The Light Within (Shadow and Light Duology #2)

23. Julien

twenty-three

Julien

J ulien’s fingers gripped the leather steering wheel, cracked, bleeding knuckles white as he navigated the narrow, winding road that led away from the church. The frosty air clawed at the edges of the windshield, dustings of snow falling onto the glass before the wipers violently cleared them.

Hardly ideal driving conditions for a to-the-death car chase.

Behind him, the SUV loomed large, its headlights glaring through the snow like the eyes of a predator.

“Hold on, Maz,” Julien muttered under his breath, urging the car forward, pedal to the metal. The engine roared as she accelerated smoothly, handling the icy corners with a grace no ordinary car could manage. Still, the tension in the air was palpable, the cold seeping through the vehicle’s frame and into Julien’s bones.

Although Julien’s eyes should have been firmly planted on the road, he couldn’t help but routinely flick them to Cinn. His body pressed tightly into the seat, fingers digging into the leather. Every twist in the road was punctuated by a short, sharp burst of breath. “They’re gaining on us,” he said, voice tight with worry. “Can you go any faster?”

Julien was already pushing eighty, an impressive feat considering the conditions. “Now is not the time for back-seat driving!”

A glance in the rear-view mirror revealed the black SUV closing the gap between them. Julien cursed under his breath .

If he wasn’t driving, he could’ve done something—channelled windmotes to whip up a blinding flurry of snow, or better yet, frozen the tarmac to send the SUV skidding off the road. But with both hands on the wheel and every ounce of concentration focussed on keeping them on the winding road, there was little he could do but push Maz to her limits.

The road twisted through the forest, and they raced past tall, skeletal trees. The headlights caught glimpses of the frosted bark, turning the world into a blur of black and white. Julien’s heart pounded in his chest, each beat matching the rhythmic thrum of the engine. The SUV remained dogged in its pursuit, its driver showing no signs of giving up.

Just who exactly was chasing them, and how many in number? Likely, they were good buddies with the two dead bodies in the back. Would it be safest to stop and fight them? What were a couple more murders to his tally at this point?

Tempting, but the memory of bandaging Cinn’s arm that morning had Julien aggressively slamming the pedal down. Non. However tantalising, Julien’s abilities couldn’t be trusted, especially in this state of mind. He wouldn’t lose anyone else by his own hand. Especially not his boyfriend. His boyfriend, who’d told Julien that he loved him. Loved him. It was unbelievable, but Julien would take it.

He’d protect Cinn if it killed him.

They rounded a particularly sharp bend. The body laying across the back seat lurched forward, smacking into the headrests. Julien winced.

The village of Moret-sur-Loing came into view—the cobbled streets were quiet, only a few locals braving the cold to run errands. Julien cursed again. He didn’t want to involve innocents in this mess, but he had no choice. The narrow streets of the village, with its sharp turns, were their best chance to lose the tail.

Blaring the horn, which roared like a foghorn with its enhanced volume, Julien gunned the engine, and Maz surged forward into the village. A couple of pedestrians on the pavement stopped in their tracks, faces alarmed as the black car sped past them. Julien narrowly avoided a cart full of produce, sending apples tumbling into the street. The vendor shouted something that was lost in the carnage.

Cinn craned his neck to look behind them. “They’re still there, Julien! We’re not losing them.”

I have eyes.

Julien’s jaw clenched. He swerved around a parked car, barely missing the side mirror. The SUV followed, its tyres screeching as it skidded slightly on the icy road but quickly regained control. They tore through the centre of the village, the ancient buildings a blur on either side.

“Watch out for those kids!”

A group of youths bundled in scarves and hats gawked as they zoomed by. Julien winced. He really would be off to hell if he mowed down a bunch of children.

Rubber burned. Nerves frayed.

Maz blasted through the last stretch of the village, the paved streets giving way to the open countryside, and its dirt tracks. The snow was falling heavier now, the flakes sticking to the ground and making the drive even more treacherous. Maz handled it better than most cars would, the motetech enhancements giving her an edge in the worsening conditions.

But Julien felt her strain as if she were a part of him, the violent billows of fumes trailing behind them acting as a sign of protest. He stroked the steering wheel. “Well done, girl.”

“This isn’t working.” Cinn’s voice was edged with panic. “We’re not going to shake—holy shit! Look!”

Julien’s eyes flicked to the rear-view mirror, heart skipping a beat. The SUV was still on their tail, but now a passenger was leaning out of the window, clutching a sleek, black weapon. It was unmistakably motetech, and Julien’s blood ran cold as he recognized the design, tendrils of electric-blue light snaking around the barrel.

Cinn was right to be scared—this wasn’t just a chase any longer. They were about to be under attack.

“We can’t let them hit us with that,” Julien said.

“No shit!”

Julien’s mind raced, calculating the success of their very few remaining options. “Hang on tight.” He tightened his grip on the wheel.

“What are you—”

Julien yanked the wheel to the right, sending Maz careening off the road and onto a dirt track that cut through a field. The tyres skidded on the loose gravel, and Cinn was thrown against the door.

“ Julien !”

