The Light in Us

19. Zeke

19

Zeke

I cast another glance at the clock on the wall. Then I check my phone.

Again.

Hushed whispers around me. “Zeke?”

I look up. My entire senior team is watching me, waiting on a response to a question I didn’t hear. “Sorry. Run that by me again.”

I like numbers. Usually. Numbers have order. You move them around knowing that eventually, you’ll find the logic in them. There’s always an answer to be found.

But I’m not feeling overly logical today. My stomach is churning, my palms beginning to sweat as I glance at my phone again. Rising to my feet, I interrupt my audit manager as he launches into a discussion on quarterly profits. “Sorry. I… I have an appointment. Let’s reschedule.”

They trail out with a few curious looks in my direction. Since Teddy canceled the planned assistant interviews for today, my calendar is pretty clear. I head up to the top floor, pausing to greet Emily. She’s tapping away as if she’ll still be here tomorrow. “We’re going to miss you, you know.”

“Oh, you.” She waves a dismissive hand at me, but her cheeks pink. She reaches out to adjust the obscene bouquet of flowers on her desk from all of us. “You’ll be just fine, Zeke Quill. The rest of them, I’m not so sure about.”

I’d laugh, if my chest didn’t feel so tight. I head past her, into Teddy’s official office. It’s an interesting mix of comfort and functionality. His huge walnut desk takes up most of the back wall in front of a huge sheet of tinted glass facing out into the city. It’s piled high with various pieces of paperwork and the many submissions from potential authors he refuses to give up, even though he barely has time to breathe most of the time. The rest of the room is a mixture of soft, comfortable chairs and low tables with shelves of books lining every wall.

Teddy is pacing a hole in the carpet, twisting his neck to the side. Fox meets me eyes, his jaw tight. “No sign of her yet.”

Teddy sighs, spinning on his heel as he tugs at his pale gold tie. He’s dressed up for her today in his favorite navy silk shirt. I resist the urge to glance down at my own choice of deep green cotton and a black tie. “I left notes for Lauren to call as soon as she arrived. Several notes.”

“Then she will.” Rowan pushes up his glasses as he hands me a coffee I desperately need. “She’ll be here, Teddy.”

I hold onto that calmness as I take a sip.

“Where’s Wilder?” I ask, noticing the empty space where he normally lounges.

Fox crosses his arms. “He’s staying away for now. Just in case.”

Just in case he loses control. Fuck. I can’t even imagine how he’s feeling. My dominance is strong, but I’ve never had a single feral experience. Fox has his moments – mainly when he falls into rut, but not often. And it’s not quite the same, a focused attention rather than a frantic burst of dominance that steals his personality away and replaces it with something more… animalistic. Wilder battles with it on the daily. None of us – including him – ever truly know what might set him off, although we’ve worked out the big triggers so he can avoid them.

But he can’t avoid his mate .

“He’ll be fine,” Teddy says, throwing up his hands. He sounds exasperated. “He’d never hurt her.”

“But he might scare her. At least at first.” Rowan’s voice is reasonable. “It makes sense for her to meet the rest of you, get a sense for the pack first. He’ll feel more settled that way too.”

“For her to meet all of us,” Fox says firmly. He reaches out and draws Rowan to him, setting him between his hips as he leans back. “That includes you too.”

Rowan’s lips twitch. “Maybe. But I’ll wait until the pheromones clear to introduce myself.”

Teddy half-laughs, half-scoffs. “You wait. You’ll be head over heels before the day is out.”

As long as she shows up.

“We’ll take it slowly.” Fox drops his head, resting it on Rowan’s shoulder. “Remember, she may not realize we’re her scent-matches. Not straight away, at least. And we don’t know her circumstances. So we’ll need to tread carefully – Teddy, that includes you too.”

Something else to consider. Nobody truly knows how scent-matching works, the process boggling the minds of scientists for centuries. It looks different for everyone – the alphas always know first, a biological advantage to help us woo our mates. But every omega is different. For some omegas, it’s an immediate awareness that slams into their minds. For others, it grows over time. And I’ve heard of some scent-matches that snap into place after years.

Most agree that it somehow comes down to the omega, but nobody can explain why .

