”

Daisy relaxed slightly. “Laura’s training for the marathon!”

“Laura?” He looked surprised. “She never struck me as the type.”

She laughed. “You hardly know her, James!”

It was true! By the time she and James had got together, Laura and Brian were already married. The four of them had gone out together a few times, but James and Laura had always seemed careful around each other. Daisy knew that James had been trying to make a good impression, but that Laura had thought they wouldn’t last. To add to the pressure, James had quickly made it clear to Daisy that he didn’t like Brian.

She smoothed her dress over her stomach. “Maybe I should take up running. I don’t think the cycling is enough.”

She waited for James to tell her she was getting plenty of exercise, but he just nodded vaguely. Great, he obviously agreed with Rosie that she was overweight! Maybe that was why sex had been a bit ... robotic between them recently. She’d been chalking it up to stress on James’ part but, if she were being completely honest, it had felt like they were both simply going through the motions. There had been a couple of times he hadn’t even been able to ... Daisy took a deep breath. She wouldn’t think about that tonight.

Their food arrived, and they spent a while piling their plates with sauces and extra rice.

“This looks great.” James forked some curry into his mouth. “You should try some!”

Was sauce-covered curry more fattening than Vegetarian Saag, Daisy wondered vaguely. She dutifully scooped a small amount off the edge of his plate.

“So, how are Mike and Ciara?” she asked. They’d both been in college with James, and had helped set up TakeOff.

James drank some beer. “Both working as hard as I am.”

Daisy waited.

“I’m not sure what you want me to say,” James added. “They don’t have the same responsibilities I have.” He rolled his shoulders. “Can we talk about something else?”

He turned his attention back to his food, and Daisy sighed. She’d lay bets there were secret agents who talked more about their work.

She watched James eat for a few moments. He was good-looking, she mused – tall and slim, but with decent shoulders, even though the nearest he came to exercise was when his video game persona was being chased. She was pretty sure she was still attracted to him. She just wasn’t sure there was an actual spark anymore.

Which had to mean he wasn’t attracted to her, because she was pretty sure it took two people to spark. But if she were honest, she felt invisible around him sometimes.

Matt, on the other hand, seemed acutely aware of her. The truth was, he wasn’t like any other client. No other client knew how she took her coffee, or what her favourite food was. No other client looked at her the way Matt did. At times, it felt a bit like she’d found her way back to the path she’d stepped off five years ago.

Which was confusing, and completely unfair to James, who ... Daisy blinked ... who was now frowning at his phone.

“What’s wrong?”

James shook his head. “Mike’s messaging about something.”

“At this hour?”

“Yeah, well, there’s a lot going on right now.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

He should just change his last name to Bond, she thought. “So, are we going to go to Daniel’s fortieth birthday party in July?”

James sighed. “I’m not thinking about that, it’s ages away.”

“It’ll be a bit of craic, James. And, like, he’s your brother – it’d be wrong not to go.”

“We’re not like your family, Daisy. We’re just not that close.” James tore off some naan bread and started to chew.

“So think of it as a fun weekend in London. We can plan some stuff, see a show. We haven’t been away in forever and we can definitely afford –”

“Daisy, please!” James said. “Sorry, look, can we talk about it nearer the time?”

“Absolutely. No worries.” She tried not to look disappointed. Why had she even bothered? It would be exactly the same then. She wished he’d make more of an effort with his family – he couldn’t be happy with the way things were.

Or maybe she was completely self-deluded, and James was simply unhappy with her.

“James, we’re okay, aren’t we?” She looked at him.

“Yeah, we’re okay.” When Daisy said nothing, he sighed. “I just can’t play happy families at the moment. I’m sorry, I don’t expect it to make sense.

Daisy felt a familiar twinge of panic. Was he talking about his own family – or the two of them? Now she thought about it, he had never hinted that he wanted more from their relationship. She had always been reluctant to talk about their future, terrified that they might discover they wanted totally separate things. It didn’t matter that they’d been together for five years, or that they owned a house – they’d never sat down to discuss what they actually wanted. Instead, they’d sort of drifted along, and she’d just assumed they’d wanted the same thing. She’d heard of people who’d been together for twice as long as them, but as soon as one person had The Talk, the other person broke it off. What if James wasn’t in this for the long haul?

And what if not asking meant she was about to miss another sign, experience another sliding-door moment in her life?

Or was she overthinking everything? Here they were, enjoying an evening out. Tonight wasn’t about deep, philosophical questions or puzzling over signs and sliding-door moments. It was about the two of them being together and having fun.

She tried to think. Sex: it would be the perfect end to the night. Because when it was good between them, it was actually pretty good. Surreptitiously, she checked there were no bits of spinach stuck between her teeth before flashing James what she hoped was a seductive smile.“I think I have a fairly good idea what you’d like to do when we get home!”

James looked at her gratefully. “Really?” He ran a hand through his hair. “Is it okay if we leave now?”

“Totally okay.” She felt a little zing of happiness, as he motioned for the bill.

As they left the restaurant, she said: “Is it bad to hope Alma is out for the night?”

James laughed. “I don’t know why you’re worried about Alma being there. It won’t matter. I never even hear her when I’m in the office – she’s actually pretty thoughtful.”

“In your office?”

“Yeah, in my office. Where I work.” He looked at her. “Are you sure you’re okay, Daisy? Because you’re acting a bit ... off.”

“Yeah, no, all good.” Daisy cleared her throat. He was going home to work ? That’s what he’d assumed she was talking about? He flashed her a quick smile, but she thought she heard him suppress a sigh.