The SUV followed, barrelling down the narrow track after them. Julien fought to keep control as Maz bounced over the uneven ground, the suspension struggling to compensate. He felt every jolt, every bump, reverberate through his spine. But the SUV was heavier, less agile. They hurtled towards the end of the field, and Julien scanned the horizon, heart hammering. Then, he spotted it—a small gap in the tree line. A Maz-sized gap.

If Julien could make it through there, maybe they’d reach another road, and maybe, just maybe, they’d lose the SUV in the process.

The gap loomed closer. They were moments away now. Julien glanced in the mirror—

The smooth control Julien had over Maz vanished in an instant as the tyres hit a patch of ice. Julien swore, fighting to correct their path, but it was too late. The steering wheel jolted violently in his hands, and the car seemed to float for a heartbeat, weightless and terrifying, as if the ground had simply disappeared beneath them .

“Watch out!” Cinn shrieked pointlessly, because there was nothing Julien could do to stop the car skidding wildly, spinning across the icy ground towards a sharp drop.

A sharp drop which soon revealed itself to be more of a—

Cliff.

They plunged off the edge.

Julien’s stomach plummeted as the world tilted violently around him. They tumbled down the steep incline, the rough ground blurring past his vision. Maz’s wheels spun futilely, kicking up dirt and rocks as she tilted further to the right. The groaning metal filled his ears, and for a heartbeat, everything seemed to freeze before Maz completely flipped.

Snow.

Sky.

Earth.

Do something. Anythin—

Julien’s head smacked into the window, his vision exploding into stars as the impact reverberated through his skull.

Snow.

Sky.

Earth.

Everything became a blur as they tumbled, gravity pulling them in every direction at once.

The crunching metal and shattering glass drowned out Cinn’s scream. Julien’s hand shot out, grabbing his in a desperate grip, their fingers intertwining as the car continued its chaotic descent. Julien squeezed tighter, holding on with everything he had as Maz rolled over again, then again, each violent jolt threatening to rip them apart.

Was this really how Julien’s life ended? Tumbling down a cliff in his wreck of a car, clutching the hand of the boyfriend he’d had for less than twenty-four hours, to meet their shared, tragic fate ?

In the madness of it all, their gazes met for a split second—eyes wide with fear, but also with something else, something unspoken. Julien didn’t need words to tell Cinn what he was thinking; the silent promise was there in the way they held onto each other, refusing to let go.

The car flipped one last time, finally slamming to a stop with a sickening thud that threw them violently forward. The airbags exploded with a deafening pop, cushioning the impact but not the terror. A tree branch speared through the shattered windshield, narrowly missing them by inches, knocking the breath out of Julien’s lungs. The world fell silent, save for the ticking of the cooling engine and the ragged sounds of their breathing. Snowflakes drifted softly onto the fractured glass, a stark contrast to the chaos surrounding them.

Julien’s breath came in gasps, his chest aching from the airbag’s impact. One hand was still clenched on the wheel while the other squeezed Cinn’s incredibly tightly, as if letting go would unravel his fragile grip on reality. Each and every muscle trembled. Eventually, using all of his energy, he relaxed his grip on the wheel to press against where he’d hit his head, his fingers coming away sticky. He blinked, trying to focus, trying to make sense of the world around him.

Please, let him be okay.

“Cinn…” Julien rasped, turning his head slowly. His neck protested the movement, a sharp pain shooting down his spine. “Are you… alright?”

Cinn slumped in his seat, groaning softly. A trickle of blood ran down his forehead. But he was alive. Alive . With obvious effort, he twisted slightly to face Julien with unfocussed eyes, then nodded weakly. “Right as rain, mate. You certainly delivered on your whole wild ride promise.”

Julien let out an unsteady laugh.

He tipped his head back on the seat, rubbing a hand over his face. Oh, how he wished he could sleep for a week .

Sadly, that definitely wasn’t on the menu. Because a plume of smoke was curling up from the crumpled bonnet, thick and black. A strange scent filled the air: chemical, sharp. A rapid, irregular popping noise accompanied it.

Once he realised what was going on, panic surged through Julien as yet another wave of adrenaline seized hold of him, overriding any concussion.

“Out! Now!”

Their hands dove simultaneously for their seatbelt buckles. Julien jammed on the door handle. It miraculously opened enough for him to slide out.

But Cinn wasn’t copying him.

“What are you doing?”

He was rooting through the glove compartment, now half-open, a crumpled mess of papers and debris strewn across Maz’s interior. Cinn held up their passports, grinning victoriously, as the trickle of blood beaded down his left cheek.

“Get the fuck out of the car, you idiot!” Julien shouted. Why was now the moment for Cinn to develop organisational skills?

They stumbled away from the car, the frigid air hitting their faces as they scrambled to safety. The strange sound of something hissing and sputtering from the engine only intensified their desperation.

Hitting a tree line, Julien slowed, turning back to survey the mangled wreckage from a distance.

