The Light in Us

23. Fallon

23

Fallon

“ W elcome to Ink & Quill, Fallon.”

Teddy leans back in his chair and grins at me. “This feels like the start of a beautiful friendship.”

My smile almost falters. I’d give almost anything for that to be true. The Quill pack – the way that they work together, care for each other – I’d give almost anything to be a part of that.

But I have my own pack.

And I’d give anything to be free of them.

In a few weeks, I’m taking whatever wages I can earn and I’m running.

I’ll never see Teddy or the Quill pack again.

And I feel more settled in my decision as we sit and talk. Teddy and Rowan brush off my inexperience, my stumbled explanations of why I dropped out of school. Interested, but not pitying.

This is the right decision. Because as Teddy shows me to the door, throwing a joke over his shoulder to Rowan, the knowledge that’s been bubbling somewhere in my chest grows until it physically hurts.

This is how a pack should be. Whatever the Smith pack and I have… it’s not right. Today has opened my eyes to what an idiot I’ve been, to let things get to this point.

I have to get out.

As Teddy opens the door, he starts to laugh. “Have you been waiting there the whole time?”

The two alphas leaning on either side of the door exchange looks. Fox Quill runs his eyes over me, bright and assessing. “How did it go? Will you be joining us, Fallon?”

I bite my lip. Fox’s dominance… it’s like bathing in a warm pool. Protective. Caring. Something you can relax into. And I’m only getting the scraps of how Fox feels about Teddy.

Combined with Zeke’s, it’s enough to make my head swim.

Teddy doesn’t realize how lucky he is.

Although as Teddy ducks easily beneath Fox’s arm, I wonder if that’s true. They’re all so solid in how they interact. There’s no uncertainty, no fear there.

“She’s starting tomorrow,” Teddy announces happily. “So don’t do anything to put her off between here and the exit, please.”

“I wouldn’t do that.” Fox doesn’t smile, but his eyes warm. Sunshine and books. I keep my breathing light, in case I do anything else to embarrass myself. “We’ll walk you out. Teddy, Wilder is calling your office any second.”

“What—,”

Behind us, a phone starts to ring. Teddy sighs, but he bounces past me anyway. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Fallon!”

Rowan slips past me with a smile. “I’ll be the one sorting your equipment out, so I’ll see you in the morning too. It was nice to meet you, Fallon.”

Fox murmurs something I don’t catch before he brushes his knuckle over Rowan’s cheek. It’s surprisingly intimate, and heat rises on my cheeks.

Feeling eyes on my face, I glance at Zeke.

He’s watching me with interest, and I drop my eyes to the floor, wondering what he’s just seen.

I’d better get used to it. I get the feeling this pack is this way all of the time.

As Rowan leaves, Fox turns back to me. “May we walk you out?”

“You don’t need to.” With Teddy and Rowan gone, their full attention on me, it feels… exhilarating, if not overwhelming. My lips part as Fox’s gaze drops to my mouth, but he immediately glances away.

“I’d like to,” he says a little roughly. “Both of us, if you’ll indulge it.”

“Sure.” It’s nearly a whisper.

The elevator doesn’t help. In true alpha habit, they nudge me into place between them until they’re all I can smell.

Zeke’s arm brushes against mine, and I shiver.

Do not lick the alpha.

Fox clears his throat. Loudly.

I wait, but he doesn’t say anything.

On my other side, Zeke’s jaw is a tight line. He interrupts the silence. “Why don’t you have a coat?”

My pulse spikes and both alphas tense, as if they can hear it. “Oh, I forgot it.”

Zeke looks down at me, his eyes searching. I force a shrug. “I’m always doing it.”

He nods, but his jaw is still locked. “You should wear one. It’s going to be cold tomorrow.”

If I had one, I would.

They walk me through the lobby, Fox holding out his arm to stop an over-zealous group from bumping into me until we reach the doors.

