The Light in Us

32. Wilder

32

Wilder

I hear him come in, but I don’t stop. I keep hammering the bag in a one-two motion. My knuckles are screaming at me to stop.

I can’t stop.

That’s the fucking problem.

Fox jumps up, ducking his body between the ropes to get into the ring. “If you want to fight, I’ll work it out on the mat with you.”

“Because we haven’t had enough fighting today.” My tone is sarcastic as I keep hitting the bag.

I thought this might help. Help to work off some of the energy still buzzing around my body. But all it’s doing is making me more aware of just how much damage I can do.

How much damage I did today.

I pull my punch just in time, yanking my arm back as Fox slips between me and the bag, folding his arms.

I bellow at him. “For fucks’ sake. I could have hit you!”

Fox only raises his eyebrow. “Could you?”

Sweat is dripping from me. I got rid of my ripped suit as soon as we got back to the house, tearing it off and shoving it into the trash, replacing it with a pair of gray sweatpants.

I don’t even know what happened to the flowers. Scattered and crushed all over the sidewalk, probably.

That’s what happens when you try to be civilized.

Nothing but a damn animal after all.

“I’m not in the mood for a pep talk, Fox. We’re a little past that, don’t you think?” I start unwrapping my wrists. “I’ll run it out.”

“You need to meet Fallon.”

I stop with my back to him. My chest is heaving, my body covered in sweat. “Not a good idea.”

A realization I’ve been adjusting to for the past six hours, locked away in our gym under the town house.

Alphas like me don’t get nice things. We don’t get gentle mates, not unless we want to hurt them – which I don’t.

We don’t get a happy ending.

“Today wasn’t your fault.” Fox follows me to the running machine. “The scent-matching does ridiculous things when it first appears. You know that. Add in Teddy, and it was always going to be a clusterfuck. But it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault , Wilder.”

“Tell that to Emily’s desk. Or to Zeke’s sprained wrist.” I set a punishing pace.

“That was me,” Fox points out, exasperated. “I elbowed him. He’s been icing it, and it wasn’t that bad.”

But none of it would have happened if it wasn’t for me.

“Listen to me.” Fox smacks the button on the treadmill, slowing it. “She needs you, Wild. Fallon needs you. You hear me? Our mate? She needs you, asshole. Pull yourself together.”

My muscles turn to stone. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

He has my full attention now. Fox sighs. “Something is wrong. She’s in trouble.”

He holds up a hand, his words a bark. “ Control it .”

I wrestle the vibrations that wrack my body into submission, pinning them down. “Like it’s that easy.”

“This is,” he says quietly. “Fallon has a difficult home life. Teddy knows more, but she has asked him not to say anything to us and I’ve agreed, unless she is in immediate danger.”

My fists clench. “What the fuck , Fox? Why?”

He looks tired. “Because being Fallon’s scent-match does not entitle us to trample all over her and force her into sharing things she’s not comfortable with.”

And he hates it. I can see it in the rigidity of his shoulders, the tightness of his jaw. “I don’t like it any more than you do, believe me.”

He swipes a hand over his face. “That’s what the surge in the bond was. Teddy finding out. We’re going to get her out, Wild.”

My pack leader eyes me carefully, but I force myself to stay still. To listen to this information about my mate. “But I need you. Fallon needs you. So tomorrow, you’re coming to the office, Wilder. You’re going to meet her, and once you do, it’s one more obstacle out of your way. You would have been fine today if it wasn’t for the bond surge.”

I swallow. Hard. “I can’t stand the idea of hurting her, Fox. It’s tearing me apart.”

He considers. “You think I’d let you anywhere near my mate if I thought you were a danger? You think Zeke would encourage you to meet her?”

“I—,” I stop.

Fox smiles slightly. “Tomorrow, Wild. It’s another day. We’ll be better prepared this time. And I think that once you meet her… you’ll find that your world starts rearranging itself. You might be surprised by your own reactions.”

He turns to leave.

“What’s she like?”

My longing colors the air around us with my scent. It bursts out of me along with the question I’m desperate to know the answer to.

Fox glances over his shoulder. “She’s fragile, at least at first. Quiet. Sweet. But she’s resilient, Wild. She didn’t bat an eye at the carnage. All she was worried about was what she was doing to us . I have a feeling Fallon is much stronger than any of us are giving her credit for.”

My lungs feel like they expand. I take a deep, satisfied breath. “Our mate.”

“Yes.” Fox heads for the door. “Pull your head out of your ass, get an early night, and you can see for yourself.”