The Light in Us

44. Fox

44

Fox

I have always had the most control in this pack.

Always.

But now I can feel it fraying, strands falling away from my grasping hands like trying to hold onto fucking air, as my small, perfect, petrifyingly fragile mate faces off with me in the middle of our living room.

It’s not the meeting I always imagined.

Teddy and Rowan are curled up against each other on the sofa opposite, mouths agog as they watch Fallon cross her arms. “I have to go back, Fox.”

My mate is magnificent.

If I wasn’t so scared, I’d be in awe of the way she doesn’t back away. Her head is tilted to display her neck, her eyes down, but she doesn’t back off, doesn’t shy away from the anger filling my every muscle.

Because she knows I’ll never hurt her.

Or because she’s used to dealing with worse situations.

That thought sends fury snaking down my spine in a red-hot burst of fire.

Fallon knows we’re her scent-matched mates now. I can almost see that knowledge wrapped around her, in the way she sneaks glances at Zeke and Wilder, both leaning against the wall. I could see it in the way she looked at me when I stormed in, no fear in those amber eyes as I started yelling.

Even Wilder is more fucking chill than I am. He doesn’t look happy – far fucking from it – but his eyes are soft on our mate, drinking her in with growing admiration that wars with fear.

That knowledge is the sole saving grace keeping me from a full-blown alpha fucking tantrum as I cross my hands behind my back to stop myself reaching for her. “But why ?”

She shifts. “I need to get something.”

I can’t stop myself anymore. My hands grip her arms, gentle, but I don’t give her a choice as I slide them up until I can cup her cheeks.

“We can buy you whatever you need,” I breathe. “You have full access to all of the accounts, Fallon. Empty them, if you want. You can fill this whole house with anything you want. But you’re not going back there.”

It’s killing me, that steadiness in her eyes as she slowly lifts her hands to cup mine. Still a little hesitant. Just the soft touch of her hands has me ready to drop at her knees and beg. “ Please .”

She’s not going to change her mind.

And I can’t – won’t – force her to stay. A line so absolute in my mind that I’d slit my own throat before crossing it.

I will never force my will on an omega. Not unless we’re in a consensual situation, or they’re on the verge of death.

My lips press together, considering.

“Fox,” Teddy says softly. “This is not the time.”

“They’ve never hurt me physically,” Fallon says again. She’s said it over and over again for more than an hour as we’ve stood here and argued, as if the word on the end of that sentence makes a single fucking iota of difference. She swallows. “It’s not like that.”

I have to close my eyes. I can’t look at the expression in her eyes anymore.

“Tell me,” I say roughly. I keep hold of her hands, gripping them like a lifeline I desperately need. “If they have never hurt you, Fallon… why do you look so scared ?”

Because she’s radiating with it, every time she mentions her home.

She freezes.

My voice drops. “How they hurt you… I care about that. And I want to know every part of it, Fallon, but it doesn’t matter to me nearly as much as the fact that they hurt you in the first place. Emotionally. Mentally. However they fucking hurt you, it doesn’t matter. Only that they did .”

Sticks and stones don’t break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

They had a bad day.

It was a one-off.

Bullshit. All of it.

She doesn’t say anything, and I dare to hope that I’m getting through.

“Pack ostracization takes place over years .” It still guts me to even say the words, but I force them out. Trying to get through to her. “That is not nothing, Fallon. We don’t even know what effect that will have on you going forward. And I know that this scent-match is new and we have a lot to work through, but believe me when I say that the thought of letting you walk out of here and back there is ripping me apart .”

Fallon stares at me, pain creasing her face.

“One night,” she whispers. “There won’t be an argument, Fox. I’ll go home and go to bed. We don’t even share a bedroom. And tomorrow, when they go to work, I’ll get what I need and walk out of there.”

Small hands on my chest. “I will come… home . And I promise that I won’t leave again, but I can’t leave this behind.”

Home.

Her voice stutters over the word as if it doesn’t quite fit yet.

It will.

Teddy shifts. “It’s the book, isn’t it?”

We all stop to look at him. Fallon presses her lips together, but she nods. “I can’t leave it behind. It’s the only thing I care about, Fox. It’s irreplaceable.”

I suck in a breath. “Whatever book it is, I will—,”

“My dad gave me this book.” She beseeches me with her eyes. “It’s the only thing I have left of them. I don’t have anything else. Not even a photo. I cannot lose it.”

Rowan starts to frown, but he doesn’t say anything as Teddy murmurs something in his ear. He nods.

I’m flagging. Turning, I glare at Zeke and Wilder. “Well?”

Wilder hesitates. He looks as if he still doesn’t believe she’s real. “Fallon… I agree with Fox. But this isn’t a dictatorship. It’s your choice.”

Damn him for agreeing with me. “Zeke?”

Zeke crosses his arms. He pins his gaze on Fallon, eyes unrelenting. “I’ll drive you to the house. And I’ll wait outside. All night, until the morning when you’ll get back into my car and I’ll take you away from there with anything you want to bring. If you need help, you flick a light switch on and off and I’ll smash through that door so fast they won’t even see me coming.”

He takes a breath. “But I’d prefer to go now and just get it for you. I don’t give a fuck about whoever’s in there.”

“Wow.” Teddy’s stunned whisper drops into the silence. “Mated, grumpy Zeke is sexy .”

“ Teddy ,” I growl. But… I consider it. I still hate the idea, but—

“I can cope with that,” I say begrudgingly. “We can all go.”

“Just Zeke,” Fallon whispers. She looks up at me as hurt flickers in my chest. “Not because of – just in case. Please.”

Her eyes travel to Teddy. Then Rowan. They flicker to Wilder next.

My heart constricts. She’s worried – about us ?

“How many are there?” I ask roughly. She holds up three fingers, and Zeke nods.

He’d annihilate three alphas if he had to. Particularly the type of alphas who get their kicks from tormenting an omega.

My temper threatens again, and I have to turn away from her pleading expression. If I don’t, I might steal her away and lock her in a room until I know she’s safe.

And that’s something I refuse to do.

“Nobody will ever hurt you again,” I say quietly. “Including me. So if you need to go, go. But we’ll be ready to get you out.”

A small hand slips into mine, and squeezes. She’s smiling at me, uncertain but a small glow about her. “Thank you.”

“What did I say?” I squeeze back. “Never thank me. I never want you to feel grateful to me, Fallon.”

Her eyes soften. “Then what do you want?”

Everything else .

I expect her to go, but my mate shocks me. She takes a step away before inhaling and spinning back around.

She hits my middle like a feather, almost bouncing off before I grab her to keep her steady. Her arms wrap around me tightly. “I won’t be long. And when we get back – we’ll talk.”

She sighs when I drop my cheek to her head. I’m so damn tempted to scent-mark her, but I hold back.

I don’t want them to scent it on her. And once I start, I won’t be able to stop. “Try not to… to let them get close. They might scent us.”

My eyes lift to Zeke’s, and he nods at me.

He’ll take care of our mate.

But as she walks away from me, it feels like she’s tearing my heart out.