When I turn to them, I find them both watching me. Suddenly shy, my hand jumps up to my ear, pushing it behind my ear. “Thank you very much for the opportunity. I won’t let you down.”

Until I leave them in a month. And as Fox smiles, surprisingly gentle, I hate myself for the lie. “You couldn’t let us down if you tried, I’m sure. How are you getting home?”

“Oh, I don’t live far. I’ll walk. Thank you!”

They both hesitate at that, but I’m already darting through the doors, before Zeke can bring up my lack of a coat.

I don’t even feel the cold as I walk home, crossing the street to avoid the far-too-fancy Wordsmith building. It’s barely a thought in my head, my smile spreading across my face.

I have a job .

An actual, paying job, in a publishing house.

My hand flies to my throat as if I can ease the ache.

Not the way I always planned. Not as an editor.

But I still feel proud of myself as I hurry home, stopping at the grocery store on the way. The house is silent when I let myself in, my pack still at work as I carefully place the change on the side with the receipt and unpack.

It feels a little surreal.

As if I no longer quite fit in this sterile kitchen.

There’s no phone call today. The space where the phone used to hang on the wall is empty, and I busy myself by cooking a salmon dish for dinner. Ellis always pretends he hates it, even though he eats the whole plate.

I stop, my hands buried in the pastry I’ll use to wrap the filets.

Steady, Fallon. One more month. That’s it.

I can do a month. I will do a month.

And then there will be no more shouting. No more punishments. No more cold showers and no more pain.

As the food cooks, I drop my hand to my stomach.

The Quill pack would never let Teddy be in pain. Not for a second.

I deserve more.

Deserve far more than these alphas have ever given me. Even Rory, who acts like he loves me even as he stands back and lets the punishments happen, never saying anything. Never stopping it.

My newly-found steel lasts up until the moment I hear a key in the lock. Glancing at the clock, I stand, my hands finding the pocket of my apron as they appear, one by one.

Ellis doesn’t even look at me. Doesn’t apologize for last night, as Shaun tosses a package at me. “We’re going for dinner. Wear this.”

I don’t look at the freshly-cooked food laid out. Instead I turn over the package in my hands. “Where are we doing?”

“For dinner.” Rory slides his arm around my waist. I let him press his lips to my cheek. “With a potential new client.”

“So don’t fuck it up.” Shaun’s tone is tight as he counts the change from my grocery shopping, the receipt tight in his hand. “I want this author on our roster.”

Confused, I look between them. “Why am I coming?”

I’ve never been to a business dinner with them. They’ve never allowed me close enough.

The three of them exchange glances. Rory pulls me more into him, until his chest is pressed against my back. “This author is an omega. She’s not especially comfortable around alphas, so we told her about you. Figured she’d be more comfortable signing a contract if she met our omega.”

He nuzzles into my neck, but my body doesn’t relax into him. It tenses, my muscles locking.

I don’t want him to touch me. But even with him pressing into me, it doesn’t ease the ache that springs up in my abdomen. A throbbing, needy ache.

Not quite pain. But not nice.

Ellis slides in front of me. His fingers lift up my chin, holding me in place.

“You will not embarrass us,” he says with a hard look. “You will not speak unless spoken to, and you will smile and make this omega feel at ease. Do you understand?”

How can I do that if I’m not allowed to speak?

He’s still holding onto me.

“Say it,” he prompts. “ I will not embarrass you, Ellis .”

I wet my lips. “I… I will not embarrass you.”

He drops my chin with a look of disgust. “Hard not to. Look at you. Pathetic.”

Rory draws me behind him. “Go and get ready. We leave in an hour.”

As he lets go of my wrist, the ache lessens.

Weird.

My heat is definitely on the way, my body going haywire with new symptoms. Shaun follows me down to my bedroom. “Any update?”

I don’t look at him as I start opening the package. “No. It’s coming, though.”