Teddy throws himself into a chair with a huff. “I can do slow. I’m sure.”

We wait until the silence begins to itch at my skin.

“I’m going down there.” Teddy jumps to his feet, but Fox pins him with a look.

“No. We don’t know who’s around. Everyone on this side of security has been cleared.”

Teddy pouts. “You can come with me.”

“And ambush her?” Rowan glances at me. “Zeke should go. It’ll give him a chance to scent her without the rest of us overwhelming things.”

I still at the thought.

Fallon might be my mate. My scent-match.

I don’t know what’s more frightening.

The thought that she is, and I’m about to meet the omega that will reshape my whole world.

Or that she won’t be, and my mate will be someone else.

My mouth dries, but Rowan’s face is understanding. “You can stay on the edges, Zeke. Just take a little look. It might… help.”

I follow his gaze, to where my knee is jiggling. I slap my hand down on it. “Fine.”

I’m almost at the elevator when I hear Teddy’s outraged squawk. “Stay on the edges ? He’s seven-feet freaking tall and the width of a football field. At least I can blend in!”

“You smell like a hot chocolate muffin at twenty paces. You couldn’t blend in if you tried,” Rowan retorts. “Not unless you were in a damn bakery. And he can hear you.”

I can almost hear the wince. Teddy’s voice carries through the open doorway. “Sorry. You’ve got this, Zeke!”

At her desk, Emily rolls her eyes affectionately. The silent message is obvious.

See what I mean?

I’m glad that the elevator is empty as I travel down from the top floor to the lobby. My fingers pluck at my tie before I fiddle with my sleeves. I’ve pushed them up over my elbows as I always do, but now I wonder if Fallon would prefer me to look smarter. More put together than a beast of an alpha playing at wearing office clothes when I look like a damn lumberjack.

It’s almost a relief when the doors open, saving me from my own chaotic thoughts. I step out into the lobby, my eyes traveling over the jam-packed area. We have several college groups in today. There must be over fifty people in front of me, talking, laughing, pointing up at the artwork Wilder chose for the walls. Scenes from all of our favorite books form a complex and beautiful mural that carries around the room.

I crane my head, but I can’t see any sign of an omega waiting. The room is filled with the scent of everyone lingering and passing through, making it impossible to pick a single thread. A weight settles inside my chest as I pull out my phone.

No sign of her. I’ll wait.

I can’t think of a single thing more important right now than watching those doors. I lean against a pillar and settle in as the minutes tick by, watching the hustle and bustle around me and nodding to a few curious colleagues who pass by.

The college groups ebb and flow, some passing through into the building as more arrive. It’s coming up to the opening of our paid internship programme. We have spots available for everything from marketing to finance, editing and acquisitions to business management. Competition is fierce, given we pay an excellent wage and offer real experience.

Too many others rely on their interns for unpaid administrative labor.

An hour passes, then another. The churning in my stomach only grows as every minute ticks by and there’s no sign of Fallon.

When the lobby eventually begins to clear, I take a breath and make my way over to the counter. There’s no sign of Lauren, our usual beta receptionist. Instead, an unfamiliar beta with painted red lips and heavily lacquered blond hair stands in her place.

She turns to me, her face flickering in recognition. “Mr Quill?”

I offer her an apologetic smile. “You have me at a disadvantage. I was expecting Lauren.”

“Oh.” The beta nods. “She’s not well this week. But I’ve covered her before, so I’m well-versed in how things work around here. I’m Caroline.”

A smile grows on her lips, stretching out as she leans forward. Her eyes flicker over my chest. “Maybe I can be of assistance?”

I take a small step back. “A message was left for Lauren that we were expecting an omega to come in for an interview. Fallon. Has she arrived?”

Caroline’s lips part, her eyes widening. “Uh – well. We’ve had a few walk-ins without set appointments. The security arrangements changed yesterday, so we had to turn them away – the instructions were very clear.”

I stare at her. My heart thuds, the beat growing faster. “What? Was she here ?”

Caroline swallows. She reaches down and pulls out a familiar coat. “She left this behind. I’m so sorry, Mr Quill. It’s been a very busy morning. I was going to call up for her, but she had no identification on her either, so I assumed she didn’t actually have an appointment.”