Julien’s heart stuttered as he took in the horrific sight: his once sleek black Mazda, his beloved pride and joy, was now a crumpled mess of twisted metal and shattered glass. The car was half-buried in snow, its front end smashed against a cluster of gnarled tree trunks, while black smoke now billowed from the broken engine.

There was no further warning .

The black smoke thickened into an ominous cloud, and then, with a thunderous roar, the car exploded in a blinding flash of orange and red. The shockwave rocked Julien back, the heat and debris sending him stumbling as his hand shot out to find Cinn’s arm.

They both ended up on their backs on the soggy ground, breathless and disorientated, inhaling air thick with the acrid smell of burning metal.

Julien pushed himself up to stare at Maz, alight with flickering flames. At least she went out in style.

“My poor baby.”

Cinn grunted in annoyance. “Yeah, don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Just bleeding from my head wound over here.”

Julien captured Cinn’s face with two icy hands. “My poor, poor baby.” He kissed his forehead, his lips meeting the coppery taste of Cinn’s blood.

In unison, they turned back to face the hypnotic blaze, flames dancing wildly in hues of orange and crimson. The fire licked greedily at the air, casting flickering shadows that seemed to writhe and twist with a life of their own as it devoured everything inside.

“Well,” Julien said. “At least we don’t need to worry about burying those bodies any longer.”

Cinn let out a sharp, hysterical laugh, the sound echoing strangely in the thicket of trees.

A sudden thought burst into Julien’s mind, sending him flying to his feet. “ Putain ! Your Walkman! Your cassettes!”

He took a step towards Maz. Maybe they could still be saved. Maybe he could—

Cinn yanked his arm backwards. “Are you mad? Julien, your car is on fire. Maz is on fire. Who cares about a music player?”

Julien wasn’t fooled—the strained edge to Cinn’s voice was a giveaway, as was the sad look in his eye. “You!” he cried. “You care! ”

Cinn smacked him on the arm. “Stop. The only really important thing is standing right here with me.”

Julien’s heart squeezed itself into a tight ball. “What, your beanie hat?” Julien tugged on it, resulting in another smack.

“You’re such a dick.” Cinn slid away from Julien to fold his arms. He nodded his chin at what was left of Maz. “Didn’t you think to build some sort of anti-explosion device into her?”

“Well, I have to say, I didn’t expect to get entangled in a high-speed car chase, resulting in us being driven off the road into a tree. To be honest, I mainly concentrated on the clarity of the sound system, and her ultra-smooth suspension.”

“We better get moving. The SUV could still find us here.”

“Once we’ve ripped the number plates off Maz, yes. I’ll cool her down with some of this ice once I get my strength back. Though there’s something even more important I have to do first.”

A small frown split across Cinn’s forehead, and Julien smoothed it with his thumb. His other arm snaked around him, drawing him close. The warmth of Cinn’s body seeped through the coldness, quickly embedding itself in Julien’s bones. As he lifted Cinn’s chin, his mouth fell open in a small circle of surprise.

“I think this could probably wait,” Cinn muttered, jerking his head towards the billowing plumes of smoke that choked the air.

“ Non !” Julien declared dramatically, enjoying Cinn’s look of alarm as he brushed some of the ash that clung to his cheeks away, marking Cinn with grey war paint. His head pounded, his muscles ached, he’d quite like to lie down on the ground, but goddammit! “It will not be said that I made you wait a second more than I had to.”

Confusion and mild annoyance flickered across Cinn’s face as he tried to pull away.

“Since you’ve apparently tried to tell me this three times in total, I’ll do the same. ”

Un. “ Je t’aime .” Julien kissed Cinn’s forehead again.

Deux. “ Je t’aime .” He trailed his lips down to press them to his cheek.

Trois. “And, in case you still don’t understand basic French, which is probable: I love you.” Their lips met, tender and slow. Julien closed his eyes, enjoying the soft gasp that Cinn made, that he swallowed with his own mouth.

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.

Julien pulled back. Cinn’s expression was so utterly stunned—dazed eyes, slightly parted lips—that Julien fought to suppress a bubble of delirious laughter.

“Now we’re even again. I know how much you like things to be fair.”

A smile slowly broke across Cinn’s face, his widened eyes softening into something more certain. He attempted to move away, but Julien clasped him against his chest.

“I love you too,” Cinn breathed into the crook of Julien’s neck. The warmth of his words had his heart bursting full of helium, lifting him skywards. The tether that was his fears and doubts snapped, the gravity of the world relinquishing its grasp on him. If there was one thing right now that Julien knew for certain, it was that this was a moment he’d remember for the rest of time. He pulled Cinn tightly against him, clutching him as though, if he squeezed hard enough, Cinn would stay right there by his side. Always.

The fire had grown so furious that it radiated a fierce, almost unbearable heat, and the thick smoke stung Julien’s eyes, but he needed one more kiss before they sprinted through the woods in search of civilization. Something to give him strength.

As their lips met amid the snowfall and swirling ash, he could taste the love pouring out of them and into each other—an unmistakable blend of desperation and devotion. It was their own brand of love, one forged in light and shadow. A gritty, relentless sort of love. The ride-or-die kind. Us against the world. The tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow sort of love.