He sighs. “First sign of a spike and we’ll do it. We have too much happening at the office to deal with you right now. If we have to double dose you it won’t be the end of the world.”

Just a double dose of unpleasantness for me.

But that doesn’t even register with Shaun.

***

The clink of cutlery, the low sound of a piano and murmurs of conversation echo as I reach for my glass.

The small drop of wine Shaun poured me is long gone, but I take a sip of water.

Across from me, the omega author I’ve watched my pack trying to woo for the last hour smiles at me. She’s gorgeous, her lustrous russet skin shimmering beneath a sleek wine-colored dress. Nia Weeks tilts her head to the side, curiosity coloring her expression. “And what do you do, Fallon?”

Before I can respond, cold fingers cup the back of my neck. Shaun massages the skin a little too tightly as he smiles without showing his teeth. “Fallon enjoys being at home. She’s quite a shy omega. Aren’t you, darling?”

Forcing my own smile, I nod my head before Shaun can do that for me too. “Ah, yes. Not very exciting, I’m afraid.”

“Nonsense,” Nia says firmly. Ellis tops up her glass again, and she waves a hand in thanks. “I must say, I’m glad to meet you. It makes these alphas seem a little more human.”

The quirky smile she gives them takes the sting out of her words. Across from where I’m tucked between Ellis and Shaun, Rory raises his hands with a wounded expression. “I’m hurt.”

She laughs, deep and throaty. “No, you’re not. Wordsmith are well-known for their ambition. And I want my books to do well.”

“Well,” Shaun says. “That’s certainly something we can help with. I even brought a contract with me, in the happy event that we can persuade you to sign with us.”

Nia’s face flickers. “Interesting. I’d certainly be happy to take a look.”

She rises from her seat. To my surprise, she turns to me. “Fallon. Would you be a darling and come with me to the bathroom? This dress is a little fussy.”

Ellis grips my knee so tightly I feel his nails dig in. “Of course.”

They don’t say anything as they watch me go. But I can feel their warning wrapped around me like a leash as I follow Nia into the restroom. She gestures to a hook on the back of her dress. “Nightmare. I don’t know why I picked this one for tonight.”

“It’s a beautiful dress.” I unhook her, both of us disappearing into separate cubicles.

As I’m washing my hands, she comes up beside me. “Tell me something, Fallon. Should I sign with Wordsmith? They want a seven-year minimum contract with all rights, domestic, international, every format, to any books I write. There’s money there, but not until I’ve sold a frankly ridiculous amount of copies for a debut author.”

I still as Nia leans forward to check her lipstick. “Sometimes, we’re so desperate to be what we want to be that we can make bad choices without realizing. And I’ve wanted to be an author since I was a kid. But I also want to be comfortable with my choice.”

Our eyes meet in the mirror.

“I don’t know much about how they work.” My throat feels dry. “I’m not sure I’m the right person to give advice, honestly.”

“But you’re their omega.” She flips open a compact and begins applying a cream over her cheeks. “Which in my view, makes you exactly the right person. I agreed to this dinner because I’m interested in who they are as people, and even after two hours of sitting at the same table, I still can’t work them out. That's why I wanted to meet you.”

I will not embarrass you.

“Don’t sign with them,” I say in a rush.

Nia stops. She doesn’t say anything. She just watches me.

“You’ll regret it,” I say quietly. My heartbeat leaps inside my chest as I glance toward the door. “If the contract is bad, it won’t get any better. Don’t sign it, Nia. Don’t sign with them.”

“Damn.” Nia snaps the compact closed. Her shoulders sag. “I thought this might be my breakthrough moment.”

“You should try Ink & Quill. They have an omega CEO.”

Her nod is considering. “Maybe I will. Fallon—,”

There’s a knock at the door. “Fallon? Are you okay?”

Ellis’s insincere voice filters through, and Nia and I look at each other.

I look away first.

“Fine,” I say loudly. “Coming now!”