It’s not an unfair assumption. We get a lot of people trying their luck to get to Teddy, thinking they can influence him into publishing their manuscript because he’s an omega.

My heart wrenches as I take the coat from her. And as I pull it into my arms, a small whisper of scent trickles into the air and directly into my nose.

Sweet and spicy. Mouth-watering, fresh orange blossoms underpinned by the musky spice of nutmeg.

I stagger back, gripping the coat tightly as the blood rushes from my face.

Mate.

Caroline’s mouth is moving, babbling, apologizing, but I’m not paying her any attention. Instead, I bring Teddy’s coat up to my nose and breathe in deeply. His scent is the deepest, layered in familiarity and years of wear, but my mate’s scent is a thin layer over the top. Delicate and feminine, but with a surprising strength that sends my head spinning.

Mine.

My mate.

Slowly, I lift my head. “ Where is she ?”

“She was here,” Caroline is clearly petrified that she’s fucked up. She jabs her finger toward the corner. “She was waiting – but I don’t remember seeing her leave.”

My mate was here. Turned away at the entrance, but she still waited.

How the fuck did I miss her? “Where was she sitting?”

Caroline points behind her with shaking fingers, to the very corner of the lobby. The one seat hidden from my line of sight, blocked by the counter. “There.”

Keeping hold of the coat with shaking fingers, I stalk around the counter and stare down at the empty seat.

“Mr Quill,” Caroline is nearly whimpering now, and I belatedly realize that my own scent is blasting out of me, soaking the air. “I’m really sorry.”

I try to breathe, to think. My phone starts to buzz, Fox undoubtedly picking up on the emotions blasting through the pack bond, but I can’t answer it.

I lost her.

And her scent is even stronger here, curling around me and threatening to pull a roar from my throat. It feels like it’s growing, deepening .

“Um. Excuse me?”

I jolt at the quiet voice that comes from behind me. And slowly, I turn.

Her fingers tangled in a faded blue tea dress, my mate stares at me. Beautiful amber eyes widen. She breathes in, sways slightly. “Sorry. I was… in the bathroom.”

Her voice is hoarse as she pushes a long, thick strand of dark hair back over her shoulder. And her hand… it’s shaking. “Am I too late? For the interviews?”

“ Fallon ,” I finally find my voice somewhere along with my lost brain, her name a rasp on my lips. “You’re Fallon?”

She shifts on her feet, her hands gripping her upper arms like she’s building armor. “Yes?”

Fallon offers me a soft, uncertain smile. And then she does something that has my lungs emptying of oxygen, my chest threatening to rumble with the beginnings of a damn purr.

Because my mate shows me her throat .

Fallon tilts her neck in a gentle, unconscious act of submission that nearly takes me to my knees, wiping out the tension gripping my spine in one fell swoop.

I don’t know if she’s aware that she’s doing it at all, giving me a good look at the pale column of unmarked skin as my fingers twist and clench into fists.

There’s no bonding mark, no bite. Just a perfect, empty space begging for my teeth to gently grip, to mark, to brand her as mine .

She’s unclaimed.

And she’s exactly what I need.

The heaviness of my scent, the panic soaking into my bones… it shifts into something else . Something infinitely more tender, but with a fire underneath that threatens to burn my soul.

In a single moment, my heart ceases to belong inside my body. It’s hers now, this omega who barely reaches my upper chest, even though she’s taller than most.

My mate is perfect .

And she clearly has no idea that I’m her scent-match. I try not to swallow my tongue, force a nod. “I’m so sorry we kept you waiting. I’m here to… take you up. To Teddy. For the… for the interview.”

Smooth. Real smooth, Zeke.

Briefly, Fallon closes her eyes. Something that looks an awful lot like relief flits over her face before she opens them again. Her smile deepens. “That sounds perfect. Thank you.”

I don’t move, though. I don’t think I can. Because I can’t stop looking at her, letting her scent soak into me.

Fucking hell. I want to roll around in that sweet, musky perfume like a damned puppy. And it’s softer now, muted.

When she’s in heat – or when her emotions overwhelm her… I’m going to lose my damn mind for this omega.

When Fallon sucks her lower lip into her mouth, I nearly lunge, yanking myself back with a harsh swallow.

My lip to bite. I want my teeth in her skin, my mark on her.

Jesus fuck – tone it down, you absolute caveman.

No wonder Wilder ran. I don’t blame him at all for not risking it.

“Um.”

My attention snaps up from where I’ve been staring at her lips. Fallon fidgets, her fingers twisting in her dress as a small burst of her perfume reaches me, her scent deepening. “I’m ready when you are.”

I nod. I can’t speak. So I spin, heading toward the elevator as I clear my throat. “Follow me.”

My mind is racing. But one detail keeps jumping out at me.

Her dress .

It’s pretty – and I’m pretty sure anything would be perfect on my mate – but it’s faded, worn. Noticeably so.

And Teddy already told us she was wearing a faded blue dress. Yesterday.

I hold the elevator door for her as Fallon slips past me, gifting me with another fragrant burst of orange blossoms as we walk into the enclosed space.

I immediately start breathing through my mouth, but it sounds ridiculously loud in the silent space. And frankly, a bit bizarre.

So I stop breathing altogether.

As the doors slide closed and I risk running out of oxygen, I sneak another look at her. Our eyes meet, and her lips part, a blush crawling over her face as she glances away without saying anything.

Speak, you idiot.

Blissful oxygen flows into my lungs when I open my mouth, a heavy wheezing sound slipping out that makes my mate jump.

Damn it.

“So…,” I search desperately for anything that isn’t a request for a lifetime commitment. “Have you ever worked in publishing before?”

This is good. I want to find out more about her, to know everything about this omega, and this is a safe space to start.

Except it’s not. I catch the hitch in her breath, the way that the bright color drains away from her face. She starts nibbling on her lip again. “Not… not really. Are you… do you work with Teddy?”

I forgot to even introduce myself.

“Zeke.” I croak it. “Zeke Quill. I’m the…the Chief Finance Officer. Here. At Ink & Quill.”

She blinks. “You’re Teddy’s alpha?”

“No,” I say carefully. “But I’m his packmate.”

There’s curiosity there that she buries, but I like the glimpse I get.

Ask me , I will silently. Ask me anything you want. Talk to me, sweetheart.

But as the doors slide open, she’s still quiet.

“This way.” She follows a half-step behind me as I lead her down the hall toward Teddy’s office. My mouth starts to run away from me in my increasing panic, more words coming out than I think I’ve said in the last week. “We’re pretty informal here. It’ll just be a chat, especially with Teddy. One of us might sit in, since you’d be working with all of us, but it’s nothing to worry about.”

I can sense her tension rising, feel it in the way her perfume sharpens, fluctuating with her nerves. “All of you?”

Don’t overwhelm her.

“Our pack,” I clarify, resisting the urge to smack myself in the face. “The position is mainly to help Teddy, but we all have things we might need a hand with occasionally. The Quill pack makes up the leadership team here.”

We pass Emily, and I pause, backtracking. “Fallon, this is Emily. The interview is to fill her position when she retires.”

Emily smiles warmly, and it’s enough to settle the omega by my side as they exchange greetings. Em leans forward, eyes twinkling.

“They’ll try to wind you around their little finger. Don’t let them, Fallon. I’ll leave you my bat just in case you need it.” Emily points to the baseball bat propped up behind her desk. “One good smack should knock some sense into them.”

Fallon takes a small step back, her eyes sliding to me in silent question.

I blanch. “Just to be clear, she has never used that bat on us. It’s just a joke.”

Emily winks. “Always a first time.”

Damn it. I can feel the heat rising on my face, but something in our exchange has Fallon relaxing, a smile playing around her lips. “I’ll bear that in mind. Thank you.”

I swipe a hand over my flaming face. “Let’s go, before Emily gets us in any more trouble. Or starts chasing me with that bat.”

A small huff of amusement sounds behind me.

Maybe the best sound I’ve ever heard. My chest puffs up – and jeez, I need to get a fucking grip because you couldn’t even call it a proper laugh.

Deep breath.

It’s only as I push the door open that I remember that I was supposed to message them when she arrived.

My bad.